The demon accommodated Momo’s request like a true gentleman; which was to say that it recoiled, nearly spit her into the roaring current of teeth-gnashing monsters, and then surged upwards in a random direction. At least it appeared random until the white circle of light came into view above her. Nauseously she realized that it was an entrance—one of the undercurrent’s many one-way doors.

And yet this door, oddly, was left quite alone by the demons. While they mindlessly clawed at popular destinations like Nether New York or Shibuya, the white wonderland that lay on the other side of this portal seemed unappetizing, like the last dish at a buffet. Momo theorized that it had something to do with the soul population within. Maybe Nether Demons were attracted to large crowds? It seemed like a fair analysis. Monsters, as far as the myths went, did tend to enjoy gobbling up as many innocents as possible.

Then again, Momo had learned better than to assume demons in this universe would function anything like their Earthly mythological equivalents. It could be equally possible that they just hadn’t ended up swimming in this direction. After all, she knew better than most that behavior is typically the product of laziness. Momo lived by that doctrine.

The monster made its tea kettle noise again and looked at her with imploring, almost adorable eyes. Momo gave it a firm rub on the top of its oily gills and smiled.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Then, realizing it was about to follow her in, continued, “I don’t know if it’s going to be safe for you in there. I think it’s better if you wait here.”

It blinked at her, uncertain. She worried her lip between her teeth, pitying it in return. To the demon, living life consciously, without being driven by a desire for unending meaningless consumption, must have been like waking up from a coma.

“Here.” She carefully peeled her own demon off her shoulders, handing it off to its newfound cousin. She smiled delicately. “You two, learn to take care of eachother.”

***

The Vacant Edge expanded before her like milk froth on the top of a coffee cup. The horizon was white and frilly, dotted every so often with small black clouds. She landed on one of those dark masses, finding a strangely placed coffee table sitting atop it. The coffee table was littered with mail; mail which spilled over onto the surface of the cloud, and trailed backward, toward a shimmering rift— another scar in the Nether.

Another portal? Was that where Valerica was hiding?

She would investigate it, but not yet. Inspecting the top of the table, Momo found one letter of particular interest laid flat there. Her eyes widened as she skimmed the text. This was a notice of her death. She had been right— Venice had played dirty. He’d killed her in cold blood at the very moment where it was still possible.

Her hands tightened into fists.

That jerk.

A jerk that still had her goddamn gerbil.

She sighed, and untensed her muscles. Just as she was about to reluctantly head toward the tear in the Nether, a black flash of light blinded her. Something had emerged into the Vacant Edge, not from the secret chamber to her left, but from elsewhere. Momo’s body went rigid as she expected the worst. The Nether Demons had finally arrived…

Instead, a long, dramatic sigh. “By Morgana, that little devil was evasive. You would not believe the amount of hellfire I had to rinse him with until his body finally stopped moving.”

The smoke cleared, and— not a Nether Demon— but Valerica appeared in its wake. The Lesser Goddess herself, dressed in a purple satin dress, her hair undone and disheveled atop her shoulders. In her right hand was a red, engorged, still-beating heart.

In her left hand was a skeletal gerbil.

Momo would have been otherwise overjoyed to see Biscuit in good health, but…

“Valerica,” she gasped. “Who did you kill?”

“Momo! I thought you were a cloud!”

“Why were you talking to a cloud—?”

Stolen novel; please report.

Valerica shut her up by enveloping Momo in a cold embrace. Not metaphorically cold, of course, but physically— the woman was an icicle.

“No one, unfortunately. Believe me I tried,” she sighed, pulling back. She placed the heart on the table and didn’t seem to care as its arteries bloodied the unopened envelopes. “As you can see, the blasted thing is still beating. Kyros’s doing, I suppose. The cat’s put some aura of protection on it. I can’t even pierce the thing with my fingernails.”

Trying not to visualize Valerica bursting the organ with her acrylics, Momo turned away from the table and swallowed. “I take it this belongs to Venice?”

“You’d be correct. Equal and opposite punishment for what he did to your poor heart,” Valerica said, frowning as she cupped Momo’s cheek affectionately. “We’re lucky he removed the gerbil here in the Nether, where time marches on so slowly. If he’d done it down on Alois you would have been dead in minutes— I was deeply serious when I said this little fiend is the only reason you can keep on chugging along.”

Momo regarded the small creature, which was eyeing her with keen interest from Valerica’s palm. He was rather stout for a gerbil, a consequence of his Tank class, Momo theorized.

