Tap.
A finger struck the table.
Tap.
Soft flesh, flexible nails, hard wood.
Tap.
A dull sound.
Tap.
A repetitive sound.
Tap.
An angry sound.
Tap.
Liang Chen didn’t use much force, it was just a slight and repetitive tapping of his finger. And yet, a dent was already forming in the table, the edges would likely be scorched if he was a bit less careful with controlling himself.
Tap.
A good memory makes for a good day.
Tap.
We have to get Sha-Sha, he fell over!
Tap.
In sickness and in health, I wont leave you even if death do us part.
Tap.
His eyes were open, narrowed sharply. But he could still see them, hear them in the back of his mind. He’d dredged up remnant souls before, he’d gone through their wrath before. But this was the first time he had dredged up an entire city, the first time he had experienced the deaths of so many innocents, so many who didn’t even know what happened to them.
Tap.
So his finger moved, slowly bruising the table. His stomach churned, the Qi within roiled like a boiling ocean. He was angry. Then again, when was he not angry?
But this time it was worse. There was always an enemy, a sinner, a monster he could point his spear at. Naturally, there was one this time as well, but Liang Chen had no idea who it was.
The remnants contained nothing. Most died too fast, some weren’t even close, and those who could have seen anything were too twisted for Liang Chen to see anything properly in their remnants. All he had was a gleam of bug-like wings and dirty golden hair. But finding someone like that in a universe as big as this one? And finding the right one at that?
In essence, he had nothing to go on. He was wandering about blindly, his hands fumbling through the dark. So he was angry, but there was nowhere for his anger to go.
"Papa…"
A voice tickled his mind from the side, a soft and cautious touch pulling at his clothes. Eyes as blue as the sky looked at him somewhat worriedly, hair as white as snow was tied into a ponytail that hung down lifelessly, it was like looking at a whining dog’s tail.
She was careful and gentle, perhaps even uneasy. It was a stark contrast to her usual boisterous manners, where she would just run around and jump straight at him while screaming Paparan.
Was she scared of him? He rarely showed anything other than soft kindness in front of her so it wasn’t impossible. Was she worried about him? That was equally possible, she was young but that didn’t mean that she was stupid, he wouldn’t be surprised if she noticed and knew more than she let on.
"Haaa…"
Whatever the case was, he really was a bit of a failure as a father if he let his daughter, adoptive or not, end up like this in front of him. His finger finally ceased its relentless assault of the table so that he could lift up Lan Yun and place her on his lap.
Did she take it as a sign that he was doing a bit better so it was fine to be a bit more normal? Or did she think that he needed consoling? Whatever the case was, she did her best to wrap her small arms around chest as she rested her cheek against his chest.
"It’s not Papa’s fault, so Papa doesn’t need to be that sad…"
Softer than a whisper and gentler than the world, her voice was barely audible because of how she pressed her face against his chest.
Ah, the child was worried about the parent, he really was quite the failure. But if there was a bright side then it was that she mistook his anger as sadness. Or perhaps they were just the same emotion to her, two sides of the same coin.
His hand moved to her back, slowly stroking it as she buried her face in his chest. He thought it over for a bit, what to say, how to say it. The child was worried, how should he comfort her? Should he even comfort her to begin with? In the end, he decided that his comfort would come as a lesson.
"Little Lan, you’ll find that in life there are very few things that end up being your fault. But they’ll all be your responsibility, so talking about fault will just be a waste of time. They are your responsibility, so you must solve them. That’s all there is to it, that’s all thats bothering me."
Hypocritical, that single word swirled around in his mind. Looking for fault was a waste of time, they were good words, but they lost all strength when his current mood was caused by him doing just that.
"But it has nothing to do with Papa so it’s not your responsibility."
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Judging by her reply, it seemed like Yan Ling had told her a thing or two about what they had learned in Stormbeak City. Well, Lan Yun had been by his side for quite some time so it was also possible that she had just guessed that he would be angry for someone else again. Well, whatever the case was, he might as well keep the lesson going since she was giving him this chance.
"In some cases, that may be true."
He removed his hand from her back and placed them under her shoulders, hoisting her away from his chest and holding her up so that they could look at each other. But as he was going to speak, the person who quietly entered the kitchen while they were talking plucked Lan Yun away and stole his words.
"But Little Lan, in life there are two kinds of responsibility. One is the kind that is foisted on you, the other is the one you choose for yourself."
Yan Ling had made her way up to them, holding the young Ao Fentian close to her chest. Now that she had plucked away Lan Yun both her hands were occupied, the two children held as close and as gently as only a mother would. But her eyes were locked on Liang Chen.
"Isn’t that right?"
Cyan hair that reminded him of the gentle summer’s breeze, tied into a lively braid just like the day they first met. Sapphire eyes that sparkled like the ocean beneath the sun, oh so gentle yet oh so mischievous. Even if he was angry, she looked at him as she always did. And in turn, he could feel part of himself melt away.
"Stole my moment to shine."
A casual shake of the head and a small exhale of air, the picture of exasperation. But the corners of his lips had already started to curve up, it was warm here.
"It’s a habit, feels pretty good so I’d recommend you try it some time in the future."
