Chapter 13: Bootleg Batman
Adam’s POV
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SHIT! WHAT DO I DO!?
The footsteps kept getting closer, and my mobster instincts kicked in. I rushed toward the window, slammed it open, ready to make a daring escape... only to realize I was on the fourth floor. Dropping down from here would definitely break my kneecaps, especially in this kid-sized body. No time to admire the view, every second counted.
WHAT IN THE FRICKEN HELL DO I DO!?
I scratched my head, took a quick peek out the window, and went, "Eh, whatever. Time to roll the dice!"
You know, chaos runes are like my own little set of mystery dice. No rulebook, just hoping for a critical hit. I still don’t know what the actual effect of the runes are, and until Nove figures it out, I can only use them as a game of chance. I threw on a couple of support runes on myself, hoping that they’d stack,
Please give me a NAT 20.
Rune of Sul Effect: Camouflage.
Rune of Sul Effect: Failed.
Rune of Sul Effect: Failed.
Well, would you look at that? As expected, only one rune at a time. And what's this "camouflage" thing anyway?
And just like a wizard responding to a desperate prayer, poof! I slowly went invisible.
HECK YEAH! NAT 20 ON MY DICE ROLL, BABY!
Alright, so they might have some kind of fancy schmancy ability to spot invisible folks, and if they do, I'm toast. So, just for giggles and to keep 'em on their toes, I figured I'd toss down a rune of disaster. Hey, what's the worst that could happen? Famous last words, right?
So, I etched the Rune of Disaster (Del) onto the floor and boom! It lit up like a Christmas tree.
Rune of Del Effect: Shockwave.
Shockwave? Like, a non-lethal explosion or something?
No sooner had that thought crossed my mind, I found myself airborne, along with everything else in the room. I landed with a thud near the corner, and just like clockwork, the door swung open with a resounding bang. Smooth move, Alper, real smooth.
Some flashy armored folks barged into the room Some of them were dressed up as ninjas too, led by a dude with long red locks. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost before blurting out a choice curse. Then, a mix of anger and concern flashed across his face as he made a beeline for the window I'd popped open.
“Alper, What are you doing? That’s Erza your teacher, he’s here to bring you back.” Nove chimed in.
Nove, please shut up. There ain’t no way I’m goin back right now.
I reckon Nove sensed my stubbornness 'cause she clammed up real quick. I slunk into the corner, quietly observing the chaos unfold. I didn't recognize these folks, but Erza seemed to know me.
Erza seemed on a mission, barking orders to his crew before leaving us alone in the chaotic room. My invisibility was like a ticking time bomb, so I figured it was high time to sneak away while he was busy snooping around.
Our eyes met for a split second, and faster than you can say "Bazinga," he whipped out his blade. The metallic symphony echoed through the room as the sword materialized in his grip, pointing menacingly in my direction.
"If you won't show yourself, I'll slice this room in half," he declared, scanning for any sign of me.
Now, I don't know if that was an empty threat or a cold, hard fact, but I wasn't planning to stick around and find out. Just as I was about to make my grand escape, a pop-up window appeared right in front of me.
"Rune of Sul duration ending in 4 seconds."
Aw, shit.
On my toes, I hurled a rock towards Erza and swiftly activated the soul frame to conceal my identity. Erza slashed through the incoming projectile with the finesse of a seasoned warrior, while Nove bombarded me with questions about the mysterious armor's origin.
However, my little performance took a nosedive as the camouflage spell fizzled out, leaving me exposed to Erza's piercing gaze. "Who are you?" he demanded, pointing his blade my way. "Are you the assassin after Alper? Where is he?"
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Well, at least they caught wind of the attempted assassination, though they seemed blissfully unaware that it was orchestrated by a 15-year-old who was jealous that I got bitches before him.
Attempting to emerge from my corner, Erza swung his sword, unleashing a gust of wind that obliterated a chunk of the building. Dang, was this guy an anime swordsman? or did he boast an absurd 100 strength stat? The shock was real, and I silently thanked my lucky stars for the anonymity provided by my trusty helmet.
Erza, once again brandishing his blade, delivered a stern ultimatum, "You'd find it easier to live if you come to us willingly and tell us everything you know. Otherwise, there are about 13 soldiers in this building and 16 more surrounding this area, as well as 300 more soldiers who have almost arrived in this town. There is no escape."
He pointed the menacing blade my way, demanding, "Who are you?"
Well, buddy, I've pulled off disappearing acts from nearly a thousand people in my prime. A few hundred who haven't even reached the scene? Child's play. Besides, they need me alive for intel extraction. No need to sweat it.
Inhaling deeply, I decided to grace him with an answer, simultaneously scrawling a Rune of Disaster behind me on a wall. In my deepest, most serious voice, I proclaimed, "I'm Batman."
Rune of Del Effect: Explosion.
In an instant, the wall detonated, sending both of us flying. Before Erza could make heads or tails of the situation, I made a swift exit through the conveniently blown-up window.
