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chapter 1

*splat*

The first sound I hear is of my body hitting mud and filth.

-10HP

What in the flying fuck is this thing!?!?!

I look at this floating blue box with red letters inside and I can say i'm thoroughly confused.

Although its slightly transparent, it is incredibly distracting. How do i make it go away?

And just like that it vanished.

Still stunned and confused from both what happened before and now, I take a look at my surroundings.

Just me, trees, mud and what looks like a narrow road.

Well at least I have something to follow and figure myself out.

I get up and brush off what I can, look around and see that nothing I look at is going to give me even the slightest hint of where civilization is so I just start walking down the road.

It gives me some time to reflect on what happened.

Just after I completed my Collection of all of the Music in the world it vanishes, and then I heard a voice and felt extreme pain. I remember I wasn't going to let life or anything take away my obsession which I strived for years to complete.

And that's it, I think I blacked out after that. Everything seems so fuzzy and confusing like a rapidly fading dream.

I assume I'm in a forest as I continue walking thinking about how I should get home from.... where ever the hell

*SNAP*

I quickly turn around and see this sickly green goblin thing, the kind you see in video games, with a dagger creeping out from behind a tree.

As I start to panic, I know how "weak" they are supposed to be in games and such but I haven't even gotten into a fight before let alone a life and death battle with no weapon.

*snap* *crack* *pop*

I see 3 more start to surround me.

!?!? FUCK THIS!!!!!

Full on panic mode and I start to run and they give chase.

Some people laugh when they are nervous, scared, frightened, agitated what have you. I however sing when I'm nervous and the only song that was going through my head at the moment was the song

Run to the Hills by Iron maiden

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Don't own it Just incase we got some hardcore Iron Maiden legal team who reads my stuff (you can never be too careful)

White man came across the sea

He brought us pain and misery

He killed our tribes he killed our creed

He took our game for his own need

We fought him hard we fought him well

Out on the plains we gave him hell

But many came too much for Cree

Oh will we ever be set free?

Riding through dust clouds and barren wastes

Galloping hard on the plains

Chasing the redskins back to their holes

Fighting them at their own game

Murder for freedom the stab in the back

Women and children and cowards attack

Run to the hills, run for your lives

Run to the hills, run for your lives

Soldier blue in the barren wastes

Hunting and killing their game

Raping the women and wasting the men

The only good Indians are tame

Selling them whiskey and taking their gold

Enslaving the young and destroying the old

Run to the hills, run for your lives lyrics from www.azlyrics.com

White man came across the sea

He brought us pain and misery

He killed our tribes he killed our creed

He took our game for his own need

We fought him hard we fought him well

Out on the plains we gave him hell

But many came too much for Cree

Oh will we ever be set free?

Riding through dust clouds and barren wastes

Galloping hard on the plains

Chasing the redskins back to their holes

Fighting them at their own game

Murder for freedom the stab in the back

Women and children and cowards attack

Run to the hills, run for your lives

Run to the hills, run for your lives

Soldier blue in the barren wastes

Hunting and killing their game

Raping the women and wasting the men

The only good Indians are tame

Selling them whiskey and taking their gold

Enslaving the young and destroying the old

Run to the hills, run for your lives

NEW MAGIC DETECTED DIVINE PRESENCE CONFIRMED NEW MAGIC APPROVED MAGIC ACTIVATED DIVINE PRESENCE DISPERSING

WOAH WHAT IS THIS!?!?!

NEW SONG DETECTED

SONG NAME ?????? VOCALS 1 75% INSTRUMENTS 0 0% RANGE 100 Feet AUDIENCE 5

As MUCH as I love pop-ups right in my face when I'm running for my life!!!!

And then I felt something drain from me, I don't know what it was, and then I got much faster.

SONG NAME ???????? AUDIENCE 5 EFFECT Speed boost 25%

However so did my pursuers.

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But not like I can even see with all these pop-ups crowding my view, and once again they vanish. Although it's helpful i have my life on the line to even consider what that could possibly mean.

As they gave chase i happened to see salvation approaching, what looks to be an old time caravan with pulled wagons and horses. They also had a lot of men following them.

"Help ME!!!!"

As i ran towards them they drew their weapons. I ran almost full on into them when i realized i wasn't being chased anymore.

Didn't even see them shoot thier arrows and destroy my would be killers.

I realized what i mess i look like and how haggered i actually was.

As i was about to thank the men as I realized that only a few of them were looking at me while everyone else had their heads on down.

I could feel the tention increase as i looked further on to see chains on everyone who wasn't weilding a weapon.

Slaves? Slavers? did i just run head long from death into chains?

i had better get going as fast as i can.

