"CLAAAANG-CLIIING!"

A dull routine class came to an end with the dull clanging of the school bell. Eager to get away from their desks, students crammed books and notebooks into their bags, and the classroom came alive. The rough scrape of chairs on the floor was interspersed with laughter and conversation.

"Okay, class dismissed,"

Sensei stated in a voice that could hardly be heard over the fuss. Students spilling into the corridor followed him as he left the class.

A few voices were heard over the bustle.

"Do we continue to get together after school? A girl in the back row muttered, "You promise, right?" in a kind yet hopeful tone.

The reply was quiet and playful, "You know I'll be there." and her partner laughed. They exchanged a quick kiss before the boy slipped out of his seat, glancing back one last time.

"Pathetic. So this is what love looks like? A bunch of lip-locking idiots in the back of the class. Just a way to pass time before they realize it means nothing."

Haru Kisaragi, With a smirk in his mind, stared at the couple.

"Oh, look at that. Mr. I-need-to-please-you, finally getting a kiss from the queen of empty promises." Haru's internal voice sneered at them. "I feel so sorry for him. What's that girl's plan? Stick around until the new shiny guy shows up? Then dump him like last season's magazine model. Yeah, he's a bad-poor idiot."

Haru murmured and his lips twisted slightly,"Hey man, I am sorry to say this but you're just a puppet in her hands willing to do anything for that f**king hole that made many men pleasure while going deep inside." 

 He let out a sigh and shook his head, "Idiot me, why do I even bother with them? They're just a piece of wreckage in this whole world."

"In the world like this people will do anything for that worthless affection," Haru whispered to himself, "just to get another taste of something that's been passed around more times than you'd care to admit."

He scrubbed a hand through his hair as a feeling of regret hit him. "Oh man, what's happening to me these days? I'm just acting like I'm being mean to everyone." he muttered, his voice lowed down.

"Hey, Hey, Hey just forget everything ok?" Haru tried to ease himself.

After a few moments many of the students left the class, Haru was still sitting in the middle of the buzz. He leaned forward, his gaze fixed on a faintly carved name on his desk: "Amaya.", it's the name that was carved long ago. He touched the name's lines as if he lost something that's precious to him.

At last, he stood, moving slower than everyone else, with his bag hanging off one shoulder. His eyes returned to the desk again. He was drawn more into his own thoughts by the name "Amaya".

Amaya's voice running in his mind, a whisper from the past, a voice he hadn't heard in months,

"Hey, what are you doing here at this moment?"

"I really like to be around you, Misutā Myūto."

"Misutā Myūto", it's the last word she uttered before she went missing. Whenever these words run in my mind, it feels like she's still standing there, bright-eyed and full of life. But she's gone, isn't she? Months have passed. What was she trying to tell me? What did I miss at that moment?

With all these things running in my mind It feels like I lost myself in the dark-storms that are leading me to the gates of the endless dusk.

You know, this world is filled with the pain of living and the sacrifices we make for the one we love. It could be anyone, a mother, a sister, a brother, a father, a friend, or even the one we loved silently, from afar, without ever expecting anything in return.

In my case, I couldn't save my family because it turns out my family pulled a Houdini act when I was born. They must have looked at me and thought that I might not be worth sticking around. I don't even know how I survived. Maybe I'm just a cockroach impossible to kill, even when the world tries its hardest.

I don't have a family but I couldn't even protect the one closest to me. She was the only one who cared for me, She's gone now too. Funny how life works, huh? 

From the very beginning of my life, I had no one to share my feelings with; just me, myself, and I. The trio of myself in loneliness. I was totally an introvert, the kind of person who could walk into a crowded room and still be invisible. Honestly, that makes me a quick target to get bullied, Bullies seemed to have a concern for di*k . They were desperate to kick me and made my both nuts stronger.

I used to be a bookworm, (smerks) "bookworm" might be too dignified a term for someone who just ate, read, slept, and got crushed, it's my daily routine until junior high ended.

When I turned 15, I transferred to a high school in Osaka, and that's when everything started to feel... different. Strange, even. It wasn't just the city, it was me. I started to hear the voices calling my name, I didn't understand. At first, I thought it was the stress of starting over in a new place. You know, the usual: new faces, new areas and new bullies. But then I started seeing things.

And by "things," I don't mean the normal weird stuff that you'd expect in a big city. No, I'm talking about monsters, spirits, creatures that were barely there, shadows flitting in and out of sight. Others? They were too realistic nightmares. Clawed hands, twisted faces, glowing eyes. I don't even know what to call them. Nightmares, maybe? Except I wasn't dreaming.

No one's going to believe me if I say anything about them. Who would? They'd probably look at me like I was the one who belonged in a psychiatric room. And as usual, I'm an introvert, so I've never even thought about trying to talk about any of it. Hell, I'd rather chew glass than open up to anyone. If I open up about this, I would be an easy target for the people in this new place, and everything repeats again.

