“11.14 seconds!”
While listening to the sound of her classmate calling out the time, Mikasa gasped for air with her hands on her knees. Having worked up a good sweat, she smiled to herself as she felt the adrenaline fading from her body after the 100-meter sprint.
That was my fastest time yet.
Mikasa couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride at the realization that she was getting stronger and stronger every day. The satisfaction of a good workout and encouragement from her classmates filled her with newfound energy, and she was almost ready to go back for another run.
That is, until she felt a large hand on her shoulder.
“Good work, Sawatari. You nearly beat the world record there.”
“Th… Thank you, Coach Egawa.”
Her P.E. teacher and coach of the girls’ track team, Hondai Egawa, handed her a towel and a water bottle, and after nearly downing the whole thing in one gulp, Mikasa finally managed to catch her breath.
“With your aptitude for sports, you’d really have a shot at the Olympics,” Coach Egawa continued. “And not just in the 100-meter sprint; you’ve scraped the record in the relay, high jump, and you would have beaten the long jump record if your legs were longer. A few more years of training, and you’ll be nabbing gold medals left and right. Work hard.”
“Yeah, I will. Thanks, Coach.”
With one last clap on her shoulder, Coach Egawa walked off while she wiped at her face with the towel. With her forehead buried in the cloth, she considered his words.
Mikasa has always excelled at sports for as long as she could remember. Even before her younger brother was born, she’d often go outside on her own to run around, climb trees, wave sticks around in mock fights with other boys, and pretty much anything that got her body moving. Her parents noticed her interests early on, and began encouraging her to watch sports programs and taking her to live games.
But when her brother, Yuu, was born, her interest in sports dimmed down to little more than a hobby as opposed to a serious pursuit. Instead, she began showing more care for him, insisting on being responsible for watching him when her parents were busy despite being just five years old. All of the sports equipment in her room was quickly replaced with toys and other baby products, just so he could safely come into her room to play. When he would cry during the night, it was her who woke up to feed him and change his diapers after being shown how by her parents, and all without a single complaint.
Mikasa truly loved her adorable baby brother, such that her parents jokingly worried that their job as parents was being stolen from them by their own child. It was both heartwarming and a little lonely that his first words were “Mee-gah” instead of “Mama” or “Dada”.
Even as Yuu grew up, Mikasa’s fawning did not wane even the slightest bit. She still went out of her way to spend time with him reading manga and other books, playing video games, and taking him out to eat or hang out. Allowing her to walk him to and from school every day was not a task her parents nor he were allowed to protest, and she would even have started bringing his lunch to him if they didn’t all band together and voice their complaints.
Still, Yuu had grown into a wonderful boy under his sister’s guidance and care. Despite her overly-affectionate attitude, he never treated her as a nuisance, and though they’d had their differences in the past, the two have never argued a single time. Mikasa firmly believed that she would gladly throw her life away for her younger brother without a second thought. That was just how much she loved him.
“Wow, Sawacchi, you were so fast!”
“You looked pretty cool while you were running too. That was a professional athlete-level face you put on just now.”
“Good work, Mikasa. Sensei’s right; keep it up and you’re headed straight for the Olympics.”
While deep in her own thoughts about her brother, the likes of which nearly causing her face to heat up, a trio of footsteps approached her along with matching voices. As she lowered the towel from her face, she laid eyes on three of her friends and classmates: Mio, Nari, and her friend from junior high Makoto.
She faced them with a cheerful smile and replied, “Thanks, guys. But it really wasn’t that special. It’s not like I broke a record or anything. Plus Sasano-kun is fast enough to get down to just under ten seconds. If anyone’s going to the Olympics, it’s him.”
“No need to be modest, Sawacchi~ But I don’t hate that kind side of yours either.”
“I certainly do.” Nari crossed her arms in response to Mio’s remark. “To think someone with your skill has the gall to play the modesty card. I’d totally punch you if it wouldn’t get me lynched by your fanclub.”
“Case in point,” Makoto said as she glanced at the mass of students staring at them, Mikasa in particular, from a respectable distance. Murmurs of admiration and praise drifted among the first, second, and even fellow third years lingering about the track.
“Amazing… Sawatari-san is really good at sports, isn’t she?”
“She’s only seventeen, and she’s already come close to beating records…”
“Damn, Sawatari’s so cool! Not only is she super smart, but even the guys have trouble keeping up with her during P.E.”
“Not to mention she looks freaking cute in her gym uniform. Thank god for bloomers!”
After hearing all of the (widely varied) praise directed her way, Mikasa smiled while chuckling awkwardly to herself. “Ahaha… well…”
Makoto clapped her on the shoulder similarly to how Coach Egawa did and began walking off. “C’mon, let’s go get changed before the next class starts. Wouldn’t want these guys to be late too because they couldn’t keep their eyes off you, Miss Perfect.” she said. The other two followed with smirks on their faces.
“I-Is it just me, or are you guys being super mean to me today?” Despite her slight protests, Mikasa walked with her friends to the girls’ locker room, where they changed out of their gym clothes and into their school uniforms. They fell into their usual friendly atmosphere as they chatted all the way towards their next class.
-----
“Pheeeeew~ Thank goodness.” Mio stretched her arms above her head as they walked through the halls. As the physically shortest of the group, the tips of her fingers barely reached the cheek of Nari, the tallest. “The last class of the day, finally. When I get home I’m gonna go shopping with my sister for a swimsuit. What about you guys?”
