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Misfentures
Enter the Hero! And the Protagonist...

Enter the Hero! And the Protagonist...

Have you ever considered what is right now under your feet?

    Did you know that where you stand there is a wide, magical kingdom lying in wait to be discovered? Grand. Complex. Intricate. Inclusive. Foreign, yet familiar. Wondrous.

    This story is not about that kingdom, but it is of a kingdom. Deep in the sewers beneath New York City resides the humble town of Rodentia, home to roughly 30,000 mice at the telling of this story. If you think that is big, you have not seen the mouse cities of Wiskervellia and Cheesehold. If you had, then you would know quite plainly that 30,000 mice is a mere town. With that clarification for all you untraveled readers, suffice it to say that small Rodentia was undergoing a severe period of change.

    The old duke, Duke GrrGruff, had been murdered.

    Well, the old Great Dane had it coming. A younger, grizzled Mastiff had joined the ranks of the duke’s royal guard. He itched for war. His old battle scars called for vengeance. When he licked them, he tasted his own blood mingled with that of his many enemies. He saw an opportunity to marshal a large force and seek what had been ripped from his paws.

Furthermore, this upstart saw the fat of the land. Duke GrrGruff had been too soft on his subjects. As a result, his halls languished and the treasury slowly depleted. The Mastiff hungered. And this duchy could slake his thirst and sate his hunger. He opened his maw to take it.

He ripped open the good duke’s throat and took the kingdom. The new Duke GrrGruff was crowned and ready to expand his rule. To that end it was necessary to mobilize the mice.

And that is how we get to what you really care about, our protagonist.

Michael strode down the streets of Rodentia, tall and erect. His tunic barely contained his bulging, strapping chest, across which was slung the sheath for his massive battle axe. Michael’s whiskers were waxed and curled. The perfume of spring wafted around him, and a cape of white rustled behind him, drapped to his shoulder.

But Michael is not our protagonist. Make no mistake! He is the hero of the mice. But no, his are sadly not the adventures that concern us.   

    For that, we must turn our gaze to that slouched fellow helping pull an overburdened cart. Yes, the one who looks particularly bedraggled.

    Gabriel was Rodentia’s resident mage mouse. That was also what everyone referred to him as. A scrawny mouse who wore a patchwork cape frayed at the edges. His whiskers drooped a little and his arms shook with the effort of pulling along a smelly cart full of food for the town guards. Everything was drab and brown about him, from rumpled fur, large eyes, and tarnished earring. His oversized staff shaped like a shepherd’s crook stuck out from the back of the cart.

Other mice gave Gabriel and his companions wary glances as they carried the cart out of town. It was dangerous to leave Rodentia. The mage mouse’s eyes darted about as he pulled, taking in their looks his fellow mice gave his companions. They were not so concerned about him.

Gabriel was an unwanted mouse. A failed mage. And a less than stellar citizen.

Just get the food to the guards and you can then scuttle back to your study. It was just your lot that brought you out here, not an attempt to get rid of you. Everything will be alright.

“Mage Mouse, put your back into it,” Ripner growled.

“On it,” Gabriel panted, moving about and arching his back as he pulled on the cart’s lead rod. “How’s this?”

“You’re hopeless,” the beefy mouse grunted. “Worthless.”

“Yes,” Gabriel replied, his whiskers drooping even more.

He looked up and saw Michael in the distance. He was greeting a small group of mice up the road. He gasped when re realized that the mouse Michael was specifically conversing with was Maria.   

    The most beautiful mouse in all of Rodentia! Her long fur was brushed back and her winning smile sparkled in the distance. She wore a lovely pink and yellow dress. He wondered what kind of embroidery she had on it. All of her clothing was intricate and always caught the eye.

    “Mage Mouse! Get your head in the journey! Or we’ll throw you into the cart for the guards,” Ripner snarled.

    “Sorry, Ripner. I just saw something that caught the eye.”

    Ripner glanced back and sneered, “You’ll never get their attention. Learn your place, mage Mouse!”

    “We talk at times,” Gabriel muttered under his breath.

    Clacky, more rat than mouse, snickered and said, “What? You and the maid of the people? You spend so much time in those books of yours I think you’ve lost your grip on reality.”

