It was a storm of dreams. An infinite number of strange beings, objects, and locations appeared, changed, and disappeared all at once in front of them. A circle of clockwork elves danced around a screaming sunflower as it burned alive. A fish transformed into an ape, which transformed into a caveman, which transformed into an angel, which took its halo in both hands and slit its own throat. A pyramid the size of a planet rose out of the storm, looked down at Emma with the human eye at its zenith, said, 'Yahud,' and then crumbled to dust.

'What...is this?' said Emma.

Monster Slayer came up beside her. 'This is the Dungeon Universe in its true form.'

'Then...what the hell is the Dungeon Universe?'

'The Dungeon Universe is a universe between universes, made of psychic energy from every being in the Multiverse. It is our collective subconscious, a means of interdimensional travel, and an afterlife for souls forsaken by their Gods.' Monster Slayer tapped the stone floor of the tomb with his foot. 'What we're standing in now is the Colonised Dungeon Universe, an infinite network of Dungeons; what is in front of us is the Wild Dungeon Universe, a primordial chaos of pure thought. It's not safe here. The two halves of the Dungeon Universe are forever at war with one another and will claim each other's territory if they can. I didn't realise we were this close to the frontier, but it can't be helped: very little of the Colonised Dungeon Universe has been mapped. Everyone exit the chamber through the Dungeon Gate Bunny-Bear and I came in from. Whatever you do, don't have any strong thoughts; Odin knows what you could summon from either the Colonised Dungeon Universe or the Wild Dungeon Universe in a place like this.'

Emma nodded. As a military woman, she knew how to control her thoughts. She looked at Akumi; she just hoped her new travelling companion could say the same.

*

Akumi was shaking. No strong thoughts, no strong thoughts, no strong thoughts—Lee Sun-Moon naked—no strong thoughts—damn it!

A naked Asian man appeared in the storm of dreams. It was Lee Sun-Moon, the South Korean SpaceCraft World Champion and Akumi's current crush.

Lee Sun-Moon smiled and flew towards her.

'No!' Akumi waved her arms around. 'I take it back! Go to hell!'

The Asian man gave her a big, naked hug.

The storm of dreams morphed into a giant bronze gate with a demonic face.

'MONSTER GIRL!' said Monster Slayer. 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!'

'It's a Devil Door!' said Bunny-Bear.

The Devil Door grinned. 'A VIRUS FROM THE WILD DUNEGON UNIVERSE HAS BEEN DETECTED. THE COLONISED DUNGEON UNIVERSE HAS SUMMONED HELL AS A FIREWALL. PLEASE STAND BY.'

The demonic face split in half as the bronze gate opened.

They were met with a bronze gladiatorial arena. Demons were fighting on red sand beneath a burning sky. Akumi recognised these mobs from Damnation Online. There were Shotgun Satyrs, Hell Marines, Blood Knights, and even a Cyber Cerberus.

The Cyber Cerberus turned to look at them, the mutilated corpse of a Shotgun Satyr in its three jaws.

'Oh, Buddha,' said Akumi.

The Cyber Cerberus dropped the corpse and bounded towards them barking.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Lee Sun-Moon flew at it. Was he trying to protect her?

The Cyber Cerberus gnashed poor Lee Sun-Moon to pieces.

Monster Slayer equipped a pair of blunderbuss pistols and blew the monster's heads off. 'Everyone retreat to the Dungeon Gate!'

They all ran towards the smoky doorway. A rocket screamed over their heads and blew it up.

Akumi turned around to find a Satanic Cultist with a smoking Hellfire Rocket Launcher. 'Damn!'

Monster Slayer fired at the oncoming horde of Demons. 'Fight them off with whatever ranged weapons you have!'

Akumi transformed into a Zombie Girl Gunslinger and started blasting Demons left and right with her Winchester Model 1887. Emma did the same with her SPAS-12 and floating Desert Eagles.

The Shotgun Satyrs and Hell Marines returned fire, and a frantic firefight ensued.

'Grenade out!' Monster Slayer equipped his Holy Hand Grenade and threw it into the midst of the horde. An flash of white fire incinerated the Demons.

Something big crashed through the far side of the bronze gladiatorial arena and crushed the Satanic Cultist underhoof.

Glowing red eye, cybernetic chainsaw arm, and the lower half of a mechanical bull.

It was a Cyber Cyclops!

The boss roared and stampeded towards them.

'I'll handle this!' Bunny-Bear equipped a repeating crossbow. 'Jellybee!' A tennis ball-sized jellyfish-bee appeared in her crossbow stock.

She fired a volley at the Cyber Cyclops' eye. The monster roared in pain and guarded its face with its chainsaw arm.

'Batoad!' A bat-toad appeared in her crossbow stock.

She fired it at the Cyber Cyclops' stomach. The explosion sent it staggering backwards.

'Spiderpillar!' A spider-caterpillar appeared in her crossbow stock.

She fired two at the Cyber Cyclops' front legs, and they coiled a web around them. The monster fell sideways and smashed its head open on the spikes of the gladiatorial arena.

Bunny-Bear pumped her bear paw into the air. 'The Bun has won!'

My god! thought Akumi. She's a beast!

More Demons swarmed into the gladiatorial arena through the hole in the Cyber Cyclops had created.

'Monster Girl, Gun Girl!' said Monster Slayer. 'You retreat to the cave entrance! Bunny-Bear and I will cover you!'

Emma used her Telekinesis to fly into the hall. Akumi transformed into a Ghost Girl Scout, hopped on Nightmare (who had been hiding behind the stone sarcophagus), and rode after her. They sped through the labyrinth of winding halls until they reached the light at the end of the tunnel. They exited the medieval door, shot through the cave, and finally made it to the forest!

Monster Slayer and Bunny-Bear followed shortly after, the Demons in hot pursuit.

'Destroy the Dungeon Gate!' said Monster Slayer.

Bunny-Bear fired a batoad into the cave. The explosion caused a cave-in which crushed the Demons under a cascade of boulders. The monsters shrieked in terror.

Then there was silence.

Akumi, Emma, Monster Slayer, and Bunny-Bear panted.

Monster Slayer whirled on Akumi, his right eye blazing. 'I TOLD YOU NO STRONG THOUGHTS!'

Akumi raised her hands. 'In my defence, it's been a very stressful day.'

Monster Slayer threw a punch at her. The fist phased though her face. Startled, Akumi fell off Nightmare and onto the grass. Nightmare neighed and reared.

Monster Slayer walked over to her and got right in her face. 'LIFE IS STRESS! IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN THIS MULTIVERSE, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO FOLLOW ORDERS! FROM NOW UNTIL I CAN GET RID OF YOU, YOU ARE PART OF MY ADVENTURER PARTY! WHEN I SAY, “JUMP!”, YOU SAY, “HOW HIGH?!” YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!'

Akumi felt tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

'GOOD!' Monster Slayer got up, sighed, and nodded to Emma. 'Good job keeping your head, Gun Girl. At least one of you has some brains.'

Emma shrugged. 'I've been through worse.'

Monster Slayer turned his back to them and started walking. 'Let's get going. We've got a long trek to Babel.'

Emma looked down at Akumi with a scornful expression. 'Idiot.' She followed Monster Slayer.

Akumi lowered her head and allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks.

Bunny-Bear hopped up beside her and gave her a fluffy hug. 'There, there, darlin'. Don't you worry none about Slayer. He means well; he just has a rotten way of showing it. It's only natural a gal would think about her fella' when she was knee deep in trouble.'

Akumi bawled. 'That wasn't my boyfriend! That's just some guy I masturbate to on the internet!'