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Chapter 267: Final Decisions

As I walked towards Old Mo’s bakery, a few thoughts ran through my head.

There were things I needed to settle. Things that I hadn’t thought about in the heat of the moment. And for that, I wanted some advice.

I walked into Old Mo’s shop, only to see him closing up for the day. He was cleaning up a few soup spills. I ran towards him, and gave him a brief hug.

“Miria? I’m surprised to see you again. You ran off pretty quickly when we talked earlier,” he said. “What happened?”

I grabbed a cleaning rag, and started helping him with the soup spill as I sighed.

“Can I talk with you for a while? I need some advice,” I said. “Serious advice, I mean. Some things happened, and… well, I want your opinion.”

“Sure. What do you need?”

“My mother… started taking fizz again. I found her stash of drugs earlier, and we had a big fight."

Old Mo sighed, before he bent over and gently ruffled my hair.

“Miria… I’m sorry to hear that. I won’t lie and say I’m surprised… I always thought that she might start taking drugs again. I’ve seen a lot of junkies during my lifetime, and, well… your mother didn’t make me think that she would be able to kick her habit,” he said. “Some people have the strength to change themselves… but some don’t. Your mother doesn't strike me as someone who can change. I was hoping she would prove me wrong, but... well, I never really believed in her.”

I sighed.

“I was hoping that she would get better.”

Old Mo looked at me thoughtfully.

“Have none of your previous families had problems with addiction?”

“No. On the islands, we didn’t have drugs. Technology was still in the stone age in that world. In the next world, I don’t know if there were drugs. I admit, I never looked into it much. We had alcohol, but nobody in my last family was too crazy about drinking,” I said. “I think I remember my dad drinking a bottle of wine once? But it wasn't a big deal. So this is the first time I've had a family work out so... catastrophically.”

Old Mo laughed. "Families are complicated. Sometimes they bring you happiness. Sometimes they bring you sorrow. Sometimes... a bit of both." Then, he turned towards me. "Out of curiosity, why are you so attached to your mother in this lifetime? You were responsible for taking care of yourself for almost this entire lifetime. Your mother hasn't done much for you, and hasn't even been awake long enough to shower you with love. I could understand a normal kid wanting to take care of their parents. After all, they don't know anything else. But in some senses, you're older than your mother. Why spend so much time trying to help her?"

“I don't know” I said. "I just feel that families and friends should always stay together. And seeing my family not work out this lifetime hurts a lot. I would give a lot to make it better... but it's just not working out."

“Here,” said Old Mo, handing me a loaf of bread. “You’ll feel better on a full stomach.” I took a look at it, and realized it was one of the types of bread Old Mo’s bakery specialized in. There was cheese melted on top, and a little bit of garlic mixed into the bread. It wasn’t quite as good as a nice fish meal, but it was close.

I sank my teeth into the loaf of bread, and smiled. I could feel the hours of effort Old Mo had spent honing his baking skills. His bread was quite tasty.

Then, Old Mo sighed. “You left your mother behind, right? Did you totally cut off contact with her? You said you wanted advice from me.”

“Well… she’s still in my apartment,” I said. "And I'm not quite sure how to handle everything from this point onward. I could kick her out, or I could find a new apartment to live in. I also don't know how to handle her addiction. Should I keep healing her, but refuse to talk to her? Should I sneak into her room every night to heal her, but refuse to see her? Should I go back and try to ignore her drug addiction?" I could afford a second apartment, but it would strain my budget a bit. I could afford one apartment pretty comfortably, but two was pushing it.

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Deep down, a big part of me hoped that me leaving would serve as a wake up call for my mother. I wanted her to stop taking drugs… but I wasn’t optimistic. Which meant I needed to figure out what to do.

