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Contact Team 13, Volo Ingenium
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“Hey, what the fuck!” shouted Matt Cooper, formerly Sergeant Cooper of the Canadian Royal Mounted Police. He’d been watching the interior of their APC through the Gate as it drove through the middle of some kind of fucked-up hell storm, when that woman Haley had collapsed to the ground and the thing had cut out. He and the other 2 caught on this side raced over, but there was nothing they could do. “I didn’t even know these things could fail,” said his squad-mate, Nina Lafuentes. She heaved at it- and she could apply quite a bit of force, despite her tiny frame, he knew very well from their rugby matches- but the thing didn’t move an inch from where it hovered. “We got any kind of like, freaky magic tech support? Call ‘em and tell em we’re stuck up a mile-high fuckin tree and the door just turned off.”
They puzzled over it momentarily, but none of them really had a clue. Matt was about to send Nina back to base-camp by foot to rally some help while he and Charlie held position by the portal, when shit went FUBAR. At first it began as a distant wailing, like an air-raid alarm, but there were no visible emitters. It cut through the air from all directions at once, and increased in pitch and intensity. “The fuck is that?” Asked Charlie, one of the two American soldiers they’d been partnered with. “Sounds like a goddamn tornado siren from hell.” It kept getting louder, until they had all fallen to their knees and covered their ears, overwhelmed by the sound of it. It was like the world itself was shrieking, stressed along some fault line they couldn’t detect.
And then- it broke. There was no earthquake, no movement of the ground, but they were all thrown off their feet anyway as reality sheared and split. Matt had seen one of the giant winged lizards they called handmaidens summon one of the Efreets once, a week or so back, and the light felt the same as what had come off of that ritual, but if that was someone lighting a candle this was a nuclear bomb. He screamed into the rough bark of the gigantic branch they crouched on, trying to ride out the intensity of it- at long last the noise stopped, but even as it did so they were buffeted by a tremendous wind blast and for the first time since he’d climbed one of these ridiculous things he felt like he might fall off. He hung on for dear life and didn’t even try to grab at the equipment tables as they blew over and took most of the weaponry with them.
Finally it died, and they checked themselves over. “Everyone okay? Police your shit, did we lose anything?” Matt shouted, but the other two were fine. “Hey, did it get… darker…” Nina started to ask before trailing off, and Matt turned to see what she was looking at. The horizon of this bizarre tree-world was confusing to look at- it curved upwards so you could see hundreds of miles in any direction. The gate network had been placed right at the center of the Extra’s cities and colonies, their rough sphere of influence, so Matt and his crew had a pretty good ring-side seat for what was taking place. He found himself staring into the sky, where an entire city hung in the air.
It was like someone had cut the top off a mountain, turned it upside down, and built the entirety of Agrabah from the Aladdin movies on top of it. That was his first thought, looking at the slender towers and bulbous onion-dome shapes of its palaces and redoubts. But it was no cartoon city- it was huge, miles wide, large enough to house millions, and it was on fire. Every square meter of it- lava ran over the edges like waterfalls, flames licked the sides of the tall towers, crowned the palaces in huge circular waves. It didn’t look like a disaster- it looked like it was built that way. Around it orbited dozens of smaller rocks, practically asteroids- each easily big enough to house this entire tree and then some. It hung in the air above them, so large that he felt like gravity might shift, like he might be pulled up into the air towards it. The lava was falling from the rim towards… well, everywhere and he wasn’t entirely sure it was going to miss the tree, but what could he do? Against that? Running would make no difference, it would-
Nina was tapping his arm but he didn’t look until she punched him. “ WHAT” he shouted, turning to her again, and then immediately shut up.
The flying city wasn’t alone.
There were two more that he could see, hundreds of miles distant, each apparently positioned over what he vaguely recalled were important Hive cities containing many of the high-tech Extras, not just their refugee populations. “We have to get out of here,” he started to say, all thought of the portal and his friends on the other side forgotten. But then the air crackled again and the city spoke. The world’s loudest sound system roared to life and a voice thundered through the air, so heavy that the humans were forced to the ground for a second time.
