Mages are finicky about how they do their magic. I don’t get the metaphysical specifics, but my understanding is that the spells they work can do basically anything, so long as they have the time and materials necessary. One common component they can never get enough of is blood. It’s the most direct link you can get to a living being, and if you want to do any kind of mojo to them, good or bad, you’re going to need some of its blood. I got a lecture once about how this connected to the four humors and some details on vampirism, but I think I dozed off in the middle. The point is, we couldn’t track the thing before because it didn’t leave any physical traces of itself behind. Now, I had a part of it, and more than enough blood to make some magic happen.

The other Adepts helped me scrape the monster bits off my hand into a thermos for safe keeping. Most importantly, it meant I could wash my hands. In the moment, ripping out its spooky surrogate eyeball sounded like a fantastic idea. After the fact, it was incredibly gross. I picked up the remains of the snacks I’d bought for Lily and deposited them outside her room. I wasn’t really supposed to be in that part of the manor, but I considered sneaking around there to be part of my subterfuge training. At any rate, I didn’t get caught, and I was finally able to get some rest.

As I collapsed into bed, I began to feel just how hurt I was. Training had been rough as it was, with the usual set of lashings and beatings to help bring out my latent magical abilities. Throw in the earlier fight with the creature at the school, plus some sleep deprivation, and the late-night fight in the street, and my body was just about at its limits. Even if I hadn’t tapped into my magical powers and drained that energy reserve, I’d been physically pounded. Hell, that plummet after I’d ripped out its eye probably would have broken my spine if I hadn’t been conditioned to take bad falls. I was lucky to walk away from today with no major injuries. As it was, I’d be sore for a while, but ultimately fine. At least I’d have time to recover, since it’s not like I was going to school with my reassignment.

I drifted off into sleep faster than usual. I knew I was tired because my brain couldn’t even be bothered to haunt me with the usual set of nightmares. Instead it was just pure blackness from the moment I shut my eyes to the moment someone threw open the door and started laughing at me.

“Buh?” I said, very intelligently, jumping out of bed and getting tangled in the sheets. I tripped and fell on the ground. Ow. As I’d predicted, I was sore all over, and my body wasn’t quite moving the way I wanted it to.

“Rise and shine. We’ve got training to get to.” Harry smiled down at me.

I rubbed my eyes. “The blood. Spell. Magic. Thing?” Words were slowly returning to me, but not in any sensible form.

“None of your concern for now.” Harry’s smile hardened and he knelt down next to me to whisper. “Keep your head down. Jane’s not happy about you sneaking out and getting in a fight, but that blood is invaluable to tracking this thing down. We’ll get it.”

I slowly untangled myself and stretched out on the ground. All things considered, the ground felt nice. At least I was horizontal, which was preferable to being vertical. Harry laughed and stood up, then nudged me with his foot.

“None of that now. We have work to do.” He offered me a hand and dragged me off the ground. I followed him groggily to the training grounds for another grueling day.

Combat training was first up for the morning. It went much the same as the last time I’d sparred with Harry, except now I was even slower and more off balance thanks to my aching body. He trounced me over and over again, and I never even came close to landing a blow on him. So I added a few extra bruises from his wooden sword to the giant bruise that was my body.

After a few hours of having the snot beaten out of me, it was time for magical training. For everyone else, this was the fun part of the day. For me, it was the hard part. All of the other Adepts had lived their whole lives with their magical abilities, and tapping into those powers was as simple as breathing for them. They could use this time to focus on improving the potency of their magic, or the practical applications of their abilities. Adepts tended to only have one or two supernatural abilities flowing through their veins, so it was imperative that they could squeeze as much mileage out of those limited powers as possible. We weren’t like mages, who could bend magic to our will in any form we wanted: we were restricted only to what we’d been born with.

And then there was me, who couldn’t even do that much. My powers were poorly understood: unlike someone with a clearly-defined set of abilities like Harry, who could bolster his physical capabilities and reflexes well beyond the human maximum, mine were a bit more of a mystery. They were destructive, for sure, and powerful, doubly for sure, but my inconsistency in being able to wield those powers meant it was hard to figure out exactly what they were. This is where the training came in. Everyone else got to train on the abilities they already had; I had to train to awaken the abilities still dormant inside of me. And that meant going to extreme measures.

There’s a lot of ways I could describe the training regimen. I’d probably start with “brutal” or “inhumane”. My powers only showed themselves when I was placed under extreme duress, such as when a homicidal maniac or supernatural creature were about to kill me. It was deduced, then, that the key to unlocking those powers for more regular use was to accustom myself to that duress. The long and short of it was that this amounted to torture. I’d suffered beatings, lashings, drowning, isolation, and I was expected to endure it. Nobody was happy about this arrangement. Even the other Adepts had petitioned the family to suspend these activities and let me be a non-Adept servant of the family instead.