    “Is it so hard to think that Maira and I could talk together? To be a thing,” he squeaked quietly.

    “Yes,” Ripner and Clacky said together.

    Gabriel fell silent as the two mice began roaring with laughter. They taunted him for his aspirations and pointed out how he could never be like the mighty Michael. They were very right. Gabriel was not likely to grow anymore. Unless he could use magic to assist him with that.

    He looked back at his staff and thought, If only it were that simple….

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    The three mice managed to pull the cart out of the town and began climbing the gradual ascent to the watch house. It was rigorous work, and Gabriel began to feel sick from all of the work this trip was taking.

    I really need to work out! I can’t take another trip like this! I can’t let others keep seeing me as worthless. Even if it is true…

    Gabriel tried to distract himself by taking in the view. The skyshrooms gleamed brightly with the light of the gods’ sun far above the ceiling. It was a beautiful sight. The moss and sewer growth was in full bloom. Rodentia reflected the skyshrooms’ light. It was a magnificent town, built from the gifts and devices the gods sent to them through the waterfalls and rivers. Without these merciful offerings, the mice of Rodentia would never have been able to nestle themselves in this quiet corner of the sewers.

    Even with the advent of the new GrrGruff, Rodentia was safe from attack by pirates and had access to lush walls covered with vegetation. The ever-gushing waterfall at the town’s back guarded it day and night. A wide river formed nearby, but its current was too strong for even the craftiest of rats. With the high walls sandwiching Rodentia, the only way in or out was through the dogs.

    The giant beings who added the last layer of protection to the town. And the ones whose food Gabriel and the others hauled.

    It fascinated Gabriel, thankfully taking his mind of his sore muscles and own worthlessness, how the gods above crafted these lands. It was by their hands that the tunnels were cut, the ceiling laid strong and sound, and waterways flowed. They had built this world, but they had abandoned it for something else. Something even higher.

    Gabriel dreamed of one day ascending beyond the skyshrooms and peering into the realm of the gods. It must be marvelous up there. But how could he ever get up so high? He knew of no way up there. Some rumors held that the duchy of dogs and the ever wandering cat knights knew of ways to ascend, but Gabriel had never found any concrete evidence to support such wild claims.

    “Mage Mouse, don’t make me have to tell you again,” Ripner warned.

    “Yes, I’m sorry Ripner,” Gabriel wheezed.

    The mice neared the end of their journey. A hut had long ago been erected that could house five dogs easily. It was made like the rest of Rodentia, with offerings from the gods. Large bowls ringed the hut where the dogs’ food was to be deposited. And in case you haven’t put two and two together yet, the guards are the dogs.

    A loud voice called over to them with a bark, “It’s about time you vermine made it up here! We’ve been waiting for our provisions for too long! Slopper here has licked the bowls clean!”

    The speaker was a sharp and overlong Schnauzer. His name was Pencil, whose most defining features were a squashed face like an overused eraser and a black, pointed tail. Gabriel had always known him for his temper. Even before the death of the old GrrGruff, Pencil had been a hard one to get along with.

“It would help if you came down and pulled the cart yourselves,” Clacky snorted.

Gabriel and Ripner tackled him and told him to keep quiet. The others dogs emerged from the guard hut.

“What was that,” an aged Terrier name Bigsby asked.

“It was nothing,” Gabriel squeaked. “He was just muttering that we needed a better cart!”

“That’s for you vermin to take care of, not us,” Pencil said with an irritated tone. “You all just laze about during the day. Scurrying about and never properly applying yourselves!”  

“Look who’s been reading that word a day calendar what’s washed up,” a wet voice laughed. It belonged to Slopper, a patchwork bulldog with drooping cheeks.

“Shut it! I’m in command here,” Pencil shouted.

“Begging your pardons,” Ripner managed to get in. “But we’d like to unload everything and be on your way.”

    “Well then? What are you waiting for? Be on with it,” Pencil said, shooing the mice with a paw.

    The three mice hopped to and got to work unloading the dirty cart of all its rotten fish, freshly harvested moss, spices, and edible offerings from the gods. All of the dogs but Slopper turned their noses up at the food. They were happy to see the barrels of water and Blue Moss Meade.