It was deep, and male, and thoroughly, powerfully evil. If he’d heard it on TV he’d have thought the writers were going a little over the top with the cartoon villainy- as it was, he felt like whoever was speaking clearly had the flying-fortress chops to back it up. “VOLO INGENIUM,” the voice boomed, and Matt thought he remembered some Extras referring to the whole planet like that- must be a general address, then. “I AM LORD IVAH OF THE BRASS CITY. WE ARE THE ARCHITECTS OF YOUR WORLD. AND NOW WITH THE MOST COWARDLY FLIGHT OF YOUR GOD AND GREATEST DEFENDER… ITS MASTERS.”
“Who the fuck is he talking about?” shouted Charlie. Matt was just as stumped as he was. “I think he means that Haley chick, didn’t Roy say she was the one who like, magic’d all this up?” questioned Nina.
A thought occurred. “Wait, does that mean she’s gone ? Whatever happened with that portal- did she just bail on us?” Matt asked. Roy had seemed worried about the possibility, based on what the captain had said in private- but this was a fucking-over on a level he hadn’t thought possible. Either she’d dicked the whole world over… or she was holding all this back, and something just happened. Oh shit. “We’ve really got to get out of here,” he said, this time acting on it, hauling the other two to their feet. He thought better of immediate flight, pausing to go through the mess of their equipment for the most lethal weaponry they had. Haley had been pretty adamant about non-lethal force, but they weren’t idiots- there were some decently high powered rifles scattered about on the ground, and he equipped his team as best he could before they moved on. Meanwhile that ear-melting Shere Khan impersonator kept right on speaking. Matt only caught the tail end, though.
“WE DO NOT COME IN PEACE, VOLO INGENIUM. YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO ABANDON YOUR POSITIONS, LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS, AND FLEE OR SURRENDER. WE HAVE SPOKEN.” The voice cut off and they all breathed a sigh of relief.
“We can’t just run off!” shouted Nina, as it ended. “What if that door opens back up and rest of the unit comes through into… that?” Matt agreed, but he didn’t know what to do about it.
“Can we block the door or blow it up somehow? We can’t hold it, Nina- I don’t care if those cities haven’t got a single gun, their air conditioning is probably going to kill us in the next ten minutes.” Indeed the lavafalls were touching down around them now, and everywhere they landed was catching fire. The trees were Extra-built, they’d probably withstand it, but the people on them wouldn’t. From the high perch Matt could see movement down at the base of the trees, humans evacuating and Extras setting up inscrutable equipment. Well, not entirely inscrutable. “Holy shit, the E.T’s were packing,” breathed Charlie as he caught sight of the same thing. Around the rim of every tree, great gun emplacements were being uncovered. Huge things, artillery-pieces, but made with forked barrels and hollow centers, like science-fiction laser cannons. The air was beginning to darken with flyers as well, though they hadn’t fired a shot yet. Struck with inspiration, Matt grabbed a white towel and began waving it at several of the nearest until one banked away from the formation and hovered near-silently over to him.
They were eerie things, the “Dragonfly” air cars. Bulbous and proportioned like a helicopter that didn’t need to bother with a primary or tail rotor, they glided through the air on some force that he didn’t understand. He’d been creeped out by them in the past- nothing so big should be so quiet. But he was grateful for this one, in the moment. The infomorph drone that popped out of the side once it slid open was also carrying a weapon, a much smaller version of those same guns. “You folks need a lift out of here? I’m Shamutt,” it said, in perfect English. Along the walkway of the branch, lifeless drone robots began to come awake, no doubt animated by the same soldier that was giving instructions to the craft and talking to them now. Matt had worked with them several times and really envied their ability to be in a dozen places at once.
“We’ve got people on the other side of that portal,” Matt said hurriedly, gesturing at the empty hoop behind them. “It closed on us, we can’t let them stumble through later, can you like… blow it up, or something?” He felt stupid asking the Extras for help but honestly he was out of options, and this tree network was their show to begin with. Theirs, and that Haley woman’s, and she didn’t seem like she’d be coming back soon.
“The portal closed ? That shouldn’t- let me check, one moment” said the drone, seemingly more alarmed by that than the pending invasion. A second later an expression that Matt had learned from experience was basically a look of extreme shock seemed to pass over its face. “Sabotage! It’s been dispelled. Who would-” then it settled back down just as quickly. “Oh, you’re with her. Strange things do tend to happen when she’s involved. But it’ll all work out. Nobody’s going to get the better of The Dragon.” The drone was speaking with something uncannily like religious awe. “We were going to lock down all of the portals anyway, but we’ll be sure to keep this one safe in case she plans to reopen it. You can stay here and help or go back. We can’t seem to get in touch with the stadium right now, they cut out just before the Efreet jumped in.”
