The first one of the trio to notice me walking toward them was a massive armored man. He was the size of an offensive lineman and he wore full plate armor with a tower shield on his back and an ax on his belt. He poked his dozing teammates, a tall, lanky man with a bow and a short but solid woman dressed in all black with a short sword and half a dozen knives, and pointed me out to them.

  “Hello,” he greeted. “Takin’ the test?”

  “Yep. James said you guys would be my teammates?”

  “That’s us,” he affirmed. “Name’s Alphonse, but you can call me Al. I’m a frontline tanker. This here’s Pierre, he’s an archer, and she’s Christine, our Scout. I see you’re a mage.”

  I nodded. “My name is Lucille. I also go by Lucy. I’m a mage, and I specialize in Light, Earth and Water. Nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you,” said Christine, smiling.

  “Mmm.” grunted Pierre, rubbing his eyes.

  “This your first time applyin’?” asked Al.

  “Yeah.”

  “And you chose to do it at sunrise?” asked Pierre. “If you wanted to ruin your entire day, you should have just stabbed yourself in the foot when you got out of bed instead of coming all the way here.”

  “Pierre!” chided Christine. “Sorry, he’s a little cranky this morning.”

  “And whose fault is that?”

  “If you wanted breakfast, you should have gotten up when we woke you.”

  “You barely even tried to wake me!” he protested. “You gave me one little shake, once, and then gave up.”

  “It was four times, and we did more than just give you a little shake,” she corrected. “And you still wouldn’t get up. You shouldn’t have drank so much last night. You knew we were on duty this morning.”

  “I didn’t even drink that much! You were the one who-!”

  “That’s enough!” said Al. “We can talk about this later. Right now we should be helpin’ Lucy get ready.”

  “You’re right, sorry,” said Christine, bowing her head toward me. “So, three elements, huh? You must be pretty good then.”

  “Kind of,” I said. “I’m still low-level though, so my skills aren’t that strong yet.”

  “That’s alright,” she said. “Leveling up is one thing you won’t have any trouble with once you get your license. What are your main skills?”

  “My main attack skill is [Stone Bullet], and I also have [Water Blade], but I doubt either of them are strong enough to make too much of a difference. I do have a lot of useful light spells and illusions. I have [Blind] and [Flash] that can take away her vision, and I also have [Minor Illusion]. I can’t do too much with it just yet, but I can fake arrows and other spells and small things like that.”

  “Hmmm,” said Pierre. “Your [Stone Bullet] and [Water blade] might be weak, but they’re not worthless. It might be too much to ask you to find your own openings to fire them, but if you shoot them at the same time as I shoot my arrows, it’ll be harder to block. And your Light spells should help Al and Christine a lot. If you can take away her vision as they attack, we might be able to land a blow.”

  Al snorted. “Not a chance.”

  “Hey, don’t be so pessimistic,” said Christine. “I’ve got a good feeling about it this time. We can do it!”

  “We’ll have one more I think, actually,” I said. “There’s another mage applicant talking to the branch leader right now.”

  “Oho, see?” said Christine. “We can definitely do it this time!”

  “Maybe,” said Pierre. “Depending on how good the other mage is. Did you get a good feel for his strength?”

  “No,” I said. “All I know is that he’s a noble and-”

  Pierre cut me off with a loud groan.

  “Dammit,” said Al.

  “Nevermind,” said Christine. “We’re doomed.”

  “Is it that bad?” I asked.

  “Nobles are the worst!” exclaimed Christine. “They all think they’re so strong because they have inflated stats and levels and fancy tutors and all that, but then when they actually get into a fight, they panic and either run away or forget how to aim and start hitting their teammates. Even worse, they all think they’re so much smarter and better than everyone because of their fancy educations, so they always come in trying to be the group leader, even in a party like ours that’s already been together for years. Sometimes they mellow out with some experience, but on application day? Not a chance. He’s gonna screw everything up for us.”

