Chapter 17: Reality
I reply skeptically, “I lack any formal education. I doubt I can attend a prestigious university.”
Geralt replies with a larger grin than before, “I think you’ll do just fine.”
“I dispute my confrontational control in the strenuous noble atmosphere. I would be better off being a musician surely. Is there such a musical academy?”
“There are plenty of musical branches in Mareovosa. I’ll sign you up for the classes.”
“If you insist so thoroughly, then I will oblige,” I reply while scratching my back.
Geralt replies, “You don’t seem very excited Jack?”
I reply after a moment's thought with a flat voice, “I doubt my wording nor lineage will inspire allies. I will likely face persecution. My temper can be,” I pause as I grope for the right words, “brimmed with carnage.”
Geralt stares at me with a slightly displeased look. After about thirty seconds he says, “If you are willing to continue tutoring my daughter, work for me for an assigned period of time after classes, and you maintain utterly perfect grades and conduct then I shall give you the protection of my name.”
I observe him closely then say, “Why would you willingly offer so much for me?”
“I believe you shall become someone of value later. You have a drive in you. I do not trust my instincts, but you have proven yourself in multiple respects. I dare admit, but yesterday when you confronted me,” He pauses then continues respectfully.
“I felt genuine fear. Fear is a powerful thing Jack. I have only felt it on three occasions in my life. A boy who can make me feel such emotion is bound for great things. That’s why I believe in you.”
Deluge laughs with near hysteria.
I say over the laughter in my mind, “So you're investing?”
“Precisely.”
“I will think the offer over. I don’t know-”
“Either now or never my boy. I don’t need someone who wallows in indecision,” he says with finality.
“Then yes,” I promptly reply. The village lies in tatters after Deluge’s actions. Deluge killed Morne and Kless. No reason parades itself before me, So I stick to my plan. Move forward.
“Alright my boy. The start of the term is in two weeks. Try to prepare yourself before you get there. You will be starting at the very lowest rank since you're only thirteen.”
“I doubt much should be expected from me nor will the difficulties eclipse my prior dilemmas.”
Antoinnette blunders, “What? He will be in the same class with me and be two years younger? Daddy, this is humiliating! You even told me he was sixteen!”
Geralt snaps, “Your lack of control of your emotions painted a picture of Jack as a fiend! I struck him yesterday in anger because of your recklessness. You should be grateful I am still sending you to the academy at all after that shameful display.”
Antoinnette sighs loudly, “You're so unfair! I don’t...You're just...UGGGHH!”
She storms off while I have a very small grin constantly fighting my stern expression creating a wobble in my lips. I fight the losing battle as Geralt says, “You may smirk now, but you have much work to do. I will have tutors sent for you both as you lack the tact for the social aspects of the academy.”
“I accept the assistance gratefully,” I say with my hand over my chest bordering sarcasm.
“Alright with that settled, it was good to see you, but I must complete my work.”
I point towards one of his equations, “That should be 64, not 63. Goodbye.”
Geralt changes the angle of the paper as though revising perspectives will make the process easier. In this scenario it will not, but I ignore his plight.
I stroll towards my room spotting Roselia along the way. I approach her then say, “Hello my dear, would you mind sharing this lovely evening?”
Roselia stares at me with derision saying, “I will be quite fine simply attending to your needs Sir Jack.”
I stand straighter wearing a questioning look while asking, “What distresses you Roselia? I pray I did you no harm.”
She acidly says, “You can simply call me the red haired maid Sir. If you do not need anything I shall go now.”
Roselia tries storming away, but I cut her off by grabbing her sleeve and saying, “I need to know what's hurting you Roselia. You don’t have to suffer alone. I can help.”
Roselia pushes me off saying sadly, “You don’t understand anything. I just. I can’t.”
She rushes out of the room leaving me thirsting for reason in an ocean of nonsense. The only person I know who may explain her behaviour is myself. Antoinnette will be worse than useless, and Deluge understands very little of how humans work.
