A few minutes later the ship was close enough they could see the crew had readied weapons, mostly spears, harpoons, and javelins. Only a couple had bows. Tatewaki, demonstrating rare insight, suddenly gasped. “The ship has no cannons!” Everyone turned to stare. “It has dinghies and the crew are armed with short range missile weapons, but there aren’t any gunports, no cannons on the deck!”
Akane blinked. Kuno was a delusional fool at the best of times, but he sounded genuinely confident in his assertion. She didn’t know what that meant , but no cannons sounded like a good thing?
Not that Ranma knew the importance either, but she scanned the ship and agreed that she didn’t see anything that looked like a cannon. The crew were well armed and keeping an eye on the group from Nerima, though some were looking closer at the water below the ship. Wasn’t that interesting?
A woman with a long braid and a conical straw hat stood on the bow. Sailors kept running up to her asking questions but her gaze never wavered. Ranma shivered as a chill ran down her spine: the woman’s aura was palpable from here.
Two dinghies, each crewed by six armed crew, splashed into the water and began rowing towards the shore. Flashing a confident grin at her friends, Ranma sauntered down the hill, hands palm out at her sides, to meet them. Something gnawed at Ranma as she scanned the approaching sailors. They were dressed in simple sleeveless linens, boots or sandals, armed with spears, scimitars, short swords, or…
One of them had a pistol. It was a shiny, curved tube of metal, nothing like the few handguns Ranma had seen before, but the trigger was obvious. That one took priority if a fight started. The martial artist’s laid-back attitude hardened as she set her jaw. Hand-to-hand weapons indicated a willingness to cause lasting harm, but guns were universally understood to be tools of death . She supposed they were dealing with pirates. Before they got closer, she scanned the crew on the ship again…and saw none of them holding guns. Were they too inaccurate to trust at range?
“Ho, stranger,” one of the pirates stood up in the dinghy. He was a squat, muscular, bare-chested man except for the thick blanket of curly black hair that covered his form. The bandana on his head reminded Ranma of her dad.
Keeping the gunner in the corner of her eye, Ranma replied with a simple “Hi.”
“I’m Whooping Ram,” he said as he stepped into the surf while the rest of his compatriots started dragging the boat onto the shore. Whoop advanced until he was about ten paces away from Ranma, who hadn’t moved. “We saw your party an’ had ta’ investigate, miss…”
“Ranma Saotome.” Was her brief reply. She thanked the kami these people spoke Japanese, especially since the man looked foreign.
The second dinghy, the one with the gunner, was pulled onto shore as well. The gunner was watching Ranma, not the others. Ranma hoped that meant her guess about gun range was right.
“If I may be so bold, Miss Saotome, ya seem awful fancy ta’ be stuck out in the middle o’ nowhere.” Ranma blinked, nobody had ever accused her of seeming “fancy” in her life, especially compared to wealthy folks like the Kunos or even middle-class people like Akane and her family. Sure, right now she was still wearing the clothes she’d worn to the funeral of the master of Anything Goes Martial Arts, but for her that just meant a black, sleeved tangzhuang sized for a man 15 centimeters taller than she was right now.
“Uhh…thanks? Not here by choice.” No elaboration, no further context. She’d answer any questions the guy had without offering additional information that he could use against them.
“Is yer ship on tha other side of the hill, ma’am? Would have to be awful small to hide.”
“No, we don’t have a ship.”
Whoop scratched his beard thoughtfully. The captain had shared her thoughts about that with him, so it wasn’t surprising, though it did mean that the only likely explanation had to do with the altar. Now that he was close enough to see it, he noticed that one of the pillars was broken. “I see. Didja arrive via tha’ altar then?”
“Probably. Again, not by choice. We woke up there this morning.”
Whoop grimaced. They sounded like test subjects, perhaps at the hands of some sort of vile sorcerer or power-drunk dynast. It made sense that they were a bunch of…well maybe not kids, but certainly not quite adults just yet. Different dress but similar features suggested they all came from the same place. Though, they found the treasure cache. And if they were forced to participate in some sort of ritual why would they have weapons?
Based on the short answers Miss Saotome was giving him, though, they weren’t planning on cooperating. “All right, then, Miss Saotome, I’m afraid I’m gonna have ta’ ask ya’ ta’ hand over anythin’ yer carryin’, accept bein’ bound, and come back with us to our ship.” His ultimatum delivered, he partially drew the short dao from its scabbard, hoping she understood his meaning.
Ranma was relieved : not only was fighting a bunch of pirates something she’d wanted to do since she read Space Pirate Captain Harlock , it was much less stressful than trying to talk to them. “Oh thank the kami, that makes this so much easier!” With a fluid motion she rushed into Whoop’s range before he could draw his sword and she slammed it back into its sheath, then twisted around him so that he was between her and the pirate with the gun.
