Stardate (I don't care that's what autofill is for)

You would think that being a Security Officer on a Federation Starship during peacetime is about as cozy as it gets. But not with this Captain, this crew and this mission. So far we've lost nine security personnel in ten away missions. And number ten was shore leave where he wound up dying but got better. Next mission I'm going and this shit is going to stop.

Stardate (I love autofill)

Away mission to planet Kotexia

Captain chose away team consisting of himself, that Vulcan First Officer, Ship's Doctor and Ship's Navigator plus one junior security enlisted. Captain objected to my replacing my subordinate redshirt on grounds I was essential to maintain ship security while away. Pointed out ship security was just fine last ten times while my subordinates dirt side kept dying. "A more competent and senior ground force officer is clearly needed to ensure survival of all away personnel." Captain argued that Ensign Chekhov (Navigator) was also trained as security / tactical officer. Pointed out I was cross-trained as ship's helmswoman, navigator, and even weapons officer but no one ever sees me on the bridge. That's not what I do for a living. All Ensign Chekhov's training has taught him is that there is more to unarmed combat than poorly aimed haymakers and faux karate chops and that tactics involve more than milling around in a circle like those MI pukes. Experience counts. Captain pointed out that after last ten away missions Chekhov had plenty of experience. Agreed but pointed out would have to register protest as to wisdom of having Colonel of Federation Marines oversee military funerals instead of military combat. Captain agreed. (Looking forward to my next rating period.)

Asked who was going to be on Bridge while we were all off ship. Captain said Sulu. (Oh well, at least he won't be running around deck five with a sword.) 

Captain suggested we immediately transport dirt side; I suggested security was going to take five minutes to get properly equipped. Ensign Chekhov and I will be wearing standard light body armor and phaser rifles with under barrel grenade launchers for conventional and antimatter grenades. Since helmets include free flow taclinks and sensor suite equivalent to a tricorder recommend them all around. Captain objected that would look intimidating to the locals. "Good! I would prefer any negotiations are from a position of strength." Captain and I stepped aside for a brisk discussion which concluded a few minutes later with me and Chekhov dressed for inclement weather. Rest would be wearing "t-shirts and flashlights".

We transported down into middle of local nomadic gathering. Recent death of warlord necessitated a clan gathering to chose his replacement. Excellent chance to talk up virtues of the Federation. They elected new clan leader, Timmy the Jinn. Though still a teenager had already acquired a reputation as a leader. Had the loveliest blue eyes, like ice on fire. Made him look like a total psychotic. He was.

Negotiations would have gone better if Captain had settled for bedding the slave girls instead of also seducing Timmy's sister. Captain was seized by locals and put under guard for 'trial'. Inquiring minds found that trial would consist of running gauntlet of warriors armed with batons. Success would prove innocence. Number of living innocents zero. Recommended evac by transporter. Captain insisted he could talk way out of 'trial'. Agreed he was persuasive bastard.

Next day at trial things did not go well. Engineering called at end of Captain's speech to inform power surge had fried transporter hardware and replacement / repair would take at least four hours. Told Scotty that just means he'd better have it up and running in an hour. Not that we have an hour as Captain (Special) K was about to get his 'trial'.

Implemented Plan B with Chekhov. Just set phaser rifles to wide beam and stun and dropped everyone up close while 'Captain' Sulu did a box with ships phasers on stun as well. We left 30K sleeping souls behind as we stole some riding beasts and tied our unconscious officers to their mounts. Sulu had launched a pair of shuttles to come pick us up and provide top cover as need be but they were still two hours away.

As we rode away they started coming around officers and Kotexians both. Spock recommended that we head to nearest mountain pass which was 30 minutes away so as to leave the nomad plains. Captain concurred. Pointed out we're already headed that way.

Sulu commed to inform us that Klingon battlecruiser and two bird of prey escorts had entered system and were claiming it for the Klingon Empire. (Did I forget to mention that the local asteroid belts were rich in dilithium crystals hence our negotiations with the locals.) Captain Sulu had ordered the shuttles recalled and was informing the Klingons that this was a neutral system and per the Treaty of Organia they were out of line. Commodore Ki'llj'oi replied that he would be happy to refute that argument as soon as he entered effective weapons' range. (As opposed to ineffective range I suppose).

Captain Sulu's tactics in the subsequent engagement were masterful. Duh, he took out a Battlecruiser and two escorts with a heavy cruiser. It helps to be both good and lucky. But that engagement took over half an hour and left the Enterprise seriously damaged though not crippled.

