Amber fell into the black and blue light.

She felt a twisting, compressing sensation as a rainbow of colors blazed to life, and then she was propelled through another twist of black and blue light.

Amber landed in a scene of chaos.

She was in a room constructed of stone blocks, with three men, and a large fluffy cat. And a body.

One of the men, who was impossibly large, was leaning over the body, shining some kind of weird light on it. Another one, dark-haired and disheveled, was dumping some sort of liquid on the body. And the third man was sitting peacefully next to the body, looking for all the world like he was meditating.

The cat was yowling and pacing beside the body.

"I've gone insane," Amber said as she staggered to her feet, and backed up against the wall.

The man who was meditating opened his eyes and leaned forward, laying a hand flat on the body.

Looking more closely, Amber swallowed hard, willing herself not to vomit.

It looked like the body had been torn apart from the inside somehow. As if their bones had exploded.

Suddenly, a golden glow surrounded the corpse, and the body started to pull itself together, bones twisting and straightening as they regrew, tendons and ligaments reattaching, and finally muscle and flesh mending under patches of skin that expanded sickeningly to cover the exposed flesh.

She turned her head and vomited.

This was the worst trip ever.

She fell to her knees as she kept heaving.

When she didn't have anything left, and her stomach had finally caught up to that fact, she staggered back to her feet, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her bright orange jumpsuit.

She turned and looked back at the body and gasped as she saw Bob, whole and healthy, although covered in blood and... bits of...

Amber choked back another dry heave.

Bob stood up and reached forward to clasp the shoulder of the meditation man as he said something in a foreign language, before turning to address the giant, and finally the dark-haired man.

Amber leaned back against the wall as Bob turned to face her.

He scooped up the cat, which looked like a larger and possibly fluffier version of the one in the picture on his desk, and said, "Hello Amber."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bob opened his eyes with no small difficulty. He rubbed at them and discovered they had been gummed shut with blood.

He grimaced and took stock.

His body was intact, and while it ached, everything seemed to be intact.

He didn't have that terrible tearing feeling running through his body anymore, which was nice.

Bob stood up slowly and then smiled at Austan who was regarding him steadily.

"Thank you," Bob said sincerely, "I'm certain I wouldn't have made it without your help."

Bob reached out and patted Austan's shoulder in the Thayland fashion.

"Vi'Radia must be looking out for you," Austan replied with a smile, "because that was the worst thing I've ever seen."

Bob turned to Thidwell and said, "Good news, my matrix has been repaired."

Thidwell rumbled a reply, "No one ever says good news without following up with bad."

"True," Bob conceded, "the bad news, if such it be, is that I'm level five again."

Kelli shook his head and smiled as he said, "I don't even want to know how that happened, I'm just glad you're alive."

"Me too," Bob said dryly.

He reached down and scooped up Monroe, who wasn't very happy about the proceedings thus far.

He caught a splash of orange out of the corner of his eye, and turned to see Amber, looking much less put together than normal in an orange jumpsuit.

"Hello Amber," Bob said.

She gaped at him for a moment, then muttered, "This is the worst hallucination ever."

Bob let a cold grin pass over his face as he said, "Not a hallucination."

"But you're dead!" Amber practically shouted, "and I'm going to end up in prison because you were in that stupid hallway when the stupid accelerator blew up!"

Bob tilted his head. Orange jumpsuit, no make up, willingly stepped into the portal.

"Well, I guess I know why you willingly accepted the summons," Bob said to himself.

He shook his head and equipped his armor from his inventory before sliding a calmer Monroe onto the Makres.

He clapped his hands to refocus Amber's attention.

"Long story made very, very brief," he said sternly, "the explosion blew me into another dimension. The fine folks you see here are some of the ones who found me."

"You're on a different planet, in a different dimension, where the population is sitting at roughly paleocene levels, and technology is stuck at the bronze age," Bob continued, "and humanity is under constant threat of extinction from certain... environmental factors."

Amber stared at him, slack-jawed.

Bob sighed and stepped forward before pinching her upper arm, hard.

"Ow!" Amber yelped, "that hurt!"

"Yes," Bob said with a tone of frustration, "but you need to understand that you aren't dreaming, and this is real."

"I'm going to have my friend Kelli here," Bob gestured towards Kelli, "stuff the local language into your head like a Thanksgiving turkey, then I'll hand you some of the local currency."

Amber looked confused.

Bob motioned towards Kelli and said to him, in Thaylan, "Upload the language into her."

Kelli nodded and stared intently at Amber as his hand dipped into his pouch.

"Why is he staring at me?" Amber asked in near hysterics.

"As I said," Bob said impatiently, "Kelli is about to implant the local language into your mind," he shook his head and finished by saying, "when the box pops up and asks if you accept, I recommend you do so, as I'm not paying him to do it twice."

"Also," Bob said as he reached into his satchel, pulling out a pouch and tossing it to Amber, who reflexively caught it, "in that you'll find a hundred and ten small, blueish quartz-like crystals. They are used as currency here. Sixty of them will feed and house you for a month. The other fifty will get you started towards a path."

