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Meet The Freak
Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Wallace

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It was not yet dusk, but the slow descent of the sun behind the mountains had left us in shadow for most of the past hour as we picked our way through the forest. The Father too had disappeared behind the mountains a few hours prior, and since then Valentine had been lighting our way with a rod of metal and wood.

The shaft was some lightish hardwood that I didn't recognize, and Valentine had admitted to not knowing either. I was quickly coming to realize that spellcasters of all sorts were not forthcoming when it came to what materials held what types of mana, and the enchanter who'd made it for her had been no exception. The tip of the rod was tin, worked to look like the head of a torch, and so lifelike that I imagined I might be able to unwrap the layers of cloth from where they were tied.

The little enchanted rod wasn't nearly so big as a torch, however, and instead was only about half a foot long. About as large as a decent-sized flashlight, which was convenient, as it fit through the velcro flashlight loop on the shoulder of her flight suit.

Truthfully I didn't need the extra light, but it gave me something to ponder while we travelled. I was bursting with questions about magic but thought it best to wait until we were committed to this path.

Peering up through the trees, I started to make out the gap in the mountains we were heading for. Looking ahead, I got the sense that we were nearing the edge of the forest. The trees were starting to become less dense, and it looked as if the land fell away some distance ahead.

I nodded my head towards what I'd seen, "Are we gonna need to climb down a cliff to get into the pass?"

She glanced up at me and then squinted into the distance, "I should hope not, but I did bring climbing equipment."

"I weigh half a ton," I stressed, "Those had better be some thick ropes."

I watched as a smirk spread across her face, but she said nothing, instead watching her footing as she picked her way across the forest floor.

"What," I prodded.

"So Temerity was on top?" she laughed.

"Remind me why I'm here?" I sighed. Again.

"And not back in bed with Temerity? That is a good question," Valentine agreed, nodding sagely.

"When we get to the cliff, I'm gonna hop on down and leave you to fumble about in the dark."

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The 'cliff' turned out not to be quite so impressive as, but a great deal stranger than, I had imagined.

The forest we'd spent most of the day walking through had come to an abrupt halt, as if someone had cut the forest in half with a knife, and discarded the other portion.

Up here where the two of us stood were the towering pine trees with a forest floor covered in dried pine needles, then a ten-foot drop to open hills covered in short, scrubby brown grass.

Driving through Ontario, much of it characterized by the rocky Canadian Shield, you'd sometimes see low rocky outcroppings hugging the side of the road for long stretches. Some were natural, but often it would be the result of blasting done during construction to cut a level road out of the hills.

What I looked down upon now was reminiscent of that, even the pine forest fit, as it was usually what I'd see stretching out atop such outcroppings. The edge was a great deal more precise though, and I was just beginning to notice that the ground wasn't so rocky when I felt it start to shift below me.

I twisted around, where is Valentine, and found her standing just at my elbow, an expression of absent curiosity on her face. Entirely ignorant of what was about to happen, she was really rather startled when I grabbed her by the front of her flight suit and flung her behind me.

The folds of the flight suit had only just left my fingers when the slow slide turned into a freefall. I went tumbling down, coughing and sputtering as the dry soil filled my nose and mouth, all the while flailing my arms in vain to keep the dirt out of my face.

I forced myself blindly to my feet as soon as I stopped falling, all while more dirt came crashing down, and stumbled in what I hoped would be the right direction.

Dirt was everywhere, in my eyes, my clothes, hell, I'd probably inhaled some of it, but at least I'd escaped being buried alive.

I tried to open my eyes. I was pretty sure I'd thrown her clear, but I had to be sure. If I was wrong, then Valentine could very well be crushed by the weight of all this earth, but there was just too much grit in my eyes for me to see.

"Valentine," I bellowed, "Valentine."

"Be silent," she shouted back, "I'm fine."

I heard the raspy sound of canvas sliding across dirt, and then a thump as she set down her pack nearby.

"You get some of it in your eyes?" she asked, and already I could hear her sorting through her bag, "Sit down you big clumsy giant so I can reach your face."

