My first memory is falling. 

I’m Noah Reynard, a 15-year-old boy who should learn when to leave things be and actually sleep for once.

I’m walking a way I’m very familiar with since just a few blocks away is Rosewood School. Putting one foot in front of the other is starting to get tiring. Perhaps I shouldn’t have stayed up 2 nights in a row reading a mystery novel. However, it was just way to capitating. I don’t pay attention to my surroundings, so I almost walk into something if it wasn’t for the voice I hear warning me. I abruptly stop walking. Just now I see that this thing I almost walked into is actually a person. Ryota Kato, a detective in his twenties and someone who lets me help on cases. He is tall and has black hair. Due to how pale he is and his eyebags I sometimes wonder if he ever heard what sleep is. Despite it only being 7 am Kato is already smoking. Though he quickly puts the cigarette out.

“Good morning!” I greet him while looking around searching for the reason Kato would be here. It’s not that he doesn’t live around here it’s just that he doesn't tend to leave his house unless it’s for a case especially so early.  In response Kato simply sighs looking as if my mere presence took several years of his life. Kato twitches “There is no investigation to push your nose into. I was just getting coffee.”  What Kato said made sense. There wasn’t anything around that would indicate that there was an investigation going on and in his hands is a to go coffee cup from the bakery they are standing in front of. I almost believe him.

However, there is a voice screaming in my head He’s lying. It’s the same voice which warned me earlier and one of many voices which I have been hearing for most of my life. I look to Kato unimpressed making it obvious that I’m not believing his bullshit. “Stop that. Don’t you have school.” Kato grumbles. I do but I also don’t care. “Don’t you have a case?” “I already told you that I don’t.” I hear the voices in my head screaming bullshit and liar. I have half a mind to slam my head against the bakery’s wall but decide against it. I don’t feel like looking like a complete psycho.

“You know I can help. You said that-” Before I could continue Kato cuts me off. “There is something wrong with this case. However, there is no need for you to get involved everything is under control. Promise me to stay out of it.” Kato looks slightly anxious which means that he must seriously be worried. I pause for a second. Aw your father is concerned the voices coo. Who cares if I look insane, I will kill those voices and then myself. Try it! I take a deep breath and remind myself that murder and suicide are not the solution. Ok, what if they are though? I can’t kill the voices I have been stuck with them and they refuse to leave.

I snap out of my thoughts hearing Katos voice “Kid, You good?” I realize that I have yet to answer him. “You will stay out of this, got it?” I nod. It is easy to tell that neither of us believe it. “Bye Detective!” I take a step forward ready to leave when I get stopped by a hand on my head. Kato awkwardly pats my head. “You should sleep more you look like shit.” Before I could do anything else he was already gone. Tsundere the voices chant.

I take out my phone realizing that if I don’t hurry, I will actually be late for school and my teacher will kill me. So just kill him first. The voices suggest. They tend to be rather trigger happy who always suggest murder first and say fuck questions. That might come from the fact that they are convinced that they hold all the answers in the universe. I think they are full of shit. They are annoying and constantly give me headaches or even migraines. I started carrying ibuprofen with me everywhere just in case. I don’t even know why I hear voices. One day they just suddenly appeared. At first, I thought I might have hit my head a little too hard, but they didn’t go away nor did they shut up. I’m not sure whether they are real, or I have simply gone insane. Both the voices say.

I ignore them walking into my school. It doesn’t take long until I arrive at my classroom. In front of it are two people I immediately recognize. My friends Kai and Ava. Kais’s hair is just as black as Kato’s however he isn’t pale and actually has a somewhat healthy sleeping schedule. His hair is really fluffy even if it doesn’t look like it. He always wears a t-shirt no matter how cold it is and claims he is fine dispite his body tempature being freezing. Sometimes I wonder if he is as familiar with the word cold as Kato with sleep and Ava personal space. Kai also looks like he hasn't aged a day since I met him but I can't really judge. Ava has long kind of dirty blond hair. Also, she accidently punched me when we first met and she is definitely stronger then she looks.

