š¼-Luqman
Frankieās lips barely reached the microphone. I could see his upper body bouncing every time he pointed at his slides with an open palm. I was probably the only one around his age watching all the other reflection presentations.
āSo, as you can see, it seems that magical energy does have a direct correlation with age. The levels radiating from Semangat Junior College, First Toa Payoh Secondary etcetera where much higher compared to those displayed at the Moral Centre or Tai-chi sessions that I observed,ā he said as he guided the audience through his graphs.
āYes! You have a question?ā he asked somebody amongst the audience.
The room manager ran to the back row and handed the inquirer a microphone. He patted the net-like top and asked away.
āDo you think the illegal usage of a Warping Barrier might have affected the results and data that you collected though? Recently, our departmentās been detecting high levels of residual energy from these spots that you have mentioned.ā
And that was why I was here today. After all the outgoing internsā presentations were over, Frankie and I adjourned for the buffet table and decided to head to the terrace area for our little discussion.
āWeāve got the identity of the man who used the Warping Barrier that day,ā he said.
I blew a long-drawn breath. He gestured for me to come closer towards him as he scanned the area for any potential eavesdroppers.
āItās Ćclairās boss.ā
āShe has a boss? What? I didnāt know they have part-time jobs related to magic sia!ā I said, half-wondering if I could offer my services to NParks for real.
Frankie nodded his head. Okay, I had to find the mage working in NParks and ask them if they could offer me any work like reviving dead plants or forcing the trumpet blossoms to bloom.
āYu-chi, Kenny, and Kumar? They were attacked by him yesterday when they went to Ćclairās house to deliver her homework. Best of all? They managed to get Ćclair to talk!ā he said with a grin.
Then, his face just fell. He turned to face the endless stretch of high-rise buildings before us and asked me if I was ready. Ready for what?
āThey told Ćclair to file a police report. But the thing is, I donāt know whether the non-magical side is more salient than you knowā¦the magical side. He was so horrible towards her that I ended up feeling bad,ā he said.
So, that was why he asked if I was ready. As a key witness in this case, there was no way I was going to be able to avoid bumping into my father. I scooped up some of the bee hoon, enjoying this rare opportunity for a decadent buffet. But the thought of meeting him made even the piping hot sweet-and-sour fish turn cold in my mouth.
āHave you told your supervisor?ā I asked, hoping that she would continue pursuing this case on our behalf.
āOnly about the Warping Barrier. I didnāt want you guys to get implicated. And thatās the problem. If we report that guy to the regular police, somehow, all of you will still get dragged into it and my department will find out about the unidentified magical entities. You guys have enough on your minds already,ā he said.
What did he do to her that warranted them to ask her to make a regular police report? Even I did not dare to question Frankie. In that moment though, everything started to make sense. Why she was dead-set on killing Kenny and Nora that day. Why she almost tried to end Mei and I for āstealing her killā.
āThereās also this concern that the Paranormal Department would be overtaxed. Remember those glass monsters that you mentioned to me the other day? The one that attacked you? Theyād been on the loose again, and nobody knows why.ā
I gulped the honeydew down as I tried to absorb all of this information. Yet, something was tingling within me, telling me that the resurgence of those monsters had something to do with Ćclairās ābossā.
āYou really sure theyāll continue with this case after you start poly next week? It seems like thereās lots of behind-the-scenes that we donāt know about,ā I said.
āI trust Morgan. She even protected me from our director when he asked me to help him with some dead project.ā
āOh. Of course, I trust Morgan. Itās just the HR and disciplinary board that Iām worried about. What if they donāt take action?ā I asked back.
Frankie gave a huge puff and shrugged his shoulders. Only then did I realise that his teriyaki chicken set was untouched all this while.
āYou have a point. Especially since I found out that Ćclairās boss was the previous director of my department,ā he said.
The two of us fell silent. This was bad. Really bad.