I did as she asked, sitting on the coarse grass, and heard a pop as she pulled the stopper out of a canteen. She cupped my chin with one hand to steady herself as she helped me rinse out my eyes, and after a few minutes, I was able to blink them clear.

"You scream Temerity's name that loud?" she asked with a smirk, once I finally opened my eyes.

"You are such a pain in the ass."

"Yes, well, I didn't lose half our supplies," she replied, the smirk not entirely leaving her face.

"Are you-" I felt at my back, and found neither the pack nor the axe, "Goddammit."

Looking back, I could see that much of the unnatural dirt 'cliff' had collapsed for quite a ways in each direction, leaving a slope with a hundred percent grade. The occasional tree, now uprooted, had been caught in the slide. I ran my gaze from one end to the other, hoping to spot something that might suggest the presence of my pack, buried below the surface.

I noticed the butt end of the axe pretty quickly, its metal tip catching what light there was in the shadow of the mountain. I pushed myself back to my feet and retrieved the weapon. Rather than just hauling it out by the end, I dug around until I'd uncovered the rest of it.

The head had caught in the leather case the weapon had been in, and I set it all out in the grass. As I'd expected, the leather strap had snapped. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the single layer of relatively soft leather had never really been intended for this sort of thing. Not getting caught in landslides specifically, but rough use more generally. It was as stylish as the axe itself, but nowhere near as functional.

The axe gave me a place to start looking, so I began kicking and pawing at the piled earth nearby. But the more I dug, the less I found, and the less I found, the angrier I got.

"Wallace," Valentine shouted, "It's fine," she insisted, pulling lightly at my sleeve, "These things happen."

"That was half our supplies," I seethed.

Valentine pulled gently but steadily on my sleeve, drawing me away from the landslide and our lost supplies.

"Yes, half," she repeated, "As I said, these things happen, and so I prepared for such an eventuality. We had four weeks of food, now we have two, which is still twice as much as we need."

I closed my eyes and let out a long breath, "Is a week going to be enough time for your sister to resolve matters at home?"

"No," she admitted, "But it is enough time to have a decent chance of finding some other source of food. The mists drop off more than just ill-tempered giants, it's one of the ways that we survived in the early days. Failing that, we head back to Parabuteo."

"Your would-be suitors won't be waiting?"

"More likely men sent by my would-be suitors, and while some may be in the city, most will have headed for Caniforma. It's nothing I haven't planned for, Wallace," she assured me, "Come, the shadows are growing longer, and I'd prefer not to be caught in the pass when night truly falls."

I only needed to look east to see the truth in her words. I could see rolling hills stretching out beyond the shadows cast by the mountains, covered in a carpet of verdant grass, and framed by the clear blue sky above. But those shadows were already speeding towards the horizon. There were only a few hours left before The Long Night arrived.

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Traversing the pass was relatively easy going. I'd been imagining something like The Pass of Caradhras from The Lord of The Rings, where the fellowship nearly froze to death before finally taking the short cut through Moria. Instead, we found ourselves in a space wide enough to put a highway through. There was a bit of an incline, but it was a marked improvement from the hilly pine forest we'd just left. That said, I did find myself tripping a bit more frequently as I was paying little attention to my footing. Instead, my gaze was fixated on the mountains rising above us on either side.

I'd driven through the mountains heading into Banff national park before and that had been quite an experience itself. But between the roof over my head and the fact that I needed to focus on the road, I hadn't been able to appreciate it properly.

"That little magic torch, does it have some sort of time limit before it needs to recharge? Can it burn out entirely?"

Some of the pass was still in shadow, particularly near the base of either of the mountains we were passing between. Near the centre though, where we were walking, there was actually plenty of sun, leading Valentine to put the tin and wood torch back into one of her many pockets.

"In so far as I know, no," she replied, "I've used it through Long Nights before to light the camp. Once even left it on for a few weeks when I forgot to turn it off after using it during a survey. The reason I put it away is just so I wouldn't have it shining in my face."

