Part Eighteen

Life became routine after that; we did our jobs and lived our life together happily. I’d make occasional visits to see Vasiira and even became friends with Malagyln, who was happy I didn’t outright kill him and grateful that I carried him to the physician so he wouldn’t bleed out on the cold stone.

I’d visit Mother with a contingent of soldiers every once in a while, to ensure nobody got any bright ideas, and I had even earned quite the reputation around Felynafay. My life was good, and I was happy; it couldn’t get any better.

Years passed, and one evening, when I was twenty-five, Zeera and I found ourselves sitting at the inn with the rest of Shadow Nine. Vielyn and Durdrin were there as well, and we were all drinking and having a good time, except for Zeera.

She looked nervous and refused to drink anything but water. She sat on my lap, as she always did, and so I didn’t notice right away. When I did, I raised my hand to hush those around me.

“Zeera, what’s the matter?” I asked.

She shook her head, but I could tell something was wrong. With my hand resting on the table, I summoned Deathsbite to my grip. “Did someone hurt you?” I asked. Her eyes went wide, and she shook her head vigorously. “Then tell me what is wrong,” I said.

She turned to face me directly. “I’m pregnant,” she said. The blade hit the table with a clang as I moved my hand to her stomach. “The physician told me this morning,” she explained. I looked at her in awe.

The table erupted in cheers, and I looked around proudly. “The first of many… I hope,” I said quietly as I squeezed her tight.

She smiled at me, and I could sense a feeling of relief about her. We had been together for a decade now, and she still worried that one day, for some reason, I wouldn’t want her. I had a feeling it was because a certain dark elf used to tell her how worthless she was and how no one would want her but him. None of that was true about her, though. Durdrin valued her greatly, enough to entrust her with the entirety of the Barra D’aron treasury. She was my woman, and she was worth more to me than anybody else or any of the treasures I had earned. Everyone at the table valued her as a friend, and she knew all of this.

Deep down, she knew I cared more for her than anything else; she knew I’d never just get rid of her, but that part of her brain that let her cope with being abused would sometimes talk to her and trick her into thinking otherwise. Chey had done lasting damage to her, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t “fix” it. Since I couldn’t fix it, I did my best to protect her from it.

The pregnancy turned out to be quite the ordeal for Zeera. She was sick all the time and appeared to be getting weaker and weaker as time went by. The physicians assured us that she’d return to normal after the child was born, though, so I looked forward to that, as did she. It hurt me to see Zeera sick and in pain; it hurt me to know that I was partly responsible for it.

The day finally came when my child was to be born. We had moved from the compound to House De’Endar so she could be under the supervision of Mother’s physician; he was one of the best in all of Felynafay. House De’Endar was also more comfortable for Zeera. We had servants to look after her every need, and the accommodations were more comfortable than our room at the inn.

I was sitting in the dining hall with Mother, Vielyn, and my sisters when a servant ran into the room. “It’s time!” she shouted before turning and heading back the way she came.

I looked around the table with a smile. “Go!” Mother said, and I jumped to my feet and sprinted towards the door. Vielyn and my sisters were hot on my heels as I ran through the halls of House De’Endar towards the physician’s room.

Durdrin, Caelnel, Rylzt, and Brudaer were standing outside the door. Durdrin, soon to be grandpa, was standing proudly with my three best friends, and as I went to move past them into the room to be with Zeera, they stopped me. “The men wait out here,” Jhule, the oldest of my sisters, said as she shoved past Durdrin and opened the door for herself and the rest of my sisters. The door closed behind them, leaving us men outside.

I paced back and forth in front of the door for what felt like hours, listening to Vielyn and Durdrin chat back and forth. Mother showed up a short while later, summoned by the physician. I was new to this, but the look on Durdrin and Vielyn’s faces when Mother arrived told me that her arrival was unexpected. That should have been my first red flag that something was wrong.

“Son, you need to relax,” Durdrin said softly. His tone had changed. He had someone in the room who was telling him what was going on, and something was very wrong.

Suddenly, the door opened. It was the physician. “Masdrin…” he said solemnly.

A feeling of dread washed over me. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“You need to come fast… the baby’s fine, but…” his voice trailed off. My eyes went wide, and I shoved past everyone until I was through the door. In the room, I could see a servant holding my newborn son and Zeera, laid back in the bed, barely able to lift her head.

I rushed to her side, then knelt down beside her and kissed her forehead. She was cool and clammy. She looked weak and sickly.

“Masdrin,” she gasped so low I could barely hear her.

“I’m here,” I said softly.

She forced a smile, and I watched the life leave her eyes in that moment. “Zeera?” I said weakly. I began to breathe heavily; I was hyperventilating as I realized what had just happened. “Zeera!” I cried again as I drew Deathsbite.

“Get back!” I heard Vielyn shout, not wanting anyone near me to get hurt.

