<>

\Again, somehow, for the second time in her presence, I found myself at loss for words. I stood there, floundering around the empty space inside my head for the magic words that could somehow pacify her.

In my silence, Jin stepped up to the plate, cautiously on approach, yet still maintaining distance just as a precaution.

“It’s alright,” he said, somehow maintaining calm in the face of her ire. “I expected this from you.”

The instant snap of her neck at the sound of his voice was so fast, I’m surprised she didn’t get whiplash.

“No, shut up, no,” she raised a finger in warning. “You don’t get to ‘you’ me, you.”

Jin narrowed his lips, choosing silence as his best course of action. I would have done the same.

The warmth of her voice, the friendliness of her appearance, anger had contorted it all to an icy chill of deep utter loathing. She marched towards him, her hands clenched into trembling fists. The bow gave a high-pitch squeal in her tight grip and I almost felt sorry for it.

“Oh, you, you, you, you, YOU!” Ayako yelled, the stomps of her feet keeping in time with each accusatory ‘You’, swiftly closing the gap between them.

She stopped, a finger pressing squarely at his chest, a scornful breath heaving in and out of her.

“Ayako…” Jin began.

“I hate you,” She cut him off. “I never wanted to see you again.”

Jin chanced a fleeting look at me for aid, but I had nothing to offer him, so sadly, he was on his own.

“I can understand that,” he said softly.

“Too much to ask for was it?” One finger turned to five spread out, violently seizing a hold on his dark leather tunic. “Never to see your face again, never to have you in my thoughts again, was that too much to ask for?!”

“No...”

“Is it?!”

“No!”

“So why are you here, then?!” She yelled, her voice audibly straining. “Why are you in my face again?!”

“Because we wanted to ask for your help, alright?!”

“My help! You even dare?” She held on even tighter. “The fucking nerve to come crawling my way after what you’ve done?!”

“Should I take that as a no then?”

“Don’t you fucking act coy with me.”

Her eyes looked ready to bulge out of their sockets with hate. She gritted her teeth like a lion baring fangs. I half-expected her to start gnawing on his face at any time but she seemed to have settled for a stare that could pierce deeper than any blade.

Now, I was no stranger to her brazen displays of anger. It wouldn’t be the first time. Occasional streams of rage-inducing games can bring out the absolute worst in people and Ayako was no exception.

I’ve heard her yell before. Seen her have bouts of rage over particularly frustrating levels. An abused keyboard, a dented desk. Her temper was simply another typical Tuesday for me.

But this was something else.

“Sora, why?” She asked, calling out so suddenly that I flinched at the sound of my name. “Of all people, him - are you out of your mind?!”

Now that’s uncalled for.

“The position I’m in doesn’t really leave me with much room for options so I’ll take what I can get.”

“Standards can only get so low,” She grumbled, scowling at him again. “I’m surprised you even counted him as an option.”

“You finished?” Jin’s tone has begun to rise, and I could sense someone else's patience wearing down. “Or does it feel too good to stop? I get it, gotta keep that anger flowing otherwise that thick skull of yours would burst at seams at the thought of being bothered with anything else other than your petty little grudge.”

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

“Goddamn you, Jin!” She shoved him away, effort with enough potency to have him stumbling backward and yet the anger that lashed out with her words did not fit the quivering of her eyes.

“You killed us,” she said, her breath wavering. “All of us.”

“And I’m trying to fix it,” Jin fired back at once. “I want to save us.”

“So was he!” Ayako pointed at my direction. “And you took away that chance. We lost it, we’re never getting it back... and it’s all your fault.”

I decided enough was enough, treading carefully, I placed myself between the two of them.

“That’s enough, Ayako… really,” a firmness in tone, I looked her in the eye. “You said your piece. You can keep screaming and blaming but it’s not going to solve anything.”

But her eyes merely looked through me, never straying once from her true target.

“It doesn’t have to,” She answered, glowering. “So long as it means he never gets another smile on his face, it’s good enough for me!”

“And what good would that do?”