  “Well, we might have a chance,” said Pierre. “‘Yona likes nobles about as much as we do, so she’ll probably take him out first. So if we play it defensively until he gives up, we can start for real once he’s down.”

  “But then we’re back to square one with just one mage,” said Al.

  “And he probably won’t go down quietly,” said Christine. “Watch, he’s gonna start up a big fireball at the beginning of the fight, ‘Yona’s gonna slap him, and he’s gonna accidentally hit one of us.”

  “Barring that, we might be able to do it. We’d have a better chance if I had something in my stomach, but I guess you guys really wanted to be beaten up this morning…”

  “Hey, don’t blame us,” said Christine. “It’s your own fault.”

  “Please, let’s not start this again,” said Al.

  “I see a problem with this plan,” I interjected.

  “What?” asked Pierre.

  “She thinks I’m a noble too. If she targets nobles, she’ll be targeting me too.”

  “...Oh.”

  “Yep, definitely screwed,” said Christine. Then, her face blanched. “Wait, are you a noble?”

  “No,” I said. “Definitely not. I have no clue why she thinks I am.”

  “I guess you do kinda stand like a noble,” said Al, scanning my body. “All stiff and regal-like.”

  “Am I that stiff?” I said, looking down at myself. I wasn’t; I just have very good posture, which I guess looks strange to those without.

  “No, not really,” said Christine.

  “Yeah, maybe a little,” said Pierre at the exact same time.

  “Hey, she looks fine,” scolded Christine. “Actually, she looks great.” She smirked. “You’re really making those beige, standard-issue mage robes work for you, Lucy.”

  “Thanks,” I deadpanned. “So is Alyona really that strong that you think we won’t even be able to land a single hit on her?”

  “Stronger,” said Al. “She was an Orderbound Blade before she ‘retired’. I heard her joke once that she could kill the entire city and no one would be able to stop her, except it wasn’t funny because I’m pretty sure that’s true.”

  Orderbound blade was a term that I had already made myself familiar with while doing research into the Church of Order. They were the strongest of the paladins, with reaching level 90 being one of the prerequisites to earn the title. They were number three on my list of groups to avoid, behind only the emissaries chosen by the Seven Virtues and the other Demon Kings.

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  “Oh,” I said. “Then we’re just screwed then.”

  “Yep, pretty much,” said Christine. “But it won’t be that bad. Or at least it won’t last that long. She’ll heal you right up when we’re done, and then you’ll only have the mental trauma to deal with!”

  “Speaking of mental trauma, here she comes,” said Pierre, nodding toward the main guild building behind me.

  I turned to see Alyona and Clovis walking toward James, Clovis looking much less cheerful than he had been while talking to me.

  “Oh, this should be fun,” muttered Christine. “Watch, he’s gonna throw a fit when they tell him he needs to change his robes.”

  “Two silver he refuses and tries to make the guild pay when his fancy ones get ruined,” said Pierre.

  “No way,” said Al. “‘Yona’s right there. He’s not gonna say no. I’ll take your silver, thanks.”

  “I dunno,” said Christine. “He looks pretty stubborn.”

  “Wanna make my payout four?”

  “I don’t gamble.”

  “Lucy?”

  “I don’t gamble either.”

  “Bo-ring,” said Pierre. “Watch, and get your coins ready, Al.”

  “I’ll be eating well tonight.”

  We all openly stared as the half-elf and the noble arrived at James’ table and the bespectacled man started talking. With my enhanced senses, I was actually able to hear what they were saying, though I didn’t let the others in on that fact.

  “Good day, sir,” said James. “I hear you’re here to become an adventurer.”

  “Yes I am,” said Clovis. “And I don’t need any of those trashy robes, thank you very much. I’m fine with what I have.”

  “I’m sorry sir, but it’s guild policy that you wear these while testing. It is only temporary. You can change back into your own robes when you’re finished. Here, these should fit you well.”

