Ethan looked at the clock: 1:00 p.m. There were only fifteen minutes left to finish the test. He glanced at his scantron sheet; four A’s in a row made him paranoid. He read question twenty-five in his head.

Which of the following organelles is responsible for energy production in a cell? Huh…

The sound of his classmates’ pencils scribbling made him breathe quicker. He rested his hand under his chin, tapping his pencil against the desk.

Across the room, his friend Jackson stood, walked over to Mrs. Lincoln’s desk and handed her his test. Jackson was the sixth one to finish the biology test, and Ethan was only at the halfway point. Panic set in as his thoughts scrambled. He bubbled in “B) Ribosome” and moved on to the next question.

He hated the way his brain worked. He had studied for three days, creating flashcards to memorize the terms and their functions and rewriting the notes he had taken on his laptop by hand, hoping it would help, but it rarely did.

He began to heat up, quickly reading and bubbling in answers. He worried more about not having four A’s or C’s in a row than getting the correct answer.

Another student stood, and a few seconds later, another.

He looked at the clock again: 1:08 p.m. Only ten questions left. His hand shook as he glanced at them and bubbled in the answer. He made it to the last question. He took a deep breath, calming himself.

What is the primary function of the ribosomes in a cell? I know this.

He bubbled in “A) Synthesizing proteins.”

Ethan bolted up and handed Mrs. Lincoln his test. She smiled, and he returned the gesture. He grabbed his backpack and walked past the desks of the six remaining students into the hall.

As his thoughts calmed, he realized he had chosen the wrong answer for question twenty-five. It couldn’t have been “B) Ribosome” because ribosomes synthesize proteins; mitochondria are the organelles responsible for energy production. He knew that, but he still picked the wrong answer.

They got a short break in between tests, and Ethan entered the cafeteria. Some of the other students were panicking, doing last-minute studying, flipping through their binders and notebooks, and asking peers and friends questions.

He spotted Jackson sitting at an empty table and sat next to him.

Jackson looked up from his phone, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “How do you think you did?”

“Horrible.”

“Can’t be worse than me. Thank god it’s the last day. You doing anything over winter break?”

“Nah.” Ethan pulled out his phone. “Probably just gonna rot in bed every day.” His mom had texted him.

“Doesn’t sound like a bad way to spend the break. My parents and I are going to California to visit my sister. She’s dating some guy who makes a living off live streaming. Maybe I should give that a shot.”

“Why not…” Ethan said, not looking up. His mother’s texts were frantic.

12:32 PM: Ethan, I’m sorry about last week. Can you call?

12:33 PM: I forgot today’s testing day. I’m sure you’ll do great. Can you call me when you’re finished?

12:34 PM: I just want to hear your voice. Good luck, sweetie.

12:44 PM: Just send me a quick text so I know you’re fine.

12:46 PM: Are you done yet? Isn’t your final day a half day? PLEASE TEXT SOON. Love you.

12:50 PM: Are you ignoring me?

12:57 PM: Forget it.

“You good?” Jackson asked.

Ethan turned off his phone and put it in his pocket. “Yeah, sorry. Looking forward to your last test?”

“No. Algebra 2 is hell. You’re lucky; your last test is in history.”

“I’m lucky because I like it. It makes the tests easier when you actually enjoy the subject.”

The bell rang throughout the school, signaling they had ten minutes to get to their next class.

Ethan stood. “Good luck.”

“You too. I’ll text you over the weekend.”

He nodded, turned, and walked out of the cafeteria.

***

I’m finished, he thought as he walked out the front door of Meadow High and into the cold, overcast skies of Silver Ridge, Oregon. Light rain began to fall.

Ethan tucked his hands in his burgundy hoodie and looked for his dad’s silver SUV in front of the school. The line of cars was backed up, snaking around the parking lot. He leaned against a pillar, shivering slightly, and listened to the conversations around him. One girl was going to Hawaii for Christmas, another was traveling to New York, and one boy complained that his extended family would stay at his house.

His thoughts drifted to Cole, wondering how he was doing. He liked to imagine his brother deciding college wasn’t for him and becoming a beach bum, working as a waiter at some fancy seafood restaurant during the week and lounging on the warm sand during the weekend. Maybe he met a woman, and now they were basking in the sun, far away from the rainy Oregon weather.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Maybe that girl will see him in Hawaii.

The thought was better than some other alternatives. He missed him.

A honk brought him out of his reverie, and he looked up to see his dad’s SUV. He walked over, opened the passenger door, got in, and threw his backpack in the back.

“How’d you do on your tests?” his father asked.

“We’ll see. I’m not sure, though.”

His dad began driving. “I’m sure you did great. You tend to overthink stuff. Linda’s making your favorite tonight: spaghetti and meatballs. A little celebration for making it through half the school year.” His father glanced at him. “And… there’s something we want to tell you.”

“Anything bad?”

His father smiled. “No, no. Exciting news.”

“Mom texted me.” He watched the quick-lived smile fall from his father’s face.

“What’d she say?”

Ethan shrugged. “Just apologized for last week.”

“Did you respond?”

“No.”

“Are you going to?”

“No.”

They pulled out onto the road, passing rolling hills covered in dense forests, the evergreen trees glistening with rain. Muddy puddles dotted the landscape. A heavy silence fell over them, and Ethan watched as a deer darted through the trees and into the forest. It was storm season, and it would rain for days, turning the town into a muddy, sodden landscape.

“Your mother is struggling right now,” his father said. “She still loves you.”

“She’s crazy.”

