Now that she was no longer solely dependent on Tiriana for communication, Sera was forced to admit that she had a problem that needed to be confronted, even at the risk of angering her host. Or worse, she knew, considering the prevailing opinion on the topic in many places on Earth.
She hadn’t had her medications in days now, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she had before she began to detransition.
Going through transitioning the first time had been hard enough. That awkward early period where it was obvious and she couldn’t pass had been hard on Sera’s mental health, and going through the same process backwards had the potential to break her. Under normal circumstances she would never admit to being trans so openly, preferring to pass under the radar and live her life the way she looked, but given enough time it was going to become obvious anyway, and hopefully this advanced magical society had a solution to the issue.
So it was that the following morning, after breakfast, she decided to broach the subject carefully.
“Can I ask some questions about the culture here?” she began after they had dealt with the dishes. Tiriana cocked her head curiously, but nodded. “Well, to start off, how tolerant are the people here?”
“Tolerant of what?” the elf asked, seeming confused. Apparently her effort to be vague had leaned a bit too vague.
“Well, differences, I suppose. Like…race, religion, gender, sexuality, opinions, anything like that,” she expanded, burying the lede a bit in the middle. Tiriana hummed in understanding.
“I’m sure it varies with some of the other species, but elven and atlantean society- they’re very integrated these days- is pretty accepting. Elf men and women aren’t very dimorphic, so we never developed strict categories one could deviate from, and the atlantean pantheon has always taught that acceptance promotes unity,” she explained, now understanding the question but not quite seeing where it was coming from. “I suppose there’s not much diversity of religion, but it’s hard to have much deviation when one’s gods are demonstrably real and any cleric or priest can ask for clarification on doctrine.”
“So there are no taboos regarding sexuality or gender nonconformity?” Sera ventured, slightly more confident in a positive reception now but still not willing to come right out with it just yet.
“Mm, I wouldn’t say that,” Tiriana admitted, momentarily disheartening Sera. “Incest and relationships between children and adults are an exception due to the harm they cause.”
“That’s reasonable,” Sera said, stalling. “The reason I ask is…well, I’m trans.”
“I know.” The elf smiled apologetically.
“What? How? When?” Sera felt a bit frantic, fearing she’d done something to get clocked.
“Ah, it was when I circulated your mana. I could feel where the mana flowed at that time. I didn’t think to warn you because…well, I had no idea it might be important. And since you hadn’t told me yourself, I erred on the side of caution and assumed you would say something if you felt I should know.”
Sera felt her face redden in a mix of humiliation and violation. She shot up from her chair and backed away from the table.
“You should have told me! Oh my god, I must look like a joke to you right now.”
In a calmer mood she might have realized that last part was surely not true, given the culture Tiriana had described, but Sera was lost in a mire of emotions she didn’t know how to untangle. Her breathing quickened as a panic attack came on and she collapsed to the floor, shoving aside a bench on the way down and narrowly avoiding striking her head on the table behind her.
“Oh- high elves, I’m so sorry, I completely misread the situation,” Tiriana apologized as she rushed to Sera’s side as the Earth woman began to cry while struggling to breathe. “Hey, shh, shh, it’ll be all right, just breathe, you have nothing to worry about, I promise.” The elf knelt down beside Sera and asked permission to touch her; although Sera smacked her hand away at first, she nodded her assent a moment later and dropped her hands.
For several long moments they sat there on the floor, Tiriana holding Sera and patting her on the back, making calming motions with her other hand. Slowly, Sera’s sobbing slowed, and her breathing came back under her control. A part of her realized that the panic attack had been unwarranted, but emotions didn’t work on logic. Realizing Tiriana knew, when she preferred no one know if possible, had simply toppled the fragile jenga tower supporting her emotional state after so long worrying about how the conversation would go.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
“Are you okay?” Tiriana asked and Sera nodded repeatedly. “Alright. Let’s talk then. I apologize for not taking your feelings into account, but I do have good news for you, okay?”
After one last shuddering breath, Sera stood, wiping her face clean on her sleeve. Her eyes were surely red now, but there was little she good do about that or the flush on her skin.
“Go ahead,” she prompted once they had both taken their seats again.
“Gender dysphoria is well studied here, and the human pantheon has always provided their clerics with miracles for treating it, as with any other illness. There should be measures our cleric can take to assist you, though they won’t be nearly as comprehensive as an Archcleric of Gender would have access to.”
“Of…Gender? There’s a god with gender for a domain?” Sera asked, incredulity thick in her tone.
“Right, I suppose I never explained much about the pantheon. Well, it would be a digression and Vivi could explain better than I, but for now, suffice it to say that the human pantheon’s domains are based around human culture.”