  Clovis reached a hand and ran it across the robes James was holding out, then grimaced in displeasure as he made a flicking motion with his hand.

  “Cotton? No thanks.”

  “Wear the robes,” said Alyona. “You’ll regret it if you don’t. You might have to toss your current ones out.”

  “Ha!” he scoffed. “These can handle a bit of dirt. They’re made of Aramantula silk, so they’re durable and resist grime.”

  “Do they resist being stabbed?” asked Alyona. “Because if not, you should change them.”

  “What do you-?” he sputtered. “Stabbed?! Are you going to stab me?”

  “Are you going to let me stab you?”

  “You can’t do that!” he exclaimed. “I’m a noble, you know! If you harm me I’ll have you imprisoned!”

  Alyona suddenly stepped forward, and poked Clovis in the chest, causing him to stumble back a step, nearly tripping.

  “Listen here, Mr. Noble. The guild doesn’t care about petty, local lords and their misplaced pride. Here, you’re not a noble; you’re an Adventurer, and you’re subject to the rules of the Adventurers. So put on the damn robe and quit your whining.”

  Clovis gulped. “F-fine then! But if you harm a hair on my head, you won’t be able to escape the consequences!”

  He snatched the robes from James and waddled over to the changing rooms.

  “Come to the arena when you’re done!” she called after him.

  “Pay up,” said Al.

  “Dammit,” said Pierre, fishing the coins out of his hip pouch. “I didn’t think he’d give up so easily. He didn’t even hold out for a minute.”

  “He’s a coward,” I noted.

  “Look alive,” said Christine, perking up. “She’s headed our way.”

  The two men hurried to hide the coins and straighten themselves up as the one-armed half-elf approached.

  “I see you’ve already gotten friendly,” she said. “Good. Be at the arena in five minutes.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” said the other three.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I echoed.

  “And by the way, Lucille, gambling is prohibited on guild premises, so if you do try it, don’t be stupid enough to do it right in front of the branch manager.” She held out her hand expectantly in Al’s direction

  “Dangit,” said Al, handing over his winnings. “You never enforce that rule though.”

  “You’re not setting a very good example for the newbie. 5 minutes.” She turned and walked away, leaving Al, staring forlornly at his empty hand.

  “I told you that was a bad idea,” said Christine when she thought Alyona was out of earshot.

  “Shut up, no you didn’t,” said Pierre as she stuck her tongue out at him. “Should we wait for fatso or head to the arena right now?”

  “I vote we head to the arena now,” said Al. “We can stretch a bit and warm up once we get there.”

  “Besides, if we wait here, we’ll be late. ‘Yona said 5 minutes, but there’s no way he finishes changing in time.”

  “2 silver he does,” said Pierre.

  “No way,” said Al.

  “Guys, not again,” said Christine. “C’mon, let’s go.”

  Pierre would have two more silver had Alphonse been dumb enough to accept his bet. It took Clovis closer to ten minutes to finish changing and another minute and a half to walk the few hundred feet from the changing room to the arena. While we waited, a few other adventurers trickled into the stands, and started whispering amongst themselves while pointing in our direction.

  “The nice thing about doing this early is that at least we have a small audience,” said Christine, doing the splits while we waited. “Less people to watch us get beaten up.”

  “I’d still prefer to have done it later so I could at least eat lunch,” said Pierre, double-checking his arrow count.

  “You feeling alright, Lucy?” asked Al. “Nervous?”

  “A bit,” I confessed. “But it’s fine. It won’t affect me. I’m used to performing in front of an audience.”

  “Oh?” said Pierre. “An actor?”

  “Musician,” I corrected. “Pianist.”

  “Oh, nice,” he said. “Christine can play-.”

  “No I can’t,” she interrupted. “My mom just forced me to take a few lessons when I was younger. I’m no good.”

  “You sounded pretty good the other night.”

