SEPTEMBER 2015 - THE PAST

I have spoken these words now. Despite her selfish decision, Samira has received my approval. Ayla watches me with raised eyebrows. My behavior doesn’t make sense to her, and she’s not entirely wrong in her confusion. Normally, I would react differently in a situation like this. But somehow, I feel that mere words are not enough to win Matthew back to my side.

Samira places her hand on her chest, clearly taken aback. “Thank you for being so understanding! I honestly didn’t expect that. I’m really sorry for ignoring you both for two whole months. At first, I couldn’t think straight at all. When you first told us about Matthew and showed us his picture, I instantly fell for him. I couldn’t deny what my heart wanted and just waited for the right moment. In August, right before the summer holidays ended, I added him on Instagram. To my surprise, Matthew accepted my request, and soon after, we started texting.” Her cheeks flush, and she looks down with a smile. “When we first met up just to talk and get to know each other, I confessed my feelings to him, and… he said he felt the same way.”

That doesn’t make sense. Why would Matthew, after spending an entire month and a half with me every day, develop feelings for someone else so quickly? Samira claps her hands and looks at us with wide eyes. A satisfied smile adorns her face. She’s taken the bait. “I’d like to invite you both to the movies tonight. Matthew and I want to spend a relaxed evening with his friends, and you, as my friends, are welcome to join us.”

I can feel Ayla wanting to reject the offer out of solidarity with me, but I speak up before she can. “We’d be delighted to join you tonight. What time should we be at the town cinema?”

The cinema is the most popular meeting spot in our town. Due to high demand, it makes the most profit, which the owners take advantage of by hiking up the prices for tickets and snacks. Samira has always forced us to go there because many boys gather in the evening, hoping to win one over. Among all these boys, she chose Matthew.

Satisfied with my answer, Samira claps her hands one last time and says her goodbyes. She heads toward a dark red car – Matthew’s car, which is all too familiar to me. Ayla places a reassuring hand on my shoulder as I watch Samira get into his car. My face remains expressionless, because I don’t want anyone to see how much this sight is tearing me apart inside.

“And is this really okay with you?” My sister asks, surprised, shaking her head. “No, no! You can’t fool me.” Her voice lowers, she doesn’t want anyone to overhear. “You wouldn’t give up on Matthew so easily. Not without talking to him first. So... why?”

“I’ve taken our mother’s words to heart,” I say, hating myself for lying to Ayla. I don’t have to, but I want to – and that makes it worse. “If Matthew would rather be with Samira, I have to respect his decision. It’s true, he doesn’t belong to me.”

JUNE 2016 - THE PRESENT

Why did I choose to tell that lie back then? Would everything have turned out the same if Ayla had known about my plans? Would she have been able to stop me and offer me a future without all this pain? Was this the first wrong step I took? Is there a version of this story where Ayla sits beside me, handcuffed to the chair? And would I ever have forgiven myself for dragging her into this whirlwind?

“As you now know, I didn’t involve anyone in my spontaneous plan for revenge,” I explain, letting my gaze fall on my hands. I rub my fingertips together, but the dried blood makes the movement difficult. “I took on this task alone, fooling myself into thinking I would stand triumphantly over Samira in the end.” My voice trails off, and I lift my head to look at the commissioner.

But then I see something that shouldn’t be possible. They are standing behind her… staring at me. The look in their eyes sends a chill down my spine, freezing the blood in my veins. It’s the same look that catapults me back into this room, back into that moment. They look at me as if I am solely to blame for everything that has happened.

The commissioner doesn’t notice their presence. That’s when I realize they’re in fact not real. They only exist in my memory, fixed there, and I doubt I will ever escape them. I turn my gaze away. My frantic heartbeat echoes in the silence of the room.

The commissioner, who had been taking notes, pauses and clears her throat.

“What was the real reason behind your sudden desire for revenge?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. Her gaze is penetrating. “It’s not unusual for a girl your age to want to hurt someone who has caused her pain, out of envy, anger, or desperation. However, it’s hard to believe that you didn’t involve Ayla Salman in your plan.”

“I’m not lying to you!” I respond firmly. “When I see myself here now, I’m grateful for the one decision I apparently made correctly.”

I’m convinced that Ayla would have been smart enough to stop me from going through with this plan for revenge. But the thought of that one unlikely scenario – the one that only had a one percent chance of happening – where my sister sits beside me in this room today… or maybe even in my place… fills me with a strange sense of satisfaction. It comforts me to know that I alone bear the burden.