*****

Meanwhile dirt side we'd reached the pass just in time to kill our mounts from our inexperience. The neighboring polity had a wall / gate structure across the bottom of the pass. Strangest godling over the gate. Guy was wearing sunglasses and a skirt while sporting a gap toothed smile. Their lookouts spying the entire nomad clan charging hard, they weren't about to open the gate to a bunch of strangers. In fact their paranoia was running high so we had to retreat from the gate out of bow range or else start fighting with them as well. The Science Officer had spent most of our time in the pass playing with his tricorder and muttering 'fascinating'. I finally asked if he was going to take that secret to his grave or would he care to share? Spock said that his tricorder indicated an extensive cave structure under the near wall of the pass. My own armor readings confirmed it. I called "Fire in the Hole" and one antimatter grenade later we had a nice cave entrance. I then advanced to recon the entrance when the main inhabitant of that cave system came out to see who was knocking. It was as big as two elephants but faster and said hello by spitting napalm on me. I dropped and rolled while returning fire with my rifle and followed up with another grenade killing it. Unfortunately by the time the fuel on me was doused, I had taken first and second degree burns through my armor. "Spock, why didn't the sensors detect that life form?"

S:"Aren't you in pain, ma'am?"

MS:"I picked a bad week to give up smoking."

S:"But your armor is still smoking."

MS:"Just answer my question."

S:"The mineral structure is rich in dilithium and various metals."

MS:"Does that mean ship sensors will be incapable of achieving a lock on for transporter usage if we take cover inside?"

S:"Actually ship sensors will probably be unable to lock onto us if we are within a hundred meters of these rock formations."

MS:"Like we are now?"

S:"Affirmative."

Captain K:"Well I'm not going to just wait here to fight 30,000 primitives in hand to hand combat."

MS:"Don't worry, sir, they'll be using swords and knives in CQB so no hand to hand. But as nomad mounted archers their most likely tactic will be a variant of the caracole where they stand off and turn us into pincushions. Fortunately Chekhov and I are wearing body armor so we can avenge you."

Captain K:"We will escape and evade into the cave system at once."

MS:"Yessir."

We entered the cave system. Chekhov then Spock using their sensors to map what they could of the system and hopefully spot any other significant lifeforms before they spotted us. As rearguard I got to fire a few stun blasts at the arriving nomads. I fell back from the entrance and closed it with a grenade. Captain wanted to know how we were going to get out then. "Not that way." I replied.

The next hour was busy for the nomads as they dug like gophers trying to get into the caves. The neighbors on the wall just smirked at their predicament while being slightly worried it was all a ruse for a sneak attack on their wall.

For us the next hour was boring work as our sensors mapped out the caves looking for exits. We reestablished comms with Sulu after the battle was over and Scotty let us know when the transporters were operational again. Bones wanted me out of my armor to treat my burns. I said not yet, the fight isn't over and once off I won't be able to get it back on. So Bones set me up with some nice analgesics, still hurt though.

Found the fish pond my friend had been living off of. The biggest one we saw was a meter and a half long. It jumped out of the water and tried to eat my knee through the armor. The pressure was hurtful. I knocked it off my knee and onto the ground with my phaser rifle. I then set me phaser rifle to max heat and shot it as it flopped around snapping. The heat triggered some explosive sublimation of the fish. As they were wiping fish guts and blood off I said "Dinner is served. If you don't like my cooking, tough."

Our most likely point to egress the caves was a point outside the pass where they approached the surface. Some nomads were nearby but looking the wrong way at the pass.

The plan worked well to start with. Sulu fired ships phasers on stun. Sadly not everyone was fully affected due to the minerals concentrations and angle of fire. Then we blew a hole out of the mountain and attracted even more attention. Then the Captain, Spock and Bones came running out shooting anything in front of them. Chekhov and I followed, providing covering fire to the flanks. I was bringing up the rear with a bit of a limp. The transporter was only able to lock on and beam up one target at a time. Once the Captain reached minimum safe distance from the opening the transporter beamed him aboard, then Spock, then Bones, then Chekhov. All the time the nomads still conscious kept closing and falling, closing and falling. They almost got Chekhov but the last of my phaser rifle's charge dropped those riders.

Then it was just me limping toward minimum safe distance while firing conventional grenades all around me to keep them off me. Then I was fighting first one then two then three nomads while my comms was screaming in my ear that I was far enough from the rocks but they needed me to either stand still or keep clear of the locals to get a lock on. Two grenades to my front right and left and the locals around me were all dead or injured from shrapnel and concussion, but that left me with just a single grenade (antimatter). I wasn't feeling too hot either. Every blow against my armor would press against my skin causing pain and agony. Tragically I wasn't able to face about and engage the enemies charging up my backside in a timely fashion. So the first lance point glanced off my armor spinning me around to face them. The second lance knocked me down, and then their mounts trampled over me breaking bones despite the armor. As the last of them was charging over me, I heard the familiar whine of a transporter beam start up. Guess I'd been still long enough. At that point one of its blows struck my hand triggering the last grenade.

The last thing I remember was dying of the light just before the transporter retrieved my burning corpse.

*****

Bones claimed he wasn't a miracle worker but he was able to bring me back anyway. I had a very extensive list of traumas and injuries but while prognosis was for full recovery; it would require the services of the medical center at the nearest starbase … four.

Mostly I was delirious or unconscious for the trip back to Starbase Four. I understand that when the Captain came to visit the only thing I said was "Eleven".