  “You were drunk. And so was I. My playing was shit. And besides, I was just playing a shitty drinking song. Anyone can do that.”

  “I can’t. I thought it was pretty impressive.”

  “Shut up, we need to focus on the test,” she said, turning away to hide her reddening cheeks. “Oh look, he’s finally here.”

  Clovis appeared at the top of the stairs looking extremely disgruntled, but unfortunately, his face brightened up when he saw me.

  “So you’re a mage, then,” he said when he got to us. “I knew there was something I liked about you. Always nice to meet a fellow pursuer of knowledge.” He turned to the others. “My name is Clovis Satie, second son of Baron Laurent Satie. I’m a mage, my elements are fire and wind.”

  He said that last part as if being a dual-elemental mage was something to be proud of.

  “Lucille, all six elements.” His expression soured for a split second. “But mainly Light, Earth and Water. My strongest abilities currently are my illusions and other light-based spells.”

  “Alphonse, frontline melee.”

  “Pierre, archer.”

  “Christine, Scout.”

  “A pleasure to meet you all,” said Clovis, nodding his head toward each in turn. “Your branch leader is quite the character, eh? She joked earlier that she would stab me.”

  “Oh, that wasn’t a joke,” said Christine.

  “Yeah, she just kinda does that,” said Al.

  “It’s basically a rite-of-passage here.”

  “But don’t worry,” said Christine. “It doesn’t hurt too bad, and you’ll be healed up in no time.”

  Every new sentence seemed to hit Clovis like a slap to the face leaving him stunned and offended, all semblance of friendliness and jollity gone.

  “But- She can’t do that!” he exclaimed. “That’s assault. That’s illegal!”

  “The Guild answers only to itself, and she has permission from the Guild, so…” Christine shrugged. “You’ll either have to deal with it or try your application again at another branch.”

  “This is ridiculous! You all are okay with that?!”

  “Relax, it’s not that bad,” said Pierre. “It barely even counts as a stab. It’s more of a pointy cut, really. She’s just making sure you’re mentally able to handle potential Dungeon conditions.”

  “That’s not how the test is supposed to be!” said Clovis. “It’s supposed to be an evaluation of ability, not pain tolerance!”

  “Pain tolerance is part of ability when it comes to Adventurers,” said Pierre, starting to get visibly annoyed. “If you don’t think you can handle it, you don’t have to take the test. You can always go to another branch with a higher mortality rate if you just want to throw a few spells and have them tell you how great you are.”

  Clovis’ face reddened and he prepared to say something, but Alyona’s voice rang out, stopping us all in our tracks. She was standing in the middle of the arena and looking in our direction, still in her normal clothes, though now with a sword strapped to her left hip

  “Applicants, I see you’ve introduced yourselves already. Good. Now, allow me to explain the test: It will be a simulated Dungeon boss fight. I will take the role of the Dungeon boss. You are the Adventurers trying to slay me. Applicants, your teammates are seasoned Adventurers who have experience and knowledge about the boss, so your role is to listen to them and follow their plan to defeat me. Don’t worry about holding back. If you somehow manage to hurt me, you’ll be receiving bonus points on your evaluation. The test ends when I declare that all the applicants have died. Any questions?”

  “I can’t believe you’re so cruel as to-!” started Clovis.

  “I said questions, not accusations.”

  The laughter in the audience shut Clovis up, his face reddening even further.

  “What do you mean, ‘declare us dead’?” I asked.

  “Excellent question! I will be blunting my sword with aura. If it hits you in a vital spot, I will shout ‘dead’ and for the purposes of the test, you will be considered dead and no longer able to participate. Any more questions?”

  “I hope you have a very good lawyer, because I assure you-!”

  “If that’s all, then I’m giving you five minutes to prepare, after which I will attack you, whether you are ready or not. You can choose to attack me before the five minutes are up, but in doing so, you will be losing any additional preparation time, and I will start fighting back. Time starts now!”