The gun pirate had her weapon leveled at Ranma but didn’t fire for fear of hitting Whoop, and Ranma took advantage of that hesitation by throwing one of her shoes at the weapon itself. As soon as the improvised projectile left her hand she leapt up onto Whoop’s shoulders and jumped over the other pirates rushing her with melee weapons. Before the gunner could raise the weapon back up, Ranma delivered a series of finger jabs to her hand and forearm. The woman yelped as her fingers spasmed and dropped the pistol, which Ranma grabbed and flung into the ocean.
Now that the gun was out of play, the rest of Ranma’s party rushed down the hill. Shampoo crashed into a pair of pirates with a spinning kick, then dropped under their spears as they attempted to counter-attack. Displaying flexibility and speed comparable to Ranma’s, she dodged between them and slammed her fingers against the temples of one from behind. His eyes went wide as he dropped to the ground, stunned, and she quickly snatched the spear from his hand.
Ukyo didn’t want to waste her throwing spatulas so she met a dao-wielding pirate with her signature two-handed spatula instead. Whoop blinked and rubbed his eyes: he thought the oversized cooking utensil was an axe. Ukyo turned aside a slash and hefted her weapon. When the pirate raised her sword to block she caught a powerful kick in the solar plexus and went down with a wheeze.
She would have brought the spatula down on a spear-wielding sailor trying to attack her from the side if not for the ribbon that wrapped around the shaft of the weapon and dragged him to the ground as Kodachi expertly wielded her rhythmic gymnastics tools. Ukyo knocked him out cleanly with a strike to the back of the head. Neither woman acknowledged the other beyond an instant of eye contact.
Whoops thought that the boy with the wooden sword would be at some sort of disadvantage, or at least that his weapon would splinter as soon as he tried to block one made of proper steel or bronze. But as he closed on a crewmate with a jian he swung at a distance and the air pressure created by the speed of the swing pushed the pirate back and off his feet. Another dao-wielder came in swinging but Tatewaki deflected rather than blocked the blows, utilizing the flat of his blade. A decisive strike to the noggin put his attacker down.
Akane and Ryoga each slammed into the remaining sailors like bowling balls. Ryoga growled and flashed his fangs as he ducked under a pair of hook swords and delivered a powerful uppercut to a pirate’s jaw, then before his target could fly away he grabbed their leg and swung them bodily into two more, sending all three into a moaning heap.
In her black pinafore (she’d ditched the black jacket at the top of the hill, revealing the white sleeves of her undershirt) Akane leapt to dodge a hastily-swung trident and kneed a pirate in the face. Riding the dazed sailor to the ground she rolled into a low punch and hit another in the stomach, who dropped her jian and collapsed. Akane didn’t grab the sword, but she did grab its scabbard to slam against the back of the head of the second spear wielder facing Shampoo.
And then the fight was over, everyone either disarmed, thrown down, or knocked out, but nobody seemed dead. “C’mon, you couldn’t get through one conversation without resorting to blows?” Akane yelled, accompanied by a grumble of agreement from Ukyo.
“What? That guy was drawing his sword, and that one had a gun!” Ranma tried to defend herself.
Whoop hadn’t even unsheathed his sword again before the fight was over, rooted in place after Ranma used him as a springboard. Stunned by the display of effortless martial acumen, the thoughts racing through his head told him there could be only one explanation, which also so perfectly addressed their strange and varied appearances.
He dropped his sword, knelt, and bowed. “A thousand apologies, oh princes of the earth, if we knew ya’ were Exalted we’d’ve rolled out a proper welcome fer ya!” If he got out of this alive, he promised the gods who watched over his family’s ancestral resting place that he’d work on improving his diction.
An arrogant, condescending laugh from the one in the strangest clothes, some sort of clinging cloth that left basically nothing to the imagination, rang out for a moment before Miss Saotome quieted her. “Hey! He’s surrendered, we don’t need to rub it in, especially when they’re still waiting.”
Ranma gestured to the ship where the crew were now thoroughly riled up. Even from here she heard shouting. The stern woman on the bow eventually shouted at them to quiet down before she disappeared from view.
“Oh I’m sure The Mustang will be happy to provide whatever services your lordships require.” Whoop was breathing hard. He felt one of them pick up his dropped sword but dared not lift his head or protest.
“Wait, what’d you call us before?” Ryoga seemed shaken, excited. “That spider thing used that word back in the big house with the basement. Exalted? Exaltation?”
“Er…yes?” He peeked his head up and realized that none of his crewmates were dead, most were awake and relatively uninjured, their weapons collected in a pile behind the strangers. “Dragon-Blooded…” His eyes went wide and he started praying to any god who could hear his thoughts that they weren’t what he was afraid of. “A-a-a-assuming you’re not An-a-nathema, are you?”
All seven of them stared at him like he wasn’t the one making sense. Other members of his crew met his gaze, expressing similar degrees of confusion. Who didn’t know what Exalted or Anathema were? Where did these, these… children come from?
