Since the day I was born, my only purpose was to protect my mother, I still remember clearly of the day I was born.

I was inside a small hole, there was no one there except for my mother, and when I opened my eyes the first thing I could see was my mother's scared expression.

After that I only remember being bombarded with confusing and broken information, I don't remember everything, but all that knowledge helped me understand my purpose.

From the moment I was born I knew that I would fight alone, it was just me and my mother, and I had to protect her no matter how, I was made to be her savior and her most loyal son.

But I was scared, so scared.

I was alone. Without anyone to teach me how to fight, no one to guide me or to tell me what i need to do and how to act, all I received were orders to kill and a bunch of broken information.

So that's what I did, from the day I was born I killed everything I could find, for what reason? That was my mother's wish, and her wishes must be fulfilled. With many difficulties I managed to kill a small creature that walked on the earth, and I could feel that after killing it I had became stronger, so after that I continued killing everything that seemed weak, I continued and continued until I completed my mother's first order.

I continued with all this senseless killing day after day, everything to satisfy my mother's desires, I kept hoping that one day I would have other brothers, others who would help me, brothers that I could guide through the confusion that was this world, I wanted to have a family.

I wanted to be loved.

But my mother refused, and I could see why, she looked at me with disgust, as if I were a monster, looked at me as if I were a stranger or an intruder in her life, she did not love me, even though I loved her with all my body and soul.

I could feel for our link, the heartbreak, the disappointment, the anger and sadness she felt, and it all seemed to be my fault, but I couldn't understand what I had done wrong, since I was born I had only done my mother's orders, and yet it never seemed to be good enough.

I wasn't good enough.

I knew that our house was not safe, I wanted us to move, I wanted to get out of that closed and dangerous place, but my mother did not listen. I had to show her how dangerous our house was. I asked her to make more brothers to help me, I pleaded, but all my requests were refused.

When she agreed to move to a new place, I was happy, I thought that if only we could find a safe place then I could protect my mother, but halfway through we had been attacked.

I always knew my purpose, it was to protect my mother, my own will didn't matter at all, my desires didn't matter.

My life didn't matter.

Her wishes were the only thing that mattered.

I didn't wanted to sacrifice myself for my mother, but if she could survive then it don't matter if I died in the process. The colony can survive as long she is alive.

As I struggled with that insect I only thought about buying time for my mother to run away, I didn't need to win, I just needed to buy enough time for her to run far away, so I could die in peace.

But when I went to check if she had already fled, she was still there, completely standing in the same place, as if to say that I was useless for not being able to defeat a single enemy. I couldn't let her die, it couldn't happen, no matter what. Mommy need to survive no matter what. So I activated my skill [royal duty] since that way I could show my mother all my glow, I could show her that I was a powerful warrior, show her that I was not a weak and useless peace of nothing. Even if I die in the process I would die fulfilling my purpose, and that's all that matters.

When I activated the [royal duty] I could feel a great force getting over my body, as if every limb was subtly strengthened, and my whole body became lighter, my mind became clearer and my senses sharper, it was easy to grab that creature's neck and break it.

For the first time in my life I had felt pleasure in killing, real preasure, i felt proud of my actions, felt that I had proved to my mother my ultility, but then... Everything began to get cloudy and cold, and soon I fainted.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a hole, my whole body ached, my once powerful and light joints were now heavy and weak, my sharp senses were sluggish and confused, and again I felt... Useless. I felt like all that pain was some kind of punishment for being so useless. But then my mother appeared, she was crying and sobbing, apologizing for something that didn't matter at all.

She apologized for being useless, but I was the useless one, she apologized for being weak, but I was the weak one, and she apologized for being dumb, but I was evem more dumb.

'Did my mother make a mistake? How is that even possible? She should be perfect. She's perfect.'

I couldn't understand why she was apologizing? Why did she come back for me? Why didn't she leave me behind? I was a wounded soldier, taking care of me was an idiotic act. But she still did her best, she brought food and medicine, she seemed to be exhausted and finished, and that was so.... Unexpected.

My mother was always perfect, always neat and clean, had delicate features and was simply the most beautiful creature in the universe. But at that moment she was not clean and tidy, she was crying, she was dirty, she was stinking and messy.

'Isn't she perfect?'

I couldn't understand, how could a being like her be wrong, how could my mother of all creatures in the world be wrong? How imperfect is she?

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Was she imperfect like me?

I could not believe, that my mother could be an imperfect being, she should be the embodiment of perfection, and yet she demonstrated mistakes and failures.

So if even my mother, the most perfect being that exists can make mistakes... What can I, a mere useless creature, do to avoid making mistakes?