“And…what would an Archcleric of Gender be able to do for me?”
“Change your biological sex entirely,” Tiriana replied, and Sera felt her stomach drop out from under her. That was something she’d never even considered as a possibility, although it was certainly something present in some level in many fantasy settings. But that was fiction, and the magic she had witnessed so far had never been quite so impressive.
“They can just…do that? With magic?”
“Miracles,” Tiriana corrected. “Something like that requires divine intervention. Strictly speaking, the cleric merely acts as a conduit for their patron. Which is why it has to be an Archcleric; a miracle of that size is too much for an ordinary cleric to channel.”
“But we’re all the way at the edge of the world…right? So I don’t…actually have any way of meeting one. If I could even pay for it,” Sera pointed out, deflated. Tiriana, for her part, remained positive.
“Clerics provide their services freely, as their patrons will it. But yes, it would be difficult as a result of location. But if we make enough discoveries out here, you may be able to purchase transport to a city with a temple, or even grow the community here large enough to attract one,” the elf said reassuringly. It sounded like a major undertaking, but it was nice to know it was at least possible, Sera supposed.
“What about the cleric here?” she asked, concluding that the other line of conversation wasn’t going anywhere right now.
“Vivi is a cleric of Adventure. That’s why she joined the expedition; anywhere you find a group of adventurers, a cleric of Adventure is likely to show up. Most of her miracles are more suited for exploration and survival, but I believe she should be able to provide palliative care.” Sera latched onto that possibility in her mind, hoping to find an answer to that question as soon as possible.
“Can we see her now?”
“Yes, I think she’ll be willing to speak to you now, since it’s a matter requiring her abilities, rather than just small talk. I’ll take you to her shrine.” Tiriana stood and headed for the door, Sera close behind. It was the first time Sera had stepped outside since her arrival, but the camp was still as quiet as before. Tiriana had said the other explorers were in the field, but she wondered what the support staff were up to. Acquiring food came to mind, and the cleric Vivi might be on standby in case of emergency, but she wasn’t sure what else there was to do.
In front of her, Tiriana made a sound of surprise, and she turned to see what had caught her attention. Emerging from the tree line, nearly opposite of where she’d arrived from, was a mountain of a man, although it was hard to be certain of his gender, given that he was man-shaped lizard.
Tiriana was a tall, blond elf, but other than her ears, she could pass for human. This new native was anything but. The doors and ceilings here were surely made with him in mind; he towered over both women at at least nine feet tall, and he was built like a brick house. As he came closer, Sera saw he had wings folded behind his back, giving him a resemblance to a dragon.
The most eye catching feature was, of course, his scales, which were a dark royal purple, interrupted by an off-white from his chin down through his torso- obvious because of the open vest he wore. His waist was covered by an orange and green kilt that complimented his scales, with a button up front Sera assumed was intended to allow it to be worn without pulling it past the wicked claws on his feet, or perhaps his digitigrade knees.
He waved to Tiriana with his free hand, the other being occupied by a long, fully metal spear resting on his shoulder. Tiriana detoured to the man, and Sera had to admit to being a bit curious herself. The first words he spoke were rough and like no human tongue she’d ever heard of, and she realized now what Tiriana had meant regarding communicating with people other than her- Sera had to make an active effort to ‘connect’ to this man before she could make out his words.
“Yes, this is her,” Tiriana confirmed, indirectly telling Sera that the man had asked about her. “Aisinct, this is Sera, our resident mistwalker. Sera, this is Aisinct, one of my colleagues on the explorer team.”
“Nice to meet you,” Sera said, craning her neck to meet his eyes.
“Doesn’t look like much,” Aisinct said shortly, directing the words to Tiriana, who rolled her eyes.
“Does anyone, next to you? Anyway, how was it out there? Find anything?”
“No. Something was watching, though. Smart. Stayed hidden.”
“You thinking people, or predators?”
“Not sure. Be careful.” With that, Aisinct appeared to have decided the conversation was done, as he walked past them towards a different structure from the one Sera had been in.
“Yeah, he’s not much for conversations, if you couldn’t tell. Can’t expect much more than that from the others, either. See why I was so happy to meet you?” Tiriana looked Sera’s way with a raised eyebrow. Sera was more concerned with what little he did say, though.
“Should we be worried?”
“We knew there were signs of civilization going in, so it’s not a revelation, just reason to be cautious. We can worry about that after we speak to Vivi.”
With that, Tiriana covered the remaining distance to the shrine- which looked just like every other building from the outside- and Sera followed her in.