CHAPTER 1

Not in Kansas Anymore

Hunter Ramsey woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Normally, the only thing that would drag him out of his rest would be his alarm clock. He could have sworn it was the weekend and wanted to sleep in as long as he could. Why the fuck are these birds chirping so loud?

Hunter tried to just roll over and ignore the noise but found himself startling from a sharp jabbing pain in his side. Refusing to open his eyes, he reached under himself to throw the offending object away, only to find the strange feeling of grass and a rock under his hand.

Did I get wasted last night and pass out in the yard?

He pried his eyes open to look around and gain his bearings. Bright sunlight was boring its way into his skull immediately. Squinting, he peered sheepishly around himself, expecting his neighbors to be staring at him in disapproval. What greeted his gaze was nothing but trees. Big trees. He had read about redwood trees in California that could grow up to around 300 feet or larger, these looked like regular oak trees and some even looked like evergreens. They were all massive. There definitely weren’t any trees this size anywhere in his state.

He was in a perfect circle of trimmed perfect grass in the middle of a forest of giant trees. The surrounding area was strangled with underbrush, ferns, and bushes of all kinds. There was more nature in his line of sight than he had seen in the last year.

Was someone playing a prank on him? He checked to see if someone had put VR goggles on his head, but his face was clear of any devices. Did his asshole friends dump him in the middle of nowhere as a prank?

“Real funny assholes!” Hunter yelled out. His voice was smothered by the abundant vegetation around him. “Ha ha, you can fucking take me home now, not funny!”

He expected to hear the snickering of a prank well played, but there was only silence to greet his exclamation. Hunter started to get a little nervous. They wouldn’t have just dumped him in the wild, would they? How did he get here without noticing anything?

Taking stock of what was around him, he patted himself down, checking his pockets for his phone. The first thing he noticed was that he was wearing rough cotton or wool clothing. His pants had no pockets and were just a rough spun tan cloth, the same as the shirt he was wearing. The clothes fit him comfortably, but they were definitely not like anything he had in his wardrobe. He glanced behind himself and found a small leather satchel.

Hope warred with trepidation as he lunged for the bag. Hunter hoped to find a cell phone or some clue as to why he was in the middle of a forest. A large flap was the only thing holding the bag closed. Inside were a few burlap sacks and a note.

Hunter snatched the note out and unfolded it.

Hunter Ramsey,

You are hereby granted a new life in Aurelia. This is a land of struggle and opportunity for those that seek out challenges. Your life going forward is yours to develop. As per the laws of this world, you have been deposited in a random location where you can grow. Good luck adventurer. Slight modifications have been made to your body to benefit your ability. Simply follow the instructions we discussed when you were summoned and nothing should go awry.

Pray to me in times of need,

Goddess Mystra

What a load of horseshit! What kind of practical joke is this?

Hunter searched his memories of last night as best he could. The last thing he remembered was getting off of work and heading to a bar with a few coworkers. It had been a rough day, the end of the week had been a relief to his team. Hunter had started out the night with a bang and started downing shots. Everything after that is a blurry haze. He didn’t feel any different than any other day.

He definitely didn’t remember getting any instructions or meeting any new people. And he sure as shit didn’t remember someone stripping his clothes off and putting him in some medieval peasant outfit. How drunk did he get last night?

Hunter groaned loudly, pressing the note into his face in denial. He sat there for several minutes just trying to come to terms with his situation. There is no way he was going to believe he was transported to some mystical world. Someone was just playing a sick and twisted trick on him. Regardless, he was alone in the middle of the wilderness and had no clue where he was.

Huffing, he searched the sacks in the brown leather satchel. The tan bags had some unidentifiable dried meat that might have been beef. There were two of the packages with jerky inside. Moving them out of the bag, he discovered the final content of the satchel. Under everything else was a rough looking iron knife with a wooden handle. It was a straight edged blade and only slightly smaller than a Bowie knife.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this big ass knife?” He threw the meat back into the satchel, and after a moment’s thought, threw in the note as well. At the very least, he could wipe his ass with it. There was no toilet paper in sight.

