Ivan collected the pair of items from the dirt, shoving the ruined patch of fur in his bag. He held the small foot in his hand, studying it. In his hand was an ordinary rabbit's foot, but there was no point for the foot to attach to the body.

Whambit's foot: Who? What? How?

Rarity: Rare

He looked to the miniature Angel, holding it up to her. "Seriously, do they have feet or no?" The raging little woman was looking down at him with stern eyes.

"Do you think this is funny, shorty? That thing was kicking your ass until you got that lucky swing in!" She looked furious, moving in close to his face once more. "This is unacceptable! For Odin's sake, it's the bottom of the food chain. Look at what it did to you!"

As she spoke, his status screen materialized before him, reduced down to show his current state.

Name: Ivan Pyrebeard

Age: 48

Level: 1 90% EXP: 45

Hp: 95

Mp: 100

Stamina: 110

"It took a fifth of your Health cause you turned away from it in the midst of battle and then ran around like a pansy the rest of the time!" The Angel pulled her mace from her belt once more and swung it at Ivan. He quickly scurried away, dodging her blows.

"But I won in the end, and I got almost a level!" He exclaimed while fleeing from the attacking Angel. "Stop trying to hit me!" He put his hands up to ward off the woman. "Plus, it was my first time in a fight outside of grade school. What did you expect from me."

This appeared to ; he the small woman, gathering herself and taking deep breaths. "Fine, it was a shameful first time, but we will build from there. Next time, don't look away from your foe until you put him down!" She aimed her mace at his face to emphasize her statement.

"Yes, Ma'am, I will keep my eye on the murderball from now on!" Ivan let out a breath he had been holding, seeming to have weathered her fury. Looking out at the small clearing, he noticed a lack of furry white balls. "Where did they go?"

"They ran away, cowardly creatures that they are. When one is attacked, the others flee, maybe one will stay to fight if they have a substantial connection to their ally. Though that rarely happens unless the herd is more massive. We will have to go hunting again." The Angel flew forward, leading Ivan along. "This time, do try to keep quiet. We will have a better time finding our prey."

The dwarf nods, putting the foot into his bag with the fur and squatting down to sneak forward. He wondered if there was a stealth icon somewhere, looking around for it, not paying attention to much as his thoughts strayed.

"What in the name of Odin are you doing?" The Angel's voice cut through his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "Do you have to take a Shit?"

"I'm sneaking, what does it look like?" A trace of anger in Ivan's voice as he continued forward past the annoying sprite. Walking along until he heard her start to laugh uproariously. He spun on her to see the woman on the ground laughing and kicking her legs up.

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"You think that's sneaking! You moron!" She finally let out as Ivan scowled down at her. "What do you think this is? Some shitty video game!" Her howling laughter eventually dying down as Ivan let out a growl and stomped off. "Hey, don't be like that; it's just so funny!"

Ivan ignored her as he marched forward, pushing through the brush while she flew to catch up to him. Stupid winged bitch! Making fun of me like that! I don't know anything about this place, what else am I supposed to think! Ivan's vision tinted red around the edges once more, ignoring the small woman's cries. As he turned to confront the woman in his rage, he noticed what she was yelling about. A giant tusked beast was bearing down on him quickly. It looked like a giant boar but had far too many tusks! Tusks it would use to gore him to death once it ran him down.

A small voice in Ivan's head screamed for him to dodge, to run, to climb a tree! Anything other than stand in this monster's way. Another voice was drowning it out with its screaming rage. First, the rabbits, now this bitch wants a piece of me! His inner voice screamed as the creature's charge brought it closer!

The dwarf had his Warpick in his grasp, he let out a roar of fury! "BRING IT ON YOU FUCK!" As the boar was within feet of him, the raging man brought the hammer end down with all his might on top of the pig's skull before it drove into him!

Critical Hit! 89 damage against Gore Boar!

You have fractured the skull of your enemy!

75 damage taken from Gore Boar.

You are Bleeding, -5 health a minute.

You have broken your left leg.

The Gore Boar knocked Ivan aside like a bowling pin, throwing him aside as it drove past him before dropping to the ground itself. Ivan struggled to his feet, leaning on his uninjured leg. He couldn't feel the pain yet, adrenaline coursed through him. His rage still in control. The boar was struggling to get back on its feet, unbalanced and dizzy from the impact of the hammer. Ivan limped forward, "You are going to make so much bacon, you fat fuck!"

-5 health from Bleed

The dwarf ignored the notice as he neared his downed enemy. The boar found it's feet before Ivan got to it, though that didn't matter. It was still stumbling about as Ivan brought his weapon down on the boar's head once more, this time with the pick side. The impact fell upon the boar's already fractured skull, piercing through it into the brain with a revolting crunch.

25 Damage to Gore Boar!

Goar Boar Slain! 250 EXP Gained! (50 x 5 Level difference)

Congratulations! You have gained 3 levels!

You are no longer bleeding.

As Ivan read this screen, he felt a warmth spread from his core. It was the feeling of a hearth fire, a gentle hug from a cherished family member, the mug of hot chocolate after a time spent in the cold. It encased his body, making him feel pure and peaceful. The man left out a deep sigh of relief and happiness for the first time in a long time. He held onto it until the pain in his leg came barging in, causing him to fall over with a pained yell!

"FUCK! It hurts. My leg!" He yelled out, gripping his leg. He didn't see a bone, but he was covered in so much blood. Reality came back to him like a hammer to the skull. He had just taken down a monster 5 levels higher than him; he just stood there and took its charge like a moron! He could have died!

"That was fucking awesome!" The voice of the Angel drew Ivan's attention away from his leg. She flew over next to him, her golden light soothing abit of the injury to his leg. "I tried to warn you, but then you turned around and went all badass! You smashed that things skull, then you both rolled for like 10 feet! Did that stop you? No, you got up and finished the fucking job!"

Ivan fell into shock, hearing the woman's telling of his battle. She was so animated about it, waving her hands about wildly. "That thing was level 5, and you took it down like a BOSS! You had to get like 4 levels from that!"

"Hey, what's your name?" Ivan interrupted the woman, trying to keep her from fangirling anymore. His leg was throbbing, though not as painful as it had been!

"My name? My name is Hildegund! I am one of the mighty Valkyrie! War and Battle!" She yelled out into the woods, raising her mace once more into a very heroic stance. "I am a guide for those mighty warriors who fall in glorious battle!"

Ivan let out a tormented groan as she went on, the pain putting him on edge. "Ok, Now shut the fuck up, Hilde!"