Randolf rushed towards the Alliance Center. Apparently, the team that was supposed to take over the escort mission had just arrived. Whoever they were, the harpy wanted to be sure that they could protect his people. He understood that they were at war, and there were certain priorities to be considered when getting an escort. But he wasn’t about to bring his people to one of the active battlefronts if the group sent by the Alliance proved to be a bunch of morons who couldn’t even defend themselves.

Walking fast right behind him were Drew and Veronica, the two elves who completed the caravan. Normally, they had a much larger group of people working with them, but due to the danger of the situation, only the strongest members were allowed to come. All of them were really worried about the entire situation. Just accepting this job was already something that made them tense. Knowing they wouldn’t have the level 60 team protecting them at their destination was the cherry on top.

They arrived at the Alliance Center and moved towards the meeting rooms. This city was a regular spot for their travels and the people working here already knew them well. Because of that, the receptionist that told him about the arrival also added the location where this group was waiting. Unfortunately, inside the building he couldn’t fly to move faster, forcing the harpy to walk.

Just as he turned a corner, he bumped into a wall that was slightly sticky. Taking a step back, he looked up and saw a bipedal lizard that was over 3 meters tall.

“What the?” he gasped as he saw its eyes focus on him.

“Are you Randolf?” the lizard asked.

“Y-Yes,” the harpy replied in shock.

“Great,” the lizard replied and, with a quick motion, grabbed Randolph with both hands, holding the man in front of it. The lizard turned around and walked straight towards a closed rod as Drew and Veronica started shouting for help while following along.

Just as they were about to hit the door, they opened. Revealing a pair of people with scales, two arms, but a snake’s tail instead of legs.

“I found Randolf,” the lizard said while placing the harpy in a chair.

Randolf and the other caravan members were staring at a group of 13 people. A dwarf, a beastmen, an elf, a triton, a harpy, and another 8 different species of people. They were all covered from head to toe by blood, a pungent mud-like substance, and a green viscous thing that was very similar to something easy to find on the floor of college parties. They all looked miserable with the exception of the harpy, who was still perfectly clean with his black and gold shirt, parachute pants and a pair of maracas hanging from his waist.

“Livy, people generally don’t like being handled that way,” one of the species Randolf didn’t recognize said.

“People also don’t like having to wait like this, but here we are,” the Leviathan huffed.

Hera just nodded and turned to the recently arrived harpy, some of that mud dripping from the tip of her ears, “Now, Mr. Randolf. I understand that you wanted to talk to us as soon as we arrived. Do you mind being quick about it?”

“Are… are you the new escort team?” Randolf asked while Drew and Veronica just stared at this group.

“Fuck me, are you that slow? Yes, we are the fucking escort team,” the dwarf yelled, the only things that could be seen from his face were the whites of his eyes, everything else was covered in various substances.

“Flint, behave. You are starting to sound like Vulcan when he’s above 80%,” Hera turned to Forge, who was using his tail to prop himself up while keeping his head low, “How are you, by the way?”

“39%. It was 30 when we got here, but then we had to wait,” Forge grumbled.

“Skyler, Skyler! My nose, please!” Neria suddenly yelled, the triton was sitting on a chair leaning her head back looking up to the ceiling, not moving.

“Calm down,” Skyler waved her hand and cast another spell on the healer, forcing her nose to smell only a specific scent. Cheese balls was the current choice. It was the only thing she could make that was strong enough to overpower what covered them. Skyler sighed and turned back to Randolf, “Look. We had a really fucking long day. And we didn’t think we would be going on this mission when we woke up. We had to rush here and killed I don’t know, 600 monsters in total. Right?” she looked at the rest of the group.

Roan, who was the entire time with his head pressed against the table, replied without looking up, “You kept track? I stopped counting after the crocodiles.”

“Either way, it was a long one, and we really wanted to take a shower. So, since you threatened to just abandon this mission and leave unless we talked with you as soon as we arrived. We are here. What do you want to talk about?” Skyler asked.

“I… I just wanted to know if you were strong enough to protect us.”

“We are,” the entire group replied at the same time.

Randolf was starting to gather his bearings and could have a proper conversation, “I’m sorry, but it’s hard to just take your word for it.”

Hera groaned and stepped forward, making the two elves who were by the door to step back due to the smell, “Look. I’m level 56 and I’m the lowest level of the group. I also have a legacy that can make them,” she pointed to the titled blades, “And each of them is either as powerful as me or stronger. In addition,” she snapped her fingers, her claws making a louder noise than she expected as the entire court came out, “I have these. Sentient weapons that can talk, plan and fight on their own. And again. I’m not the strongest member of this group. Just the most versatile. So can we go clean this literal shit up and have you not threatening the army or do we still have a problem? If you really need to talk, we can come back in like an hour after we cleaned ourselves up.”

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Neria raised a hand with two fingers out, “Two. I need two hours. One for the shower, and another to heal after all the scrubbing I have to do,” she paused and with a haunted voice added, “It got everywhere.”

“Can you heal us, too? I wouldn’t mind a stronger scrubbing,” Flint asked.

“Sure. After me.”

“Ok, so three hours. After that, we can talk. How about it?”

Before Randolf could reply, one of the people who worked in the Alliance Center walked inside carrying a pile with 20 towels, “Hi. Sorry it took so long. We didn’t have any clean towels here. I got these from a hotel nearby.”

Nimbus walked over and created a barrier under the towels to work like a serving tray, “Thank you very much. If it’s not too much of a bother, could you also get us some clothes? We will need to send our gear to a cleaner,” his voice was calm and mellow as he passed the towels along to everyone.

