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Chapter XXIX

A great feast was made in honor of Subito’s coronation. Ceremony was at the dawn when representatives of Lumos had given him the crown. At the same time when he accepted it and put it on his head, all veils were lifted off the all fetun stones in the land, bringing the light. Cheer from the gathering throng was deafening. Subito raised his hands:

“If you keep it up you will frighten all game away. What is the point of being a king if you can’t hunt?”

They answered with laughter. Crown was made of gold. On the hoop around his head were twelve owls from the Lumos crest. They were the size of the thumb with diamonds instead of eyes. Between each owl was golden arrow, her tip rammed into the golden hoop like someone fired it there. Arrow shafts were going inward holding fist size ruby at their feathers. Ruby was shaped like an egg. Subito gave a questioning look to Lumos representatives, one of them leaned toward him whispering:

“Since your majesty has decided to name his guard, the egg guard. We thought we should put an egg on your crown. They will be guarding that egg, and nobody would be able to call your majesty an egg.”

Subito nodded smiling. Commander of the egg guard took his hand and lead him toward the throne. Throne was massive, at least ton heavy, made of btaris embedded in melted silver. Bear skin was stretching across the middle section of it. He sat on it thinking “Not really comfortable, but it will do”. His guards lined in two were already descending bare hill where coronation took place. The throng below was moving aside, opening a lane for them. Brig master on the backs of his beast descended next to the throne. Quickly jumping to the ground, he attached chains hanging from Brig’s legs to the throne and went back to his position. Brig slowly hovered fifteen feet above the ground following the guards. Swinging in throne two feet above the ground Subito was waving to cheering people. Clad in his white egg armor and black Ulan pants and tunic he was quite a sight. Hanging on his belt, were Tir Ksai’s sword on the left side, and an Ulan sword on the right. At his right hand was a big seal ring. Around his neck was red scarf, sign of the order of bloody scarf. His guards surrounded the wooden platform. On the farther end were two tables, seated behind them were all kings who were fighting in his army. They were wearing crowns and were clad in most luxurious suits. His throne was lowered between two tables. As his guardsmen were erecting big sapphire blue tent around the platform and lining in two lines from his throne to tent entrance, he was almost envious of the people outside. Outside celebration had already started. Big ale barrels were broken open and various animals were turning on the stakes above big fires. And he had to spend the rest of the day receiving gifts from his new subjects. Gifts were ranging from roasted chickens and cakes to astonishing works of art and jewelry. But he took time to personally thank to every giver. Near the end of the day it was obvious there were too many gifts for him to receive them in one day. He was just about to postpone gifts receiving for tomorrow when he saw her. His jaw dropping he stood up stricken with disbelief. Slowly she was coming up the passageway. She was missing her right leg up to the knee, and was walking on the wooden leg attached to the stump. Reaching his throne, she picked up her head and looked him right in the eyes. Long they stood in the silence, watching each other.

“Miratur is that really you?”

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Miratur

“Yes” her voice was shaky.

“But… how?”

“I am so sorry…” she burst into tears. He hugged her.

“It’s all right.”

“I was aware all the time, but I couldn’t do anything… That creature was too strong… Even when it attacked you, I couldn’t… Their doctors saved my life, but I lost my leg… Only yesterday when they removed creature from my skull I could use my body again… Could you ever forgive me?”

“Nonsense, I love you, anything you do is already forgiven before you do it. And you haven’t done anything anyway.”

“Can you love me even without a leg? I am half what I used to be.”

“You will always be whole to me.”

“What’s this?” Eerie voice was coming from across the tent.

“Oh no, how could I forget…” Subito thought looking at the pale Alma.

“Get your hands off him you Lorantid bitch, he’s mine now.”

Miratur gave her look full of despise: “How could you do it? We were friends.”

“You was dead! And I loved him first. Why do you humans think you have right to come and take everything we Utrikats love? Now get your hands of him!”