“Oh that’s right. Summer Break’s coming up soon, isn’t it? It’s been getting way too hot lately, even for summer,” Nari complained.
“Well that’s July for you,” Makoto said. “I’ll probably go shopping too, or maybe I’ll just reuse the one I got last year.”
Nari let out a sigh. “I’ll definitely have to get a new one. My old one broke like three weeks ago. What’re you gonna do, Sawatari?”
“Me? Well, uh…” Mikasa paused as they entered their classroom. The bell hadn’t rung yet, nor had the teacher arrived, so their conversation continued. “I’ll probably go shopping too.”
“Oh-ho, a shopping date with Yuu~?” Makoto teased.
“Yeah~ W-Wait no! I mean, yeah, but-!” Her remark sent Mikasa into a fluster, and as she frantically tried to correct herself, Mio and Nari chimed in.
“What else would you expect? Sawacchi loves her brother after all~”
“Yeah, a little too much if you ask me. With how much she talks about him, he might as well be her boyfriend. Frickin’ brocon.”
“Y-You guys really are being meaner than usual today! Did I do something wrong?! I’ll apologize, so just give me a freaking break here!”
The three girls burst into laughter at their friend’s expense while Mikasa pouted and sulked. Eventually they managed to cheer her up with half-hearted apologies, and she quickly steered the conversation away from her (totally nonexistent) brother complex. It was only a few minutes later that her cell phone suddenly began vibrating in her pocket.
“Hm? That yours?” Makoto, the first to notice among the group, pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow in Mikasa’s direction. The girl in question retrieved the device from her pocket and checked the caller I.D.
“Is it Yuu-chan~”
“Shush, you. It’s my mom.” She lightly tapped Mio on the head with her fist, silencing her teasing. “She usually sends a text if she needs to talk to me at school. And calls are for emergencies only.”
“Don’t suppose it’s an emergency then? Maybe you forgot something?” Nari asked.
“This late in the day? We’ll be going home in like an hour.” Makoto replied.
“Yeah, it’s weird… One sec, guys.” Mikasa walked a couple of steps away and answered the call. “Hello? Mom?”
Mikasa, honey...
Her mother’s voice was there on the other line, but it sounded strange. Her voice was strained, as if she were forcing the words out.
Can you come to the hospital…? The one near Yuu’s school.
“What, hospital, why? Mom, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Her melancholic tone and peculiar request unconsciously caused Mikasa’s heart rate to speed up slightly. Her grip on the phone tightened and she found herself leaning into it as a wave of dread swept over her.
Her voice, it sounded like she’d been crying.
It’s your brother, Mikasa. Yuu has been hospitalized.
*Crack*
Ding, dong, ding, dong
Dong, ding, dong, ding
Time seemed to blink out for a moment once she’d heard those words. The sound of her phone smashing against the floor after slipping from her grasp vaguely registered in her ears, but she’d been petrified frozen solid as her mother’s words echoed in her head like church bells alongside the Westminster Chimes of her school’s.
Yuu was… No, that can’t be right. Yuu can’t be… But she said…
The commotion had naturally caught the attention of not just her friends, but a number of students in the classroom. Watching her standing stock still with her back to them, the three exchanged a look before Makoto slowly walked up to her side. “Uh, hey. You okay, Mika-...sa…?”
On her flank, Makoto easily bore witness to the expression on her friend’s face. Wide, almost bulging eyes, face full of sweat like she’d run another 100-meter sprint, and shivering that only became apparent when her hand made contact with her shoulder.
Yuu has been hospitalized.
“I… have, to…” The words were so quiet that not even Mikasa herself could properly hear them, but her feet were already carrying her to the door before she could finish.
‘H-Hey, Mikasa?!’
‘Sawacchi?!’
‘Oi!’
The shouts of her friends didn’t register in her panic-addled state, nor did her collision with their Japanese History teacher after she’d flung the door open and leaped out of the room.
“Eh? Sawatari-kun, what’s wrong-”
His voice too was drowned out as she sprinted faster than she’d ever sprinted before down the halls of her school. She darted straight through the shoe lockers without stopping and burst through the front doors, and further still across the courtyard until she reached the entrance. The gate was still closed, but her body acted on instinct and kicked off the ground, calves sore from track practice searing with new fire as they carried her near the spiked top of the iron gate. In an expert display of athletic prowess, she pulled herself up and over in only three seconds, not even pausing to ensure her own safety against the sharp edges.
By the time her feet hit the ground, she was already moving again.
Onee-chan, Onee-chan! Look, look what I made at school today! It’s a crown, for you! Because Onee-chan is just like a princess!
“Haa…! Haa…! Haa…!”
Mmm… I dunno what I wanna be when I grow up. Ehehe, but whatever it is, I wanna stay with Onee-chan! Forever and ever!
“Haa…! Haa…! Haa…!”
Happy birthday, Onee-chan. I got this for you, see? Now, even if I’m not around, you won’t have to feel lonely.
…
…
I love you, Onee-chan. No matter what, that won’t ever change. Okay?
“Damn it…! What the hell is that supposed to…!”
Down the usual street she would take to get to Yuu’s school after her own let out, made easier since rush hour hadn’t quite come yet. Still, the sidewalks had pedestrians moving about, and she didn’t have time to properly wait for them to pass. Unapologetically shouldering her way through in a brutish manner that would have made her parents weep, Mikasa ignored the complaints and protests of those around her until she arrived at the crosswalk just before the hospital. Thus far, she’d gotten lucky with the lights, allowing her to pass almost as soon as she arrived at the curb. But this light had just turned red, forcing her to stop. Even with this brief respite, however, her hysteria hadn’t worn off in the slightest. In fact, her anxiety and desire to see Yuu only increased the longer she stood in place.