šÆ-Samuel
Mei and I shuffled out of the classroom, lest Miss Cheng angrily demands to see either of us over some small matter. All this while though, she had a playful grin on her face. I folded my arms and asked her what she was so happy about.
āI actually really enjoyed that class! Like, no idea why. I just did. Like I really felt like for the first time in forever, everyone was enthusiastic and really thought through their arguments,ā she said.
I gave slow blinks. Miss Cheng was still packing up her teaching materials. Was Mei the teacher or Miss Cheng? That didnāt matter. It was the first time in ages I had seen somebody leave class with smile like that. And on a lesson about the Cuban Missile Crisis at that!
āSo, when are your mugger friends going to chope you?ā I asked as we headed to the library.
āUsually after their bio lectures end,ā said Mei.
Ah, I started feeling bad for Nora since she often had to miss out on these sessions to slog with me in the council room. Well, bad timing to think about Nora. Right in front of the staircase landing, the two of us bumped into Ćclair and Kumar. At least she was back in school.
Mei rolled her eyes as Ćclair shirked back, wanting to disappear behind Kumarās tall frame. How long had it been since we hadnāt talked to each other? There were no āhey assholeās or āwhatās up broās being yelled between us. It was too empty.
āIāllā¦Iāll be at the Computer Room,ā said Mei as she just made her way downstairs.
Even Ćclair whispered to excuse herself. I guess she was going to retreat to the art room. It was just Kumar and I again.
I should be comfortable enough to yell all the profanities I want. To spill anything that I wanted to say in his face. Nope. Nothing ā until we headed back to the Eco Garden.
Nothing like a bro-to-bro conversation at the first place we officially reconvened in here at SJC! Hell, we were even sitting on the same damned log bench.
āSoā¦uh, howās life?ā he asked.
I looked up at the grey sky. Yeah. That was more or less my mood. It shouldnāt be that way when I was with him.
āGood. A little stressed from council stuff and homework piling up, but other than that, okay lor,ā I said.
My eyes were starting to tint towards green. Alb and Nori are lucky they donāt have a woman standing between them. That or weāre just heng ah that Nora is just that unproblematic as a bro.
āHeyā¦Iām sorry for not wanting to talk to you the past few months. But I still feel that you should have given Ćclair a chance. We got her to speak,ā he said.
Of course, it had to be Ćclair. I groaned, but waved my hand so that he could carry on.
āAll this while, I mean, before the attack, sheād been working under this really unsavoury guy,ā he said.
That alone was enough to make me sit up straight for once, even though there was no back support on this bench. Unsavoury guy? I stared straight into the horticulture corner and tried piecing it all together. Alb said he felt there was someone in the barrier and infirmary with us the other day.
Kumar kept rattling on, but all the hairs on my ripped forearms shot straight up, like someone jolted electricity through me. And it was definitely not Ćclair. Was that why deep down that day, I wanted to be harsh towards her but also not outright punish her?
āHeās so fucked up. He fucking molested her, threatened to sedate her if she reported what she saw, experimented on her. And what? All because she isnāt a traditional mage. Fucking crazy, right?ā said Kumar.
Then, he began hugging his own chest tight, as though his own trauma was being inflicted on him with every word that he said. I put my hands on his shoulders, asking him if he was alright. My hands.
Oh, fuck it. I am a monster after all. I tore her skin and sleeves. I mishandled her, saw her as a monster when I was the one who refused to believe that she was just as hurt as Nora was. For not noticing the signs.
āDid you make a police report? Do her parents know about this?ā I asked, turning to look him straight in the eye.
He nodded his head to the first part but whispered a disappointing ānoā to the second. I pressed my fingers over my forehead, wondering why I had already failed in my duties as Vice-President even before induction. And well? Would she even dare approach me after I made her bleed?
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āHow did you get her to speak?ā I asked.
āDae-hyun. Dance buddy of ours. He was outright brutal towards her. But he did what was necessary.ā
Dae-hyun? As in the beanie boy who always shared his fried chicken with me during detention? Man, I had to treat him to nasi lemak one day. I did remember how horrified he looked when his friend told him that Ćclair might be taken out of the Pro Squad.