She screamed, running across the tent to push Miratur away. But she moved back in, pulling her hair. In no time they were swirling on the floor scratching and biting each other. Subito separated them, holding each in one of his hands:

“Stop it!” Then he released them, they were watching in anticipation. Something inside of him was tearing apart. How could he choose? How could he hurt any one of them? His heart froze in an instant. It froze before it was able to stop him from executing terrible thought crossing his mind. There wasn’t any feeling left in him when he has cruelly spoken:

“I can’t choose, so we will let destiny do it. You will fight for me, right here, right now.”

Confused they were still looking at him. His eyes were odd, not focused on them, or on anything else. He looked right trough them like they were transparent. It was spoky.

“What are you waiting for? You say you love. Fight for you love!”

Miratur was first to move taking a scythe from one of his guards. Alma presented her stone club waiting for the attack. Subito sat back on his throne quietly whispering:

“It is justice, beautiful in her cruelty.”

***

Miratur was just about to place a final slash over the Alma’s neck with her scythe, when a thunderous voice stopped her hands. Everyone in big royal tent turned to exit, from where the voice was coming. It was Melessar, Subito’s sword brother. He was reciting prayer from the Book of Voice:

“… Last battle

This plate was written by students of Voice from the Crowd. While all the others holly man had written himself. Words of wisdom carved on the plates of his armor. Each plate made of top of the skull of the enemy slain by his hand.

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One day old teacher was sitting under the tree when death had come for him. But old teacher said he fought whole life, and he is not going without a fight. He was tired from ages, pain of life was crushing. But he said, 'This pain is weakness that leaves my body.' He jumped into death and steped through her flames. 'Everything is the same. Death and I are the same too and I can’t hurt myself unless I want to'. His mind shifted and he was immortal. He climbed up the White Mountain and jumped on the heavens, becoming one of the gods. One day when he wins all future battles we will all be one again.”

Subito was obviously annoyed “Oh, it’s my sword brother! Please come later, I am busy right now. These two wenches were trying to prove which one deserves my love, by killing each other. Do carry on. Don’t let my sword brother distract you.”

“Do you remember that fight, when you got red ribbon and I lost my hand?”

“Sure I remember if I could choose it would be other way around.”

“So you love me?”

Subito looked at him, surprised, like he sees him for the first time “You are my sword brother… But don’t make me say it, you know I won’t. It’s kind of talk girls would have.”

“You loved this girl that is about to die too?”

“Why are you bothering me with all of these questions? I probably love her still, but this is king’s justice: better one will get me, other one will die.”

“Can I have her, I gave you my hand.”

“You have lost your hand on the battlefield, same as she will lose her life. Justice must be…”

“Justice is important, but justice without love is pure cruelty. King is the father of his subjects. Father has to set the rules for his children, to save them from their endless curiosity. But setting the rules alone does not make you the father. What makes you father is the love for your children. But if you want justice I will give you justice. I lost my hand and yet you got a red ribbon. Isn’t it justice for king’s sword brother to receive a gift for his faithful service? I want her.”

Subito thought for some time, obviously displeased. “You can have her. Marry her, have twelve children and rule her converted Utrikats with her, I will grant you part of the land above the mines. My Lumos live in mines anyway.” He waved his hand, forcing a smile.

Melessar pulled Alma up. She was dream-walking, not realizing what just happened, with a big dumb grin on her face. Priest gave her to the servants and turned back to Subito. He hadn’t finished yet. Subito has already forgotten he was there, when he intruded again:

“Can I cheer up guests? This is a coronation after all.”

“Sure, sure…” Subito waved. As Miratur was struggling with her wooden leg, to sit on the throne next to him, he smiled “This life never stop being absurd – I am whole and I only got half of the wife and my half of the sword brother got a whole one.” Everybody smiled even Miratur.

His sword brother wasn’t smiling “Words of wisdom are: This world is just water vaporizing, and mist mirroring in the water. None of us is whole or even half, we are just small parts of Singularity. Particles never truly separated. Every night have stars, and every light cast a shadow. Every death gives life, and every life gives death. They are opposite, but still connected. So you are same as me and I am same as you.”

He clapped his hands and group of young boys entered carrying various instruments. Some of them were staggering under the weight of the instruments. Others were so small they didn’t know any other way to walk. They lined up and started dashing melody. Their leader was Arsamoria. Her hair was glued to her skull with sweat. She stepped forward and singed in girlish but not unpleasant voice. All over the course of the song she was stiff as a board, barely moving even her mouths.