Amber peered into the pouch, then looked back at Bob and asked almost frantically, "What are you talking about?"

Bob shrugged and said, "If you can't be bothered to listen, I'm not going to repeat myself. You can ask the people around here any questions you'd like once Kelli is done, although," Bob grinned coldly and jerked his head towards Thidwell who was watching the conversation, "I'd avoid bothering the big guy, he's the head motherfucker in charge around here, and he isn't much for small talk."

Amber gasped her hands started swiping at the air.

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Bob glanced over and saw Kelli rubbing his eyes.

"What the hell is this?" Amber screeched waving her hands at what Bob assumed was a system window.

"Just say yes, or better yet, think it really hard," Bob said calmly.

Amber shouted out, "Yes, I accept?!" and then fell to her knees clutching her head and whimpering.

Bob winced in sympathy before he could stop himself. He remembered that sensation.

"Great news, you now speak Thaylan," Bob said, in Thaylan, "which is the lingua franca of Thayland the place you've found yourself."

"As I said," Bob continued, "Thidwell is the M.F.I.C., as the head of the local Adventurers Guild, and the Curator of Holmstead's dungeon, which may not mean anything to you just yet, but you should absolutely be afraid of him."

Thidwell smiled in pleasure at that statement.

"Kelli," Bob gestured to him, "is the gentlemen who just blew your mind and provided you with the ability to speak the language. Be nice to him," Bob instructed.

Kelli raised a single hand in a wave before returning it to rubbing his temples.

"And finally, Austan here," Bob tilted his head towards Austan, "is my favorite priest of Vi'Radia, and an all-around good guy. If you're mean to him, everyone will hate you."

Austan shook his head and smiled at Bob before saying, "The light of Vi'Radia illuminate your path, Ms. Amber."

Bob gave the room a general nod and said, "I'm going to go see if I can catch Harv, Elli, and Bailli, let them know I survived."

With that Bob left the room, reaching up to rub Monroe's ears as he went.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Amber knelt on the floor her head pounding as she watched Bob walk out of the room.

The giant, who was rather frightening, looked her over, grunted, and strode out as well.

Kelli, who had somehow copied an entire language into her head, gave her an awkward smile, and said "I'm sure you have some questions."

The serene one, Austan, walked over to her and waved a hand in her direction, engulfing her in a golden glow.

Amber staggered to her feet in panic, then paused her eyes wide as she realized that the bruises and aches she'd been suffering from ever since she'd been arrested and placed in that cell had disappeared.

"That should set you to rights," Austan said pleasantly, "If you ever need healing, just head for the top of the Dungeon, I'll be at the entrance most days," he finished before gracing her with a smile and heading out of the room as well.

Kelli broke the silence by asking, "Would you like something to eat, or maybe something to drink?"

Amber nodded carefully.

"Follow me then," Kelli said, "we'll head up to the tavern and I'll grab some breakfast, it's rather early yet, but Bob was suffering more than a little, even though he tried to hide it, so no one complained about being up and about at dawn, even though I know that I'm not alone in my desire to sleep in a bit."

Kelli rambled on as he led her out of the door, down a hallway, and up a flight of stairs, "So, Bob doesn't really like to talk about his world that much, although he does let things slip sometimes, and of course I did read his mind a bit when we first met, so I have a sort of general overview of how your world works," Kelli appeared to have mastered the art of speaking without needing to pause for breath, "it would probably be easier if Bob explained things, but I think he's still a little bitter about, you know," Kelli hesitated a moment as he opened the door into the tavern before plowing on, "you causing the explosion that hit him so hard it shoved him clear into another dimension and all."

Kelli guided her to a seat at a round table with four chairs, one of the dozens in what looked for all the world like a medieval tavern.

"So, welcome to the Adventurers Guild," Kelli said proudly as he gestured around, "this is the tavern, and honestly it's where most of the Adventurers spend their time in the Guild, unless of course they're not local, in which case they rent rooms."

A handsome young man approached, and Kelli gave him a quick smile as he said, "Eggs and bacon for me Theo," before glancing at Amber and continuing, "And for our guest the same?"

Amber shook her head and looked up at Theo as she asked, "What do you have that's vegan?"

Theo mouthed the word vegan and looked a Kelli quizzically.

Kelli shrugged helplessly and looked at Amber as he asked, "What does vegan mean? There are a few words that don't translate very well."

"Vegan means food that doesn't have any animal products," Amber said slowly, "no milk or butter or eggs, and certainly no meat or lard," she shuddered.

Theo stared at her for a few seconds and was mirrored by Kelli.

"I could get you a salad without any hardboiled eggs or meat?" Theo offered hesitantly.

"That would be great," Amber replied, which gave Theo the opportunity he appeared to be looking for as he fled towards the kitchens.

"So is that an allergy sort of thing?" Kelli asked sympathetically, "Bob never mentioned anything like that, but then again, he doesn't have any allergies or at least none that he's admitted," Kelli continued, "is that sort of thing common in your world? Being allergic to animal products that is."

Amber shook her head and replied, "No, I'm not allergic, I just refuse to contribute to any action that would harm an animal."