I’d call it rotten luck but this feels like suspiciously good timing on the part of the magic flying cities. Matt looked at the others, a quick visual survey. Nobody wavered. They wouldn’t leave their companions on the other side if they could possibly defend them. Though I can’t imagine that they’re doing anything half as dangerous as this. He looked at the drone soldiers, now amassing near the portal where several more of those gun emplacements and other equipment besides had rapidly deployed from the Dragonfly and was self-assembling. The most interesting piece was what looked like an armored, glossy shell that was swiftly growing around their portal. More air-cars were vectoring towards their location. Honestly, Matt had no idea if they stood a chance against the genies- but, he thought- if our threats in this new world are radiation storms and death fortresses, I don’t think I’ll mind having a few ET’s with laser guns by my side. And if worse comes to worse, I’ve got that envelope.
“We’ll be staying.”
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Harry And Hermione, Gryffindor Common Room
The Night Before Halloween
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Hermione was so tired of Harry and Ron snubbing her, just because she believed in the rules! She was a reasonable girl- she saw how far Harry was getting by ignoring them. But it wasn’t right, it was an unbearable injustice. He’d snuck out for a duel and been caught but here he was with a brand new broom, sitting in their common room like the cat that caught the canary! She glared at the two of them and Harry glared back. “I thought you were ignoring us?”
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“Yeah,” said Ron. “Don’t stop now, it’s doing us so much good.” Hermione was just about to march away with her nose in the air, but a flash of the feather on that broom caught her eye, and her meagre ability to keep her mouth shut finally snapped.
“ You,” she said to Ron, “are a little toady. At least he has the courage to break the rules, terrible as that is- what do you do, just follow along behind him? Do something and then maybe I’ll give a toss what you think about me. You’re no different from Crabbe and Goyle. ” Ron turned white as a sheet before fleeing the room. She felt bad, briefly, but- well, somebody had to say it. Boys, honestly.
Harry glared at her as she sat down. They were the only two in earshot, which was more or less how she wanted it. “Hermione that was unfair, even for you. I know you’re mad at us but Ron’s a proper bloke, he’s been a big help to me, and-”
She was still in full furor, her frizzy hair blasting out emphatically as she scolded him- “And nothing. You’re famous Harry, you need to understand how that warps people. You lived in the… the real world, you’ve seen tv!” He flinched for some reason- she ignored it and carried on, “People are going to want to be around you because you’re… you, because of your legend, even perfectly good people will end up riding your coat tails.”
Harry shook his head angrily. “He’s not like that! He was the only one here who didn’t care about some dumb stories from when I was a baby.” He eyed her, and the way her eyes kept glancing back to the feather at the end of his new broom. “But this isn’t really about Ron, is it?”
She grimaced. “Not just about Ron. Even… adults can be drawn in by fame. Harry I don’t know if anyone has told you but- if you’re being abused, you can talk to someone. This world is insane but they’ll still take that seriously-”
He leapt up from the couch. “I never said anything about abuse! I can take care of my own problems! What’s done is done and I’m never going back there!” He turned to storm away but paused when he saw how bewildered Hermione was becoming. Others turned, at the outburst, but nobody interrupted just yet.
“What are you talking about,” she hissed. “I meant Snape, and the feather. Harry is something happening to you at your home? ” How deep does this rabbit-hole go, she wondered? She wasn’t old or mature enough for this, this needed a teacher’s assistance immediately! If it was his adoptive parents- no wonder he doesn’t trust authority.
He laughed out loud, partially in relief, and collapsed back into an arm chair. “ Snape? We just… just talked, Hermione. He knew my mother. When he got me alone…” there was a wondering look in his eyes. “It was like he totally changed. He was so much gentler. He knew my parents, Hermione. He… told me stories, about her.”
She looked at him skeptically. “And that’s all? It doesn’t strike you as odd that he treats you like dirt in public, and talks to you like that in private?” She’d read all the literature on the subject and that sounded like textbook “Grooming” behavior to her. He lived in a dungeon, he fiddled with chemicals all day! How many more red flags for a child predator did you need!
Harry smiled shyly, and it struck her that she couldn’t really recall seeing that expression on his face even once. “No. I don’t understand it yet, but he’s not a threat. He’s… troubled, and mysterious. But I think I can help him. I just need to get him alone again.” That sounded like a perfectly terrible idea to Hermione but before she could open her mouth to say so, the common room door banged open and Cormac Mclaggen stormed through.