I don’t have time for this! Stupid light, hurry the fuck up!
An internal battle of emotion versus reason had already been waging in her head from the moment she stopped. She compared the risk of simply passing through the crosswalk while the pedestrian light was still red to the probability of being hit by a car, and weighed it against her own desire to see her younger brother.
If I get hit, I would either die on the spot or being seriously injured. Then not only would I never see Yuu again, but I’d end up causing more trouble for mom and dad.
I don’t care! I have to see him as soon as possible! I have to know if Yuu is-! Is…!
Hot tears stung at her eyes and blurred her vision as the former won the psychological struggle with little resistance. Her love for her brother was greater than her own desire to live; after all, she’d decided that from the moment he was born that she would gladly lay her life down to keep him safe. If this small risk would get her to him even a second faster, then it was more than worth taking.
And so, with absolutely no hesitation, she kicked off the curb and darted across the road.
“Huh?! Hey, wait-!”
“What the hell?! Are you crazy?!”
Unfortunately, luck did not smile down on Mikasa that day, as her rush to get to the other side as quickly as possible put her right into the path of an oncoming car. Even with her excellent reflexes, her body was already completely committed to running with her full strength, and as such there was no time to adjust and dodge.
In a sad and cruel twist of fate, Sawatari Mikasa was hit by a car on the way to see her brother at the hospital.
With what remained of her consciousness, Mikasa vaguely registered the sensation of hitting the ground. Her body was numb, but the pain hadn’t quite kicked in yet. Or maybe the impact was so severe that her brain was damaged on the spot, and she would soon die without having felt a sliver of pain at all?
How far was she from the collision site? She had no way of telling, as her neck refused to move. Distant shouts were the only indication that she’d been flung a good distance away from where she was hit. Or perhaps they were only distant because her mind was fading. She truly didn’t know.
The only thing she did know really, was that she’d taken a gamble and lost. And she was about to pay for it in the worst way possible.
Die? I’m… gonna die? No, I can’t… I still haven’t… seen Yuu yet…
*Fwip*
Suddenly, a strange sensation gently encased her face and shoulders. It was soft and warm, like that of a hug. Though she didn’t know what had caused such a sensation, she felt somewhat comforted by it as she was confronted with her inevitable demise.
Ah… I see… Yuu… is comforting me… He’s telling me… ‘Everything’s okay’...
Suddenly realizing what it was, Mikasa closed her eyes and accepted the warm sensation that she’d managed to identify. It was the scarf she’d kept in her school bag. She hadn’t even been aware that she brought her bag with her when she ran out of school, but it was likely thrown into the air from the impact and broke open, and the scarf fluttered down onto her from above. It was a gift for her birthday.
Yuu had given it to her that morning as she walked him to school. Though it was much too hot for a scarf, being the middle of July, and her birthday was actually tomorrow, she promised to cherish it almost as much as she cherished him.
She hadn’t even had a chance to wear it yet.
Yuu… Yuu… Yuu… Yuu...
She continued chanting her brother’s name as the tears of frustration that had built up earlier spilled out as tears of sadness and regret, streaming down the sides of her face in thin trails. Her vision had long faded, as did her hearing, and soon her sense of touch would follow. She knew that her time in this world was nearing its end, and it was only then that all of her regrets began to surface.
When was the last time she told Yuu that she loved him? That she hugged him or kissed his forehead? When had she done the same for her parents? Had she ever thanked the ones that brought her into this world and raised her to be the person she is now? Why hadn’t she told her friends what was going on? Nari had a car and a license, and could have easily driven them to the hospital, but instead she let herself get overcome with emotion and ran off on her own. Now she would get no chance to say goodbye; not to them, nor her parents, and, worst of all, her most important person, Yuu.
I’m sorry…
And with that last thought, the world came to an end.
That was how the girl known as ‘Sawatari Mikasa’ lost her life. But this was far from the end of her story. No, this was only the beginning.
-----
When Mikasa once again became aware of herself, she slowly opened her eyes. For some reason, she was standing upright inside of a room so large that she could not see any walls or a ceiling. In fact, endless blackness surrounding her on all sides made it feel more like she was standing in an empty void rather than any identifiable location. Just as she began to wonder what was going on, a large disembodied voice spoke to her.
[Sawatari Mikasa.]
“Eh?”
Rather than saying it ‘spoke’, it was more like something was directly projecting itself into her mind, as if the world itself was communicating with her.
[You, who has lived for 17 years, 11 months, 31 days, 14 hours, 43 minutes, and 7 seconds, Sawatari Mikasa.]
Needless to say, Mikasa was even more confused than she’d been when she awoke in this strange place. Who was the owner of this voice? How did they know her name, and exactly how long she’d been alive? Just what in the world was even going on?
“I definitely died, so… Is this purgatory? No, I’ve never committed a crime before. Nirvana?” It isn’t as if she believed in such things, but curiosity got the better of her, and she ended up voicing her idle thoughts aloud. What she wasn’t expecting was for the mysterious voice to answer her.
[Neither. Human concepts such as life after death are only that. Human. However, if such an explanation would placate your curiosity, then indulge in your beliefs and view this space however you see fit.]
“Um, then are you saying I can adjust what this place looks like? To make things easier?”