"ummm thanks a lot.... you look very busy i think ill get going"

Just as i was about turn around and leave as fast as I could and not collapse from exhaustion, a tall well built man gets out form one of the wagons and approches me.

I was still to shocked from death, fatigue, fear not too long ago, the bright blue pop-ups that are still really confusing, and the just how wrong everything felt, i failed to notice i was already surrounded.

Knowing that i couldn't outrun them i summoned what little courage i had i had at the moment and realized there wasn't any so i collapsed there waiting in anticpation for what would happen as the tall and obvious leader of these men approached me.

(Guard A) "Its N'often we 'counter somin' 'lone in these here woods, Unar'ed, an' 'n Dem' fancy' clothes." 

Stumbling over my own words as i seemed to recognize a southern like accent that is both familiar and errie "ummmm, errr, I, uhhhhhh, don't, mnmnnnn, where..... I.... am."

The leader motioned to one of the people behind me and they grabbed and pinned me down

(Leader) "seems like we have a spy here boys, perhaps we should see what the Guards are doing all the way out here and kill the lot once we got all the info from him"

I shudder at the thought and see how much more enunciated his words are compared to the rest of everyone else

(Guard B)"hah, a spy? run'ng fr'm a lv'l 3 'n' 3 lv'l 4 'orest gobbies? 'narmed?, mine as well call him a dwarf and ask for his gold"

(Guard C)"no w'at we g't 'ere 's merch or rich 'ancy boy, dn't t'ink he w'rked 'ard see' 's scrawny as he is, pro'ly read 'n' ot'er 'ancy shit"

read? i thought illiteracy was almost non-existent now? Am I somewhere in a 3rd world country?

i look around and see the greed in thier eyes, the hopelessness in the slaves and the dead goblin corpes on the ground....

(Gaurd F) "'ow a'out we g't on wit' it, feet 'ill 'urt f'om k'cking dem on's 'n da back dere dat ar' too slow i 'anna nap a'ready" a big fat one said off to the side on a wagon

i'm not going to delude myself anymore i'm not on earth, not with those goblin things that were so obviously alive not too long ago, no prank CGI or special effect can replicate the smell of blood and sweat of those ghastly things along with such an elaborate set up just to kill me? make me cry? spill my secrets? no nothing like that.

(Leader)"well what about we just interigate him later we are wastin day light and we still need to get our last batch up to par before we sell them"

everything i've seen so far is real and that includes everything that has happened to me so far.

so i do the only thing i can think of

I try to look at my status

and like magic that blue pop-up appears

Status Name   Level 1 Race Human Class ????? Health 90/100 Mana 50/100 Strength 10 Dexterity 10 Vitality 10 Agility 10 Wisdom 10 Intelligence 10

Woahhh

WAIT A MINUTE

Why is my name blank? is it cause i haven't been named yet?what happens if someone else names me before i get to!?!?!?

Hold on, this could be an opportunity i never liked my name anyway, i can change it to any artist i like!!! I'd freak out if  they called me Freddy Mercury.... but since there is magic in this world what if i end up gay??

not that i have a problem with that but i love tits way too much to do that...

Micheal jackson? nahhh what if i end up having to moonwalk everywhere and go crazy....

(Leader) "who wants duty on the new one, we can't just leave him unguarded on the off chance he escapes and is a spy, last thing we want is to be chased by the army, we lost almost all of the slaves last time" 

this is harder than i thought, how does anyone come up with a name for themselves

Kurt Cobain!!!

wait suicide..... god damn it !!!! can't i have someone normal

wait a minute, Dave Grohl hasn't done anything too crazy and outragous and i love the foo fighters fuck yeah!!!!

(Guard B) " 'ell i d'n't 'ant to be 'atchin' som' fancy boy"

"MY NAME IS DAVE GROHL" i say but nothing happened 

oh no what happens now ???

(Leader) "so your name is Dave Grohl, where you from? i haven't ever seen clothes like yours before"

*ting*

Name updated

SWEET!!!!

Status i say in my mind

Status Name Dave Grohl Level 1 Race Human Class ????? Health 90/100 Mana 50/100 Strength 10 Dexterity 10 Vitality 10 Agility 10 Wisdom 10 Intelligence 10

YESSSSSS

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

(Leader)"whats wrong with him"

(Archer 4) "might have eaten a laughing shroom out of desperation, seen them laugh themselves to death"

I must of had a weird look on my face cause they were all making comments like that, ahhh i must of been laughing out loud but really how can i take it seriously?

I JUST NAMED MYSELF AFTER SOMEONE FAMOUS 

its so cool 

hahhahaha

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

(Leader)"knock him out, cant have him kill himself just from laughing we still need information from him"

after the leader said I felt some pain 

-2 HP 

(Blow to the back of the head)

Rendered unconscious for (13) hours