Hunter turned in a circle, trying to figure out which way he was supposed to go. Every direction was overgrown. Green vines hung down from the tree branches, ferns grew thick between the trees, and thorny bushes competed for space. Moss was on several trees, both the green kind on tree trunks and the wispy gray hair looking moss that he had no name for. He slung the satchel’s strap over his head, and it hung next to his hip.

The glow of the sun was coming through the trees ahead of him. So that direction must be east. Turning left, he started walking towards the edge of the cleared circle. The north was typically more populated than the south, people hate hot weather. He figured it was as good as any direction. It was only at this point he realized that he had no shoes on. He looked down at himself, his gut made it difficult to see his feet while standing, but his toes were most definitely uncovered. Hunter was already starting to regret not going to the gym regularly. This was not going to be fun.

The walk started out fine, the ferns were annoying but moved out of his way easily enough. The vegetation only reached up to his waist. It wasn’t until he was passing by one of the bushes that he had issues. A sharp pain demanded his attention on his left foot. He fell to his right side trying to get away from whatever had hurt him. He thought a snake might have bitten him. Looking down, he saw there were thorns sticking out of the roots of the bush he was passing. His foot had been speared by an inch long thorn just now.

“Jesus Christ that hurts!” He pulled his foot up to inspect it. There was a drop of blood pooling right between the balls of his big toe and little toes. “Note to self, avoid the bushes like the plague.”

His stomach started growling. He hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, unless you counted his liquid dinner of tequila last night. “I bet this jerky tastes like a shoe, that would be just my luck today.”

Rummaging around, he pulled out one of the sacks and loosened the tie holding it shut. Inside was what he would consider to be about a pound of dried meat. He had two such sacks, and it should last him long enough to walk back to civilization. There was no way he could be that far away from town. Whoever left him here would have had to carry his fat ass through this thick undergrowth.

Pulling out a piece, he inspected it. It was a dull unappetizing brown color. It didn’t even look like food. Grimacing, he placed it in his mouth. Hunter was genuinely surprised when his saliva met the dried meat. It seemed to melt in his mouth and a massive amount of salty, savory flavor exploded onto his taste buds.

“Mmm,” he groaned. “Hot damn, at least one thing is going well for me!”

Hunter went a little overboard. Before he could think better of it, half of the first bag of his limited supply of food was gone. With a good meal in his belly, strength and energy flooded through him. His foot even stopped throbbing so badly. He shrugged it off and started trudging his way north again.

The forest was massive and so congested with trees that he couldn’t see farther than 20 or 30 feet ahead of himself. Despite the danger of the unknown, he continued to plod along. Hunter was completely oblivious to anything other than moving forward. Hours passed as he became more and more concerned about being lost. He started to think he was going in the wrong direction.

Hunter had continuously been surrounded by the sounds of animals moving about, not that he paid much attention. Squirrels and rabbits weren’t of much interest to him. He was more focused on getting home and out of the woods. He was starting to think that he was going in the wrong direction, but he didn’t want to back track and waste too much daylight. Being stuck out here in the middle of the night sounded like the worst possible scenario.

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After half a day of hiking, he was starting to get really thirsty. He was going to have to search for water soon if he didn’t reach a road. Hunter could only hope that whatever source of water he found didn’t make him sick. He didn’t have a way to boil water or even start a fire. At least the temperature outside was relatively moderate. It was a nice 70 degrees in the sun and actually pretty comfortable in the short sleeve peasant’s shirt he was wearing.

Despite the nice temperature, Hunter was sweating like a pig. He was unused to this extent of exertion. His clothes were getting soaked. After his binge from last night and the sweating today, he figured he could get dehydrated pretty easily. He stopped for a few minutes to listen and see if he could hear the sound of running water. A river or any moving source of water would be perfect for a quick drink.