[Yes. I as well. My existence is nothing more than what you see; shapeless, formless, a nexus of interconnected dimensions serving no other purpose than to guide souls between them to be reborn. However, I am able to transubstantiate according to the will of wayward souls.]
Mikasa nodded. It made sense, for whatever it was worth in this absolutely ridiculous situation. This entity existed outside of everything, and guided the souls of people who’ve died in one world into another. In other words-
“Reincarnation. Huh, so Buddhism had it right after all.”
[Buddhism is a flawed concept. Nirvana does not exist.]
“It doesn’t? Then what would you call this world we’re in now? I don’t have a body, so I don’t feel any suffering, nor do I have any particular desires. And as long as I don’t enter a dimension, I won’t reincarnate, right? Sounds pretty Buddhist to me.”
[...This is not a “world”. It is a nexus of interconnected dimen-]
“Okay okay, sorry. I didn’t mean to get into a religious debate.” Mikasa waved her arms dismissively, worried about arguing with a being that apparently represented the very ground she stood on. “So I just have to imagine something, right? If this is life after death, then I guess it’d be better if I saw this place as Heaven.”
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what Heaven might look like. She more or less believed that everyone had their own interpretation, and hers was that of a small office room, brightly illuminated by a warm, gentle light from outside. Though this wasn’t exactly how she saw life in Heaven, but rather where this kind of conversation would take place.
Instantly, the space warped, colors spilling, mixing, coalescing, and spilling again as the image in her mind slowly took shape. Faster than she could say “whoa”, she found herself standing in a small office-like room, with filing cabinets and shelves full of papers lining the walls, and a large wooden desk sitting directly across from her at the end of the room.
Seating behind the desk was perhaps the tallest man Mikasa had ever seen, with long, flowing white hair and a matching beard that disappeared down into his lap. Wrinkles lined his face and she could just make out thin, boney features protruding from underneath his robe. Seemingly for no other reason than aesthetic effect, a long oaken staff rested against the desk at his side.
“You envisioned the Christian interpretation of the good after death,” the man spoke, cutting her off before she could ask who he was. “Where the righteous, incorrupt, and rectitudinous reside after their mortal lives come to an end. Known also as ‘The Promised Land’, this state of existence is most commonly known for being the abode of-”
“God,” Mikasa finished. She stepped further into the room with the realization that this was the being she’d been speaking with, or at least a visual representation of it. A smile tugged at her lips at the thought that this really did make things easier for her to digest. The huge dark space she’d been in moments ago was overwhelming, and even a tad unsettling. Inside this small office, with bright light illuminating it from outside, she didn’t feel quite so alarmed or on edge.
“This is the form I determined would be most appropriate in conjunction with your conceptualized interpretation of the afterlife. If this form does not meet your standards, you are free to alter it as you like.”
“N-No, it’s fine. Geez, you sure use some big words…” Mikasa grumbled as she scratched her head while trying to make sense of what the being had just said. “So basically, you’re saying that you turned into ‘God’ because I turned this place into ‘Heaven’? Something like that?”
“Rudimentarily, yes. If referring to me as ‘God’ will allow you to more easily understand and accept your circumstances, then by all means, do so.”
“Right, then if you don’t mind, that’s what I’ll do. So, God, what happens now? I more or less grasp the situation. Am I going to be reincarnated now?”
“The purpose of the existence of this nexus, my existence, is to guide the souls of those that have perished in one reality to be reborn in another. Concepts such as predetermined life spans and ethically-influenced fates mean nothing. There are no rules, expectations, nor exceptions.”
So no matter when, where, or how you die, and no matter what you did in life, you’ll end up in some other world, huh. So many people would have their minds blown if they heard this.
God reached over and picked up the oaken staff, then waved it through the air. It was an unnecessary action, but one that was also apart of the conceptualization process. The space in front of Mikasa distorted along with the swishing motion of the staff until it formed a strange portal. It looked less like a traditional opening in the air, and more like the space in front of her was roughly torn open to reveal what lay beyond what she could see with her eyes.
“Your realm has been decided. This is the reality you will be reborn to when you next awaken.”
Mikasa didn’t respond, as her eyes were drawn into the rift and the images it displayed like a slideshow. They were colorful snapshots of bright vistas, verdant forests and sprawling dirt roads. The shots seemed to follow one, taking her through a dark thicket with glimpses of shadowed creatures she hoped were merely deer or wolves. The portal's images emerged onto a wide city unlike anything like Osaka, Tokyo, or even something you'd find in the sticks, and much more akin to some fantasy show she'd watched on NicoNico with Yuu.
Closer, she got to see the specks on the city's outskirts come into view. They were going about plowing their huge fields and gardens with horses and oxen, tending to gardens of fruit and vegetables, all while dressed in strange rags; none of which were jeans or nylon shirts or designer makings. It was all canvas, leather, and simple cloths. That's when she noticed their features, and their distinctly western faces. Brown, black, and bright blonde hair topped their heads, but so too did wild variants like blue, purple, even white on not just the elderly. The sight alone was enough to make her head spin.
The portal shifted onto the city proper, and she got to see even the cityfolk were like cosplayers. Shimmering knights. Smiling families. Shifty-eyed lowlives in the alleys and bars. An entire city of alien quality to her own upbringing. And above them all, a fortress towered high on its hill, watchtowers perched like skyscrapers with the tallest at the castle's center.