“She has bipolar disorder. And… Cole disappearing made it worse. Just give her some time; give her a call tomorrow.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Ethan,” his father said sternly.

He turned away, looking out the window. The rest of the drive home was in silence.

***

Ethan sat in bed, looking out the window. He knew he took his neighborhood, Evergreen Glade, for granted. It was surrounded by a lush forest full of Douglas fir, pine, and hemlock trees. Despite the houses being close, the dense foliage provided a sense of privacy.

He cracked open the window and listened to the rustling of pine needles, branches swaying in the breeze, and the hoot of an owl. The sounds calmed him.

When he arrived home from school, his stepmom, Linda, was watching the news. He only saw and listened to it briefly when he greeted her. A mother was sobbing on TV, her husband holding her hand, pleading for their daughter’s whereabouts. They begged for anyone to come forward if they knew anything, to be returned if someone had taken her.

The scene took Ethan back to when he sat behind his sobbing mother begging a crowd of people for any information about Cole.

A weight came over him. It felt as if his thoughts were being dragged under, becoming muffled. He suddenly felt worn out. After greeting Linda, he retreated to his room. The memory of his crying mother lingered. He’d never seen her cry before that moment, and now, he had seen and heard it more than he wished.

“Ethan!” Linda called. “Dinner!”

“Coming!”

He closed the window and went downstairs to the kitchen. His father pulled garlic bread out of the oven, and Linda stirred a green pot full of marinara sauce with meatballs and sausage inside.

“Sit,” Linda said with a joyful tone.

Usually, they would all dish out their food before sitting down, but Ethan didn’t question it and sat at the end of the table.

“Mark,” Linda said, “can you grab the white wine from the fridge.”

“On it, boss.”

She chuckled. After a couple of minutes, she placed a plate of spaghetti before him, and once she and his father sat down, they began eating in a comfortable silence.

Linda and his father kept looking at each other. Her lips quirked, and each time, she took a sip of wine as if to hide that she kept failing not to smile.

Ethan remembered his father said there would be news tonight, and it hit him. His fingers tingled, and he put his fork down. He had a suspicion he knew what they were about to announce.

His father cleared his throat. “Ethan, I know a lot’s changed in the last couple of years, and, well…“

Linda set her wine glass down, her smile finally breaking through. “I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a big brother.”

“Oh.” That was all he could think to say. They stared at him, waiting for more. “That’s… that’s great.”

“We’ve already started thinking of some girl and boy names,” Linda said. “If it’s a girl, our top pick is Sylvia, and if it’s a boy, we were thinking…“ She looked toward his father.

“Cole,” his father finished. “You know, as a way to honor him.”

“That’s stupid,” Ethan said; his face heated up. “What if Cole shows back up next year? You’re just gonna have two sons with the same name?”

His father set his fork down. “Ethan, I know this isn’t easy to say, but it’s been five years. It might be time to acknowledge the possibility he isn’t coming back.”

Ethan bolted up, feeling his insides boiling. “How could you even say that? What, do you not care?”

“Of course, I care. But I can’t be stuck living in limbo. I have to move on. Your mother has to move on. And you do, too. If you don’t, it will only continue eating at you, and I know it has been. I know you’re depressed, even if you don’t want to admit it. You come home and lay in bed until it’s dark; you always look tired and give one-word responses. I think therapy might help. It won’t be easy, but if you learn to move on, even if it’s just a little, it might help. Your brother would want that.”

He scoffed. “What, you think Cole disappearing is the only reason I’m like this? Maybe divorcing mom and moving in with your side piece also contributed to it.”

The room went silent. He didn’t even know why he said that. Linda was always friendly to him, and she didn’t even meet his father until a year after the divorce, but it felt like he had been punched, and he wanted to hit back.

Linda looked down at her plate; his father’s mouth hung open.

Ethan pushed his chair in, turned away, and hastily returned to his room. He changed into sweatpants, threw on a hoodie, and put on his shoes. When he went back down and passed the kitchen archway, Linda was wiping her eyes, and his father had his elbows on the table, hands clasped together, and his forehead resting against them.

He went out the front door and walked down the street. He shook from the cold but didn’t care; he needed to leave that house and calm down.

He made for the edge of the forest and found a log stump. He sat, letting the minutes pass. He reached for his pocket and realized he had forgotten to grab his phone. He looked at the grass and raised an eyebrow. His shadow was being cast from a light. He turned around, facing the forest, and there was an orange glow.

Curiosity drew him toward it, and what he saw halted his thoughts: a hovering, illuminated orange orb.

What the hell, he thought.

A deep voice emanated from the orb. “T-touch.”

He took a step back.

“Me.” This time, the voice was high-pitched. “Ethan.”

“How do you know my name? What are you?”

“Hurry. I need your help.” The orb changed to red, purple, blue, and back to orange.

He stepped forward and cautiously stretched his arm out. The closer his hand got, the warmer it became, and all rational thought told him to turn around and run back home, but he didn’t listen. He touched the orb and gasped as a jolt of pain shot up his arm and to his chest. He keeled over, panting as his entire body became consumed in a growing heat. It grew too unbearable; he started screaming. He bit his tongue and drew blood.

He closed his eyes, and the pain stopped. He felt weightless. When he opened them, he saw lights. They were close, almost as if he could reach out and touch them. It took a moment for him to register that he was no longer convulsing on the cold grass but drifting through stars in an endless void.

Ethan, a voice echoed within his thoughts. I’m sorry.

The space before him seemed to ripple and split apart. Pain struck him again, and he was consumed by darkness.