Hera tried to clean her face. Just a single wipe was enough to turn the soft white fabric into little more than an old, used rag. There was a good half centimeter thick layer of sludge all over her body.

After a moment staring at Nimbus, the clerk turned to the rest of the group, “We have a place here in the center made to clean larger things. Carts and stuff, but since that,” he gestured to the sludge, “Is a more or less regular occurrence here, we can set up some partitions for you to take a shower there. High pressure water and industrial grade soap, and you won’t have to worry about clogging the drain. It’s also easier for us to clean later.”

“Perfect,” Hera nodded and turned to the Leviathan, “Think you can lower the strength of your breath attack?”

Livy nodded with a smile, “Of course.”

“Wait. I’m still not done,” Randolf regretted his words as soon as they came out of his mouth, when the entire group aggressively shifted their heads towards him.

“Can I make a suggestion?” Vash raised his wing, turning the anger of the group towards him.

“Be very careful with your words. You last suggestion put us in this mess,” Skyler was staring daggers at the harpy.

Vash took a step back, “You go take a shower, and I’ll talk with Randolf.”

“Is that fine with you?” Hera turned to the caravan leader.

“I guess…” Randolf frowned. Still unsure if this was the best idea, but the Harmony Guardians didn’t give a chance for him to change his mind and quickly started to leave.

“And don’t worry about the cleaning clothes and towel. I’ll pay for everything,” Vash said.

“That’s a given,” Flint huffed.

“I’ll order food too. You will be hungry later, right? Do you want anything specific?” Vash asked, trying to find a way to apologize.

“Wings!” the rest of the group replied, all at the same time making their harpy companion flinch.

A few moments passed, and the clerk suggested for Randolf and the others to use a different room, since this one was still covered in sticky footprints. No one would use this place before a thorough cleaning. Now that the shock had passed completely, the caravan leader realized how awful the smell in here was. A mixture of old sewage with sulfur and rotten fruit.

While they walked to the new meeting room, and the clerk called someone over to clean that mess, Vash noticed how Randolf was a bit quiet, “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah.. I mean. No. I just… this was a lot and I don’t know if that mention of them wanting to eat wings was racist or not,” Randolf admitted.

“Oh. It wasn’t. They just know I’m a bit squeamish around wings as food. They are delicious, but the visual is…” Vash opened his own wings, “Not great.”

“Ah. I see. I have the same reaction with chicken feet,” Randolf nodded.

“Really? That one never bothered me,” Vash admitted.

“Sorry, but what happened with all of you?” Drew finally spoke.

They arrived at the meeting room and sat down before Vash started explaining.

“So. We were close by, but we had to pass Calypso Beach. There, a bunch of crocodiles started attacking us like crazy. Hundreds of them. After that we got here, and since we were tired, I suggested for them to pass through the woods instead of going the long way around. I flew above the place and everything seemed clear.”

“You mean the forest up north? But that’s Sludge Frog territory,” Veronica asked.

“Yes… We didn’t know. And apparently the path we took was right between the Sludge Frogs and the Rolling Boils. Those giant balls of flesh that keep spitting… something? Anyway, they also can create illusions around their territory to make it look normal and not the mess that they actually are. They passed through the forest while I flew above them.”

“You didn’t stop to help them?” Drew frowned.

“I couldn’t find them. I could hear them in the communicators, but from the outside I couldn’t see them. And they couldn’t see me from the inside. So I didn’t have a way to find them.”

“You didn’t have a way to pass by a small illusion like that one?” Randolf was clearly starting to doubt the strength of the Harmony Guardians.

“Ok, look. If I really wanted to, yes, I could’ve helped. But when they started yelling about ‘it’s in my mouth,’ and ‘this is disgusting,’ I wasn’t feeling like helping. They were not in danger, I mean, the most those monsters were able to do was push them to the side and make them slip. But then they fell in the pool of… what I hope was mud.”

“It wasn’t. If the Rolling Boils were involved, it wasn’t mud,” Drew added.

“Well… Then they have every reason to be pissed at me. Besides, this is new, I don’t want to get it that dirty,” Vash pinched his clothes.

“Wait. You said there were a couple hundred crocodiles. Did you kill all of them?” Randolf asked.

“No, no. We got maybe 100 in total between all of us.”

“So the other 500 monsters that the elf mentioned were all here? How long did you stay in that forest?”

“Oh. Like an hour. But the fight only lasted maybe 20 minutes, spread across a few intervals. With one big free for all with like 200 monsters that lasted around 10 minutes. The rest of the time, they were just cussing and trying to leave without touching anything. No one even had to use their big cooldown skills. Actually, no. Neria did when a piece of something got in her mouth. She flipped the lid a bit. But that was just a big wave. But anyway. What can I do to make you more comfortable with us? I know you don’t know our strength, but I assure you we got this,” Vash tried to change the subject, realizing that they might tell the others that he didn’t help them, even if he could.

“Honestly. I am calm now. If you can do all that in 20 minutes, I don’t think I have to worry,” Randolf felt a weight fall off his shoulder. Individually, the Sludge Frogs and the Rolling Boils were not dangerous. But if they attacked in groups, even experienced parties would struggle. If it was a swarm of 50 or more, people were advised to stay away from the forest until a high level team got rid of the monsters, and the bigger the group, the stronger the team had to be. If the Harmony Guardians could take 200 of them, even if it were 100 of each, they were already stronger than the elite teams the Alliance would call to deal with that kind of problem. And likely strong enough to protect the caravan from any attack.