Even though she was just told that this was an alternate reality, none of it felt “real” at all. It was a fabrication, like looking into the contents of a storybook and seeing it come to life, but still understanding in the back of your mind that it was all just that, a story. She couldn’t imagine actually going there and being apart of it all…
“...!!!”
That was when the situation finally caught up to her; she was dead. She’d been hit by a car and died shortly after, and now she was about to be ripped away from the reality she’d known all her life and taken to some strange, faraway place.
She would never again see her friends, or her parents, or the rest of her family, and most heartbreakingly, her little brother, Yuu. She never even learned why it was that he was hospitalized...
“Wait!” Mikasa shouted with a start as the circumstances of her death returned to the forefront of her mind. If she had truly died, if she was truly meant to spend a second lifetime in an entirely different world from her own, then she at least needed to know one thing.
She stepped around the portal and marched right up to the desk. “You, you know everything that goes on in all of these dimensions, right? That’s how you knew my name, and exactly how long I was alive, and even things like human religion, right?”
“...”
“Then tell me what happened to Yuu!” she screamed, slamming her palms against the desk’s surface. The motion caused the scarf that she hadn’t realized had been wrapped around her neck at some point to flutter behind her. “Is he okay?! Did he die too?! Where is he going?! If he’s dead, then take me to wherever he’s going!”
“...”
“Answer me, damn it!”
“I refuse.”
“What?! Why-”
“Sawatari Mikasa. You will now be reborn.” With another wave of the staff, the portal exploded into a powerful vortex that ripped Mikasa away from the desk. It took everything she had to plant her feet on the ground and not be immediately sucked in.
“Wait! I said wait a minute!!!” she tried to protest, but the two fluttering ends of her scarf were easily pulled into the vortex and began strangling her. Still, she didn’t stop fighting against the force of the vacuum and continued shouting at God. “No!!! I don’t want this!!! Take me back!!! I have to go back!!! I have to see him!!!” As the force of the suction became too much for her to bear, she gripped the part of the scarf pulling on her neck and yanked it down, freeing her airwaves for one final, desperate shout to the heavens. “YUUUUUU!!!!!!!!”
The last of her strength dissipated, and as the portal began to close, she briefly caught a glimpse of God as he closed his weary eyes and whispered,
“My part is finished. The rest is up to you now. Good luck.”
While saying ominous words that didn’t seem to be aimed at anyone in particular, God’s form, along with the office-like space, slowly faded away.
-----
Silence.
Blackness.
Loneliness.
Mikasa could not see, nor could she move a muscle. Somehow or other, she’d found herself trapped inside another endless black void. But this one was different from the one where she met God. Instead of the feeling that the void was endless and expansive, this one gave her a sense of confinement, like she was stuck inside of an extremely tiny box. She didn’t have claustrophobia, but it was nerve-wracking to consider the possibility that something went wrong.
How long had she been here? She hadn’t been keeping track, but she estimated that at least a few hours had gone by before she became aware of herself once more. Or maybe it had only been a few minutes? Her sense of time was practically non-existent in this enclosed space. She couldn’t even open her mouth.
What frustrated her more than her inability to move or speak, however, was the recollection of her meeting with God. The being that managed realities like a damned traffic guard had refused to tell her about Yuu’s circumstances, even though it was her last request. The fact that he had known the one thing she wanted to know more than anything in the world right now, and yet had withheld it from her, irritated her to no end.
Once again feeling the rage bubbling inside of her, she forced a scream up through her throat in the hopes that her frustrations could be released and allow her to think clearly again.
To her surprise, a strange pop! resonated through her body, as if someone flipped a light switch and the world around her suddenly blinked into existence as a result. Instantly, the violent rush of pouring rain and the boom of distant thunder filled her ears, the sensation of cold air and moisture sticking to her skin and making her shiver, and the scream she’d built up erupted as a strong cry from her own mouth. But it sounded strange.
Huh? What’s going on? Where am I? And why is it raining so hard?! I know it’s the rainy season, but it was completely sunny today!
She still couldn’t move, but with what her limited vision could see, she appeared to be inside of a wooden box, wrapped in some kind of blanket. But again, a strange feeling overcame her. Why was the box so tiny? Surely she shouldn’t be able to fit in something so small.
Though the rain was beating down and the winds were blistering like she was in the middle of a typhoon or a hurricane, she seemed to be shielded by an umbrella, keeping the elements from directly hitting her. She didn’t know how the umbrella was managing to stay so stationary in the midst of the storm, but her mind was focused on more pressing matters.
Who the heck put me in a box and covered me with an umbrella? Don’t they know that that’s dangerous in a thunderstorm?! No, that’s not important right now. More importantly, where am I? And why is everything so strange? It’s almost like I’m-
*Creaaaak*
The sudden sound of creaking, like that of a large door opening slowly, interrupted her thoughts. Hard as it should have been to make out in the cacophony of the storm, somehow she was able to hear it clearly.
Just as clear was the voice that followed. “What’s this?”
It was a woman’s voice, and sounded rather young. Perhaps in her early to mid twenties? Mikasa decided to ask her for information, or at least for help getting out of the box. But when she opened her mouth…
“Gahh, abbabuu, ugaa.”
…
...What.
“Ugubaba, haagu!”
Why the hell am I babbling like this? My mouth isn’t moving the way I want it to! This is so weird…
The woman had heard the strange noises and approached the umbrella with a confused look on her face. Gently, she lifted it up to see the box, and the infant inside of it, underneath. “Huh?”
Uwah! She’s huge!!!