No, forget Dae-hyun. I stood right up and hugged Kumar tight, asking if he could forgive me for being not just a lousy friend, but a lousy human being.
āIām a fucking councillor who refused to show empathy at a time when she needed it most. Most of all, I was a fucking lousy friend towards you, avoiding you just because you told me the truth. Fuck lah. If you donāt want to forgive me, itās okay. I understand,ā I said.
I let go of him but his kind, round eyes assured me that he understood where I was coming from.
āYo, bro. You still tried to show mercy to her, even though she nearly hurt your running mate. I always knew your soft heart was still there,ā he said as he poked that area.
I groaned, hating that he still called me a āsoftieā till now. But now, there was one thing that I had to do to make things right for a fellow student.
āI still cannot absolve her of her violent actions, but seeing that you guys managed to make her talk, Iāll do what I can to support her through this case. I know the counsellorās fully-booked, but I can try to appeal for her case to take priority since it did affect her mental health for a few weeks,ā I said. āNo promises though.ā
āTotally understand, bro. But actuallyā¦I wanted to talk to you, not about Ćclair, but because I miss you,ā said Kumar.
I looked at him, my narrow eyes turning wide. He nodded his head. He pulled me back down so that I sat beside him. For the rest of the afternoon, I would make him feel salty for all the things heās missing out from not taking KI, and he would tell me about all the drama in dance. Just like the good days.
š-Mei Xing
āYeah, sure. What happened to her was horrible, but Kenny, it doesnāt justify her actions,ā I said as I stormed out of the meeting room that we usually choped.
āNo, Mei! Listen to me!ā he begged.
āListen? I wish I could. But every time I see her damned face, I remember how she almost killed Luqman and I! How she was more than ready to electrocute you! Why should I forgive her when I saw her making the same mistake twice?ā I argued back.
Why couldnāt my tiny feet move any faster? With huge strides, I stormed out of the library altogether, not even bothering to get my bag out of the pigeonhole lest it bought Kenny time to chase me down and talk me into giving her another chance. Better stay far away from the roof too.
As I headed down the stairs though, I bumped into Yu-chi, who was already wearing the spare SJC T-shirt that Nori gave him.
āBee! Chiak pa buay?ā he asked.
āChiak pa. Pai seh, I just want to go somewhere far away from here,ā I said as I planted my foot on the staircase landing.
āWhatās wrong?ā he called out from above, his gentle voice echoing through the stairwell.
I turned around, craning my neck and adjusting my spectacles so that I could look at him. His round eyes were inviting. Gentle and concerned even. He trotted down the steps and asked me if I was okay.
I just shook my head, hand on my hip with the other in my skirtās pocket. He asked me if something happened.
āMm shi. Iām just really conflicted. I need to go somewhere far away to think,ā I said.
āI see. You know, when Iām lost, I turn to Mazu or Guanyin and ask them for help sometimes,ā he replied.
āMazu? Weāre not on speaking terms. Been that way for a while already.ā
And the next thing I knew, Yu-chi asked me to grab my backpack, told Kenny that he was taking me somewhere, and we found ourselves on the Northeast Line headed south towards Chinatown. In our half-uniforms. So much for the planned study session.
āAiyah. Donāt neglect yourself too!ā Yu-chi told me as we approached the entrance to Thian Hock Keng Temple.
Walking past the mural depicting the seafaring journeys of the Chinese migrants from Fujian to Singapore, it only amplified the surging meteor shower in my head. Those scenes that they showed were reflections of the realities of the 19th to 20th century. But it was a reality that neither side of my family could relate to.
Stepping into the ornate and colourful halls of the temple after months of not paying respects to my familyās guardian deity was a paradox. The strong aroma of sandalwood stung my nostrils. The bright carvings on the pillars along with images of heavenly deities attacked me from every corner. Yet, I glided in feeling welcomed.
