"How was the rogue girl?" My friend David teased me the next day. I looked up at his blue eyes and scoffed.

"Weirdly polite for a rogue." I said. I didn't want to tell him that I had been thinking about her the whole night. Her amber eyes and her magical hair. The cute little smile and the sound of her laughter.

Why couldn't I forget her? She was just a rogue wasn't she?

I still felt disappointed that she refused my offer to get her a job. I hated that I felt that way.

She. Was. A. Rogue. Why did I want her to stay? Why couldn't I stop thinking of her?

Well whatever it was it better stopped soon. She was gone and she wouldn't come back. At last next week I would be sixteen and then I could finally find my mate.

A thought struck me. What if she was my mate? I let her go. I would probably never see her again. She was a rogue. Wandering around the counties until she crossed the wrong pack and got killed. That is if another rogue wasn't faster.

Somehow this made me sad. "Why did I let her go?" I scolded myself.

"Earth to Vale." David waved in front of my face.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"Told you he spaced out." Tristan said and grinned at me.

"What were you thinking of?" He asked and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him.

"Do packs make rogues uncomfortable?" I blurted out. Damn! I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. First that is such a stupid question and second now I had confirmed to them that I was still thinking about that girl. They would be teasing me for the rest of the week.

"Well, most packs are not very nice to rogues. Some kill them ok site, most at last throw them in their dungeon for a while to make sure the rogue won't trespass again." David said, scratching his head.

"Wolves that left their pack on their own can easily join a new pack, but wolves that got abandoned by their pack, that's a different story. If you think getting rejected by your mate is bad, try getting cast out by your whole pack. That's enough to drive any wolf insane." Tristan sighed.

"And don't forget the deep engraved trust issues they have if they don't go insane. The cases were cast out wolves actually managed to reintegrate in a pack are so rare, you can probably count them on one hand."

I shuddered. Did she get cast out or did she leave an abusive pack? Her hate for packs definitely pointed towards either one and I couldn't tell which one was worse.

"So you are still hung up on rogue-girl." David grinned and I groaned. I knew this would happen. Why ground? Why didn't you swallow me?

"I liked her." Tristan grinned. "Especially how she was making fun of you."

I growled and both of them laughed.

"We should go before we are late for class." I sighed, hoping that this would distract them.

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It kinda did. We started walking towards the school but they were still mentioning that girl.

"Did you kiss her?" Tristan asked.

"Ew!" David said. "Who knows where her lips had been before!"

I held back another growl. Somehow this comment made me angry.

"Just because she's a rogue doesn't mean she's sleeping around." I said instead of ripping David's head off.

"Vale is in love." Tristan sang, mocking me.

"You never know. She might have done even more for money." David shrugged. Reminding me of how our elders told us how harsh live outside a pack was.

Hunting, fighting, survival. Every day could be your last. Competing with other rogues for the limited food.

Before I could say anything else the bell rang. We looked at each other then we ran. We made it to our class just in time.

Our first class was history. I really had no idea why we had to attend a human school and learn about human history, but according to our Alpha ‘this is how it always had been’.

I knew better than to argue about this, but deep inside this answer irked me. What are we? Stupid monkeys?

The bell rang and we went to maths class. Our teacher was just busy checking the homework when Alice knocked on the door and entered.

“Vale. You have to come home. Right now. It is a family emergency."

From the way she was talking I could tell she ran here. Why didn’t she use the mind link? Why didn’t she call? An ominous feeling engulfed me. “Something bad had happened."My mind screamed at me. “No." I thought. I didn’t know why, but suddenly maths was the best class ever. I wanted to keep studying. I didn’t want to go with Alice. I didn’t want to know. I wanted to stay oblivious. Meeting a rogue and complaining about humans and homework being my biggest worry.

I couldn’t remember getting up but in no time I left school with Alice next to me. I opened my mouth to ask. But no words ever left my lips. We used our werewolf strength to run home. Side by side. We got many weird looks. Usually we tried to avoid that, but neither Alice nor me were in the right state of mind.

In front of my house we stopped. I smelled blood. My stomach churned.

What had happened?

I looked at Alice but she shook her head, so I went in alone. The smell of blood grew even stronger, suffocating me. I stumbled up the stairs, following the ever stronger growing smell. It was so strong I could taste it. I felt nauseous.

“No, it is my fault." I heard Dad sobbing.

I pushed the door open. Nothing ever could have prepared me for the scene that unfolded in front of me. Dad was sitting on the ground, tightly clutching onto my Mom. He was ugly crying, covered in blood. It took me a moment to realise where all this blood came from. There was a knife on the floor and my mother had two mouths. One closed and pale, one gaping open like a mocking grin. Her throat had been slit open.

Why would my Mom slit her throat? Who? Why?

“Dad?" I whimpered. I hated how weak my voice sounded. “What happened?" I asked nevertheless.

Dad looked at me as if he just noticed my presence.

“Vale." He whispered. “I am so sorry. It is my fault. All my fault." A sob escaped him. I had never seen my strong and proud Dad like that. He looked broken. Defeated.

“What is your fault?" I asked.

“She killed herself. Because of me. Because of what I did. It is all my fault!" He heard Dad’s voice break. Mom killed herself? Why? Before I could open my mouth I heard footsteps and a moment later someone hugged me. It took me a second to realise it was the luna of our pack. I looked over her shoulder to see the Alpha dealing with my father. Hugging him while slowly prying my dead mother out of his arms. A moment later the pack doctor entered.

I heard Dad wailing while they removed my mother’s corpse from their shared bedroom. There was so much pain in my father’s voice. It broke me.

I stared and the blood and the knife that was left behind while my dead Mom was being carried away. This all felt so unreal. Like a bad dream. Why would Mom kill herself?

It felt like I was not in my own body. I just watched everything that happened. I functioned like a robot.

My father died three days after my mother. One more day passed before it felt like something dark had been lifted from our place. I honestly couldn't recall much from this time. I functioned on autopilot.