Soo... I died, un-died, and now I'm blind. Things could be a lot worse, I could be dead still. That would suck. See? Bright side! 

...Who am I kidding, I got scammed.

Let me start at the beginning.

I was an average nerd who loved litRPG and video games and such. I got squished by a vending machine, which is actually a lot more common than you'd think. Went to the afterlife- or at least what I think was the afterlife. I'm not too sure. Met a lady who reminded me of a certain computer mainframe from a very on-theme show.

The computer lady gave me the "You Died!" talk. Honestly, I was distracted by all the weirdness going on in the background. It was some of the most absurd stuff I've ever seen. I'm not kidding! If you saw an observer made of impossibly dimensioned scarves, you'd be staring too. But I'm getting sidetracked.

The secretary (?) had to very loudly "Ah-hem" at me before I noticed she had asked me something. 

"Sorry, sorry, can you repeat that?"

"It's a Simple yes or no question."

"Uh, Yes?"

Computer lady beamed at me. It felt malicious.

"Excellent! We'll have you placed right away."

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

After that, I blacked out. And now we're here.

.. Where is here? I can't see anything. 

First thing's first. "Menu!"

... Nothing. Alright then, "Status!" 

A screen popped up, here we go. 

Sword Spirit    -    lvl. 1 Mana 2/2

Attributes:

   Steel Flesh

   Sharp Edge

   Harmonize

Abilities:

   Spectral Sight

A few questions. One, where's my health bar? Two, what's a Sword Spirit? Three, If I have a sight ability, why can't I SEE.

That seemed to do Something as light flooded my vision, then faded like a developing photo. All around me shapes formed people. People! Elves and Dwarves and Rito and Tieflings! Just seeing them has got me squealing in excitement. I always wanted to be the protagonist in one of those fantasy novels!

I've got a full 180 view of a blacksmith's, seeing all the intricate armour, weapons, and shields scattered about various shelves. A bit strange for my spawn point, but certainly convenient. Straight to the point it is! I'll just walk over.. to.. Wait.

Where are my legs?

I can't feel anything, for that matter. What limbs do I have? 

I spot a big shiny surface across the store and focus in on it, but can't find myself. The only thing on this side of the store is some gnarly looking sword that's hung up on the wall. I'm not a ghost, am I? My window did say I was a spirit.

Hold on, My window. I look back at it, then my impromptu mirror. Then again. and again.

You've got to be kidding. I almost don't want to believe it, but something in me knows it's true. If I had blood, it would be running cold. 

Wow. Fuck you too, Janet.