Yu-chi and I dropped a $1 coin into the donations box and picked up or bundles of incense. We didnāt mind the peach-pink stains on our fingers as we lit the incense over the candles. It was something that we were too used to.
āI canāt believe Iām skipping a study session to pray to Mazu,ā I lamented.
āItās okay. I mean, you canāt go in studying when your mind is cluttered with thoughts to begin with, right?ā he said.
I shrugged my shoulders and rested my knees against the yellow kneeling cushion. The smoke from my set of incense split Mazuās face into two perfect halves. Her demon assistants flanked her on each side. The wind turned her headpiece into an accidental windchime as the dangling beads knocked and collided into each other, creating a calming, twinkling ripple across the temple. Her eyes were painted, staring straight towards the exit where the sea once stood.
What should I say to her? Ask her why I was sent here? Why I had to go through years of bullying and betrayal? Ask her whether I should forgive Ćclair? I turned to face Yu-chi, and there he was.
His eyes were lightly closed as he brought his bundle back and forth. His voice was so soft, I couldnāt make out what he was praying for. At least he had an idea of what he wanted to ask. Me? Too many questions were swimming in my head.
Whenever we stood before Mazu at the Cheng Hoon Teng Temple back in Melaka, Mama would always wish for Min and I to have good health and to be guided by gentle waves. That Bapa would be safe during his offshore duties. That Mazu would watch over Mak. But what did I want answered?
I shut my eyes and let the sandalwood fill my nostrils. Ah-ma, I seek your guidance. Iām sorry I havenāt seen you in a while. But I know youāre compassionate and kind. I need courage. I need the courage to forgive. To forgive the people who hurt me in the past.
Like Yu-chi, I brought the incense back and forth before giving the deepest vow that I could. Strange as it was, muscle memory ensured that I had never forgotten these key steps to prayer.
We stood up and planted our incense into the receptacle in the courtyard. I looked up, admiring the way the smoke carrying our prayers climbed towards the heavens. Only except, the heavens were framed by skyscrapers. Back in Melaka, in another temple that we frequented, the smoke had nowhere to go but to be trapped on the dusty ceiling.
āItās kind of funny. Before moving here, I wasnāt very religious. I didnāt visit Mazu that often. After coming here though, praying to her became one of the ways I help myself to feel like Iāve returned home. I know. Itās a silly reason to visit her often, but itās what makes me feel at home,ā Yu-chi confessed, his eyes too focused on the sky.
āI understand what you mean. When I prayed just now, it felt as if I was back in Melaka with my grandma again,ā I said. āI really want to go home.ā
My shoulders slumped at the realisation that I was so close, yet so far away from the people who loved me most beyond my nuclear family here. That the one place where I felt protected the most was so attainable, yet so far away ā a three hoursā drive away to be precise.
āSo, how are you feeling?ā asked Yu-chi as he looked at me again.
āA little bit more clear-headed. I still feel like my questions havenāt been answered yet though,ā I said.
Still, my heart wasnāt racing as much like in school. It was like a wave of calm and nostalgia swept those anxieties away. Yet, I was still yearning for more.
āWhat got you so upset just now by the way?ā he asked.
Was it best to be bitter before Mazu and her all-seeing demon guards? To blurt hateful words before Guanyin? To deny somebody justice before Guan Gong?
āKenny asked me to try to understand Ćclair. To help her recover. He told me everything and though I feel sorry for her, I still cannot find it in me to forgive her,ā I said.
Yu-chi walked away from the receptacle and stepped back into the shade. Both hands were in his pockets. He walked back and forth between the carved pillars, as though he was trying to find something to say to me.
I bolted back into the sheltered space, hoping that he wasnāt going to give me a long lecture on the power of forgiveness the way Kenny did. Instead, he looked at me and shrugged his broad shoulders.
āForgiveness takes time. But that you tried to see where she was coming from is already a good step,ā he said with a smile.