“The hero tall and young, he stands

Above the dragon he just slay

His sword is in the dragon’s heart

Dark with blood on floor that spray

In dark blood stream on the floor

There’s no reflection which he seek

There’s only cold bestial gaze

Above his bloody pale cheek

And in those eyes he sees the truth:

To leave alive the monsters lair

One has to turn himself in beast

Once again to breath sweet air"

“Nice song, but it makes a weird choice for coronation party.” Subito observed.

“Does it?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Something you already know, after all you have killed all those beasts.”

“And became one in process? You want to say that I have lost my humanity committing all those murders?”

“You can’t kill so many and keep compassion for pain of others. Killing your enemy you become him.”

“Watch it…”

“You know it is the truth, you are just not ready to accept it.”

“What is the point of all this? Maybe I have no need for compassion or humanity. They are weaknesses, slowing me down.”

“It is true. But you must know who you are, and decide.”

“What do you mean? I know who I am.”

“You know who you was. That man does not exist anymore. You are not same man. Maybe you are not even a man anymore.”

“Explain yourself, this is not funny!”

“Do you know, what is the second urge of every particle of Singularity?”

“Second one is to devour all others and become Singularity again. Humans have a big hole in them, and that hole is the hunger. They will take, up to the point when world say I don’t exist anymore, and there is nothing for you to take.”

“You know those which stones I was researching?”

“Black and white ones? Yes I remember.”

“Well my theories proved correct, it was an old system of writing. Combination of white and black stones gives letters. And letters give words. And words give books like those books you have sent me from Hull Term.”

Subito was silent

“I was able to read them. Many stories in them were just repeating what was written in Book of Voice.”

“But it’s impossible! Those books are older than the Book of Voice.”

“Exactly they were repeating in past what was written in the future, or Book of Voice was repeating them. My first assumption was that Voice from the Crowd had access to these or some other similar books and was able to read them. Maybe Aenea of Tielbad left something for her descendants. But then I realized there is another possibility…”

“What other possibility?”

“When you throw a rock in the lake you get waves that echo primary strike. Maybe Voice from the Crowd was just wave or echo of others before him.”

“You want to say there were more people who joined the ranks of gods?”

“Yes, they are called Mindshifters. You know the story of Singularity, and how it was separated in myriad of particles. What if opposite process is possible? Like milk which, after some time begins to turn into cheese. Some stronger particle could bind or devour weaker ones and aspire to become Singularity again.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“You are the stone that could start the avalanche. The Mindshifter, part that seeks to become Singularity, even if you are not aware of it. I am here to help you. I am your sword brother, we are practically Singularity. In order to become a god, you have to seize to be a man. You will lose humanity, more and more. You will even lose the memory of how it is to be a human. You will forget how to forgive, to love, to hate, to revenge… World will lose colors. At first you will see only black and white, and after that just gray. All will be gray, and the same and the one. There will not be differences, no pain, or pleasure, no sorrow, or joy – only endless, eternal gray space, neither chaos nor order just one. But you will be complete, for the first time feeling of emptiness will leave you. You will feel no need to go out and seek for answers, you will know them. You will be the answer. You will not need the reasons, you will be the reason. You will destroy for the sake of destruction and create for the sake of creation and not for a reason.”

“But what happened with the others? How come they haven’t become Singularity?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they weren’t strong enough. There was one of them, I believe he was not the first, and certainly he was not the last, but he was strongest one. Do you remember a story about the battle of wizards, which brought destruction and covered the world with fog? I have found the records that show there was no battle amongst wizards. Actually they were fighting one of you. No one won. They were able just to contain him from spreading, but not to destroy him. Thus the fog, he is the fog.”

“He is a demon!”

“No. He is not a demon or the god, good or evil he is just Singularity.”

“And I am the same like him?”

“Yes.”

“What should I do?”

“Same as at the end of every sentence there is a dot, on the end of every world there is a black hole which will devour it. Only you have the knowledge to decide and power to stop or proceed.”

THE END