“Well… you’re in a tough position,” said Old Mo. “I don’t like your mother, and my first instinct is to tell you to kick her to the curb. She’s never going to be good news for you. But… I also think that you would feel terrible if she died. You're not the kind of girl who has an easy time abandoning people. Even if they deserve it. The fact that you’re the breadwinner of the family makes this more complicated than it should be. Hmm… how about this? You can still shut her out of your life… but let her stay in your apartment? You could have someone from Dr. Trish’s clinic check up on her every week and handle necessary stuff like food and water, as well as keep an eye on her. The people from Dr. Trish’s clinic are more than qualified to give basic medical checks on your mother. However, you could also refuse to see her, and leave her to handle paying for her… habit on her own,” said Old Mo. “That might force her to stop taking drugs… or it might push her into another path to look for money. She’s a bit on the older side now, so I don’t know if she’s able to return to her previous profession. If she tries to use sewing to pay for her drug habit, she might be able to manage it. Fizz is dirt cheap, unfortunately. But your money won't go towards supporting her habit. After that, you can see her again if she quits.”

Old Mo hesitated, as he ruminated on my words more.

“You could also sneak in and provide healing magic for her every night. But I don’t think that would be the healthiest option for you. Maintaining some distance between the two of you would be good for you, in my opinion. This is my suggestion, so you can take it with a grain of salt. But this maintains a healthy distance between the two of you, without abandoning her to die.”

I thought about it. I wasn’t sure if Old Mo’s idea was correct or not. If I helped my mother with her living expenses, in a sense, I was still supporting her lifestyle. After all, I knew that my mother would find ways to keep getting drugs if she had the option. Did I want to keep helping her, even though she wasn’t helping herself?

At the same time, she was still my family. I would feel guilty if she went back to prostitution, or died from a drug overdose. Completely abandoning her didn’t feel right to me, even though I was frustrated with her. And I also didn't want to live in the same apartment with her anymore. It didn't feel right, to live with her and ignore her addiction. If I was nearby, I would try to make her quit. I didn't have the ability to stand near someone I cared about and just watch them die.

“I guess that's the best idea I've heard so far,” I said. “I’ll make arrangements with Dr. Trish later.” Normally, Dr. Trish’s facility didn’t do any sort of home-visit service. But she would be willing to make an exception for me. Having a member of the clinic check on my mother once a week wasn't too much to ask for. And since the members of the clinic were emotionally detached from my mother, they wouldn't hurt if they saw her destroying herself. They would see her as another patient, and nothing more than that.

“Thanks for talking with me, Old Mo,” I said. “I just… I wish that she didn’t return to her drug habit.”

“You can’t control the actions of other people. It would have been nice if she hadn’t started taking Fizz again, but don’t blame yourself for that. Whatever happens, it’s on her,” he said, before ruffling my hair gently. “You don’t have a place to stay for the night, do you? You can sleep in my guest room tonight, and figure out your living arrangements later. Or you can even stay there until you finish university. You're practically the daughter that Mary and I never had, after all. You're always welcome to stay here.” He smiled at me, and I smiled back.

Having a definite plan felt… nice. I still wasn't happy about what had happened. Part of me still wondered if I was making the wrong decision. But right or wrong, I at least had a plan now. That was... something.

After that, I went to set things with one of Dr. Trish’s workers. Dr. Trish was more than willing to help me set up a check-in system for my mother. Once a week, a worker would check up on my mother. They would bring food, clean the house, pay rent, and check up on my mother's health. They would also contact me if a medical emergency happened and my mother needed urgent healing magic. As much as I was disappointed in her, I wouldn't leave her to die if she was overdosing. Meanwhile, I went to find another apartment to stay in. My budget was a lot tighter, since I was paying for two apartments now… but it was manageable. I also needed much less room, now that I only needed space for one person.

After I set everything up, a month passed by. My mother didn't quit her fizz habit, and she also didn't ask to see me again. I felt a stab of pain when I realized that my mother really wasn't going to change. However, I kept moving forward. If my mother was unwilling to change... I couldn't make her.

Soon, school break came about. As we had already planned, Anise and I started making arrangements to head towards the warzones to the west of Damilius.

It was time to start our worldstrider hunt.