The headmaster glared at the two people sitting in front of him. 

“Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable! I haven’t seen pranks like this since primary school. Gentlemen, do you know why it is tradition to offer the post of headmaster to two people at the same time?” he asked. 

They shook their heads. 

“It is because this is an incredibly dangerous job. Magic in itself is dangerous. Students tend to dislike the headmaster, and will attempt to use ‘new’ spells to kill me. Faculty at times become disgruntled, and try things like food poisoning and invisible stairwells on me. The academy itself has enemies, and people will occasionally attempt to blow it and me up. In short, my life has been threatened over five hundred times in my years as headmaster. When a headmaster retires, it is tradition to appoint two new ones at the same time to see which one survives. Only someone who is vigilant and cunning can succeed at this job.” He took a deep breath. “And yet, somehow, instead of being in any way harmed, one of you is covered in green polka-dots, and the other one is a kitten!”

“Cat.”

“Did you say something?”

“No, sir.”

“As I thought! So! Would you care to explain?”

The two looked at each other, then looked down. 

“Marcus Handover,” the cat muttered. 

“I’m sorry?”

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“Master Wizard Handover,” the one who was not a cat corrected. 

“Handover.” The headmaster gave them a flat glare, giving his memory time to work. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t he the wizard who died two years ago? He turned himself invisible to hide in the dressing room of a ladies’ lingerie shop, and was beaten to death by a group of women with surprisingly heavy handbags when the spell failed. If I recall correctly. What does he have to do with anything?”

The cat cleared his throat. “He is-“

“Was.”

“-was the same age as us. We were all in the same class most of the way through primary school.”

“He bullied us mercilessly.”

“So we made a…”

“...A blood pact. To protect each other to the best of our abilities.”

“And to never harm each other.”

“Right.”

The headmaster gave a long, annoyed sigh, rubbing his face. “Blood pacts are illegal, you know.”

“Well, we do now.”

“When we made it we didn’t.”

“So, if I understand correctly, you will literally die if one of you harms the other.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

“In that case, I have no other option,” he said. “Congratulations! You have managed to break a tradition that has lasted over three thousand years! When I retire next week, both of you will become headmasters! Good. Luck.”

They muttered thanks. 

“Now get out of my office before I set one of you on fire.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

They hurried to the corridor and shut the door behind them. The cat looked up. 

“That went better than expected.”

“I was fully expecting him to set one of us on fire when we mentioned the blood pact.”

“Same.”

They started walking, grateful to be alive. The human frowned. 

“I think I’ll turn you lime green next.”

“Should we continue our rivalry?” the cat asked. 

“For the sake of appearance, yes. I can release the transformation on you, though, if you like.”

“Oh, no, I’m actually growing quite fond of this form. The students seem to pay more attention to me now. Would you like me to change the dots?”

“Perhaps to red stripes?”

The cat nodded, mentally preparing a spell.