I finish entering my room and brainstorm. The most obvious facts array themselves before me. Roselia is sullen and bitter. the only factor that changed since this morning would be my going to the university. I will leave this place in a only three weeks.
Roselia may be jealous of the opportunities granted to me. The harsh words and expression explain that, but the sullen frustration seems like an outlier. I rack my brain for a couple of minutes and finally ask my only friend for help.
Deluge responds, “You think me your friend? Hah, hah. You must be lonely.”
I reply, Lonely enough that I speak with the voice in my head. Either way if you would assist me then by all means.”
“Well why do you humans anger? That would be helpful to know.”
“We anger over many things. Almost anything based on our perspective.”
“Name a few common reasons. Your previous statement answers nothing.”
“Only nothing for those with nothing to go off. The most common reasons for my anger are being attacked, being stolen from, losing something, betrayal, harming my reputati-”
Deluge interrupts, “Let's stick with those as core reasons. Have you done anything like this?”
“No.”
“Then her anger stems from causes unknown. This discussion bores me.”
“Thank you for the help Deluge.”
“I stand as a pillar of reason.”
“Your reason supports like a pile of sand.”
The process worked within predictable expectations, so I accept the event for what it is. An unexplainable action that I may never fully understand. If Roselia really wishes for my departure, then it shall be so.
I ready my mind for the tutoring to come with musical exercises and logical problems. I teach Deluge the basics of debate, poetry, and song then he teaches me control over my body. He explains,
“You also can control this body as we share this conscious. Just as all of your physical abilities submit before me, mine submit for you as well. You have not tried is all.”
“You're telling me I had the ability for augmentation, yet you never spoke of it?” I ask in surprise.
Deluge replies logically, “You seemed rather apprehensive for physical changes since the start of our union.”
“True, though your alterations leave me resembling a giant ogre or troll rather than an athletically gifted human.”
“Humans are so weak that the difference between a strong and weak one in your terms means nothing. A titan bear will smash the strongest of humans in one swipe regardless.”
“Hmmm. Wouldn’t my understanding allow us some level of coordination? The idea sounds promising as your attempts for coordination are lacking.”
“I may lack in finesse, but I conquer with power.”
“Power itself can be a weakness if mishandled Deluge. We cannot rampage every time you feel threatened. Try letting me steer while you offer the brawn.”
“Hmmm. Sounds rather pragmatic. I shall consider it.”
The tutor eventually shows, but she helps with a drab slowness that lulls lakes to stillness. I manage some benefit from her during sessions when she allows my own questioning. I speed through these times allowing for dramatic increases in knowledge. I learn much of the history of this world from The Plague of Hermes to the Wars between Meoltina and Hera-Bralt.
The sciences and medicine reveal themselves only for Deluge to debunk them completely. He explains in intricate, exhaustive terms how the human body works. Deluge’s understanding thoroughly trounces hers so completely that I question her claims of other subjects eventually ignoring her altogether except in history.
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The time studiously passes quickly, and the day of the migration comes as I prepare myself for the journey. I arrange the care package along with my belongings in the carriage. I say my goodbyes toward Hemly and the other maids before I reach Roselia who simply stares down.
I confront her saying, “I do not wish for our memories of each other to be stained at the hands of dreadful goodbyes. I do not understand why you yearn to hate me, but I want you to know this.”
I pause before continuing, “Your wit enthralls me Roselia. Your charm and demeanor intrigue my eyes and ears without end. I wanted more time with you, but circumstances rend our bond apart. I am sorry for this.”
Roselia’s eyes pool with tears as droplets fall from her face. She then says, “I just. I wanted you to stay.”
Understanding assails me. She her desire for my suspension causes her woe, so she rejects attachment forgoing pain. What a diluted existence.
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I respond coldly, “You. You would admonish joy by reason of sadness? The sadness of loss is precious. It shows you had something to lose. The emptiness means you were full. I-”
I lose my words. She responds with regret, “You are too bright. I can’t get too close or I’ll burn.”