“NOVE, SWAP THE WEB NODE WITH THE DIRT NODE!”
“Affirmative.”
With Nove's approval, I shot as much web as I could from my fingers onto the nearby building, attempting to channel my inner Spider-Man.
The rush of being a makeshift superhero was short-lived as the webs quickly broke under my weight. However, they did manage to slow down my fall somewhat. I rolled as I reached the ground, but the triumphant feeling vanished when I heard a resounding, “GET HIM!”
Panicking, I hastily inscribed a Rune of Sul on myself.
Rune of Sul Effect: Ethereal
What the hell? Did I just gain the power to phase through objects or something? I saw a soldier in a ninja outfit chasing after me. In a split-second decision, I made a quick 90-degree turn and phased through the nearby wall.
Holy smokes, I'm like Danny Phantom. QUE THE DANNY PHANTOM OPENING THEME!
I phased through the building and unexpectedly stumbled upon an 80-year-old grandpa taking a bath. The poor man, shocked beyond belief, screamed like a banshee and accused me of being a pervert.
In response, I deadpanned, "Imagine the trauma I'm going through," as I phased through a couple more walls to the other end.
Suddenly, a ninja leaped at me as I emerged, but my quick reflexes allowed me to duck just in time. Unfortunately for him, he landed face-first into the wall behind me. Seizing the opportunity, I hastily inscribed a Rune of Disaster on his rear.
Rune of Del Effect: Zero G’s
His butt started floating upward, lifting him along with it, guided by his posterior. The indignant ninja shouted, "What did you do!? GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!"
With a casual shrug, I replied, "Hey, you win some, you lose some," and sprinted ahead.
More soldiers popped up ahead, attempting to block my path. Nonchalantly, I made a 90-degree turn and phased through the building once again. This time, there was no accidental intrusion into someone's bath, but I stumbled upon a rather unfortunate scene.
A 40-year-old man was making inappropriate advances on a girl, complete with cringe-worthy noises. Seizing the moment, I sprinted toward him, catching his attention too late.
“T-Trespasser!” he screamed, but destiny had other plans.
Rune of Del Effect: Extreme Diarrhea
The man's face twisted in agony, resembling someone who had just swallowed 200 lemons. As his pants suddenly became suspiciously heavy, he stumbled in the direction of the bathroom. The grateful girl looked at me with teary eyes and said, “T-Thank you… Can you give me your name, hero?”
"Just call me Captain Unforeseen Circumstances. Anyways, toodles," I declared as I ran off, phasing through more buildings.
Rune of Sul duration ending in 5 seconds.
Ah fuq.
I bolted out into an open road and spotted a lineup of motorbikes parked nearby. My initial thought was, "Holy crap, I can hotwire these bikes and ride to safety… wait, shouldn't I be more concerned about why this fantasy world has bikes? Eh, I don't care; I gotta get out of here."
As I dashed towards one of the bikes, a mysteriously packing some huge honagahoes ninja lady materialized in front of me. "You have nowhere else to run, little guy."
Quickly scribbling a Rune of Support on myself just in case, I activated its effect.
Rune of Sul Effect: Seductive.
Yo, holy crap, this effect might actually be legendary.
"Hey there, pretty lady," I said, attempting my deepest voice, and instantly, the humongous Honkers ninja lady started blushing.
"H-Huh? W-What? M-Me? P-Pretty!?"
"You're wearing a mask, but I can tell from here that you're absolutely gorgeous. Those eyes could rival the night sky and easily come out on top. If you ever get lost in space, mark my words, lady: if there are a billion stars in the sky, I'll spend my lifetime searching for those beautiful eyes."
My masterful seduction seemed to be working like a charm; her legs were wobbly, she was engaging in some inexplicable thigh friction, her breathing sounded like a marathon runner, and her face resembled a ripe tomato.
"H-Haha! N-Nice try, but I'm only interested in y-young boys!"
Oi what is this lady saying?
"I'm only 14 years old."
And just like that, a fountain of blood erupted from her nose, and she crumpled to the ground in a heap.
Another victory for the fuckbois
I darted toward a random bike, fervently hoping it operated like the ones I knew. Just to be safe, I sought Nove's advice.
"Nove, can you hotwire bikes?"
"Yes, but I must tell you, this is highly illegal what we're doi-"
"JUST DO IT!"
Nove did her thing with my metal weaving, and the bike roared to life.
Oh, how I've missed the sweet thrill of a bike ride.
I gripped the handles and swiftly rode the bike out of the danger zone.
I jotted down another Rune of Sul on the bike and struck gold once more.
Rune of Sul Effect: No noise.
Suddenly, all the bike noise vanished. Under the shroud of night, I steered the bike into the dark wilderness.
Also, As I drove off, I kept thinking how powerful these runes were, until Nove told me that I only had 240 NEP left in me, which less than half my entire NEP pool so I had to me careful with my NEP usage from here on out.