The moment she did, Mikasa was shocked to see the giant form of a woman in a nun’s outfit staring down at her. Not only her, but having the umbrella removed allowed her to see what was around her, and with it came a horrifying revelation.
Not just her, EVERYTHING’S huge!!! ...No, it’s not that they’re huge. I’m just... small? Wait a minute…
A chilling thought suddenly entered her mind. Slowly, she raised a hand to her face in order to feel it. However, she didn’t even have to go that far, as the moment her hand entered her field of vision, she nearly screamed.
NO WAY! I’M A BABY?!?!?!
“And who are you, Little One?” the woman said in a soothing voice as she knelt down. Her large face being in such close proximity made the already-panicking Mikasa flinch. As she spilled into a mess of frightened gibberings, the woman’s smile faded as she glanced about.
A few moments later, she let out a small sigh, then smiled as she faced the infant once more. “You must be cold from being out in this weather. Why don’t we go inside and I’ll fix you up some yummy porridge?”
I don’t want food, lady! I want answers! Why the hell do I have to be a baby?! Wasn’t I supposed to lose my memories after reincarnating?!
“Agababa buu! Gapaa baabba ugagaa!”
“Fufu, yes I’ll make it extra delicious just for you.”
That’s not what I said!!!
Obviously not understanding baby-talk, the woman giggled as she scooped up the box and carried it inside along with the umbrella. As she shut the door, Mikasa caught a glimpse of a symbol on the wall.
A cross? Looks just like one from Earth. I didn’t want to believe it, but that must mean this really is a church. But if that’s the case... What kind of dumb cliché is this?! Left in a box on the steps of a church in the middle of a thunderstorm at night?! Don’t mess with me!!! This is God’s doing isn’t it?! Did you really just drop me in without any parents because it was more convenient or something?!
As Mikasa whined both internally and externally, a pair of nuns approached the woman with worried looks on their faces. The smaller of the two, a girl with dark brown hair and big green eyes, spoke first. “M-Miss Bernade-”
“Bernadetta!” Cutting her off, the other woman stepped forward. With hands on her hips, fluttering blond hair and sharp eyes of the same color, she glared daggers at the woman holding a box and an umbrella.
“Henrietta, I know what you’re going to say-”
“WHAT, is that?” Henrietta continued regardless, jabbing a finger at Mikasa. She didn’t notice the infant glare back. “A baby?! I really hope you’re not about to do what I think you’re going to do.”
“It’s been abandoned,” Bernadetta said as she cradled the box closer to her chest, giving Mikasa a great view of her feminine features and beautiful light-brown hair from below her chin. “Someone left it on the steps. I couldn’t just leave it in the rain, cold and alone.”
“So what, you plan to keep it here? What’ll you feed it? We barely have enough for ourselves, and that’s only because of my job and Josefine’s volunteer work!”
“I-I know that. I’m planning to give it my portion of dinner tonight. As for tomorrow… I’ll figure something out.”
“Are you crazy?! Do you really think-”
“H-Hey, it’s okay!” The girl who’d been interrupted earlier, evidently named Josefine, seemed to sense the rising hostility and quickly cut in. “If Miss Bernadetta really wants to, then I think we can make it work somehow. What’s one more orphan in this lonely old place, right?”
“You all, seriously…” Henrietta put a hand to her forehead in exasperation. “Madam Brunhilde, you agree with me don’t you? That this is a horrible idea.”
All three of them turned towards the back of the chapel, where an old woman sat in a rocking chair, silent as the dead. Though Mikasa expected an old nun to be warm and open, this woman looked the opposite; darkened, almost corroded skin pulling on her already-sullen expression, and thick eyebrows that seemed to give her a permanently annoyed countenance.
Just from her face alone, Mikasa could tell what her answer was going to be. “I agree. The child should be handed off to an orphanage. We don’t have the means to care for it.”
Henrietta nodded in agreement. “See? Now hurry and take it out of here. I have to go to work in the morning, and I don’t need a sniveling ball of crap bawling its eyes out all night and keeping me up.”
Mikasa’s scowling face deepened at the harsh comments being slung at her. Even if the woman didn’t know she could understand her, couldn’t she show a bit more consideration for the fact that she was saying mean things about someone who’s right in front of her?
As Josefine deflated in disappointment, Bernadetta stepped forward determinedly. “Madam Brunhilde!” she exclaimed. Her eyes were glaring with challenge, ready to argue with her on the subject.
“But,” However, the old woman waved her off, seeming unconcerned as she stood from her chair and proceeded towards a back room. “The final decision is not mine to make. Bernadetta owns this church, and thus is free to do with it as she likes.”
“What?!”
“Yes!”
The two other nuns gave opposite reactions to the news, while Bernadetta let out a relieved sigh and looked down to the infant in her arms. Tiny, ugly, and utterly fragile, its innocent eyes gazed up at hers with a look of curiosity and wonder. The sight stirred feelings within her that she hadn’t experienced in a long, long time, and a gentle smile spread across her face as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Did you hear that?” she whispered. “You’re all mine now, babe. I’ll keep you safe and make sure you grow up as best as you possibly can. No, even better. I promise from the bottom of my heart, nothing’s gonna stop you.”
W-Whoa…
‘This woman is amazing.’ Mikasa thought to herself. She looked so young, and yet seemed ready to take on the world for her sake. Even with the memories of her previous parents still fresh in her mind, Mikasa couldn’t help but start to care for the woman a bit. Was it just the effects of subconscious imprinting because she was a child? She didn’t know, nor did she care.