So, I made up my mind. I convinced myself that I must be suffering from schizophrenia, a mental disorder, hallucinations, voices, the whole package. After all, what else could it be? The monsters, the whispers, the shadows are just part of my broken brain playing tricks on me, right? A little mental hiccup, a glitch in the biological system.

To minimise the effect of my Broken glitch I just used a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, custom-made to blur my vision beyond a few meters.I convinced myself that if I couldn't see the monsters, I am free from them. Out of sight, out of mind, literally. For close-range focus, I used contact lenses that only corrected my vision up to an arm's length. It was a basic solution, but it was my own, and it worked. Yes, most of the time.

At first, it felt odd, as if I were living in a fog. I could see everything around me, yet only what I needed for everyday life. Everything else? A hazy, blurred scatter of colors and shapes. Faces became blurred, distant buildings melted into watercolor shadows, and the ever looming monsters? They are reduced, but I could just sense the feel of having them by my side, and everything is clear now.

But, to be real, there was something about the strange hallucination that, I started liking. It felt... different in a way I couldn't explain. Because, alongside the terrifying hallucinations, there was a voice, a voice that came from within me, like a brother I never had. 

And let me tell you, he was nothing like me. This guy was funny, sarcastic, and completely opposite of everything I am. While I was busy hiding in my fear and isolation, he wanted to do everything I would never dare to do.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

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After all those things, one fine day, three months later, I found myself stuck in a crowd of people, the same old scenario, a bunch of assholes trying to bully me. It was late night, the streets were empty. 

"Look at this fucking loser," one of them shouted at me, as if he owned the place.

He shoved Haru into the brick wall. "Still hiding behind your pathetic little wall, huh? Do you really think anyone cares about you?"

Haru didn't say a word. He was used to it.

Another one stepped up, pushing him again. "What's it feel like, huh? You still gonna stand there like a little bitch? Fucking waste of space." he came more closer to Haru and start smasshing Haru's face with his hand.

Everything felt so familiar to me like I was stuck in a loop, living the same damn day over and over again. But then, slowly, I started to understand something, it wasn't just familiar. It was worse. Every moment, every breath, just seemed to drag me deeper into the shadows in which I had found myself in. It felt like I was being watched.

I came to my senses and confirmed that it's different from the earlier, I don't know how, but my body started moving with the commands from the inside and in that flow I smashed one of the guys with the bring that was beside me and then he was totally bleeding.

The next guy rushed me with anger but then I suddenly gouged his neck and pressed him towards the wall. I can sense the fear from him, his face covered in fear and pain making me happy.

"Hmph... Your insults are meaningless. Do you really believe words can wound me?" My hand tightened around his neck, the pressure increasing with every word I spoke.

I could feel his breath lowing down as my hands squeezed tighter, his face turning red. "Weak. Pathetic. This isn't how a human should speak to another. Know your place."

I was happy seeing his pathetic face and so, I raised my knee and kicked him square in the nuts. He fell over, gasping for air.

I looked down at him with disgust. "What an insect."

On that day, I came to know that the one who is inside me can take over my body depending on the situation, to be more practical it is similar to Adaptive Personality Syndrome(ASP) & Integrated Dissociative State, in which personality mechanism, consciously activates in dangerous or complex situations.

That was my first day. I came to know my true self. I really loved it. It was the day I won, the day both me and my brother walked through the valley together. That valley felt like it was filled with the shadows of my past, the one that had haunted me for so long. It was nothing but a memory now. Because for the first time, I wasn't afraid to walk through it. And with that feeling of power inside me.

That was the day I can't forget, until the day I lost Amaya. That day, I came to know that the things I saw, the feeling of their presence around me, were not just illusions, they were real. The monsters, the spirits, the shadows that haunted me, they were not my imaginations. They were as real as anything else in this fucked-up world.

For the longest time, I convinced myself it was just a mental disorder, just something I had to ignore. But that fight, that moment, made everything clear. I wasn't just crazy. I wasn't just a freak. What I was seeing, what I was feeling, they were the things that no one else could understand, and that no one else would ever believe. All those things were real.

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It was a bright sunset, with long shadows on the path we walked. Ms. Amaya walked beside me. Our conversation was light, a kind of quiet conversation that didn't need to fill the gaps since her interaction was enough.

As we were walking, she suddenly stopped. I turned to look at her, and there was something in her expression that made my heart skip a beat, softness in her eyes, a hesitation in her movements. Before I could ask, she spoke.

"I really like to be around you, Misutā Myūto."

I blinked for a moment, I managed to ask, "Misutā Myūto?"

She turned to me, "Yes, Mr. Mute," she said with a playful smile. "You're always so quiet, always lost in your own world. You just seem like a totally mute guy from the very beginning."