He heard a splash and risked looking behind him. Then he burst up to his feet and shouted. “Cap’n no! Don’ come over here!” Captain Ikka and Isu were alone in a third dinghy paddling over. He didn’t see any weapons on them — though Isu probably had a few knives hidden away — which meant the captain was putting herself in grave danger.
As she neared the shore she took a dignified step into the surf as Isu beached the dinghy. Ranma and the others could tell her presence lifted the morale of the sailors they’d defeated and didn’t like the idea of fighting her.
Fortunately, once she was within five paces of Ranma she stopped and bowed at the waist. “Captain Ikka of The Mustang . I’ve come to negotiate for the release of my crew, miss…?”
“Ranma Saotome. We don’t want your crew, we want to know where we are and how to get home, and maybe a ride if that’s possible.” Ranma didn’t think it was possible, but maybe they’d be lucky and they were just in a weird part of the world where everything made perfectly logical sense somehow. She didn’t need an explanation, she’d accept it.
Ikka looked around at her crew and whistled, impressed. “Here I thought 12 sailors was overkill, but I wanted to make sure we could haul some of our loot back to tha’ ship. Miss Ranma you and yours are quite the fighters. An’ I truly appreciate that you didn’t kill any of ‘em. If those are yer terms I agree, though y’all should know we’re pirates.”
Several of them rolled their eyes. That much was obvious. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, kids! Ya’ need ta’ understand what I’m trying to tell ya’. We get attacked by Realm patrols? They’re gonna consider you pirates too.” She didn’t care that they’d just turned 12 of her best fighters into pile of bruises, she would brook no disrespect from a bunch of kids.
“We don’t know what that means.” Ranma replied, frustratedly. “We’re…not from around here. If you’ve got a map we can probably figure it out.” By now none of the visitors from Nerima were hopeful a map would solve their problem. Realm? Pirates with swords? Panda person? Things weren’t adding up and Ranma’s outlandish ideas seemed more and more likely by the second.
Ikka nodded. “Sure thing, kiddos. Got maps back on the ship.” She realized that the strangers were…very strange. And they kept staring at Isu. Djala weren’t as common in the North or East, and she had no idea if they were on the Blessed Isle at the center of the world, but the way the kids were reacting to him? That spoke to a greater unfamiliarity than could be explained by mere geological distance.
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They decided to leave Ryoga, Shampoo, and Kodachi on the island so they could pack up and keep an eye on their gear, while the rest joined Captain Ikka, Isu, and Whoop on a dinghy back to the ship. The least injured pirates began moving some of the treasure from the cache to the remaining dinghies.
Whoop described the sequence of events from his perspective, as well as the group’s lack of familiarity with the term Exalted, and said they claimed to hear it from a talking spider. The whole thing made her head hurt and she resolved to talk to Doc Jara. She thanked whatever gods were watching over her that they weren’t Exalted: champions of the gods were nothing but trouble.
The crew wasn’t sure how to treat the newcomers. Most gave them vicious looks, some were awestruck, but all of them gave the group as much space as they could manage on the cramped ship. Ikka dismissed Whoop and led the rest below deck to her cabin. The six of them, Isu included, crowded the small room but managed to fit around a large circular table.
Ikka pulled out her biggest map, a print of the known borders of the world published by House Peleps around seven years ago, and plundered from an Immaculate temple. The political borders had shifted somewhat since its publication, but the geography would be good enough. She rolled it out on the table but didn’t even have to weigh down the corners before she saw the crestfallen looks on the kids’ faces.
“What, uh…what’s the scale on this?” Akane dared to ask.
Ikka pointed to the scale near the bottom of the map and realized that none of them could read it. “Ya can’t read High Realm? Odd, ya seem so posh.” She put an index finger on either side of the scale and said “Two thousand kilometers, thereabouts.”
There it was. Everybody from Nerima shared worried glances. Creation was a large world and not all of it could fit on a map, but she had no way to know that what she showed them was impossible. All of them had seen a map of Earth and nowhere looked like this.
“Do you have a globe?” Kuno asked, which got a puzzled look from the pirate captain.
“A globe? What kind of globe?”
“...One that shows the entirety of the Earth?” Even Kuno began to understand their predicament.
Now Ikka was looking at them like they were stupid. How could you fit Creation on a globe? That’d be confusing. “I don’t understand what you’re asking. This map covers almost all the way to the elemental poles in each direction, there’s not a lot of room left to hide anything.”
Nobody responded to her for several minutes as they processed. It was so much worse than they thought. They weren’t just in another time, or in a different part of the world. They weren’t even somewhere that was configured like their world.
Some of them tried walking around the table, looking at the map from different angles, hoping that if they reoriented the map something would look familiar. Of course, it didn’t help, it was just as alien and confusing from any angle, from any perspective.
Ikka wasn’t sure how to interpret their reactions. There were only a few reasons why they’d be so surprised about the shape of the world. Not just ignorant, surprised . They thought they knew what the world should look like, which meant they were somewhat educated. But they didn’t read High Realm, so it couldn’t be a Realm education, they should at least be able to read the numbers and basics like units of measurement.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Lemme test somethin’. Red, can you read this?” She grabbed a notebook from her desk, a simple log of places they’d been in the past few months, written in Low Realm, the language they were currently speaking. Ranma thumbed through the book and shook her head.