So this woman, who’s nearly crying for a child she’s just met, is going to be my new mom... If that’s the case, then… I’m okay with that. Bernadetta… Mom… If you really are a good person, then... I promise I’ll do my best to make you proud.
Josefine watched the silent exchange of promises with shimmering eyes, and after a few moments decided to break the silence with a question. “So! What’s its name?”
“Eh?” Bernadetta looked up at her quizzically, then tilted her head as she considered the question. However, Henrietta stepped forward while shaking her head.
“Whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean ‘what’s its name’? You can’t go naming it if you don’t know its gender first!”
“Oh-ho~ Why do you care all of a sudden, Miss Henrietta? Weren’t you the one who was telling Miss Bernadetta to take it out of here just a minute ago?”
“W-Well that’s… I-It wasn’t like… I mean, it’s not like I have a choice in the matter regardless! You heard Madam Brunhilde, this place belongs to Bernadetta. And if you’re going to raise the little piss ball either way, I’d rather it not get a poor name and throw a tantrum day after day because of it. I can already tell I’m gonna lose sleep over the next few months, and I’d rather not have to lose any more just because you can’t name it properly. Hmph!” She crossed her arms and turned her nose up, sneering to herself.
Oh. So she’s one of ‘those’ types, huh. A tsundere.
“So what, are you saying you wanna pick the name?” Josefine asked.
“What I’m saying is, check if it’s a boy or a girl first!”
“Eh?! Wait, hold on-” Ignoring Bernadetta’s protests, Henrietta reached for the blanket covering Mikasa’s body and pulled on it, unfurling it slightly to reveal part of her nude self underneath. However, it wasn’t Mikasa’s gender that the three of them focused on at that moment. In fact, even Mikasa’s eyes widened in surprise to see Henrietta holding onto the edge of one of her most important possessions.
“It wasn’t a blanket that was covering it, but… a scarf? That’s strange.” she remarked as she inspected the part she grabbed ahold of.
Eh… that’s… the scarf Yuu gave me… Wait, but- but why is it here too?
She vaguely recalled the scarf appearing sometime during her conversation with God, and how it was what practically dragged her into the portal that transported her to this world, but the school uniform she was wearing, along with everything else including her underwear, had vanished after she woke up. So why did the scarf arrive with her? Was that even an important question? Or was this simply some kind of accident that wasn’t of any significance to a higher being that managed souls for eternity? Was it just for sentimental value?
“Maybe its mama left it? Like as a gift or something?”
“Josefine, it’s a newborn,” Bernadetta said with an awkward smile. “I don’t think it’s quite ready to be wearing scarves this big just yet.”
“Okay, so then a hand-me-down,” Josefine frowned at having been contradicted. “Something she left to remember her by.”
“That might be it…”
“Well whatever,” Henrietta interrupted their theorizing as she grabbed another fistfull of the scarf. “More importantly, the gender…”
As Henrietta continued yanking in an attempt to remove the scarf from her body, a wave of panic suddenly swept over Mikasa. For some strange reason, she really, really didn’t want to be separated from it. It wasn’t that she felt as if something bad would happen if she was, but rather a strange feeling of monopolization; that the scarf belonged to her, and no one besides her was allowed to have it.
And so, with those feelings in her heart, she resisted.
Her tiny baby hands that couldn’t even move properly due to a lack of muscle development snagged onto the other end of the scarf still covering her and held it in place. But unfortunately, her strength couldn’t compare to that of an adult woman’s and Henrietta easily pulled it without much trouble at all.
“Ah, so she was a girl in the end.” Josefine noted as she poked her head around Henrietta’s flank.
“See? Now that you know that, you’ve avoided the possibility of giving her a boy’s name and her getting upset as a result. Fufu, you should thank me for intervening when I did, or else that could have been a disaster.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You were just curious to see for yourself, right~?”
“Wha-?! Tha, That’s not even remotely true!”
Neither of them seemed to take notice of Mikasa’s rising panic at the removal of the scarf. Her heart rate accelerated, and her breathing picked up as she began to hyperventilate in the face of this strange whiplash of emotions.
“Haa, haa, haa, haa…!” Over and over she panted, until her head began to feel dizzy. The thought of losing that scarf, of having her only memento of her precious younger brother Yuu taken away, never to return to her. Did that mean Yuu would never return as well? Did losing that scarf mean losing Yuu?
She wouldn’t accept that. She would never accept something like that.
“...” Bernadetta watched in silent worry as the child began acting strangely. It was already strange enough that, as a newborn, she hadn’t made much noise at all aside from the adorable babbling just before she brought it inside. It didn’t seem afraid of the pouring rain or crashing thunder at all, and even in the presence of strangers didn’t show any fear.
But all of a sudden it seemed to become distraught for seemingly no reason. Or perhaps not, as the change in behavior only really happened after Henrietta had tugged the scarf away.
Was that it? Did it have some kind of attachment to the scarf?
Surely it was worth a try, at least. “Um… Henrietta.”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Do you think… you could give her back the scarf? I don’t think she likes it when she’s separated from it.”
“Hah? What’s that?” Henrietta once again looked down at the scarf in her hands. She raised an eyebrow, clearly not seeing what the big deal was. “Isn’t it better to get a proper blanket? What if she pees and ruins this thing?”