“Took you long enough. I thought you wouldn’t come.” Ava says practically jumping in front of me and hitting some random student with her hair. I greet her back but get interrupted by a yawn. My body screaming for sleep. “Morning sleeping beauty.” Kai laughs coming over to Ava and me. Ava is already talking about something throwing her arms around to get her point across better almost hitting multiple students in the process. She also hit Kai at least 5 times I’m starting to think that this might be on purpose.

“That’s why I think crack is way too expensive.” Ava finishes her rant. Perhaps I should have listened after all because now I am not sure if I should be concerned or not. It’s fine the voices reassure me which just makes me even more doubtful. I’m about to ask Ava for some context on her interesting statement. Even though I doubt that any amount of context could save this. When the teacher arrives. He unlocks the classroom and lets all students inside. The second the students are seated the teacher starts to talk. I’m not really listening more occupied with the task of staying awake though currently being awake or asleep wouldn’t make a lot of a difference.

My mind travels back to my conversation with Kato this morning. It was a little weird that Kato wouldn’t let me help. At first, he had been hesitant and cold when I started to stick my nose into police investigation but after some very friendly and legal conversations, they gave up on trying to keep me away from cases. Besides I always happened to stumble upon crime scenes. After that Kato became an unofficial mentor for me. There are always cases that Kato would prefer I stayed out of, but he also prefers if I investigate in a way that he can look after rather than me doing it behind his back.

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I yawn again completely losing my train of thought. Perhaps I should have gone to bed. Getting no sleep and then having math first period is a horrible combination. I take my phone out and hide it behind my pencil case so that my teacher doesn’t see it. One of my teachers which was supposed to teach in third period has gotten sick and we now have a sub. Usually there are two type of substitute teachers. The ones which force you to do work no matter what even worse if you sub teacher has learned the same subject as the one, they are filling in for. On the other hand, there are the sub teachers which couldn’t care less about what you do or what happens to you.

If I’m lucky it is the latter and I can catch up on some sleep in 3rd period. Though currently I feel like I won’t even make it to the end of 1st period without falling out of my chair. My teacher noticing this ask me to answer some question. I look to the board taking a second but giving an answer in the end. My teacher said nothing and simply turned to the next student. I feel a tap on my shoulder. Kai is looking at me with concern “You look dead. Are you sick?” Wow I really should have gone to bed. Sleep is for the weak the voices argue. “I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep.” Kai titles his head to the side and started smirking “Didn’t sleep? Were you perhaps thinking about me?” After a few seconds Kai started to get red. “I mean Ava and me. Since you know. We are planning on meeting. Later all three of us.” At this point kai has lost all confidence and is just rambling. I take note of his red face. Maybe he is feeling sick. Should we tell him? The voices wonder.

I got him to calm down. Luckily the teacher didn’t notice us since he was way too busy scolding another student who apparently used his phone in class. “Are you ok? You still seem red.” I ask bringing my hand up to his forehead. “Also, you are burning up.” Kai looks positively dead. “I could take you to the nurse if you want.” I suggest. Kai backs away a bit making me drop my hand which I didn’t even realize I was still holding to his head. “No, I’m okay. I just also didn’t sleep a lot.” He trailed off at the end. Lair the voices say. I’m starting to think that either every other person is lying to me, or the voices have trust issues. Either way I shouldn’t care I have been listening to these stupid voices way too much lately.

I got lost in thought again and when I snapped back Kai manged to completely calm down. His face was now only slightly red tinted. I decide to leave it alone for now if he isn’t feeling well, he can tell me. I focus back on class realizing my teacher has been writing some stuff on the board which I need to copy. In my opinion math class takes way too long. Despite all classes being 45 minutes Math feels more like 5 hours. After the bell finally rings Ava takes her seat and puts it in front of our desk. Kai and Ava immediately started to talk about everything and nothing at the same time. I decide to listen sometimes giving my opinion or answering a question.