“It’ll bring me a right sense of satisfaction, that’s what it’ll do!” She finally turned my way. “Whatever shit he’s trying to pull off, whatever smooth-talk he did on you, I’ll tell you now, it’s not going to work on me. I won’t give two shits. All he wants is redemption and he’s not gonna get it… not from me.”

I stood my ground. “Ayako…”

“And you!” She yelled, an inkling of betrayal plastered within her inflection. “Defending him! Have you seriously forgotten all the good he has done for you? Hunted, hated, all over a misunderstanding because of him.”

“Stop making things personal.”

“Things are always personal! Every time someone dies, it gets personal. The very moment we were trapped here, he made it personal! What - we’re supposed to just let go of the hate, move on - ‘accidents happen’, is that it? Is that really all the deaths that happened amounted up to?!”

“I never said that alright? Quit putting words in my mouth!” I was starting to lose my nerve, it was clear she already decided to ignore what I had to say no matter what it ended up being. “Look - keep your grudge, keep your hate. That’s fine with me. But we won’t make it out here alive if we don’t start working together. That’s all I’m trying to tell you.”

“I already said I won’t! It’s his fault to begin with!”

“Ayako, enough!”

“My fault?” Jin suddenly muttered. “God, you just keep hammering that in, don’t you?”

Visibly flustered, he began aggressively rubbing the creases on his forehead, “You don’t think I know that already? You don’t think it’s ever crossed my mind? It’s all I can think about, you idiot!”

“Good!” Ayako roared. “And I hope you’re suffering for it!”

“I AM!”

His yell overpowered her own, words that boomed throughout the room, resonating, into a strange type of silence, where the only thing audible was our own collected breathing.

“Every morning, every night, every drop of that counter, every death that happens,” He looked at her again, into her wild fuming eyes, unwilling to put up a struggle anymore. “There is no one else here who can blame me more for what happened that day than I.

His glance offset to the ground, speaking in words unsure of any intent, he continued barely in a whisper.

“It happened and I regret it. Things could have been different but it isn’t. I could have reacted differently, done something differently… but I didn’t. Now we’re stuck here and I -”

A fumble of words cutting him short, his mouth left wide open in complete silence. His eyes feigning no dishonesty, no lies… the sorrow within them left unuttered.

He swallowed, then exhaled a sigh.

”Look, I know I can’t take it all back… I wish that I could, I really do but I can’t. God knows I do,” He looked to me, briefly, before turning back to her. “But he knows damn well that I am doing all I can to make things right and he knows that I am trying.”

He brandished his severed arm, “I’m trying!”

Ayako did not respond, seemingly too stunned to argue any longer. Anger still resided on her face, nevertheless, I took her quiet as a chance to talk.

“You don’t need to forgive him,” I said.

Her expression was slightly lax but she failed to meet my gaze, “I wasn’t planning to.”

“Okay, that’s okay. But just this once, for me, play nice until we get through this, alright?”

A small glare in a half-glance, she thinned her lips.

I pushed on, “You wanted to make it up to me, didn’t you? If you truly felt sorry, you’ll do this for me.”

“Now you’re just being unreasonable.”

“Trolls, creeps, and stalkers,” I counted them on my fingertips. “He’s neither of that. Should be a walk in the park, right?”

She clicked her tongue once, then took the longest time to decide upon a decision, meeting my eyes again, while still retaining a little bit of the annoyance that seemingly won’t subside.

“Any funny business from him and I’ll -”

“I’ll personally tie his hands behind his back as you kick him in the balls to your heart's content” I finished for her. “Now what do you say?”

Silence.

“Will you shake on it at least?”

“I’m not shaking hands with him! Are you mad?! I -”

“Mine.”

“Oh.”

She gave my outstretched hand a dubious stare before she finally offered her own. Before she could think twice on it, I snatched her open palm, seizing it with a clutch and then firmly, absolutely, we shook hands.

And another one joins the party.

Relief in my corner as we loosen our grips. Reluctant on her own as we broke apart.

“You better not make me regret this.”