“Nope. Some of it looks like kanji but most of it doesn’t, and it doesn’t make any sense.” She passed it around but nobody else could read it. “Can I write in it? Maybe you’ll recognize our writing.”
Ikka gestured at the quill and inkwell on her desk. Kuno brightened up, traditional artifacts like that were one of his hobbies, but the rest eyed it with something akin to disdain and frustration. “I’ll handle this, my beloved.” Ranma rolled her eyes as Kuno took the book and began writing a few sentences in hiragana, katakana, kanji, simplified Chinese, and romaji.
The captain watched as he worked and was intrigued that he was educated enough to know multiple alphabets, but she didn’t recognize any of them. Ranma was right that they resembled the characters she was familiar with, but other than that slight resemblance there was nothing to give her context as to the meaning of the words.
There were very few explanations left. Caution told her to treat them as some sort of fair folk infiltration party. Human enough to fool natives of Creation at first glance, but that didn’t feel right. They were missing basic information about the world but they behaved like humans. That seemed backwards.
Which meant that she was dealing with a very unique opportunity. Seven highly-skilled fighters with absolutely no context of the world were dropped at her feet. They understood she was a pirate, but had something they couldn’t get from a lot of people: free passage aboard a ship. All she needed to do was take advantage of their lack of information.
Right now, though, the four in her private quarters were staring at each other, or into space, or curled up into a non-responsive ball. “If ya need a dinghy back to tha’ island so ye can tell yer friends feel free ta take one. Seems like ya need a chance ta talk.” She made for the door, gesturing for Isu to follow. “Fer what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
The door closed. Akane was hugging her knees to her chest as she stared through the map. She couldn’t deal with this right now. It had been weeks since Jusendo and she was just starting to get her feet back under her. It was supposed to be her last year of high school, she’d put out several applications to nearby colleges and a few pie-in-the-sky universities. All of her family was back home and she had no idea where she even was.
At Jusendo she’d almost died twice , but at least she knew she was in China. Even when she was scared, she knew as long as she survived she’d be able to make her way home, especially with Ranma there. Here though? Nothing about this place made sense.
A hand rested against her back. Blinking wetness out of her eyes, she realized Ranma was sitting next to her, gently rubbing her back. She stared at the red-haired martial artist who was also staring blankly at the map. It wasn’t like Ranma to express this kind of softness, but Akane wasn’t going to take it for granted.
Ukyo was too distraught to notice. Her business couldn’t do without her for more than a couple of days. Konatsu could mostly handle running the place with her various shadow clones, but she wasn’t a great cook, and she’d probably leave the restaurant closed while she tried to find her wayward boss. Unless they figured out a solution soon, she’d be going back home to an empty bank account and a new restaurant where hers used to be.
Kuno spoke first, offering to go retrieve the others from the island. “We can’t trust these brigands to not leave us on the island, dinghy or no, once they have an opportunity. I’ll go alone so you can overtake the ship if need be.” He dared not tell his beloved Akane or the pigtailed girl (who he steadfastly refused to believe was actually the devious Ranma Saotome) that leaving them here felt like the safer option: at least if they were abducted they’d be on a ship rather than forced to survive on a deserted island.
Without waiting for a response, he practically bolted through the door but was stopped by the strange, spotted person who had been with the captain. He bowed. “I am Blossoming Isu. Lord…”
“Tatewaki Kuno. I wish to return to the island and retrieve our compatriots.” The strange fellow was shorter even than the pigtailed girl, though not by much, and Kuno found his calm demeanor unsettling.
“By the captain’s orders, of course. Will you require a rower?” Isu guided Kuno back through the lower deck to the stairs. Some of the injured crew had been brought aboard and were laying on padded cots. The captain was speaking to a woman with short brown hair, tanned skin, and robes that once perhaps were white but had been bled on and cleaned so often they turned a dingy grey.
“No thank you, I can handle it.” Kuno was used to being on the ocean, thanks to his father. He hated it but at least he would maintain his dignity in the eyes of these honorless sea dogs.
Isu gestured at the dinghy with a shrug. “Suit yourself, my lord. We would like to be off before long so as not to give away the position of our cache, so please return as soon as your business on the island is concluded.”
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From inside the ship, Ikka watched Kuno row back to the island. All of her injured crew would be fine. A couple of broken noses, sprains, and one dislocated shoulder. Enough to keep them off their feet for a few days but nothing more serious than that. Hell, the flamepiece Miss Saotome threw into the water was a bigger setback than the bruises her crew had suffered. Doc Jara confirmed they had no lasting injuries.
And they pulled it off without breaking a sweat.