“Monkey-loving mugglefucker !” He shouted, throwing his books at a wall, prompting a shout from the Head Boy. “He did it again!” Several other wizards groaned but he stormed past them, muttering profanities the whole way. Hermione blushed crimson. She had been learning so many wizard swears in the last few weeks.
“What was that all about?” Asked Harry. Cormac was a year ahead of them, so they hadn’t had much contact, but even he knew that displays of temper like that were unusual, to say the least.
Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. “You hadn’t heard? That boy everyone thought was a squib, Sean Peakes from Hufflepuff? He got… really good, out of nowhere. Blew right through our first year classes in just a couple of weeks.” Hermione was extremely jealous of this. They wouldn’t let her advance a whole year and she had been the best in the class- they kept telling her she needed to let her magic take time to grow and expand, so why was his so strong? “He went from not being able to cast a thing, to throwing around spells like Dumbledore used to do when he was a first year.” That didn’t just happen, there had to be something foul afoot.
“Bet it had something to do with Draco, the little git,” said Harry. “He’s always mooning about after Peakes like he thinks the rest of us don’t notice. I swear I even overhead him getting something from Snape to put in his food.”
Hermione smacked her head. “And you didn’t say anything? Harry it’s one thing to try and tolerate your own abuse but you can’t just overhear that sort of thing without saying something!” She wasn’t at all incensed because it was clearly some kind of magic supercharging potion, no! This was about protecting the student body!
He shrugged. “What was I going to do? Dumbledore won’t let anything bad happen in Hogwarts, and I don’t think Snape would help, even for his favorite Draco.” There was a hint of jealousy in his voice there, she noted. “If it’s really bothering you I’ll try to warn Sean tomorrow.”
She nodded. “Good, at least I can help one student. And Harry… you’ll tell me if Snape does anything you’re not… ready for, won’t you? You don’t have to handle it alone.”
He nodded, still puzzled. “I can handle myself Hermione.” He got up to walk away, and she heard him mutter in a voice she thought she wasn’t meant to hear, “I can handle him, too.”
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Dog and Greg, At The Tower
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Greg rubbed his head blearily, and looked at the striped blue canine sitting lazily in front of him. “Anyone get the number o’ that lorry?” he ventured half-heartedly, trying to make a joke of the bone-deep ache in his skull. All he remembered was a mind-numbing half second of terror as that dragon woman had blazed after him at impossible speeds, and then- nothing. “ Blimey, she don’t pull no punches, eh?”
The dog looked skeptical. “ You ended up with the One Ring, somehow? They don’t make hobbits like they used to.” Around them the bustle of the stadium’s field hospital and general logistics operations continued. People had learned to ignore little things like talking animals, in the last month. At the mention of the ring, Greg’s heart skipped a beat and he clutched at his pockets- it was gone! He swung around wildly until the dog jerked its’ nose upwards, where a small and boxy robot was hovering silently. “It’s in there, and there it will stay, Greg the Hobbit, until we get it back to Middle Earth. You and I are going to have a fellowship.”
Greg glared angrily at him. “Now look ‘ere, you can’t go dictatin’ the disposition of that ring, it’s a bleedin’ family heirloom! So wha’ if it’s a little bit dangerous? Say what happened with...” he gestured helplessly “all that, anyway? I guess she didn’t want it after all?”
The Dog shook his head exasperatedly, reaching up to clamp his jaws around the hem of Greg’s pants and tug him to his feet. He was still fully clothed, thank goodness, but he wasn’t really ready to just hump it all the way back home to his house and the mysterious door to the Shire. “She wanted it and she got it, you fool, and then it very nearly destroyed her and everything she’s built here. Be thankful that she was still reasonable enough to let it go before it did. That ring is worse than radioactive and we’re all in danger until it goes back home.”
Greg began walking but continued his sulk. “We can’t just… give it back, don’t the people of the Shire matter to yas? You throw that ring back through the door, you’re giving it to Sauron, and then what’s gonna happen?”