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"Do you do any enchantment yourself?"

"Enchantment is time-consuming, as is the wood and metalworking necessary to make a piece worthy of enchanting in the first place," she explained, "I typically commission what I need."

I frowned in thought, "Does your little torchy thing need to be so nicely carved to make the magic work?"

She shook her head, "As you can imagine, a new class of craftsmen suddenly springing up threw guild politics into disarray. One of the ways that the enchanters secured their position was by making agreements with the metalworker's guild to purchase such trifles to use for enchantments. One may enchant nearly anything, but try to sell it, and one should expect both the enchanter's and metalworker's guild to take a poor view."

Getting involved in the politics of post-medieval market economics didn't sound like a great time, however...

"What about Simon? Has he started getting up in the guilds' business?"

Valentine shook her head once again, "In Pelignos it's the slaves that do the work, skilled or otherwise. And as the slaves are the domain of the men, it's the men who run the guilds. There are non-fey he's brought under his sway, but they are relatively few, and as far as I know, none are in any position of relevance with the guilds of Caniforma or Parabuteo. Besides," she added absently, "Simon's only redeeming quality is that he finds slavery as distasteful as I do."

"What about his servants then? Does he grant their freedom then pay them a salary, how does that even work?"

Valentine's expression darkened, "There are no provisions for free Sprites. Every Sprite, by definition, belongs to someone. No, Simon's servants are Fey."

"I got the impression that Fey couldn't stand up to that sort of work, your fancy jewellery making you the exception," I added.

"There's this uniform he has them all wear, like as not, it's enchanted in a similar way to my amulet."

I sighed in exasperation, "Would you mind describing the uniform?"

Valentine glanced up at me, frowning, "A black dress with white frills, some other decoration, also white, and a white apron. Often a headband and sheer white stockings as well. He's been heard to say it's a common uniform for human servants, maids, is the word Simon uses. Though I doubt they're maids once he's through with them," she added wryly, "Why, is there something abnormal about the uniform?"

"Abnormal? You wanna talk about abnormal? Where even to begin," I sighed.

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It had become clear that we wouldn't make it out of the pass before nightfall. We'd made it to the highest point in the pass and were on our way back down, but from the looks of things, there were five or six more miles before we'd see the end of it.

"Let me know if you spy somewhere suitable to rest for the night. It doesn't appear as if it's likely to rain, but somewhere high would still be ideal," she hedged.

"You see those hedges a ways down the hill?"

The transition wasn't as abrupt as what we'd found between the pine forest and the scrubby hills that lead into the pass, but about a mile ahead there was a noticeable change in the type of vegetation, even the colour of the grass. It was hard to be specific, what with the setting sun giving everything an orange tint, but it looked to me that the coarse brown grass and short twisted vegetation gave way to an environment that was a great deal better hydrated. And among that, was a row of hedges, several feet taller than myself, and planted all in a row.

"Yes," Valentine said slowly, "They do seem to have been planted deliberately. If we're lucky, perhaps we can sleep with a proper roof over our heads, perhaps a farmhouse?"

"Maybe," I allowed, "But I think I can see the sunlight reflecting off something. If we're lucky, there'll be something modern and human. Actually," I added, squinting into the distance, "I can't tell if it's the shadows playing tricks, but I think there's also a road down there."

Valentine shrugged, "Your eyes are better than mine. In any case, the hedge would make a good windbreak if we do need to pitch our tents."

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The sun had set by the time we made it to the hedgerow, and without The Father in the sky, there was only starlight and Valentine's torches to guide our way. Yes, torches, as in plural. She'd handed me one of her spares, as without The Father in the sky I was as blind as she was at night.

My speculation about there being a transition to a new area turned out to be correct, and the road I'd spotted earlier showed precisely where that transition was. Here was the coarse grass we'd been walking across for hours, and a few steps further there was a modern asphalt road.