She gave me the nickname "Mr. Mute," perfectly met my introverted nature.

I couldn't help but smile, just a little. Her words, her laughter made me feel something I hadn't felt for a long time. Maybe ever. Not judged. Not mocked. Just... noticed.

In those happy moments, I felt an odd sensation, a prickling awareness, like a ghostly outline forming around. It was as if I could sense a monster nearby,that's beside Amaya. I was nervous, so I removed my glasses.

And there it was: a terrible creature, its Black smoky and dark, crawling and moving like liquid darkness, on Amaya's shoulders. This was not a hallucination; it was real.

I couldn't move for a moment. The creature transformed before I could even respond, its dark form crawling steadily around Amaya like a snake wrapping around.

"Hey, are you alright?" Amaya's voice broke through my mind. She was looking at me, her eyes showing in concern, but there was something in her gaze that didn't match the situation. She couldn't feel it, couldn't see what I was seeing. Her words seemed so ordinary at that moment. 

I wanted to scream but I couldn't. Suddenly that Dark smoky curling creature, totally wrapped up Amaya.

For the first time she could also sense an awkward feeling that is around her.

"Haru, I don't know... why but..." Amaya's voice cutted off, she was totally in confusion, she looked around. "I can sense something... something's wrong here."

Her words hit me like a slap in the face. I could see the fear in her eyes and the way her body acted, as if she could sense an invisible presence that I could only sense. 

The creature twisted around Amaya, its dark, smoky form covered us both in the smog it created. In an instant, everything felt wrong. We never thought what was going to happen next but suddenly it felt like I fell down into a space that is neither reality or the dimension that I used to know. All I could hear were the screams of Amaya's. echoed in my ears, a desperate, haunting sound that tore through the silence of the shifting world. It felt as though time itself had stopped, leaving only her scream to fill the emptiness. And then, everything went dark.

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The strangest thing wasn't the creature or the darkness, it was when I woke up in the clinic. I had no idea how I got there. My head was spinning with the dizziness, but all I could think about was Amaya.

"Where is she?" I asked, struggling to sit up. "What happened? The monster… the portal…"

The psychiatrist who was taking care of me, a woman named Ms. Tanaka who is the mother of Amaya, came over and started taking notes, her expression unreadable. She asked if I was feeling alright.

"Just rest," she said softly, before walking away.

A short while later, Ms. Tanaka came around and I told her everything: about Amaya, the creature, the smoke, everything.

"Whats your name?" she questioned me.

"Haru Kisaragi", i stated my name, i was totally confused, what's actually happening in here. 

"I am friend of Amaya, can I know how she is feeling now?" I am so eager to meet her. 

"What's the date today?" she questioned again.

"It's Feb 13th 2021," I replied and then she directly stated,"It's Feb 13th 2024".

I was totally confused and just asked, "Where is Amaya? Ms. Tanaka, where is your daughter".

By hearing my words she laughed and stated that she knew no one called Amaya and then she stated that she only has a daughter who is 11 years old. I was totally confused, trying to remember what happened.

From then after Ms.Tanaka, the one who has taken care of me after Amaya. She became like a mother to me, the family I lost, the love I never had that finally came to me, not only her but also a sister, a sister i was dreaming for, a quite cute girl who always pokes her nose in someone's attitude and falls into trouble. Ms.Tanaka has adopted me and now she thinks i'm totally free from schizophrenia but in reality, it's just something that no one could think of, that's beyond the imagination.

But then I just came to understand that there is no one called Amaya in the world. It totally makes sense that the one who lost into the dark shadows were totally forgotten in the world where they did exist. I also came to know about the Dark shadows that have different time and space mechanisms that make it worse. Actually I was just there for a small moment but in reality it became like a 3 year time period.

But trying to understand all of this doesn't even make sense anymore. It's like searching for a needle in a desert. The one I loved is gone, and now I have a new family, people who accepted and loved me. Along with them, I have the best companion, always inside me, always protecting me.

In the beginning I just wanted to know about him, but I'm fine without knowing those things because he's the first one who's ever truly been close to me.

Now, all I care about is family. I know I can't just let reality or the truth be forgotten. I understand it's not the right choice to forget someone I once loved, but to seek more answers, it's obvious that it will only make things worse.

I've just accepted everything and am living a normal life. The only choice I have left is to forget those things that I can't seem to forget. They haunt me like a nightmare. All I can do is try to forget everything that's the only option left for me to live the happy dream in this world of nightmare.

And now, I'm just living a normal life, like a high school student who doesn't have any friends. The emptiness I feel is something I can't escape the emptiness of missing Ms. Amaya. You know, when someone is addicted to something, they need to find an alternative to fill that void. So, in this nightmare, I'm searching for Ms. Amaya among other girls, hoping to find a glimpse of what I lost.

 I'm totally an idiot, aren't I?