I say in disappointment, “I will never demean myself for others. You simply don’t see yourself for who you are. Goodbye Roselia.”
I shift around and walk away leaving the girl crying in silence. Her weakness divides with isolating palisades that my affection leaves untouched. She demands far more than I willingly deliver. I’m unfit for freeing her from self abasement.
I withdraw from the situation then I enter the stage coach with Antoinnette. I dread the long trip ahead. Antoinnette ganders for conversation, but I immediately shun her. Stupidity grates my mind, so I don’t enable her interactions.
The problem lies in how the less agreeable I act toward Antoinette, the more she tries talking with me. The paradox furthers my growing irritation at her presence. As I ignore the girl I peer outside the stage coach finding a pleasing visage greet me.
The landscape aurates with awe. The vast world I live upon never ceases her dazzling renewal of my admiration. Mountains taller than clouds gift my vision. Rivers large as oceans nuzzle the horizon with depths so deep the water blackens. Birds and hawks larger than men swarm in packs while trees that touch the sky surround us.
At the end of the day, we settle a camp within the trees. My nerves persist upon the edge of battle from my previous experiences. Regardless of my conscious thoughts, my body develops into a tight knot of tension. I capitulate before my body’s wishes.
I help create the fire, set up shelter, stable the horses, then I forage for extra food. As night approaches, Antoinnette continues attempting discussion despite my being busy. Eventually she asks a reasonable question while I gather some berries.
“Why are you so tense?”
“I have been lost in a forest before. The trees will placate the mind while the wind brushes limbs crafting nightmares for the poor souls lost here.”
“Forests aren’t that bad. There is nothing the guards can't handle.”
“You speak from deep, near bottomless wells of ignorance. Bandits, thieves, fassars, bears, horrors we humans know nothing of may infest the trees around us. Anything could smash us from any direction.”
“Look, not every situation is life and death.”
“Perhaps not for you, but I know of the closeness of death. The reaper roams closely.”
“You're overreacting. This world isn’t so dangerous. Just lighten up.”
“The last time I lightened up I faced betrayal with my life at stake and a stake through my chest.”
“You just lack perspective. Try seing your situation for what it is. you just see the world through a rose tinted glass.”
I stop foraging then I swivel towards her.
“What would imply such a fact,” I say with feigned interest.
“Well, you always act like I don’t know anything. I got a brain too yenno. You also always act serious like you're about to die. Its annoying. Other people have it hard too. You just prance around like you're the only one who has suffered. Others have too.”
“Annoying,” I pause then repeat the word, “Annoying, aye? You know what's annoying? Being berated about my realistic perspective by a conceited noble girl covered by miles and earths of rose tinted glass.”
“What is your problem. I’m just trying to talk to someone. The guards talk like they’ve never seen a book.”
I finally snap, “Look antoinnette. Have you ever had to kill someone to survive?”
“Of course not.”
“Those guards likely have. I certainly have. To be precise, I have killed dozens of people just to live. I have seen the evils of men. I have peered through depths so dark, and so soiled, the filth will never relinquish me. I have swallowed toxins so virulent, my body is but a corpse. You have never faced real hardship. Not the trite social concerns you believe painful. I speak of true anguish. I speak of true misery. Begone.”
Antoinnette discredits my speech, “I am sure you have suffered greatly you poor thing. You probably just use your poetic speech to exaggerate your claims.”
Deluge stabilizes me, “There is nothing here Jack. you have no means of convincing her. This is more meaning less than trying to darken the sun.”
I tell her after a long pause, “You are probably right. I am gone. Leave me alone.”
“I just want to talk. We don’t have to talk about stuff like this. We can just talk about math or-”
“I will physically run away from you if you don’t stop. Do you wish for me to shame ourselves with such deplorable conduct? No? Then stop stalking me.”
“UHHHGG. FIne.”