I disagreed. I didn’t want any more accidents to come about from my abilities. I wanted to control them. So I would grit my teeth and bear the severe treatment, and could only hope that it would all be worth it. I trusted the family’s judgment that this would eventually work. Other Adepts had been through similar training to fully awaken their own powers. There were some signs of progress: I’d been able to exhibit some minor telekinetic abilities during the torture, but nothing as extreme as what happened with Rowan. I hadn’t had an episode like that until last night, when I unleashed a shockwave at the creature while it was squeezing me to death.

I’ll spare the details of what this training involved on this day. Truth be told, I was becoming numb to the pain after the last year of this. So I endured yet another day, accumulated new scars, and renewed my vows to the family with the other Adepts before being dismissed. The day had started as a slog, and then suddenly gone by in a blur. I limped my way back to my quarters, trying not to stretch too much so my bandages could set properly, and opened the door. I doubled back into the hallway when I saw Lily inside, impatiently tapping her foot.

“Chips with no soda? Seriously? And all the chips were even broken up, it was practically just dust inside there.” She crossed her arms and glared at me. “And then you ditch school and I get saddled with some other bodyguard who can’t even take a joke? Aster, you’re killing me.”

I gaped at her, and my head spun. “Um.” I was off to a good start. “I thought you were still mad at me?”

“I’m mad at you? You’re the one who got all snappy at me! I was going to apologize when we walked to school this morning, except suddenly I’m not supposed to see you anymore because of your stupid reassignment.” Her eyes softened, and a hint of a smile crept onto her face. “Speaking of which, I’m not here right now. La la la, I’m definitely not sneaking around the Adept quarters and breaking any rules, couldn’t be me.”

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I sighed. “Of course not. But still…I thought you requested my reassignment. It came right after our…fight? Argument?” I shuffled inside my room and shut the door behind me. It wasn’t a very big room, but Lily was able to stand by my bed and I could stand by the doorway without it being too awkward.

“Aster, I wouldn’t do that. Friends fight. It happens. Yes, you hit a nerve, but I shouldn’t have said the things I said either.” She sat on the bed and gave a sigh of her own. “You were right, after all. I wasn’t allowed to have a close relationship with Rowan either, and then…well, you know what happened as well as I do. I did want things to be different with you, and I kind of saw you as a way to start over, and try to have a brother I could talk to. Or at least a real friend.”

I looked down at her, and she looked away. I could see some tears starting to form on her face. “I’m sorry too.” I said, finally. “It’s just weird, knowing that I was the replacement for the guy who tried to kill me, and set me down this path in the first place. I mean, I never even got to know him before he snapped.” I crouched down to the ground and looked away from her respectfully while she wiped her face.

“It’s okay. Everything was always strained between us, with him being an Adept and me being the heir, even though we were twins. I always wanted us to be like normal kids, but mom and dad never really allowed it.” I stayed quiet while she let it all out. I didn’t really get how feelings worked. “I never really knew what went on with the Adepts, I was always sheltered away and told to keep studying magic, and not to bother Rowan. And I did what I was told, and then I lost him forever. I’m sick of doing what I’m told.”

“Your parents just want what’s best for you.” I said softly while shifting from foot to foot. “I’m sure they’ll let you in on all of their affairs, including everything to do with Adepts, in time. You’re their heir after all. It would be pretty silly for them to leave you in the dark forever.” I stretched my arms out, and immediately winced in pain. It felt like one of my injuries was acting up. Lily looked down on me and looked confused.

“Are you okay? What…my God, what happened to you?” She finally took a good look at me, and I guess I looked about as bad as I felt. I tried rising to my feet, but lost my balance and collapsed to the ground again. “Aster?”

Lily was standing over me now, concern written all over her face. “I’m fine. It’s fine.” I said.

“No you’re not, you’re bleeding. What the hell?” Lily looked down at me, and I followed her gaze. It was true, my bandages were starting to leak blood. That probably wasn’t good.

“It’s…don’t worry about it.” I tried to redirect and push her out of the way so I could stand, but all of my strength had left me at this point. She stayed put.

“Oh no. We just got done talking about how I’m not doing what I’m told. Now what on Earth happened to you? Do you have any bandages or something? We can get you to the infirmary, it’s not too far from here.” Panic was beginning to creep into Lily’s voice. I waved her off and tried to put her at ease.

“I can get to the infirmary. It’s really not a big deal. I just got in a fight last night with the monster again, the same one that attacked us at school. I’m still recovering.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but I was concealing the full truth from her, and she could tell. Her worry didn’t leave her face in the slightest.