The Dog gave a canine sort of shrug, leading him out of the open medical pavilion. “You tell me- it’s your story. Disposing of rings is part and parcel of living in that world as a hobbit, and it’s your problem, not mine. If you wanted everything to work out alright, you should have left well enough alone- the original outcome was about as good as you might get. But you didn’t. Some perversity took you to steal the damned thing and bring it here. Haley might have more sympathy for your plight, but I-” the dog grinned and it was nothing but teeth, “have no problem feeding you back to the wolves. Now, come.” He made quick loping strides toward the gigantic portal, the entrance to the gate network. The little drone robot followed along behind him obediently.
Greg was about to dig in his heels, to truly make a scene, when he noticed something strange. In the traffic around the gate, a party of people was shuffling through- their eyes were strange. Glowing blue, and they were unfurling- banners ? He couldn’t quite make out the design on them, the distance and angle weren’t right, but they seemed to fascinate everyone who saw them- people around them stood transfixed. He noticed as well that the party carrying the banners was made up of all sorts- it looked like some of the armed and armored teams he’d passed on his first trip through the gate network, as well as people in civilian clothes. “What’s all that?” he asked, peering unhelpfully at the things they were showing.
The Dog yelped in terror and whirled back to him. “ For god’s sake don’t look at it,” he hissed, before darting off in the exact opposite direction. Greg whined in protest but turned to follow, tethered to the drone carrying his ring like a mule on a lead. “They aren’t supposed to be here,” the Dog muttered, practically to itself. “I don’t know what they are but I can feel the… wrongness of this. The story is altering, how-”
“You’re not the only one with access to oracles,” said a man in a flowing grey robe, striding out of thin-air nearly in front of them. He spoke with a rough British accent and he had the most magnificent bushy black beard Greg had ever seen. Alan Moore would be envious, he thought. But this wasn’t Gandalf- there was something hard in his eyes, cruel, and he looked like he was here on business. The Dog snarled and raised its hackles but the man simply raised his hand, his eyes flashing as he did so, and a cage of glowing force sprang up around it. “None of your tricks, thank you very much. The ring, if you please Greg, of your own free will.” The little drone chirruped and cracked apart, dropping the ring between them at Greg’s feet.
The Dog turned to him. “ Don’t do it you fool. That’s Merli-” a muzzle clamped around his mouth. He paused briefly as if gathering himself for something, and parts of his body turned translucent before snapping back to solidity. He collapsed to the bottom of the cage. Greg turned, looked over his shoulder for other options. Distantly across the field, the people who’d been standing mesmerized by the banners were now walking with the blue-eyed newcomers. All of their eyes were blue, he realized. They were spreading out to block the exits, flashing those signs at anyone they could reach. A few people were running, but the vast majority had been hypnotized in seconds. He could only assume the elderly wizard in front of him was part of the same events, though his eyes were not glowing, at least.
The wizard was still talking like he’d read Greg’s mind. “No, we are spared their direct control for the time being. We are more useful with our minds intact. But it did quite effectively capture our narrators. Normally they’d be immune to such things as well, but there’s just something about this disease that doesn’t fit. It comes from the infomorphs and much about them seems to cross boundaries. Including their maladies. It found vectors of infection unique to each of our stories and once it had the people holding our leashes, well- there’s only so much we can do about that. You’re a narrator yourself, aren’t you Greg? We’re not really sure what would happen if we forced you to hand over the ring using the Concept. Better you do it of your own free will. Please hurry Greg, I’d dearly hate to have to kill your friend here. Such an interesting specimen.” The force cage around the Dog began to tighten- he, for his part, only glared at the ancient magician.
He could just take it if he wants it so badly, thought Greg. There wasn’t a courageous bone in his body but even he could feel this for the setup that it was. Still, what choice did he have? He reached down slowly, carefully, never taking his eye off of the man that he now assumed was Merlin. Picked up the ring. Stood back to his full five-foot height. The grey-cloaked stranger continued to hold out his hand, otherwise still and solid as an ancient oak. Greg looked at it, back to his face. Totally impassive, a mask betraying nothing. I hope this doesn’t go as badly as last time. In one smooth motion he slipped the ring on his finger, and vanished into the wildly-whipping shadows of the other realm.
Merlin blinked, and closed his hand. “Ah. Pity. It appears we’ve lost him. Whatever shall we do,” he mused to the Dog at his side. Without another word or gesture the cage simply burst into flames, and the Dog howled in pain.
Greg said his apologies under his breath as he ran. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I don’t know how to help you I came here to get her help everything’s gone wrong I’m sorry,” but it was the longest time before he drowned out the cries of the wounded animal he was leaving far behind.