Straining his ears he found no signs of water, instead he could distantly hear rustling behind him. Turning around, Hunter couldn’t see any movement or visible animals. Deciding not to risk it, he turned and started walking as fast as he could. He didn’t feel like he had the energy to jog for any length of time with his heavy frame. He’d save his energy for if he had to run from a bear or a wolf.

He continued like this for around an hour before stopping to catch his breath. His feet were aching, he had a stitch in his ribs, and the sun was starting to sink on his left. Hunter was really starting to get worried. His expectation to find civilization had slowly been fading over time. He knew he wasn’t moving at an extraordinary pace, but he had still been walking for most of the day. He should have been able to make at least 10 miles in that time. The trees weren’t thinning, there was no sign of a road or a cell phone tower, and there was no end in sight.

Hunter would need to find a place to stop for the night and rest before the sun set, leaving him with no light. He didn’t like the idea of spending the night in a random forest in the middle of nowhere, but at least he had food. If he could find some water tomorrow, he should be okay for at least a few days. Someone would come looking for him eventually, right?

Who the fuck am I kidding? Nobody is going to come looking unless the douche-bags who left me here send someone. And now I’m miles away from where I was dropped off, they won’t be able to find me in this mess.

He started searching for a place he could sleep, a hollow in a tree or at least a clear patch of ground.

A branch cracked behind him resoundingly. Hunter spun quickly towards the sound, dreading the worst. He quickly looked around himself and found a tree with branches low enough he thought he could climb at least part way up. Sidling closer to the tree, he continued to stare at the ferns and bushes where the noise came from.

Grabbing the lowest branch, he prepared to haul his chubby ass up. “Show yourself you fucking asshole! I swear to god if that is you, Paul, I’m gonna stab you and leave your body out here!”

The ferns started shifting and parting in a wave toward him. Whatever was coming, it was staying low to the ground and wasn’t taller than waist height. It was completely obscured by the thick vegetation. Hunter's heart started galloping in his chest. The stalker was not Paul.

A large triangular shaped head parted the ferns and slowly slid into his view. Behind the head was a lot of loose skin. Yellow slitted were locked on to him. Powerful legs covered in scales followed the head. The creature was squat like a komodo dragon but way bigger and with deadly looking claws digging into the ground. The body and tail followed that, it must have been 8 feet long from snout to the tip of its tail. Its body was fully covered in a thick hide with dull, dark green scales. The creature’s mouth opened wide, almost seeming to unhinge, and the loose skin around its neck lifted into a tall purple fin around its head.

The giant lizard hissed piercingly and something flew out of its mouth. A glob hit the tree next to Hunter. A quick glance showed some oozing liquid that was starting to smoke on the bark of the tree and was hissing like a strong acid.

Hunter needed no further incentive to move faster than he ever had before. He scrambled up the tree like a pro climber, going as high as he could and hoping that the reptile couldn’t climb as well.

“What the fuck! This isn’t Dungeons and Dragons, you fucking prick. Never seen a god-damn komodo dragon that could spit acid before! Did you grow up next to a nuclear power plant?” Hunter hunkered down on the large branch, gripping it with all his strength. He was straddled on the rough wood, hugging it for dear life. “Take your Godzilla looking ass and fuck off!”

The creature clawed at the tree and stretched its body as high as it could reach, but it was too heavy and unwieldy of a creature to climb, thankfully.

“I can sit here all day motherfucker!” He taunted the angry creature. It stared at him with dead eyes and started circling around the tree.

Hunter was starting to seriously question where he was, he had never heard of any animal like this before. Maybe he should have taken the note a little more seriously. He had read books and watched TV shows like this, but this was real life. People don’t just fucking teleport into monster ridden forests. And most heroes in his situation would have some spiffy power or serious weapons to start out with. He literally was the same fat office jockey he was yesterday, a brisk walk was tiring him out.

He closed his eyes and decided to just wait. Eventually, this thing would grow bored or hungry and find someone else to bother. He shifted, trying to get as comfortable as possible, wedging the satchel under his head for a pillow.

Hours passed like this. The sun went down and everything went pitch dark in the forest. The only way Hunter could track the monster stalking him was the rustling sounds as it moved around.

