“Let me get this straight,” Azalea said with a blank expression. She stared at Grandpa Vremya and pointed at Pravos. “You want to cut her open, and you want me to wear her body like a skinsuit, and afterwards, you want me to kill someone for you while dressed as her? Couldn’t you just have her kill whoever you want me to kill and skip the steps where both her and I are traumatized?” She glanced at Pravos. “Alright, maybe I’ll be the only one traumatized, and she’ll fulfill some sick wish of hers, but can we not?”
“Don’t make me out to be some kind of pervert!”
Grandpa Vremya ignored Pravos’ outburst. “That’s the gist of it,” he said. “Gods are forbidden from hurting one another, so if you wear her body like a piece of armor, you’ll be invulnerable to Istoriya’s attacks. While you’re inside of her, you’ll still be able to control your spiritual energy to attack people outside of her.”
“I should’ve known you were a god,” Azalea said and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. She dragged her palms down her face, stretching it out while groaning. When fingers slipped past her chin, she sighed and stared at Grandpa Vremya. “How’s this going to work? She’s shorter than me.”
“You’ve accepted things surprisingly fast,” Karta said. “No wonder why Vremya’s avatar kept you around for so long. You’re so compliant.”
Azalea’s expression darkened. She wasn’t sure if she was being complimented or insulted, but she did know this talking dog was going to be a pain in the ass. She didn’t know any other talking dogs, but she knew how pains in the ass talked, and the dog talked like one. Before she could retort, Grandpa Vremya cut in. “Don’t worry,” he said and gestured towards Pravos. “Her body stretches. Gods are more resilient than false immortals who’ve passed the tribulation of the body.”
“Why doesn’t she go inside of you?” Pravos asked. “Why does it have to be me!? Why am I the living armor!?”
“We’ve been through this already,” Vremya said. “You and the stinky dog are the most useless ones here when it comes to combat, but you have thumbs.”
Pravos’ expression turned as black as Azalea’s. The two women exchanged glances with each other. “What do you see in him?” Pravos asked. She gestured towards the two Vremya’s. “Exactly what part of that wrinkly, saggy, old man do you love?”
Azalea shook her head, not knowing how to answer. “Is this how it’s going to be?” she asked. “I’m going to wear her”—she jabbed her thumb towards Pravos—“and kill all your enemies for you?”
“There’s only one,” Grandpa Vremya said. “After you kill him, you can keep his divinity, and you’ll become a god as well. Then, you won’t ever have to do this method again.”
“God of history, huh?” Azalea asked. “You’re the god of gravity. Your other self is the god of time. This woman over here is the god of justice. Why does this almost seem normal? I didn’t expect gods to be so similar to normal people.”
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“Aren’t you forgetting someone?” Karta asked. “I’m the god of potato chips and of the marketplace.”
Azalea raised an eyebrow. “Your pet is a god too?”
“I’m not a pet!”
“Whatever you say,” Azalea said, nodding her head. “Alright, I’ll do it. Once I become a god, I should be on equal footing as you, right?”
“You’ll be closer than you are now,” Grandpa Vremya said. He glanced at the phoegons. “As for the four of you…. I’ll get you some divinities later. Since you guys liked eating titan flesh so much, I’ll bring you to a place with lots of titans later, as many as you can eat and more. In fact, people will probably be thankful and pay you for eating them.”
The phoegons licked their lips. Getting paid to eat delicious food? They might not have been born until recently, but they knew a good deal when they heard it. It almost sounded too good to be true!
***
Istoriya’s eyes twitched when he flattened a titan, the beast’s blood splashing on his face. What the hell was Gravitat doing? Why did the god of gravity abandon his post on the frontlines? Titans were invading every part of society! Due to the way the higher dimension was structured, the godly society was surrounded on all sides by the titans, but at the same time, there was one chokepoint, the frontlines that Gravitat held, that united all the entrances to the society. Once the titans breached the chokepoint, they could appear anywhere at any time.
Istoriya whipped out his phone and pressed a few buttons, swiping his fingers a few times. The titans really were everywhere. As a member of the council of primordial gods, he received alerts whenever a titan appeared within the godly society. Usually, they randomly appeared once in a blue moon, and the most commonly accepted explanation was they were capable of being born anywhere, but the chance was just really low. However, the commonly accepted opinion amongst the primordial gods was eons upon eons ago, Vremya indiscriminately launched titans into the far future, and the titans that appeared in present times were the results of his actions back then. This current situation…, it couldn’t be explained by either of those reasons. Something must’ve happened to Gravitat, and the only thing Istoriya could think of was an accident happening with the black hole trapping Vremya.
Istoriya frowned. The only thing he could do was head towards the frontlines himself to see what was happening. He might’ve been well-informed and had lots of gods feeding him information, but those were lowly gods incapable of fighting their way through an endless wave of titans. Right as Istoriya made up his mind and turned towards the direction of the frontlines, three figures appeared in front of him. Istoriya’s eyes widened. “Vremya!?”
“Surprised?” both Vremya’s asked at the same time. One of them spread his arms, freezing everything in the surrounding area. The second Vremya summoned a black hole and smashed it into Istoriya’s home as if the black hole were a giant flail. The third figure, Pravos and her distended body rushed towards Istoriya, swinging a sword made of spiritual energy.
Istoriya frowned. The spiritual energy coming off of that sword wasn’t even that strong. He let it strike his head, and it hurt less than the bite of a tiny ant. However, there was definitely some amount of pain. “You found a loophole?” Istoriya asked. “When the other gods hear about you killing Gravitat, what will they think of you?” Evidently, he noticed Vremya’s avatar flaunting the power of gravity. As someone who prided himself on understanding all the plots that had occurred throughout history, he could obviously tell what had happened.
“They won’t hear about this,” Vremya said and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re going to die here, and no one will even notice. To them, it’ll seem like your divinity left your body for no reason.”
Istoriya grimaced. “Do you think I’ll die as easily as Gravitat did?”
“No,” Vremya said and shook his head. “You’re weaker than Gravitat. I expect you to die more easily.”