Two lanes, solid white lines on either side, and a dashed line down the centre. Pretty normal, all things considered. There were no sidewalks, which placed it at the outskirts of a town, maybe a small city, but as far as I knew it could date to any time since the forties.

Valentine scuffed at the road with her foot, "When you mentioned a road I thought it would be dirt or gravel. Maybe cobblestone, but this seems to be all one piece."

"Asphalt is poured," I explained, "It'll crack and get broken up over time, but this street looks like it was put down recently."

Valentine raised the torch over her head, "As fascinating as it is to listen to you explaining the intricacies of human road building, let's find out what's behind those hedges so we can get some damned rest."

"After you, your highness."

I'd been hoping for a grocery store, maybe a Wal-Mart or Candian Tire, but we weren't quite that fortunate.

"What manner of business is this?" Valentine asked with evident confusion, "With this covering, I would guess some sort of restaurant, but there is an unpleasant smell, and I see no tables."

It was a gas station, and the 'covering' she was referring too was the roof that covered the rows of gas pumps. It was large as gas stations went, with the roof high enough to accommodate semi-trucks, but not so large as to have amenities like showers or the like.

"That's the gasoline, the closest thing you'd be familiar with is probably lamp oil," I guessed, "If the smell is bothering you we can try to find somewhere else nearby, I don't know, upwind maybe? But I'd still want to check out what's inside."

"I'll endure," she assured me, "Besides, I don't think we'll find a safer place to set up camp than up on this roof. Though climbing up may be a bother."

"There should be a way up to the roof inside," I told her, nodding towards the store.

The door wasn't locked, and I ducked inside, avoiding the doorframe but not the little bell hanging on a string. I half-expected someone to come out from the backroom, but after a moment it was clear that Valentine and I were the only ones here.

I threaded my way through the shelves to the back of the store and pulled open the glass door to one of the many refrigerators. As expected, the power was off, but the sports drink I picked up was still cool to the touch.

"Is this all food?" Valentine asked incredulously.

I twisted off the cap and took a long draw from the bottle. The label was in no language I recognized, but the numbers on the bottle were familiar enough.

"Yeah," I said finally, "Well, 'food' is maybe overly generous. A lot of this is junk food, and probably not worth the trouble of taking with us. All these sports drinks, maybe the bottled water too, that might be worth taking."

Valentine furrowed her brows, "Junk food? This place sells food that is garbage? And what is a sports drink?"

There's a commentary on the modern diet right there.

"Junk food is food that is sweet or fatty, but with little nutritional value. I suppose it's better than nothing, but it's not very healthy. And a sports drink, well it's got-" I hesitated, how was I going to explain electrolytes, did I even know what electrolytes were?

"You know what, maybe it's all just marketing to sell more drinks, but the idea is that stuff like this," I explained, lifting the bottle, "Is supposed to have," I waved my hands vaguely, "stuff in it, to help replace what you lose when exercising. The only thing I do know for sure about it is that when the Florida Gators, that's a football team, first figured out the whole sports drink thing, they ended up doing pretty well."

"Football, this is a sport?"

I nodded, "That's what I'm told."

"And all this food, we leave it here?"

"Tell you what," I decided, "You try to find the way up to the roof, there might be a key behind the counter or something, and I'll sort through all this. There might be some stuff worth bringing, granola bars, that sort of thing. And if you see something we can use as a pack- Well, it'll be a lot easier to carry all this."

She nodded, and I heard her rustling around behind the counter while I began pulling things off the shelf to arrange in two piles. The sports drinks, soda, and water, those all stayed in the fridge. It wasn't very cold by now, twelve or so hours after losing power, but with refrigeration being all but unheard of, I figured I should make the most of what would probably be my last chance to get a cold drink for a while.

Anything I decided was too junky to bother with, that too stayed where it was. Granola bars, meal replacement bars, energy bars, basically any sort of bar that could reasonably be considered food, those went in the 'probably food' pile with packages of trail mix, peanuts, and almonds. Then, there was the 'delicious treats' pile, which was mostly just a few large European style chocolate bars.