Staring at it, she found herself at a loss at how to thank a creature that had helped her so profoundly. She settled on taking one of its small hands into her own and shaking it gently.

“Thanks for keeping me alive, big guy. I know it must have been a lot of work.”

Biscuit gnawed at her finger in reply. Valerica tsked at him.

“Naughty thing. No chewing on your master. Come now Momo, I’m going to put him back inside of your chest cavity,” Valerica said, in a way that was way too nonchalant for the subject matter. “Any more sitting around and he’ll start biting. He yearns for the wheel.”

Momo yelped and took a large step back. “Wait. Now that I’m a goddess, aren’t I okay without him? I can transform into something with a functioning heart while I’m on the mortal plane using [Death’s Many Forms], and while I’m here, I’m safe.”

“I would not say you are safe, darling,” Valerica huffed. “Any one of us is liable to be consumed by a Nether Demon at any given time. Even the gods themselves.”

“Well, sure. But a gerbil won’t help defend me from that.”

“It wouldn’t not help.”

Momo put her hands on her hips. “I have more than ten Intelligence points now. You can’t stump me with double negatives.” Valerica was about to interrupt her again when Momo brashly continued, throwing up her hand. “I’m not putting the rodent back in my chest. It deserves to run at its own pace, on a nice big wheel, free-range. End of story.”

Valerica opened her mouth, closed it, then gave Momo a broad smile.

“Alright, then, my goddess.”

***

“You know, we’re finally colleagues now. Equals.”

Valerica had cleared off the table, which meant shoving all the letters to the floor and watching as they descended into the white oblivion below. Momo had asked her if she was concerned about not responding to all that urgently labeled mail, to which she just laughed. She had then served them tea, two cups of steaming oolong, and offered Momo a seat.

“I guess you’re right,” Momo said, blinking in disbelief. They were technically at the same rank now. Lesser Goddess and Lesser Goddess. “It doesn’t feel like it, though.”

“Doesn’t it?” Valerica blew lightly on her tea. “Why not?”

Momo licked her lips, feeling suddenly very nervous.

“Because…”

She clenched her hand around the stem of the teacup.

Because I still don’t know how to say no to you when it actually matters.

“Because I’m sure you don’t even flinch while you’re tearing out some man’s literal beating heart,” Momo said instead. “And I can barely tolerate punching someone.”

“Oh please. You will get there eventually.”

“I’m not sure I will.”

Valerica smirked over her teacup. “Don’t be so sure. I never asked you if you thought you could become mayor of a city, then a queen of a country, then an all-powerful goddess— all in the span of a few delicious months, by the way— but I’m sure if I asked you directly at the time it would have been a firm no. So. Underestimation is the poison of the soul.”

“Well, yes, but…” Momo shook her head. “I actually wanted those things. Sort of. Kind of. Subliminally. I like solving problems for people. Making their days better and stuff like that. I’m not sure I ever want to enjoy ripping a man’s heart from his chest. That just doesn’t— well— that doesn’t do much for me. Personally.”

Valerica’s face fell unusually grim.

“And you think it does for me? You think I take enjoyment from that kind of thing?”

Momo felt suddenly insane. “No offense, but, don’t you?”

Valerica roared, breaking from her bit. “Of course I do!”

“God. Don’t frighten me like that. I was about to have an existential crisis about my ability to read people,” Momo mumbled, letting out a sigh of relief. “You idiot.”

“Idiot? Oh darling, that’s blasphemous.”

“Blasphemy masphemy.”

“Hmph. I could smite you for talking like that. Make the sky rain rats. Give you and your first born scabies.”

“And I’d just do the same to you. Equal levels now, right?”

“Sure, you could. But you wouldn’t. Because you’re too nice. Oh, and you’re too scared of me. I live in your nightmares. Well– I live in everyone’s nightmares now, but yours especially. Isn’t that right, darling?”

Momo flushed, but refused to lose this proxy war.

“I’ve met scarier people at the train station.”

“I highly doubt that, also…”

Valerica pursed her lips.

“I haven’t the faintest clue what a train station is.”

At that— the dam broke. Momo cackled. Valerica gave her a broad, beautiful, uninhibited smile; the kind where Momo could see her two canines peek out from over her bottom lip. And for a moment, they just felt like two people. Two simple, stupid people.

“So,” Valerica said, clapping her hands together and rising from her seat. “Want to see where I’m keeping the demons?"