I took Zeera’s hand in mine and wrapped it around the grip of the blade. It had saved my life many times before. I held her hand tight around the grip and brought the blade to my palm and made a cut. “Zeera!” I cried again as I looked down at the blade. The jewels didn’t glow, the enchantment didn’t activate, and I could not activate it. I began to shake, and my kukri hit the ground. She was dead, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

At that moment, everything began to swirl around me. I couldn’t breathe. My head snapped to face the servant who was holding my son, and I smiled wickedly. “Come to Daddy… baby…” I said in the most sinister tone anyone in that room had ever heard from me.

“Vielyn! Grab him!” Jhule ordered. She could see the murderous intent in my eyes and knew what I was thinking. I was going to say something I’d regret, but my brother and Rylzt grabbed me and held me back while Durdrin took the child from the servant and disappeared with him. “Come, brother, let’s get you out of here,” Vielyn said quietly as he restrained me.

He was holding me in a big bear hug, and even now he was still much stronger than I was. I wanted to strike him, to force him to release me like I did with Malagyln all those years ago. I couldn’t do that to my brother, though. “I’m sorry, Masdrin,” he said.

“Zeera…” I cried again. Tears ran down my cheeks, and my brain was firing on all cylinders trying to figure out how to fix this. I couldn’t fix it; I couldn’t bring my Zeera back to me.

Vielyn dragged me out of the room and through the halls, with me struggling the entire way. Vielyn was wise; he didn’t bring me to my own room, the room where I had spent many nights with Zeera. All of Nine was right behind us as we entered Vielyn’s bedchambers. “I know it’s hard, brother. I know it hurts, but you need to calm down before you do something irrational,” Vielyn said softly.

I looked at him, my thoughts still swirling, and I couldn’t respond. I just kept seeing the last three seconds of Zeera’s life over and over again. I kept seeing the life leave her eyes. “You need to be strong for your son,” I heard him say.

“Don’t bring that child in front of me. I’ll kill him when I find him,” I growled angrily. Vielyn released his grip on me, and I began to pace back and forth. Nine was blocking the door, preventing me from chasing Durdrin and my child down, and no doubt Durdrin had summoned One to back him up and help protect the child.

They held me prisoner in that room for three days. For three days, I paced back and forth, teetering on the line between despair and rage. Vielyn, Caelnel, Rylzt, and Brudaer stayed with me the whole time. Naraun Dhalmaerth and Tazerin Alesek, the two newest members of Shadow Nine, even stood by the whole time; they were fast becoming part of the inner circle.

“Where is my son?” I asked quietly after I had finally calmed down and could think straight again.

“Durdrin took him away when you threatened to hurt him,” Vielyn replied.

“I’m sorry…” I said quietly as the tears started to flow again.

My head hung low and my shoulders drooped as I sat there. “Tell me what he looks like,” I said into my communicator.

“He’s handsome, like his father, and has green eyes, like his mother. He’s healthy too, and he’ll be kept safe,” Durdrin replied quietly.

I nodded my head. “Thank you…” I said before walking over to Vielyn’s bed and laying down. “You can have my room and everything in it,” I said to my brother as I grabbed a pillow and squeezed it tight to my chest. I wasn’t angry anymore; now I was just sad.

Vielyn pulled up a chair and sat next to me. My brother always had my back and wouldn’t leave me now. When Mother showed up a few hours later and demanded everyone leave, Vielyn defied her for the first time that I had ever seen. “I’m not leaving him,” my brother said firmly. Mother knew she was in no position to argue; Vielyn was the one she called when people didn’t listen to her. Not even Jhule, the eldest and strongest of my sisters, would fight Vielyn.

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The room emptied fast. Mother walked over to me and Vielyn and sat on the edge of the bed. I didn’t bother to turn to face her; I just lay there in the fetal position, clutching the pillow. “Your father will find a home for the boy,” she said firmly. I nodded my head. At that moment, just a couple of days after losing the one person I liked more than life itself, I did not care. I did not care for the child that killed my Zeera. “Zeera will be missed. We’re preparing her funeral,” Mother said, her tone just a little softer this time. I shrugged my shoulders; again, I did not care. Mother stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Vielyn for the first time since it happened.

“I lost my second woman the same way,” Vielyn said quietly. “She was giving birth to my daughter. They both died,” he said solemnly. “I was a wreck for weeks. Mother thought I’d kill myself and left Viezere to watch over me,” my brother told me, trying to bring me some comfort or at least relay that he knew how I felt because he’d been there before himself.

I rolled over onto my other side, still holding the pillow tight. I faced Vielyn, who forced a weak smile at me. “I’m sorry for your loss,” I said quietly.

“I am sorry about Zeera and the baby,” he replied.

I lay there, staring blankly at the wall before sitting up slowly. “What happened to your first woman?” I asked.