“No, that’s not the point I’m trying to make…”
Mikasa could feel her head throbbing and her mouth becoming dry. What were these sensations? Was this what drug addicts felt during long periods without their next dosage? What was the word… withdrawals? All she could think about was how she needed to have it back. She needed to have Yuu back. The thought of losing him… of never being able to see that adorable little smile or hear his wonderfully cute voice…
Something rose from deep inside of Mikasa, something that had been building up from the moment she received that phone call from her mother. And once it reached a peak, it erupted.
And Mikasa began to cry.
“Uwahhhh~!!!! Wahhhhh~!!!!!!” From the perspective of the three nuns, the infant had suddenly burst into tears and was crying its little eyes out. While this would have made sense for a regular newborn, this child was clearly composed just a minute ago.
“The scarf! Hurry, give her the scarf!”
“W-Why?! It’s just a scarf, isn’t it?! Why does she care so much about-”
“Henrietta,” Bernadetta’s voice suddenly became ice cold as she stared at the blond-haired nun. “Give it back to her. Now.”
“R-Right…” The command was obeyed without any further resistance, and in the next moment Mikasa was clutching the fabric with everything her little body had, relief mixing with despair to force the tears out harder as she buried her face in it.
“Shhh, sh sh sh… It’s okay… Everything’s fine…” Bernadetta cooed as she gently rocked the box back and forth in order to calm her. Eventually, Mikasa did settle down into light sniffles, and the chapel was bathed in silence once more save for the muffled rain.
G-Geez… I can’t believe I just cried my eyes out in front of all these adults. What am I, a little girl? Well, I guess I AM technically a baby… Still, it’s pretty pathetic considering I’m still seventeen on the inside. How embarrassing...
“I think she’s alright now.” Bernadetta finally spoke after Mikasa went silent. The other two, not willing to go against her wishes at this point, finally spoke.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- you know, um… Sorry.” First was Henrietta’s apology, accompanied by a deep bow. Josefine quickly responded by patting her on the shoulder.
“I-It’s alright! At least we know not to do that anymore, right? Heh heh…” she said, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood. When it was clear that it didn’t work, she cleared her throat and changed the subject once more. “K-Kuhum. So, now that we know her gender, back to my question. What’s her name?”
“Right. Her name.” Bernadetta once again fell into thought as she considered the question, and the others soon joined in. Various ideas were offered, but all were rejected by one of the three. After half an hour had passed, it was clear that the three couldn’t come to a consensus even if their lives depended on it. At the same time though, Bernadetta didn’t seem willing to choose a name that the others didn’t like either, so they fell into an endless cycle.
Annoyed, Mikasa decided to break this cycle so that all of them could get on with their lives.
I’ve got baby stuff to do you know! If you three can’t decide on something as simple as a name, then I’LL do it. And what better name than my last one?
“M- Me-, Meeee-, Meh.”
…
…
Stupid baby mouth.
Still, she kept trying, repeating the syllables to herself over and over until it began to sound more natural. Eventually, the three began to take notice and watched in wonder as she sounded out the words.
“M-Meee… G-Ge, g-, ga…”
“No way. Is she… talking?”
“Shh.” Bernadetta shushed Josefine, and they continued to watch carefully.
“Mee-g-g...gah…! Mee-gah! Haa… Haa… Haa…”
That took… almost all my energy to say… Why is trying to say actual words so damn tiring…?
“...?? Anyone catch that? Because I sure didn’t.” Josefine said with a shrug.
“I’m not sure. It sounded like she said something like ‘Miiga’ or something. Is that the name her mother gave her?”
“Fufu, maybe it’s because the both of you have yet to become parents yourselves. I heard her perfectly clearly, in my heart.” Bernadetta smiled warmly as she gazed down at her child still catching her breath in preparation to continue with the rest of her name.
“Eh? Seriously?! What is it, what is it~?”
“H-Hmph! Of, of course I heard what she really said! I was just... testing you guys, to see if you heard it too! Bu-but if you insist on being the one to say it, then so be it.”
“You see, what she said wasn’t ‘Miiga’...”
Finally ready to continue, Mikasa took a deep breath and started speaking. “Mee-gah-”
“But in fact, ‘Micah’!”
“-SAH?!?!?”
“Oh, I see~! So that’s what she said. As expected of her mother, you understood her so well!”
“F-Fufufufu~ I can’t believe you actually figured it out. Of course, I knew all along it was Micah.”
“Okay, Micah? Don’t worry, we understood you loud and clear.”
The hell you did!!! You don’t understand at all! My name’s not MICAH, it’s MIKASAAAA!!!!
“Gaaaahhhh!!!”
“Oh, that’s right. You must be starving. I’m so sorry, Micah. Let’s go get you that porridge now, okay?”
“Ooh, I’ll help! Gosh, little Micah’s such a cutie~”
“Hey, we have work tomorrow, Josefine! ...B-But I guess for Micah’s sake, we can stay for a little bit longer.”
As the three nuns headed for the next room, Mikasa- no, Micah, could do little more than let out cries of anguish both with her new infantile mouth and inside of her own head.
God, why? No, seriously God, why did you put me with this pack of nutjobs?! Couldn’t you have just made me some noble’s daughter? Or maybe even born to an elf in hiding? ANYTHING but this!
Then, miraculously, almost as if in spite from God himself, a piece of the roof just above the trio caved in from the storm, sending a small shard of wood crashing down to smack against her forehead. It didn’t particularly hurt, nor was the fragment big enough to cause major damage, and yet, as she began to get drenched with rainwater from the newly formed opening…
...
...
...
GOD DAMN ITTTTT!!!!!
For the second time that evening, the chapel’s muffled silence was filled with cries of despair.