Without me needing to elaborate further, the commissioner seems to grasp my meaning. She nods briefly and gestures with a quick motion for me to continue.

“Samira was no longer a friend to me,” I finally confess, shrugging. “Maybe she never was. Maybe she could have been, but too many wrong decisions prevented that.”

SEPTEMBER 2015 - THE PAST

Ayla remains visibly confused by my indifference towards Samira’s betrayal. While she tries to talk some sense into me with her words – to make me, like a rational person, banish someone like Samira from my life – her arguments gradually fade. Her voice moves further and further into the background as my mind repeatedly takes me back to that scene: Samira gets into Matthew’s car and takes the very seat I occupied every day during the summer. Over and over again, this image plays out before my eyes.

It hurts to know that the boy I love with all my heart replaced me so effortlessly. Is every person that easily replaceable? Or was I never of any significance to Matthew?

“Are you really going through with this?” Ayla asks one last time, placing her hand on my shoulder. We’re now standing in front of the entrance to the cinema. “Are you sure the relationship won’t bother you? During the film, Samira will cling to Matthew, and you’ll just have to sit there and watch.”

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

I would be lying if I disagreed with her on this point. In fact, it will be hard, but Ayla would get suspicious if I just dismissed her concern. Still, I need to set my feelings aside in order to carry out my plan.

I nod, letting my gaze wander first to Ayla, then to the large cinema building. The sight alone takes me back to a time when everything seemed simpler.

“It won’t be easy,” I admit, swallowing the rising anger. “But I want to be a grown-up and at least try to save the friendship.”

What a joke. The friendship with Samira means nothing to me anymore. The moment I saw her with Matthew and the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, everything was over. But Ayla can’t know that. If she suspects it, she’ll drag me straight home.

“I never thought I’d hear you say something so mature...” Ayla murmurs, confused, before laughing. I shake my head with a grin and roll my eyes. “I’m just teasing you. Come on, let’s go in and see what kind of people Samira hangs out with now.”

With these words, we enter the building. Despite it being a Monday afternoon, the cinema is packed with people of all ages. No wonder – today, tickets are half-price.

Once we reach the second floor, I feel my heart begin to beat faster. Our host for the evening is still nowhere in sight, but my body already warns me of the upcoming danger. Ayla is right: Samira won’t miss a chance to rub my defeat in my face. Even if she thinks I hold no grudge against her – which is, of course, far from the truth – she’ll savor her triumph. That’s just the way she is. Her character, which I’ve ignored all this time.

“They’re over there,” Ayla says quietly. Automatically, my gaze moves forward. My eyes scan the crowd until they settle on Samira. She’s standing next to a pillar, surrounded by four boys – one of them is Matthew – and a girl. As soon as she sees us, she interrupts her conversation and waves at us with a grin.

Matthew also turns in our direction. His gaze seems to meet mine directly – or am I just imagining it? The closer we get to the group, the clearer his expression becomes: questioning, his brow slightly furrowed.

“You said you were waiting for a friend,” Matthew comments, looking at Samira intently.

But Samira just waves him off and laughs. “What does it matter if it’s one friend or two? The more, the merrier. It’ll make the night even more fun.”

Before Matthew can say anything, one of the boys steps forward and extends his hand to me. “May I introduce myself? Navid. It’s a pleasure to meet such a charming lady.”

Ayla gives me a knowing glance. The fact that Navid is offering his hand to me and only looking at me is clear. He’s interested. I’ll definitely use this to my advantage. But what kind of relationship does Navid have with Matthew?

At least he’s not unattractive, which will make it easier for me to fake emotions – just to provoke a reaction from Matthew. If he gets jealous, it will surely drive Samira crazy. That girl needs to know that the boy by her side is meant for me.

Before I can say my name, Matthew intervenes. “They’re Aryan’s younger sisters.”

After a summer in which we spent every day together, this conversation feels strangely distant. As if Matthew is a distant acquaintance I barely know. For a fleeting moment, our eyes meet, his eyes as black as the deepest night. Did I just see concern in his expression? No, I must be imagining it. My mind is playing tricks on me, and I mustn’t give in. If I want to make Samira pay for her actions, I can’t make any mistakes. No weakness – especially not in front of Matthew.

“I thought Aryan only had one sister,” one of the other boys chimes in, casually running a hand through his brown, wavy hair. “Where did this second one come from?”