Despite their obvious martial supremacy, they chose not to kill anyone. Killing would have been easier, without a doubt, and it was something Ikka had ordered her crew to do in the past. She wanted to say it was because of some sort of unsullied innocence, but at least two of them, Miss Saotome and the short-haired girl she was close to, had seen and faced death, recently if their thousand-yard stares were any indication.
Every reasonable, rational bone in her body said they were some kind of monsters. Treating them as anything else was an enormous risk. But she was a pirate: she was used to taking risks.
Turning to Isu, who had appeared behind her at some point, she nodded. “Inform tha’ crew we’ll be taking on passengers. Remind them that our guests are more’n capable of fightin’ back and are probably in a bad mood.”
Knocking on the door to her own quarters, she waited until she heard a quiet “Come in” before entering. The three girls were standing again, tears red and puffy either from holding back tears or freshly wiping them away. They looked at her expectantly.
“Ladies, here’s how I see it: ye’ve no idea where ya are. I dunno where ya come from. My doctor knows a thing or two of occult matters so ya should talk ta her.” She spoke quickly and firmly, like she would to new recruits, but without the authoritative edge she would normally adopt. “My plan is ta take ya to Abalone. Biggest island in the Archipelago, ta Gateway.” Pulling out a better-used, more recent map that only showed the area they were in, she started pointing. “We’re here, Abalone’s here. Two and a half days’ travel, gotta make a stop at a fishin’ village fer goods’n supplies tonight. Any questions?”
Before Miss Saotome could say anything, the short-haired girl stepped forward. “Akane Tendo.” She gestured to herself. “Why are you taking us to Gateway? What’s there?” Akane didn’t want Ranma to overreact again: she was upset, stressed out, and fighting came to her naturally. Though as soon as Akane opened her mouth she remembered all the times she’d flown off the handle at minor insults and perceived slights. Maybe she should have volunteered Ukyo.
“Biggest port in tha Wavecrest Archipelago.” Ikka brought back the larger map to continue gesturing. “From there, with your skills, it should be easy ta find someone who can help ya better’n a buncha pirates, maybe in Seahaven, tha capital, not too far away, or charter a ship headin’ ta Wu-Jian.” As expected, none of them understood the barrage of proper nouns she just threw at them.
“Okay…” Akane looked to Ukyo and Ranma for advice on what to ask next. She was out of her element, and it dawned on her that other than fighting, none of them really had what it took to navigate a completely alien world. The people here looked like they did back home, for the most part, and physics behaved like it should, but they didn’t even know the world was round!
The captain let her off easy. “Ta put yer minds at ease, ya’ve got it on my word as captain of The Mustang no harm’ll come to ya. Yer passengers so long as ya need somewhere ta stay.” She bowed slightly. “Take a rest on any free hammocks, leave tha cots for the injured an’ sick. If’n ya’ve got yer own supplies ta make food there’s a galley under the fore. We make crew meals twice a day while at sea, first come first serve an’ everybody gets a dish afore seconds.”
She’d settled into her usual “orientation” speech by the end of her promise, and looked them over. “Any questions?” The three shook their heads. “Good, tha first mate’s Blossomin’ Isu, introduce yerself to the crew at yer leisure. Ladies.” She tipped her hat and left.
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Kuno returned with the others. He’d shared the news with them on the shore, but it wasn’t until they received confirmation from Ranma, Ukyo, and Akane that they believed him. Ryoga and Shampoo were distraught, while Kodachi remained steely and cold. They sat in silence in Captain Ikka’s quarters for at least an hour before they heard a bell clanging and a loud voice yell, “Anchors aweigh!”
With a slight lurch the ship began to move and before long they saw the little island shrink into the distance. It got smaller and smaller before Kuno made another surprising observation. “It should be disappearing over the horizon…” he muttered.
Unfortunately, his train of thought was derailed as Ryoga picked up his page of writing from earlier. “What the…? Which one of you wrote a trilingual love poem?”
Desperate for a distraction, the other six Nerimans diverted their attention to the offending page as Ryoga started reading. Kuno’s poem started with flowery descriptions of “the ensorcelled pigtailed beauty” and “his lofty raven-haired lioness” — he defended his choice to focus on hair for symmetry reasons — before moving on to a florid explanation of his vow to rescue everyone from this “strange realm” and concluded with the romaji “ On ne badine pas avec l'amour ”.
Ryoga didn’t know the translation, so everyone stared at Kuno who responded with his typical shameless arrogance. “It’s the name of a play, ‘No Trifling with Love.’ For my love is—”
His attempt to explain himself was drowned out by the uproarious laughter from the six teens as all the tension from their unexpected journey finally snapped. Even his younger sister couldn’t help it, though she would take any opportunity to embarrass him.
Wiping tears from her eyes, Ranma coughed out the last few shocks of laughter from her system. “Hahah….oh man, Kuno, I needed that. But okay, we’re taking care of this right now. Ryoga, I’m borrowin’ a kettle.” And she started digging through the lost boy’s pack.