It didn’t take long for the 5 minutes to pass, and Ava being forced to go back to her seat. In 2nd period we have English. Nothing really happened. I somehow managed to get through the class without passing out. We now have a 15-minute break and are forced to leave the classroom. I try to close my eyes a bit but it’s way too loud. The break passes in a blur and before I know it, I’m back in my classroom. Our sub teacher ended up only showing up for a minute before saying that she has to look after another class and needs to leave. I didn’t really listen the second she was gone I practically slammed my head on my desk and passed out.

I felt something shake me. I open my eyes trying to figure out where I am. I look at the source of the shaking and see Ava. “It’s 1 minute until 4th period class starts. You better wake up if you don’t want to get in trouble.” In response I yawn. I felt a little better now. That’s how the rest of my school day went. I’m trying to not fall asleep and if I do Kai or Ava wake me up.

At the end of the school day, we each say goodbye to each other, and Ava pulls Kai and me into a hug. I’m walking back to my house when I hear the voices say Go left. That however is the wrong way. I have to keep going straight forward so that’s what I do. After all there is no reason for me to listen to some voices in my head. They aren’t real. There is just something wrong with me. They are not real- LEFT. The voices scream so loud I have to stop walking. I feel dizzy and I can already feel a headache forming. They keep chanting left left left.

I choose to give in. When I have to choose between a different route or getting a headache I will take the different route. Besides following the voices so far hasn’t ever really ended too bad mostly just mildly dangerous situations. So, I turn left. Fuck you, I think. I can feel the voices smile in satisfaction. A shiver goes down my spine. This is creepy I decide.

At this point I have been walking around for about 30 minutes and I’m starting to get tired. I finally arrive at a creepy looking forest. The trees are really close so hardly any light gets into the forest which makes it impossible to look very far inside. Getting lost in there would be easy. Fuck this shit I decide and abruptly turn around. I reach for my phone planning on looking for the fastest way home. Suddenly I hear something behind me. Someone was walking out of the forest. It sounds like an adult. They are heading straight for me.

I’m already planning my funeral knowing I most likely won’t get out of this. I would like dahlia and oleander flowers on my grave. My thoughts are interrupted by the annoying voices safe they say. Then I hear it a voice I know quite well. “Noah what are you doing here?” It’s Kato. My shoulders sag in relieve. I didn’t even realize how tense I kept them. Turning around I see Kato standing there though he isn’t alone. There are two police officers. Kato is looking at me expectedly and I realize I haven’t answered his question yet. However, I could hardly say ‘The voices in my head told me to go here. I don’t know why either’ That definitely sounds sane. “I was just walking around.” I settle on. “You should go back home.” Kato must be on a case right now hence the officers. The case Kato doesn’t want me a part of to be precise.

Kato looks at me realizing that trying to lie now wouldn’t work. “How do you always manage to appear at crime scenes or my cases. It’s like you are a dog smelling a treat.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about the metaphor Kato used and decide to leave it for now. The voices however are really offended by being called a dog if their complaints and threats are anything to go by. Kato seems to mull over the idea of strangling me or simply sighing fondly. I shrug my shoulders since I don’t have a good excuse. It was alarming and weird, but the voices always seem to know when something happened or is about to. They also love to send me to these locations. I wouldn’t really mind it since I do want to become a detective, but it was starting to actually make people concerned I was some type of Shinigami. I’m not too sure. Every time the voices know something they really shouldn’t it’s hard to see them as nothing more than a defect in my brain.

“Since I’m already here why don’t I help out a bit.” I smile. Kato looks pained by the mere suggestion but before he could say something most likely remind me of our conversation this morning a police officer speaks up. “Why don’t you let the mini detective help” His name is Mike, and he is almost always at the same scenes as me. He has always been nice to me. “This isn’t the most gruesome scene he has seen, and he knows really weird things like our personal psychic.” Mike continuous but Kato still isn’t convinced in fact it looks like he is 2 seconds away from slapping officer Mike. “Fine do whatever you want.” He caves after all. “Come and be careful.”