“Okay, let’s go. God, let’s at least try to stop some of the bleeding.” She lifted up my shirt to apply some pressure, gasped, and stood back up. “Aster, what the fuck?” She looked horrified. I squinted at her, then looked back down at what she was staring at. My abdomen was wrapped up in bandages, but lots of my scars were still plainly visible. Scars from the Adept training that Lily wasn’t supposed to know about. Oops.

I pulled my shirt back down and pushed against the wall to haul myself to my feet. “The infirmary. Right. Let’s go.” I didn’t look at her, and she didn’t protest, but the gears were clearly turning in her mind. There were going to be lots of uncomfortable questions being asked in the near future, especially if she hadn’t been told about the attack last night. And on top of that, if she wasn’t the one that asked for me to be reassigned away from her, then what was the deal with that in the first place?

Whatever the case, Lily offered her shoulder for me to lean on while we walked to the infirmary for me to get patched up. The masked doctor jumped at the sight of me, having just applied those bandages in the first place, but they quickly set about patching them back up, and told me not to overexert myself again. Lily stayed with me, apparently no longer concerned about the fact that she wasn’t supposed to be here. Nobody questioned her presence there, and eventually the doctor left us alone again.

Lily broke the silence first. “So, about everything being fine…” She started.

I scratched my head and looked away from her. “Okay, so I got the crap beaten out of me last night by the monster. It almost killed me and my powers awoke again to blow it away. It’s still alive, but I wounded it and brought some of its blood back for the family to work their magic with. I assumed you’d been told all this.” Again I tried to keep the subject on the things that Lily should have been allowed to know about. She wasn’t supposed to get involved in a monster hunt, but there was no reason she couldn’t know things about how it was going.

“That’s…I mean, that’s not really good but it’s something. But you didn’t get all those scars last night.” She crossed her arms and looked right at me. I relented and returned her look, grimacing.

“No, I didn’t. Listen, Adept training is…well, it’s effective.” I struggled to find the right words while still toeing the line of what she could and couldn’t be told.

“What are they doing to you? Are all of the Adepts going through this? No training should be doing that to anybody.” She was raising her voice, and I put my hand out to try and calm her down. It didn’t work. “What the hell else are they keeping from me? Did Rowan go through this too? Are you really okay with this?”

I winced. She’d apparently put it all together in her head without me even saying anything. Had she already suspected that this was happening? Lily was always a bit naive, and it was easy to forget that she was still wickedly smart. “I am okay with it. It’s what is required to serve the family as their Adept.” I started slowly. “I can handle it. All of us can. That’s why we’re still here.”

She huffed and glared at me. This clearly wasn’t a good enough explanation for her, and I could tell she was going to raise hell with her parents the instant she got the chance. And, like usual, it was going to be my fault. No wonder they’d reassigned me. “This isn’t right and you know it. It’s no wonder they’re so uptight about us getting close, if there’s a chance you’re just going to bleed out and die at the manor during this ‘training’ you’re so adamant about. Do you really not see how messed up this is? I’ll bet they had you reassigned just so this wouldn’t happen. Ugh, that is so like them.”

My throat tightened up. Lily had never bared her heart to me like this. Aside from the fact that I was in so much trouble because of this, Lily was about to go nuclear, all because I’d pulled some stitches. Wonderful. “This is how it’s always been, Lily.” I felt like appeasing her was going to be impossible, but I had to try something. “The whole time I’ve been here. And I’ve been fine. It’s all to help me master my powers in the end.”

“And have you? Or have they been torturing you for no reason? Hm?” She got up in my face and squinted at me. I flinched back.

“Well, there’s been some progress. But…no, I haven’t gotten full control yet.” My voice was quiet and timid before the firestorm that was Lily’s temper. She had a point.

“So, no, it hasn’t been worth it. And you’ve been enduring this the whole time? All of you have? And you never told me?” Now the hurt was plain in her eyes. “Rowan never told me either?”

“The family—”

“My family is made up of psychopaths, apparently. You’re all crazy if you think this is okay. You’re smarter than this! You’re better than this.” She got up and marched towards the exit while I uselessly reached after her. There was no stopping this from happening at this point. She whirled around and jabbed a finger at me. “And you’re not doing this anymore. I’m ordering you to rest and recover, and to never go through that again, no matter what my parents say.”

I opened my mouth, then shut it. Though she never had before, she technically could give orders to any of us Adepts. I inclined my head. “A-as you wish.” I stammered out. I’d never had to use a formal acknowledgement with Lily before. She turned on her heel and marched out, stomping her way over to her parents.