“I’m his adopted sister,” Ayla corrects, raising her finger with a slight smile. “Hello, I’m Ayla Salman-Naseer.”

“You took the name Naseer?” the boy asks in surprise, and Ayla nods with a hint of pride. “That’s cool. But the name Salman sounds familiar. Are you related to Dr. Faisal Salman, the one who passed away?”

Ayla’s face goes pale. She can’t say a word. Quickly, I step to her side and nod. “That’s right. But maybe it’s better if we don’t bring this up so directly. Dr. Salman was her father.”

“That’s why she was adopted, you idiot,” Navid hisses, rolling his eyes. “And you want to be a groundbreaking physicist, Elias?”

Elias shoots Navid an irritated look but remains silent. The two seem to know Aryan. That means they’re friends with him. Are these the boys Aryan never wanted to introduce to our parents? They certainly make a good first impression.

“Allow me to introduce?” Samira grins, gesturing to everyone in the group. “Navid Irvani, Elias Amirmoez, Gillian Schmidt, and Elodie Bellerose.”

“Are you going to tell our insurance numbers too?” Navid asks, rolling his eyes again. Is he just teasing her, or does he really dislike her? “Anyway, Aryan’s like a brother to me. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

His gaze lingers briefly on me – just a moment, but it feels more intense than it should. Maybe it’s his brown-green eyes that seem to captivate me with their depth. I’m not sure if I’m imagining it, but the thought of giving this boy a chance suddenly doesn’t seem so far-fetched – if he’s truly interested in me.

Everyone has spoken up now – except for Gillian and Elodie. Gillian simply nodded, while Elodie only gave us a fleeting smile. Do they dislike our presence, or are they just reserved?

“You didn’t mention the movie title,” Ayla says, looking at Samira with a mischievous smile. Samira grins sheepishly in return. “Don’t tell me...”

“Yes, it’s a romantic comedy!” she confesses with a laugh, acting as if she did not betray us.

Samira behaves as though nothing ever happened between us, solely through my understanding behavior. In a way, it’s hurtful, as though she’s brushing off my feelings. At the same time, this could help me with my plan – the less she suspects, the better.

“You should have mentioned that,” Ayla murmurs, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Navid raises an intrigued eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you can’t stand movies like that?”

Ayla shakes her head and points her thumb at me. “My wonderful sister can’t stand those romantic chick flicks. She’s more of a horror fan. I can still sit through them – which I’ve done for Samira in the past – but under these circumstances, we would have canceled for tonight.”

Navid looks at me, his eyes gleaming with admiration. “I knew from the first look that you’re a girl with good taste! If you want, we can watch the new thriller that premiered yesterday.”

It’s exactly the movie Matthew and I had promised to watch together. I dare not look in Matthew’s direction, as Navid’s eyes remain fixed on me. Any movement could give too much away. To me, Navid seems smart and attentive, and I don’t want to jeopardize the revenge plan. A movie night with him would definitely be a step forward – but until I can gauge Matthew’s reaction, I won’t make a decision.

“That’s a tempting offer, but I have to pass,” I say with a dismissive smile, raising my right hand to chest height. “When I make a promise, I keep it.”

Navid must believe that I mean the planned movie night. But in truth, I hope to watch the thriller with Matthew soon.

“A very respectable young woman,” Navid says with a grin, playfully bowing. “I take my hat off to you, Mylady.”

A quiet giggle escapes me before I can suppress it. Startled, I cover my mouth, while my knees unexpectedly feel weak. Navid looks at me in surprise, a glimmer of satisfaction in his gaze.

“You’ve finally found someone who thinks your awful jokes are funny,” Elias remarks, giving Navid a pat on the shoulder. “Well then, shall we head to the theater? The movie should start soon.”

Everyone agrees with Elias’ suggestion. Navid and Ayla walk by my sides, and although Navid remains silent, his proximity makes me feel a bit intimidated. Are those butterflies I feel, or just nervousness in the face of a new challenge?

For a brief moment, my gaze drifts ahead, where Matthew walks next to Gillian. The moment I look, our eyes meet. His pitch-black eyes are as inscrutable as ever – but for a moment, I think I see something in them.

JUNE 2016 - THE PRESENT

“It was the first time I saw that expression in Matthew’s eyes,” I confess, lowering my gaze with a slight smile. The tears burn in my eyes, because as painful as his loveless look was – nothing compares to the pain I saw in his eyes during his last breath.