Lastly, there was the 'not food' pile. Despite there not being any food, this was my favourite pile, mostly because it contained razors, shaving cream, toothbrushes, and toothpaste. It wasn't a shower, but damn was it welcome. There were also several packages of batteries and a couple cheap flashlights. Not anywhere near as good as the torch Valentine had lent me, but it was the sort of thing that might come in useful later down the line, if only to fuel a spell.

The door to the backroom creaked open a little while later, and Valentine emerged bearing a dusty old backpack.

"Trade?" she offered, "I found the way up. I'll set up camp while you sort all this out."

I unslung our one remaining pack of supplies and handed it to her, "Sure, you still got the keys?"

She tossed the keys over, "As you like."

She left to go set up, and I walked back over to the counter where the cash register sat. And after trying a couple of keys there was a ka-ching, and the drawer popped open.

Inside were a variety of American style bills, though the language was the same unrecognizable gibberish as I'd seen on the products I'd been sorting through. I left the bills, worthless as they were, and instead gathered up the loose change and rolls of coin.

Valentine had said that all matter contained mana, and if a few links of silver and gold could form an effective barrier against mental intrusion, then it stood to reason that a handful of copper, zinc, and steel coins would be good for something.

I'll ask Valentine when I get up to the roof. If there's anything I missed we can grab it on our way out.

I stuffed the coins into a side pocket of the backpack and then began to fill it up with what I'd pulled off the shelves. I quickly realized that the contents of each package of granola bars was mostly air, so I dumped it all back out and began pulling open boxes. True enough, they were all about half empty. Every other box I opened I dumped out and tossed aside, before putting the contents into one of the other boxes and closing it back up. It was time-consuming, but apart from allowing me to carry a greater volume of food, using the boxes rather than dumping all the bars right into the backpack would keep them from getting too mashed up while I was hiking.

I went and turned the deadbolt, locking the front doors. Granted, they were made of glass and had no security grate, but at least the noise of them breaking would wake Valentine and I up. Our security assured, I stepped through into the back room.

Not much of interest back here, there were some cleaning supplies, an ancient computer, and one of those big ten-pound fire extinguishers, but nothing that jumped out as being tremendously useful. There was the safe, but getting through that might take ages, and coin collecting was only going to be so helpful.

Instead, I summited the stairs. Not an easy task for someone my size, and I found myself going up sideways since my feet wouldn't even fit on the steps if I tried to take them straight on.

And there was Valentine. Cooking. Over an open fire.

"Valentine."

She glanced over, eyebrows raised, "Finally, I was about this far from letting you go hungry."

"Oh, so you're done cooking then?"

"Yes, astounding I know," she said wryly, "A noblewoman has cooked for you-"

"That's great," I interrupted, "Now for the love of fucking god, would you please put out the fire so the massive tank of gasoline under our feet doesn't ignite, explode, and kill us both?"

There was a long pause, and then Valentine found her voice, "I- um, do you maybe have something I could-"

I dropped the backpack and ran down the stairs. I fell about the last five feet or so and banged up my knees, but I got my hands on the fire extinguisher and hauled it back up to the roof.

Valentine clearly had no idea what the hell the big red thing I held was, but she was mindful enough to move the pot out of the way so I could cut loose with the extinguisher.

I pulled the pin and squeezed the trigger, and a gout of white carbon dioxide came streaming out to smother the flames. I made damn sure that the fire was completely out, before tossing the fire extinguisher to the side, where it hit the gravel with a solid thunk.

You know, I wasn't expecting to need that until the second act.

Valentine, still sitting on the ground, the pot of stew at her side, looked up at me with an almost worried expression, "Were we in that great a danger?"

I nodded grimly, "Yeah, especially if the tanks of gas got cracked or something when this whole place was ported over by the mists. The roof here is probably the least bad place to have a fire, and granted, it was burning while you were cooking and nothing went wrong, so we're probably fine. But if something had happened, they would have seen the fireball back in Parabuteo."

"My apologies Wallace," she said quietly, "Ah, would you like some stew?"