She finally departs me towards the carriage. I attempt sleeping in the carriage as well, but rest eludes me. I toss and turn until I remember why I could sleep in the forest before. I put on my simple clothes from the back of the carriage, and I go beside the fire. The warmth caresses my body with leisure, so I slumber.
I rouse from a snap off in the forest. I still can’t manipulate my senses yet, so Deluge enhances my sight and hearing enabling perception of our surroundings. A pack of fassars roams around our campsite. I thank my previous training with Deluge for self defense.
Their bodies are leaner than normal with ribs sticking out though still heavily muscled. They froth from their mouths while they circle our encampment. bulky and stout, the fassars stand four feet tall with claws as long as thumbs and fangs longer than fingers. Expressions of starvation line their faces. They shouldn’t be this far north.
Their jagged, striped fur vibrates intensely as they prepare for pouncing. I howl with the intensity defying my size. The animals flinch for seconds before the six legged cats reprep themselves for attack. Deluge rapidly morphs my physique making my hands like stones while strengthening my arms.
Air gently moves from behind me as I barely turn in time for a fanged mouth charging my throat. I catch the mouth with the side of my hand while the cat’s weight forces me on the ground. The claws of its feet tare my body as it snaps at my face with passion allotted only for the starving.
Antoinette opens the stage coach door with the other guards spotting the cats killing me. I push with my hand on the cat's chest lifting the beast barely before I rapidly pull the hand back then force it inside the creature’s mouth using the creatures downward momentum to drive my fist down its throat.
I dig my hand deeper and deeper wrapping my other arm around the cat's head then wrapping my legs around its body. I viciously shove my arm deeper down the animal’s throat until the creature furiously jerks for air. I squeeze with all of my being as the creature tears my arm apart with its mouth before the creature makes a violent spasm then falls over.
I briskly remove my hunting knife with my non lodged arm and slice the creature's throat with choppy, ragged movements then another fassar tackles my side. Antoinnette screams as the guards barricade themselves within the carriage. They leave me watching me burn. I expected as much.
The fassar and I torque through the air as it bites my shoulder. Deluge expands my teeth and jaw as I bite into the creature's neck. My hooked and serrated teeth dig into the animal’s flesh tearing veins when I crunch and chomp into its neck. Another fassar barely appears within my peripheral sight giving me time to latch my teeth as hard as I can into the throat of this monster.
The next fassar bites my neck while tackling me over. The impact rips the other fassar’s throat out as my teeth stick in its flesh. I plea for air scrambling the fassar off me, but I have no means of rescue.
I use two fingers then violently stab above my throat tearing at my own body. Air rushes into my lungs through the hole in my throat as Deluge grows a spine from the back of my neck. I dislocate my arms rotating them behind me. Deluge rebuilds my joints allowing me to clamp on the fassars body as the spike drives through the beast’s skull.
The animal shakes violently as the spike pierces its brain. The muscles then relax allowing me freedom. Deluge reduces my injuries so they no longer slow me down and I walk towards the carriage as the other fassars run away.
The spike retracts back into my body with my jaw returning to normal. I knock on the carriage with my body coating in congealing blood. As they open the door with spears, I spread my arms saying, “They're gone. I scared the monsters away. Guards.”
The guards stare aghast as antoinnette pukes at my appearance. I pop my arms back into place as a guard leans out the window vomiting. I say, “Help me you cowards. I need bandages and food. We have three fassars to eat rotting around.”
The guards shake their heads while saying, “Th-th-three? H-how did you?”
I roar, “Stop asking questions and HELP ME.”
The guards scramble for medical supplies while antoinnette puts her hand over her ears while closing her eyes. I grab one of her hands with a bloody fingers jerking the hand from her ears. I grab her chin and lift her face while saying, “Open your eyes Antoinnette.”
She shakes her head screaming at me, “Your blood, UHHGGG, GROSS.”
I shout, “OPEN YOUR EYES!”
She opens her eyes slowly. She starts crying.
“This Antoinnette. This is your first taste of my reality.”
I give her a grisly smile then I walk outside where I start skinning the fassars for food.
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