Time passed slowly and Hunter grew more and more sleepy with nothing to do but wait. After a time, he must have passed out, laying with his arms and legs hanging off that branch. Dreams flowed randomly through his mind that night. Some of his dreams featured a never ending flight away from giant lizards, others involved an open bar and having a good time. The last dream he had that night was of a stunning woman talking about eating and binding… or bondage. He wasn’t really sure which, but if it was with her, he would jump at the chance!

He woke with a start and the sensation of falling. Flailing his arms and legs, he caught a branch and slowed his fall. His grip wasn’t strong enough, so he ended up swinging ass over tea kettle and landed straight on his back. The air exploded out of his lungs and his vision went white for an instant. While he struggled to breath, he looked around himself. He expected to be attacked at any moment.

Air flooded into his frozen lungs, and he gasped for a while like a fish out of water. “Great fucking way to start the day!” He rolled onto his hands and knees slowly. His stomach decided to take that moment to start growling loudly at him.

Hunter was starting to consider that he might not get out of this forest as quickly as he first thought. He would need to ration the food he had and start looking for more if he couldn’t find any people today. It was right about then that his dry mouth and throat started aching and demanding fluids.

Okay water first. He would die of thirst long before food became a problem. With that in mind, Hunter took out a few pieces of his depleted supply of jerky and munched on it while walking in the direction he figured was north again.

Several more hours passed as Hunter tried to ignore the rumbling of his stomach and the soreness of his parched throat. The forest seemed endless and with the wide variety of fauna, it was almost impossible to tell one part of the forest from another. It seemed unnatural that so many different plants and trees could all be growing in the same place.

At one point Hunter got so desperate he tried to suck some moisture out of some leaves. He ended up with nothing but nausea for his efforts and a bad taste in his mouth.

Around noon, when he was feeling like he would never find water, a beautiful sound entered his ears. A tinkling, gurgling, sweet sound of water flowing over stones.

Just what the doctor ordered, baby!

Hunter turned and ran, which by run he meant he jogged as fast as he could in the direction of the sound. He came to a section of the woods that were parted by a slow moving ‘river’? It honestly was more like a creek. At that particular moment, Hunter didn’t care if it was a muddy puddle.

Laying down next to the bank, he stuck his whole face into the cool liquid. Half drowned and in ecstasy, he drank his fill.

Maybe today wasn’t going to be as bad as he thought.

He had to jinx himself, didn’t he?

Vicious snarling and roars echoed out as a giant wolf and an absolutely massive feline were suddenly battling it out right in front of Hunter across the small creek. Tree branches were breaking off and flying from their fast, powerful movements. Blood and pieces of bark from errant claw swipes went in all directions.

Hunter was stunned and couldn’t take his eyes off the battle. The sheer destructiveness and blood-thirst of these creatures had him frozen in terror.

Both animals were getting seriously bloodied in the fight. The black wolf had claw marks all over its body, and the yellow tiger was bleeding from several bites taken out of its legs and neck. While he watched this spectacle he noticed the wolf was standing its ground firmly as if defending the area. The tiger was circling and attacking from multiple directions. Hunter looked closer, and between the wolf’s legs was a small pup. It was defending its young from the tiger monster.

He honestly wasn’t sure who was winning, it looked like both of them were taking serious injuries. It wasn’t going to go well for either one.

I need to get out of here before I become collateral damage or someone’s next meal.

Even as he scrambled to get back into the trees to find some place to hide, he heard a heart-wrenching sound. Over the sound of the snarls, barks, and hisses he heard a terrible yowl, a cry of fear from the pup. He almost turned back, but survival instincts pushed him to find safety.

He definitely wasn’t in Kansas anymore, he doubted he was anywhere near the United States even. It was then he fully accepted it. He most likely wasn’t even on Earth anymore. How was he the unlucky schmuck to get tossed into this hellhole?

Hunter wasn’t just going to roll over and die. He would find a way out of here. He was going to live to give that goddess a big two finger Fuck You!