š¼-Albert
āWei-hsien. Wei-hsien! Get up. We need to get out of here,ā a deep voice, even heavier than mine, says.
Wei-hsien? Who is he? The world around me is still dark, but I am most certain that my eyes are open. Then, I hear the switch flicking.
What on earth was I doing in a damp and stinky basement? Since when did Singapore have such creepy cellars to begin with? I look down on the floor and find that my feet areā¦translucent.
I scream, wondering if I had entered some sort of afterlife. No way. I am here, yet my physical body has ceased to exist in this space. I am still clad in my theatre blacks, like I had never left the liminal space.
āThe police are after me. That good for nothing called the police on me. Not Divyane. The police. If they find out that you all are here, the project will come to a stop forever,ā says the man.
I cannot feel my physical body. I am just floating in this space, but what he says is enough to make the hairs on my shamefully hairy legs stand. Then, I turn to his direction.
Wei-hsien, or at least, I presumed it was him, stands up. He is just skin and bones, his hair having reached his shoulders. How long has he been stuck here? All this while, he has been on a computer, the data still incomprehensible to me. The other lights are on.
My jaw is just hanging, making my facial muscles ache. But I am certain that my guts wanted to lunge out of my body at that point. There are cylinders filled with people, all in a deep slumber, floating in some kind of liquid.
āThen, free us. If you free us now, the police will only charge you for the crime that you were accused of doing. They cannot charge you for kidnapping us and making us your lab experiments. I promise, I wonāt say a thing,ā says Wei-hsien.
The other man has brandished a syringe in his right hand. Wei-hsien lets out a peal of laughter.
āPlease, lah. I may be skin and bones, but Iām still willing to fight you. I was part of a gang back in Hualien, you know?ā he brags.
Okay. That is admittedly pretty badass. Yeah, you know what? If I had a bag of popcorn, Iād be watching this fight and rooting for Wei-hsien.
The man lunges at him. With his clenched fists at the ready, Wei-hsien blows a punch unlike any other on the manās cheek. Wait a minute. His right cheek is already badly scaredā¦like somebody had punched him in the same spot just a few days ago. He places his hands on it and stares at the dripping blood.
He drops the syringe and looks at Wei-hsien with wide eyes. The pupils were trembling while his chest rose slowly. He then points at him with his index finger, muttering some things in Mandarin.
āYoā¦so the kid that punched me on Fridayā¦no. No wonder why he exudes insane levels of magical energy like you. Thatāsā¦your kid. He used the exact same move on me,ā says the man.
Wei-hsien drops to his knees. I gasp, wanting to reach out to him and prop him up. Wait, can I go through walls in this form? I take my first step ā sort of. Indeed, I phase right through the iron bars. I try to lift Wei-hsien up by his armpits, but my hands just go straight through his body.
āMy kid? Which one? Which one of my two sons?ā he begs.
Instead, the man plunges the syringe right into Wei-hsienās stomach. I cry out a loud ānoā as he collapses towards the ground altogether. Then, I stare at the data on the computer.
Voice recordings. A personās profile on the upper-right hand corner of the screen. The levels of magical energy are indeed extraordinary. My basic physics knowledge allowed me to guess that it might be enough to power the entire island for a few years. Then, I glance at the name.
Minori Amami. B.O.D 7/7/1994.
The white walls of the liminal space made the light bounce everywhere, blinding me as I woke back up into reality. My eyes stung.
I shot straight up. I could feel the hard cement floor beneath my palms. I was still in my blacks. My chest was still heaving, and my stomach still felt like it wanted to purge itself out of my body.
I wasnāt dreaming. I was positive about it. I was in the middle of practice for my monologue and then, boom, I collapsed. And now, I had awoken again. The hairs on my skin were still erect.
I was convinced that everything was real. That there had been a case of human trafficking in Singapore. That a man had separated someone from a fatherās loved ones. That a man was after my best friend. And this man was the one who had snuck into the infirmary. I knew it.
But would anyone believe me if I were to tell them about what I just saw?