Kelli looked at her strangely for a second then said slowly, "But we don't hurt the chickens or cows that we gather our milk and eggs from," he said carefully, "and the meat we serve comes exclusively from monsters so that really doesn't apply there either."

Amber shook her head again and said, "That's... not really important, although I'd be glad to revisit the topic when I'm not quite so unsure of my current environment."

She took a deep breath and asked what was to her, the big question.

"Where am I?"

Kelli gave her a sheepish grin as he replied, "Sorry, I tend to get off topic sometimes," he continued, "You are in Holmstead, a small town in the northeast of the Kingdom of Greenwold."

"And the blue box that appeared in front of me like some Augmented Reality game asking if I would let you transfer your language to me?" Amber asked tersely.

"I utilized ritual magic to cast a spell that let me share our language with you," Kelli said happily.

"Magic," Amber said in disbelief.

"Yes," Kelli replied hesitantly.

"Almost everyone picks one spell or another," Kelli explained, "there's something useful for just about everything."

"Really?" Amber said in a skeptical tone that was completely lost on Kelli.

"Oh my yes," Kelli gushed, "if you're planning to raise crops, the Plant school is a no brainer, and if you plan to raise cattle or chickens, or anything really, the Animal school is too useful to discount," he continued on happily, "if you want to be a smith, Elemental Earth and Elemental Fire are perfect, wheres a woodsman will likely take both Plant and Animal."

"You name the profession, I can tell you what magic they'll likely have," Kelli said proudly, "although of course the most prolific and varied of all magic use comes from Adventurers."

Amber shook her head. This guy just didn't quit.

"And what are 'Adventurers'?" she asked.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bob stalked into the tavern, dripping wet and shivering.

Thidwell had caught up to him in the hallway, and wordlessly conjured a swirling vortex of water that cleaned the blood and viscera off of him.

Somehow, he managed to completely soak Bob, and leave Monroe suspiciously dry.

He was going to take it as another sign that Thidwell couldn't be completely evil, as he obviously harbored hidden affection for Monroe.

Bob sat down between Elli and Bailli, sliding Monroe down onto the table to allow for the most efficient and effective delivery of kitty affection.

His three friends took in his soaking wet condition, and as one shrugged it off. They'd seen odder things.

"You all better?" Bailli asked with a bright smile as she reached out to play with Monroe's toe beans.

"No more matrix damage," Bob said.

"And yet," Harv said quietly, "you don't seem that happy."

Bob blew out a breath. The downside to spending time with people is that they got to know you. Although it was also supposed to be the upside.

"Seeing Amber just sort of brought it all back," Bob admitted, "all the bullshit I had to put up with over there, not to mention the fact that she stole my work, fucked it up, and then blasted me into another dimension."

Elli nodded and reached awkwardly across himself to pat Bob on the shoulder, his other hand having been grappled by Monroe who was giving it an experimental nibble.

"Leave all that in the Dungeon," he advised, "you're here now, and we're glad to have you."

"Truth," Harv said with a nod.

"It is," Bailli said as she stroked Monroe's back, having slipped out of Monroe's clutches when he expressed his displeasure at having his toes toyed with.

Bob reached out and carefully rubbed Monroe's ruff.

"I shouldn't let it get to me," he said, "and I probably shouldn't have dumped her on Kelli," he nodded towards the table where Kelli and Amber were seated, "but while I know that I'd be a better conveyor of information, I don't think I could keep my personal animus out of it."

"Just give that bitch the details to the laborer path and call it done," Bailli said as she reluctantly ceased petting Monroe, Theo having arrived with breakfast.

Bob couldn't help but smile. Bailli had been wonderfully supportive once she'd heard of his plan to summon the woman who had almost killed him. Apparently, she had a vicious streak.

"So, are you going to take a break and back off a bit?" Harv asked, "I know you pushed damn hard this past week."

Bob shook his head and said, "There were some... complications."

"But your matrix is repaired, right?" Bailli asked.

"It is," Bob said, "but in the process of repairing my matrix because I couldn't take a path, I was somehow de-leveled back down to level five."

Harv shook his head, "I've never heard of anything like that," he chuckled, "only you Bob."

"Eh," Elli said, as he scratched Monroe's chin in an attempt to free his hand, "you'll be back up in no time, especially now that you aren't suffering from crippling mana issues, and you have a path."

"Did you take the Endless Swarm Path?" Bailli asked.

"No," Bob said slowly, "I took a broader arcane path."

Harv smiled at him and said, "You'll do just fine."

Elli nodded and chimed in, "You made it level nineteen once already," he shrugged.

Bob nodded and waved to Theo, indicating he'd like some breakfast.

"Yeah," Bob said, "I think I'll be fine."

'Status.'

Name Bob Level 5 Tier 5 Size 5 Armor Hardness 30 Weapon hardness 40 Str 10 Armor Style 1.02 Weapon type 1.5 Cord 10 Dodge 15 Spell casting 1.5 End 15 Int 50 Wis 30 Beauty 10 Health 100 Mana 45 Armor 51 Mana Regen 8 Damage 112.5 Spell Casting 127.5