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A few minutes later, she and Akane were in the galley, the kettle settled in an open-topped sandbox over a brick oven. It would take a while to boil but they didn’t need it to be that hot. Ranma was surprisingly excited about it. “We saw these a couple of times while we were traveling!” she explained to Akane. She didn’t often reminisce about her time before arriving at the Tendo home with nostalgia, but it happened occasionally, and her fiancée loved seeing the way it lifted her mood.
“Hey, Ranma,” Akane began, wanting to quell the conflagration of thoughts burning in her mind. “You didn’t…you didn’t call it a curse when you were talking to the Kunos. When did that happen?”
She expected an intense reaction, maybe an insult or two, definitely shouting. But instead Ranma just looked thoughtful. “I’m not really sure. Before Jusendo I think, but that’s when I started realizing it. I didn’t even hesitate to put you first and I knew I’d make the same choice again in a heartbeat.”
Wiggling her mouth to figure out her next words, she took a second to test the heat in the kettle. Still lukewarm, maybe warm enough to trigger the change but she wanted to be sure. “Then after the, uh, the wedding…I reacted out of instinct, and mom was there. I know the contract’s been fulfilled but it’s tense being around her, yanno? An’ I realized it was her fault, I didn’t feel bad about changing. Hell, I realized sometimes I like it, and not just ‘cause I can flirt to get free food.”
The little smile is what really got Akane as Ranma thought about all the little scams she’d pulled in girl form. “I was relieved Happosai got the water, but I wouldn’t have minded if Mousse, pops, orrr…I guess not Shampoo, I feel bad that she’s gotta deal with that ‘cause I’m not plannin’ on marryin’ her. Anyway, relief. The last few weeks have been quiet enough I got ta think about it, yanno? Even let myself feel flattered that I got so many suitors from across the spectrum.” And then she giggled , a sound Akane never heard her make sincerely.
“I know we haven’t talked about it, but that’s how I feel these days…” Ranma finally looked at Akane, and instead of seeing anger or disgust like she was scared of, she saw empathy, understanding, and a surprising amount of desire. “Uhhh…how about you?”
Instead of answering Akane threw her arms around Ranma, who returned the hug almost immediately. “I’m proud of you, dummy.” Akane beamed.
They held the hug for a few more minutes before they slowly broke apart, and smiled at each other. Ranma briefly considered if she should go in for a kiss, but they were interrupted as a pink-haired sailor poked her head into the galley. “Oh! Sorry, smelled the fire goin’ and thought someone was cookin’,” she quickly explained and then vanished.
They giggled and Ranma confirmed that the water was hot enough, then returned to Captain Ikka’s quarters.
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Armed with the lightly steaming kettle and a canteen full of cold water, Ranma began the laborious process of breaking through the Kuno siblings’ thick heads. Shampoo and Ryoga stood as far away from Ranma as they could. “All right you two, demonstration time first.” She lifted the kettle and splashed herself with just enough water to trigger the change and the fit, buxom, red-haired girl was replaced by a lean but muscular black-haired boy.
Tatewaki, of course, had seen and felt Ranma change before so this wasn’t new to him, but Kodachi’s eyes went wide. “It’s…but how!? What are you?” Ranma realized this might have put Kodachi off pursuing him ages ago, but it’s possible she was going to come to the same conclusion as her brother.
“Uncontrollable magic. Like I said, fell into a spring, now hot water equals boy and cold water equals girl. Tatewaki!” They leveled a finger at the tall boy, whose eyes were narrow and arms were crossed. “What is it you think I am? Some sort of sorcerer or wizard or something who’s captured the pigtailed girl, right?”
Kuno nodded. “Akane’s mercenary sister explained how you own the sweet girl’s body and soul.”
Ranma and Akane both groaned as one of the sources of Kuno’s longstanding delusion was revealed. “Okay, that explains a lot. What do you think happens when I change then?”
Scratching his chin, Tatewaki pondered as to the specifics of the vile Saotome’s dark magic. “Much like the substitution arts of the shinobi, you are swapping places with her wherever you are holding her.”
“Perfect! Okay, so if we’re different people and ‘she’ is being kept somewhere else, do you think that ‘she’ can see what’s goin’ on in this room right now?”
The question short-circuited something in Kuno’s brain because he didn’t move or blink for at least a minute. “...Yyyyyyes. It’s important for your deception, so she knows how she’s supposed to behave.”
With a frustrated groan, Ranma put down the water and started pacing, fingers pushed up to his lips as he fixated on the Kuno puzzle. Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Ryoga smiled, not out of some petty satisfaction of seeing him frustrated, but because this version of Ranma was familiar to them: the master of Anything Goes. This was just another fight, and he needed to figure out how to get through Kuno’s defenses.
One idea came to mind and he stopped. Whatever it was, he started blushing, then walked over to Akane and gently led her to the corner. Softly he leaned down and whispered into her ear. “Okay, I’ve got an idea that’s kind of extreme and I wanna make sure you’re okay with it.” That was troubling, but Akane would hear him out.