“Jhule,” Vielyn replied.

I looked at him, confusion evident on my face. Vielyn lifted his shirt and pulled down his pants just a bit to expose a scar on his side that was normally hidden by his belt and the waistband of his pants.

“She tried to kill me. Our big sister cornered her in the hallway and returned the favor. Jhule beat her senseless, then pierced her heart with her House De’Endar blade,” Vielyn said proudly.

I forced a weak smile. Jhule was my favorite of my sisters, though I cared for all my sisters. They had all been kind to me, at least, as kind as you can expect from a Drow female. “Mighty Jhule, protector of those who protect House De’Endar,” I said quietly.

Vielyn chuckled and nodded his head. “I guess so,” he replied.

Vielyn sat with me in silence for hours until a knock came to the door. He stood up, walked over to the door, and pulled it open. “Can I speak with him?” Vasiira Fret’tar asked.

“It’s not a good idea. Not right now,” Vielyn responded.

“Let her in,” I said out loud. Vasiira wouldn’t take no as an answer from any male anyways; she was Matron Mother of the third house of Felynafay, and if she was here, then Mother knew she was here, and refusing to see her would be an insult.

The truth was, Vasiira and I had formed our own little bond, one I had kept secret from Zeera. It wasn’t a great bond like Zeera and I had, but we enjoyed each other’s company, and I no longer pretended to enjoy being with her; I genuinely enjoyed it.

Hearing my voice, she shoved past Vielyn and rushed to my side to sit down next to me. “I’m sorry for your loss. I know how much you cared for Zeera,” she said softly. I looked at her and tried to smile as I nodded my head. “Thank you,” I replied.

Vielyn left the room to give us privacy while we talked. “I came to tell you that you’ve held up your end of the bargain you made all those years ago. You’re no longer indebted to me or House Fret’tar,” she said softly, a hint of sadness in her voice. I didn’t respond. I didn’t know how to respond. She smiled at me before standing up and walking towards the door.

“Wait…” I called out to her. Vasiira stopped and turned around to face me. “Please… stay…” I said, not wanting to be left alone.

Vasiira turned to me and smiled warmly. “Of course,” she said as she walked over and sat next to me. She put her arm around me, and I rested my head on her shoulder.

“I have not gone this long without seeing her since the day I met her,” I said quietly. Vasiira rubbed my back.

“I know everything seems bad right now, but things will start to look up. The memories will never leave you, but the pain will,” she said quietly.

Vasiira sat with me for a little bit until Vielyn returned. “I need to head home, Masdrin. Come see me when you’re ready, okay, handsome?” she said as much as asked. I forced a slight smile and nodded my head as she stood up and walked past Vielyn. It would be a few months before I could bring myself to visit Vasiira.

“You should eat something,” Vielyn suggested as he stepped past Vasiira and sat down in the chair he had left near the bed. I sat there, feeling broken and defeated. Vielyn was right, though; I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in three days. I stood up and slowly ambled towards the door. I felt weak physically and mentally tired and, more than anything else, I wanted to hold my Zeera.

Vielyn followed me as I wandered slowly towards the kitchen. The dining hall always had a lot of people in it, and I didn’t feel like seeing anybody. I looked around the kitchen, expecting to find food, but instead I just found things that looked like they could be food, just not yet. I scratched my head, having never had to prepare my own food before.

“You don’t know what to do, do you?” Vielyn asked. He seemed amused by it.

“Of course I do!” I retorted. “I just don’t know what I want.” It was an obvious lie, but Vielyn went along with it.

He watched as I grabbed a chunk of bread and tore off a piece, setting it on a wooden plate before grabbing a wheel of cheese and cutting a few pieces with the knife that was sitting on top of it. I found some fresh fruit from the surface and dropped it on the plate with the other food. A few preserved meats hung from the ceiling, and I took one down. It was shaped like a log, about as wide as my wrist and as long as my forearm. I cut a few slices very thin and set them on the plate before hanging the meat back on the hook I had got it from. I picked up my plate and turned for the door.

“That all you’re having?” Vielyn asked.

“No,” I said as I stopped and turned my head to regard the wine rack. I grabbed a bottle of expensive wine and turned to Vielyn. “See?” I said before heading out the door and walking back to Vielyn’s room.

Vielyn fixed himself a plate similar to mine and joined me a couple minutes later. While he ate his food, I merely picked at mine, preferring the wine this night. I drank a fair amount of the wine before offering any to my brother, who held his hand up and shook his head. I shrugged and brought the bottle to my lips once again.

A week more would pass until the day of Zeera’s funeral came. I found myself sitting on my bed in House De’Endar. I was alone now, and my whole world seemed dark. Next to me sat Zeera’s dress, still stained with blood, and her necklace. The necklace she had gotten from Vasiira nearly eight years ago.