    “Now that’s a proper offering,” Pit the tiny Pug said appreciatively to Gabriel.

    “It’s come directly from the Midigen Family’s cellar,” Gabriel panted, still recovering from the trip to the guard house. “We want to make sure our protectors have only the best that we can provide.”

    Pencil sniffed at his comment, but Slopper and Pit took it well. They gave grateful barks.

    “Mage Mouse, you are always ever the gentlemouse,” Slopper said. “You should come by more often.”

    “Th-Thanks! But I’m usually very busy,” Gabriel protested. The other mice snorted loudly.

    “And you always have a new trick up your sleeves,” a badly scared, black Labrador named Bella cooed. She had an ear that hung dead over her right eye. “The boys always enjoy your little displays. Please, regale us with one.”

    She spoke nicely, but Gabriel knew better than to believe that this was anything but an order from Bella. Pencil may be the leader, but Bella was the one who kept them all in line. No hound misstepped with her on watch.

    “Sure, let me just get my staff,” Gabriel replied shakily.

    Ripner and Clacky scoffed and stopped working to watch. All the dogs gathered close to watch Gabriel’s performance. Even Pencil edged closer, despite his annoyed expression. Gabriel thought of something that might wow the guards enough so that they wouldn’t be upset and simply accept the offerings.

    I’ve been practicing a light spell. Granted, it hasn’t been going entirely according to plan, but it makes some great noises and it is dazzling, Gabriel thought.

    He raised his crooked staff and muttered the incantation under his breath. He felt his powers blossom from within his heart and surge throughout his body. The energy flooded from his blood to his fingertips and into his staff. The spell erupted from the staff’s head.

    The spell was dazzling in how terribly it failed. The air shook with sound of a massive explosion, causing all five dogs to jump. Instead of dazzling light, all-consuming darkness swirled in the form of a ball. The ball was torn apart into shades of grey, flying about like confetti until the grey light disappeared.

    The mice were horrified. Gabriel was stunned. The dogs were speechless.

    Finally, Pit squealed, “That was incredible! I didn’t realize that was what color looked like!”

    Gabriel tilted his head with confusion.

    “You never cease to amaze, Mage Mouse,” Bella said appreciatively. “As opposed to this one!”

    The Lab suddenly whirled on Clacky. The lanky mouse wet himself on the spot. He cowered before Bella.

    “What did I do?” he managed to gasp.

    “You showed us disrespect when bringing your offering,” Bella snorted. “I heard it crystal clear. ‘It would help if you came down and pulled the cart yourselves,’ is what you said.”

    The other dogs looked uncertain, while Bella was angry. But it was Pencil who took action. He stalked forward and brought his paw down hard on top of Clacky. The poor rodent was crushed to the hard floor. Pencil’s jaws closed around the hapless mouse and finished him off with a crunch.

    Ripner and Gabriel paled. Bella looked upset and disappointed. The other dogs were still uncertain.

    “You two! Finish your work and be gone! Next time, tell the offering bringers to show us the utmost respect or we will kill all of them and keep the cart! Hop to it!”

    Gabriel dropped his staff and hurried to comply. He and Ripner managed the rest of the load by themselves. Pit gingerly took up Gabriel’s staff and placed it back in the cart.

    “Be sure to give us another wonderful spell display next time, Mage Mouse! You’re the most fun we get,” he said happily.

    Gabriel couldn’t speak. He just nodded his head furiously and helped trudge the cart back to Rodentia. He looked back and saw that Bella kept her eye on them. He swiveled back to keep pressing onward into town.

    Once the hut was in the distance, Ripner snapped, “This is all your fault, you know!”

    “Yes, you’re right,” Gabriel said, hanging his head. His spell had gone all wrong. Had that affected Bella somehow? “I’m so sorry.”

    “Save it! You’re worthless, and you know it. We all know it! I don’t want you anywhere near Clacky’s family for the next long while. Stay away from me too, while you’re at it!”

    “Yes… Yes I will.”

    With that, the two mice entered Rodentia in silence.

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