“I think part of the problem might be that he thinks I’m in love with him, right? But he hates me when I’m like this. Hurting him as a girl doesn’t do anything, if anything I think he likes it, but what if I tried the other way around?”
Now it was Akane’s turn to blush as she pieced together what he was saying. “Wh-what…what are you gonna do?”
“He was literally holding me once as I changed, something more extreme is called for. If I…ugh, if I kiss him will you splash me?” It was clear Ranma didn’t enjoy the idea, but it was extreme enough to work, maybe. Akane felt…something. Jealousy? Ranma hadn’t ever kissed her, not really, not without tape or magic involved, and here he was considering kissing Kuno of all people.
“Is it really that important to make him realize who you are?”
Clearly it must have been, because he nodded. “We need to be able to trust each other, and we can’t do that if we don’t even understand one another. He thinks I’m literally a different person, what if he tries to kill me thinking that’ll ‘free the girl’ or whatever?”
Akane couldn’t argue with that logic.
“But be honest with me, because if you’re not okay with it I won’t do it.” The admission that Ranma wasn’t just asking for Akane’s advice but her permission to go through with it was akin to divine revelation. Her fiancé really had matured lately, hadn’t he?
“I…you’re right. Plus he’s going to keep pursuing you in girl form, even after the talk this morning. I-I-I…” This wasn’t the time to bring up her jealousy. Honesty was important, but they could talk about that somewhere else, in private. “I’ll splash you as soon as you start, okay?”
Ranma nodded and they turned around. “Okay Tatewaki, let’s try something. You think the pigtailed girl is in love with you, yeah?” He grabbed the canteen as Kuno nodded. “And you think I hate you, right?” She doused herself as Kuno continued nodding, washing the black out of her hair and shrinking. The way his eyes softened and his lips turned up as she changed disgusted her. “Let’s make one thing clear: I don’t love you. I think you’re pushy, handsy, delusional, and a threat to all women.”
Her words clearly stung but he’d been called worse, and he knew the vile Saotome was forcing her to say such things. “But you’re gonna get what you’ve been wanting for two years: I’m gonna kiss ya.”
Akane grabbed the kettle as everybody gasped. Kuno’s eyes went wide and his mouth quivered. “Tr-truly? You’re confessing your love to—”
“No! I meant what I said. What you need to understand is that I’m Ranma Saotome whether or not I’m a boy or girl at the moment. You want to kiss me, but you don’t believe he’d ever kiss you, right?”
Kuno nodded like a dog at a dangling treat. “Great, wanted to make sure you’re aware before we do this then. Don’t close your eyes.”
Ranma and Akane nodded at each other, then Ranma roughly grabbed Kuno’s collar and dragged his face down to meet hers. It wasn’t a pleasant kiss: their lips slammed together and Ranma kept hers tightly locked. Kuno didn’t even put his hands on her sides, so enraptured he was by the red locks framing her piercing blue eyes. Though it wasn’t her beauty that captivated him, but the incandescent rage glowing so clearly in her sapphire irises.
Then he heard a splash and his neck was violently tilted up. Ranma was still shorter than him but the sudden 15 centimeter addition was a surprise. Red was replaced by black as his hair changed color, but the eyes never changed. They never softened, never warmed, didn’t even narrow.
…Oh gods they were the same person. Oh gods he was kissing Saotome!
As soon as he saw the gears turning in Kuno’s head Ranma pushed the taller boy away from him with such force that his head slammed against the wall behind him and sent him into a daze. Ranma took a swig out of the canteen and started gargling the salty water.
The only person who wasn’t stunned was Akane, who moved over and put a sympathetic hand on Ranma’s back. Mouth still full, he just gave her a nod before spitting out the window. He didn’t even want to look at Tatewaki, so he glared at his sister instead. “We don’t have to go through that whole rigamarole with you, do we?”
Kodachi’s face was frozen in a mix of venomous rage and shock, but she shook her head.
“Great, I’m gonna get some fresh air,” Ranma didn’t even bother using the door, he just leapt out the window and climbed up the side of the hull.
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Isu saw Ranma quickly ascend the ship’s rigging and lay out on Isu’s favorite spot to bask on the top crossmast. Something seemed off, so he climbed up to investigate. As he pulled himself up, he realized what it was: this wasn’t Miss Saotome, this was a black-haired man wearing the same clothes and hairstyle. Alarm bells sounded in his head and he drew a pair of knives.
The strange man was up on his feet almost as quickly as the knives were out, though he seemed unconcerned. “Wait, you know me. Sorry about this, I’m Ranma Saotome.”
His steely blue gaze bored into Isu, who grimaced. Even if this wasn’t Ranma, if he was with the group he likely fought as well as them. If he was Ranma, it meant he was a shapeshifter. Best case he was some sort of god, though far more likely he was some sort of Lunar Anathema, fair folk, or demon.
Even if he was a good fighter, Isu was at home in the rigging of the ship, surely he’d have the advantage. Without speaking, he came in swinging with his knives, holding one back in case “Ranma” tried to counter or disarm him. His attacks weren’t particularly decisive, but his hope that the stranger would be hindered by the uneven footing, wind, or rocking of the ship was dashed.