Looking down at the pile of clothes, I suddenly realized something was missing. Zeera’s House De’Endar dagger was not there, nor was the emerald I had given her. Zeera cherished those gifts more than anything else she owned and always carried both of them on her.

I slipped the necklace over my head and tucked it under my shirt as I rushed out of the room. I walked briskly towards the throne room, where Mother was sure to be found. The guards at the door pulled it open when I neared them, and I moved through with determination. I was on a mission to retrieve my property. Anything that belonged to Zeera now belonged to me, and I intended to keep it all.

I walked straight up to the throne, where Mother was sitting. She was flanked on either side by my sisters, and Vielyn was sitting casually on the stone a few steps down from the throne. As I approached, the scowl on my face told them something was wrong.

“Where are they?” I asked angrily.

“Where is who?” Mother asked, confusion evident on her face.

“Where is Zeera’s stuff?” I asked.

“On your bed,” she replied.

I reached behind me and drew Antzar’s House De’Endar dagger from the sheath that was tucked into the back of my pants, its presence being a subtle threat. “Where is the dagger and the emerald?” I asked again, very quietly. Vielyn stood up and took a step towards me. I thought he meant to stop me, but instead he stood next to me. Mother was surprised; this was twice now that her mighty protector had taken my side over hers.

“His woman died, and now someone in this house has stolen from him. I am the protector of House De’Endar, and that includes him as well,” Vielyn said, answering Mother’s confusion.

“I gave her House De’Endar dagger to Durdrin to send with your son, and I don’t know what emerald you’re talking about,” she said firmly as she gripped the armrests of her chair.

“She’s lying to you…” came a voice in my head. The necklace was speaking to me.

“Lies!” I barked angrily.

“How dare you accuse me of lying!” Mother retorted with equal anger.

The sinister smile reappeared, and I seemed to have calmed down. Vielyn had seen this before, many times. He knew I was on the verge of getting violent. “Do you know Mother lied?” he asked.

“What does it matter?” she responded.

I reached under my shirt and pulled out the magical necklace, the one that informed Zeera when anyone lied to her, the gift from Matron Vasiira for Zeera allowing me into Vasiira’s bed chambers. Mother’s eyes went wide. She recognized the amulet and knew she had just gotten caught in a lie.

“The dagger is with your son,” she said again. “I don’t know where the jewel is that you speak of, though,” she said calmly.

“She’s lying to you,” the necklace said again.

I growled low as I stepped forward one step. “If you lie to me again, I will cut your tongue out,” I said quietly, calmly. Mother’s eyes went wide. Vielyn stepped between Mother and me, placing a hand on my chest and holding me back.

“Mother, he wouldn’t be acting like this, he wouldn’t be willing to hurt you if he didn’t know something. Give him what belongs to him, or I’ll let him go,” Vielyn said.

Mother looked to Vielyn as she contemplated what to do. “Jhule…” she muttered, hoping my sister would intervene.

“Come near me, and I’ll open your throat, big sister,” I sneered. I was ready to fight everybody, including my brother, if need be. By this point, my reputation alone had carried me through most missions, and it wasn’t unwarranted. I was a force to be reckoned with, and they knew it. When I decided to react to something with violence, I usually went for extreme violence with few exceptions, especially if my opponent posed a serious threat, like Vielyn, for example.

“The physician has it…” Mother said quietly when she realized Jhule wouldn’t come to her rescue. I turned on my heels and walked briskly for the door.

I got to the physician’s office, and when I tried to open the door, it was locked. I stepped back and threw all my weight behind a kick, right next to the doorknob. The door splintered but didn’t open, so I kicked it again and then again. I kicked the door a fourth time, and it went flying in, and I stormed into the office.

The physician’s eyes went wide when he spotted me standing in the doorway, scowling. “She made me do it!” he cried loudly as I moved quickly across the room.

I could see the fear in his face as I crossed the room. “Who?” I said as I reached out and grabbed him by the collar. “And if you lie to me, I will cut your eyes out and feed them to you,” I threatened as I lifted Antzar’s dagger and brought it level with the man’s right eye.

“Your mother! She made me poison her!” he cried. I stared at him for a moment as I tried to comprehend what I was being told.

“Poison who?” I asked, dreading the answer I knew he was going to give.

“Zeera! She gave me a large emerald as payment!” he cried as he pointed to a drawer on his desk.

“Say it again!” I said loudly as I brought the tip of my blade closer to his eye.

“Your mother made me do it! She said she’d have me turned to a Drython if I didn’t,” he cried. A Drython was an abomination, a creature that was a Drow from the waist up and a snake from the waist down, their minds no stronger than an animal.

The necklace was silent. The physician was telling the truth. “Then you’ll be seeing her shortly,” I said as I thrust the blade forward through his eye and deep into his skull.