Yan Ling spoke with a small chuckle, she almost always did, as she sat down. Lan Yun could sit on her lap, but Ao Fentian was too small for that so she kept holding him close, Sheng Lian coming over with a bottle of heated milk so that he could get some food. Her crimson robe and short black hair were both a bit dishevelled so she had probably just been playing with Ao Fentian.
Since Sheng Lian had made her way over, Yan Ling handed over the child and leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table, Lan Yun’s head popping up beneath hers.
"Done sorting out your thoughts?"
From jokes to straight to the point, Yan Ling really changed her tune at a pace that Liang Chen could never keep up with. But it was never unpleasant so it really seemed like she was a natural at it.
"No. But spending time thinking about fault is just a waste of time. I’ll find them, I promised that I would. After that it’ll be up to the dead to speak of fault and forgiveness."
Since he first went out of his way to teach his daughter a lesson he might as well pretend like he actually followed the same rules. He’d find the killer, then he would kill them. That was all he did, that was all he was. He found the sinners and he killed them, the darkness that ate even the night. It would be up to the dead to speak of forgiveness or regret, all he spoke of was death. It was grim, but Yan Ling seemed satisfied.
"That’s good then, your decisiveness has always been one of your charm points, it’s not like you to run around in your thoughts."
Her smile was soft and charming as she spoke, but anyone who knew what she was thinking about would consider it insane. The decisiveness she spoke of was something that dyed the land red with blood, it was a young child slowly poisoning an entire palace without thinking about any sort of backlash or retribution. That was not decisiveness.
"It’s fine to call it recklessness, that’s what people would usually call it."
He’d been called it more than once before. Reckless, careless, suicidal even. He moved without thinking, he struck without a care. He saw something that displeased him so he acted, consequences be damned. Liang Chen didn’t consider himself decisive, he was reckless. But Yan Ling simply snorted at that clarification, a hand stretching out to pinch Liang Chen’s nose.
"Yeah, well people are idiots who don’t know how to appreciate someone who’s as stubborn as a mule and as impatient as a boar."
"Blind as bats, the whole lot of them!"
Lan Yun suddenly piped up to compliment her mom’s complaint, waving her fists from underneath Yan Ling’s chin. Liang Chen felt the corners of his lips twitch as he looked at the two of them, Yan Ling had really painted their daughter in her own image.
"And here I thought you came to comfort me, not insult me."
But still, he couldn’t even feel a trace of the anger he felt earlier, it had all settled down into a nice and thick layer of ice in his chest. In this place, he could be a bit more peaceful, he could take a step away from the man he chose to become. He could be… normal.
"Bah, say that when you stop smiling."
Yan Ling snorted triumphantly. No matter how much Liang Chen occasionally complained, he was always smiling. That was the expression she was after, happy and peaceful. His decisiveness and ambition were attractive, but she didn’t want that to be everything he was, so he had to smile like this when they were together, she had to protect that part of him.
"Is everyone no longer at risk of dying?"
A voice came from the entrance while they were smiling at each other, a small serpentine head poking out from the side. Yumao peeked at them from the entrance, his voice dripping with worry so false that he himself could barely hold back his laughter.
"You’re the last person I want to hear that from, you don’t even believe in those words."
Liang Chen could only roll his eyes. He had raised Yumao ever since he hatched from his egg, he knew better than anyone what sort of personality he had. They’d be lucky if Yumao wasn’t the first to egg Liang Chen into a rampage while he was angry.
Yumao’s laughter finally got the best of him, a strange-sounding chuckle escaping him as he flapped his feathery wings and flew over. His long body curled up on top of Liang Chen’s head, the snake’s scales rubbing against his scalp as he dug into his usual spot with a snicker.
"Well no, but mother said it would be funny to say it at a good time."
He should have known that it would be her fault. Yumao had been so nice and normal when he was younger. Well, normal for a beast at least. But then he learned how to talk, and Yan Ling’s influence became painfully apparent.
"You’re ruining him again."
He could only blame the source that was sitting on the other side of the table, her slender and slightly scarred finger still tracing his nose. But she simply scoffed again.
"Bah, say that when you stop smiling."
"Now you’re just repeating yourself."
"The truth can be repeated into eternity without losing its charm."
The two bickered as they always did, the small dent in the table quickly forgotten. It was warm here, it was bright here. In a place like this, even lightning could get some rest, even the one that would become the prime evil could find a measure of peace and normality.
But time moved on without halt, it never stopped for anyone. And there was always more to do, so eventually, they had to talk about what to do next.
"So, have you decided where you want to go first?"
There was technically nothing for them to do, but the number of things they were going to do was mind-numbing. They had to visit Liang Chen’s birth parents, they had to bring back the reincarnation of the family that raised him, they had to find out who else they wanted to invite to their wedding, they had to check on whatever friends and acquaintances they had. And beyond even that, there was still the war with the other Sphere, there were thousands of battlefields that they could visit. They had nothing they really needed to do, but there was no end to the number of things they were going to do.
"…I gave my word. I may be reluctant, but that’s no reason to go back on it."
His words trawled off slightly. He really was reluctant. No, saying he didn’t want to do it would be better, he saw no reason for it. But he had given his word, both to the man who was supposedly his brother and to Yan Ling. And in the end, Yan Ling wanted this because of how her own family had been, Liang Chen would not deny her that. So he sighed once more, but still accepted what had to be done.
"Haaa, let’s head to the Rahu universe, may as well get this family visit over with as soon as possible."