Hell, at some point he was certain the stranger was toying with him. He dodged back until they reached the end of the crossmast then jumped over Isu, landing perfectly on the other side, essentially swapping their positions. But he never raised his hands to attack.
The rest of the crew noticed them by now, and an alarm went up, but nobody wanted to interfere. Normally Isu appreciated it when they let him have his space, but if he kept fighting he’d need the help.
Regardless, the stranger was clearly a better fighter, and too maneuverable for Isu to corner. Scowling, he sheathed his knives and crossed his arms. “Hmph. Talk, stowaway.”
“Sure. I’m Ranma Saotome, we’ve already met. You’re…Isu, captain’s Ikka, the short, hairy guy was Whooping Goat, doctor’s name is Zara or something. Am I right so far?” His face didn’t betray any emotions, and his voice was matter-of-fact. Even though a couple of his names were a little off, they were off in an ordinary way. Still, that wasn’t an explanation.
“Why are you a man, Miss Saotome?” Isu needed to know the answer to that. If Ranma was some sort of sorcerer or supernatural creature, they had a much bigger problem on their hands.
“Fell into a magic spring two years ago, now hot water turns me into a man, cold water turns me into a woman. I can prove it if you want.”
Isu tilted his head. Sounded like a curse or a Wyld mutation. Maybe Doc Jara knew more about it? If Ranma needed to change for some reason it explained why they’d been seen heating a kettle in the galley. “And you just decided to start climbing around on the ship after changing?” If he interrogated Ranma’s foolish behavior, maybe that would reveal something to pick at.
“Ehhh…Had to clear my head and didn’t think about it. I was…distracted.” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, emphasizing his youth. The alarm had died down and the crew was just watching them now, including Captain Ikka.
Isu pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, you show the captain and me this little trick of yours before we do anything else. And in future tell someone before you start crawling around the rigging.”
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Ryoga was conflicted. He was stuck in a strange world thanks to the unknowable whims of a robotic spider-god, but there was something satisfyingly petty about seeing Ranma so flustered. Even though his days of shouting “Ranma, prepare to die!” were long over he harbored a grudge against his erstwhile nemesis. Seeing him taken down a peg was always nice.
The lost boy didn’t know Kuno that well, he’d heard Akane complain about him from time to time but he always assumed that the former Furinkan kendo captain was caught in one of Ranma’s gender-bending scams. Realizing Kuno truly didn’t understand how Ranma’s curse worked was funny enough, but seeing Ranma go to the lengths he did to finally convince Kuno of the truth was…
Actually surprisingly painful to watch. Maybe because Ryoga had been on the receiving end of Ranma’s affections for one reason or another so many times, but something in him felt a pang of…well certainly not jealousy , but something when he saw his red-headed rival initiate a kiss with another man. The feeling didn’t go away when Ranma changed so it definitely couldn’t have been jealousy.
Regardless, the captain’s quarters started to feel cramped so to stretch his legs he decided to explore the ship. It wasn’t particularly large, only two decks, so even if he got lost he assumed it wouldn’t be for long. Plus he was curious if the curse on his sense of direction was even still there: getting to Akane’s house was the easiest thing he’d ever done. Was it because he was fated to be there the day Hadrak arrived?
Half an hour later and he couldn’t find his way out of the lower decks, which left him despondent. He couldn’t bring himself to ask any of the pirates who he ran into, he had to maintain the impression of strength that came with single-handedly beating a bunch of them up earlier.
Ranma found him though, which meant he could smirk. “Oh hey, Romeo, didja have to go write up a new entry in your diar—” His rival clearly wasn’t in the mood as he slammed Ryoga against the wall. Ryoga let him but didn’t continue needling. “What do you want, Saotome?”
“You’re gonna tell Akane about P-Chan.” Ranma demanded gently, his steely gaze boring into Ryoga. “We’re going to some fishing village. If you don’t tell her the night we get there I’m telling her the next morning.”
That changed the mood quickly. “Wh-why the hurry? I haven’t…I mean I’m with Akari now and—”
“Because we’re on a pirate ship in the middle of the ocean, going to an island, then sailing some more to get to another island.” Ryoga wasn’t familiar with this side of Ranma, the coldness emanating from him was surreal and unsettling. “We are surrounded by water. You’ve been lucky so far, and I helped you out a bunch, but that’s not gonna last, and you know how this thing works: it’s gonna wait until the absolute worst time to sneak up on you. Tell her now so when it happens later she won’t be surprised.”
When did Ranma get so rational? “Tch, fine. Is that why you got a new boyfriend?” The taunt reset the status quo, and Ranma glowered at Ryoga before pushing away.
“Just for that, I’m not showing you how to get back upstairs.” He mocked before sprinting away into the depths of the ship.
“Wait, no, I’ll just follow you and…Dammit Ranma.”