It was wrong, I know it was wrong, but I felt so happy to know that she could make mistakes, I felt so relieved to know that I wasn't the only one scared, I was so happy to know that I was.... Beloved.

When the day dawned that day, I began to talk more with my mother, I began to expose my ideas, after all mom said that she needed me, that she wanted my help, that I was needed!

I was so happy when she accepted my ideas, I was so happy and I ended up flying the fastest I've ever flown in my life. After a long journey I could see my mother sleeping in my arms, and it was just incredible! She trusted me enough to entrust her safety to me while she slept, and after a long journey we found our new home.

I was so excited about the new home, I was euphoric when mum said she would raise a bunch of workers. I protected our new home with tooths and nails against anything that had came near, I hurted myself from time to time, but the pain was rewarding, I could feel it, with each fight with each slaughter, I got stronger, I needed to keep killing, I needed to become strong enough so that Mama would feel even more proud of me.

When the workers were born, I was so excited that I almost cried, they were so adorable and small, so cute and full of life, I swore to myself that day that I would protect them, that they would not be lost like me when I was born and that they would never get hurt as long I was alive.

I did something for them, something I wish someone had done for me, which was to explain what was going on, it's pretty scary being born in an empty room, so I tried to reassure them all. I kept sending information through our link, and I kept calming them down, and it seemed to work somehow.

I felt so special at that moment, being the Big Brother was something so incredible, it made me grateful that mom had raised me first.

Then for a long time things stayed the same, the workers worked mom worked and I fought, I was still upset about being the only soldier, but soon mom raised 5 more soldiers, they were my long awaited hope, they were what I've been waiting for all this time, it was my chance to be the light in the middle of the darkness.

I waited patiently for the soldiers to arrive, I was happy to be able to monitor the workers and make sure they were okay, but suddenly one day, our heads began to hurt, a clear attack that came directly through the link, like a merciless and devastating thunder, it was a hallucinate pain, and I felt as if my whole brain trembled, I saw my brothers falling to the ground one by one with expressions of pain and terror.

And I was again a useless being who could not fulfill his purpose. A stupid failure who couldn't keep his promise.

After that I fainted and woke up a while later, my head was hurting and my thoughts were confused and tangled, I was angry, very angry.

'What had happened? Who did this, Who hurt us? Who hurt my brothers? Who hurt mom!?!'

I ran inside the nest, and I saw mommy passed out, so i moved her to a corner and tried to wake her up for a long time until she finally opened her eyes.

I was so relieved when she woke up, I tried to figure out what had happened. If the link had been attacked, then mom was the main target. But as she spoke I realised, it wasn't an attack, it was her.

Did mom hurt us?

Why would she do that, why would she try to kill us? But she didn't explain anything, she just kept giving me a bunch of damn excuses for her stupid mistakes. Why did I feel so angry at her? I got so mad, she hated us so much that she wanted to kill herself and all of us, jjust to not stay with us?? Did she want us to drop dead just because we weren't to her liking?

She didn't even wanted to give us a chance to be useful, she just stood there crying like she was the victim.

And it annoyed me.

We were the victims here, we who sacrificed your's lifes for her, we fought for her, we would died for her! And she couldn't even tolerat the ideal of being with us!?!

I was so hurt, so angry, my precious brothers could have died because of her mistake, I could have died and most importantly, she could have died.

And she was just apologizing?

I don't remember what I said, I just remember screaming, saying things I don't think I should have sayed, criticizing her and blaming her for everything, I had been ungrateful, I had spit on the plate I ate and soon I felt the regret wave coming. But to my surprise my mother was not angry with me, she just was... Happy? Determined? Understanding?

I don't know, but she changed in that moment, she became more focused, more understanding, more joyful, and more... Focused.

----------------------------------------

After that things started to improve. The soldiers were born, the colony grew, I evolved and now I had a big happy family, as I always dreamed.

And all because I yelled at my mother!

"Hans! What do you think of that enemy right there? I think we can beat him easily."

"Huh? Forgive me I was thinking of another matter."

Now I was helping the soldiers level up, I had already evolved and now I wanted this for all my brothers, the creature Herald pointed out was a black caterpillar, a very common creature around here, I had already killed hundreds of them and would be an easy target.

"This one will do, stay away"

When they heard my command all the soldiers flew away a little, so I went into the [combat posture] and gave a quick charge until I reached very close to my enemy and stucked my harpoon in the creature.

The larva tried to struggle for a while, creating several black spines on his back and curling itself into a ball, but it was useless against me.

I just forced my harpoon and the shell of the creature crushed by my strength, soon as the harpoon penetrated the flesh of the larva, a reddish liquid began to flow, and the larva let out a squeal of pain, the larva realized that its defense was useless and tried to attack me, but it only took a few quick movements to dodge its erratic blows and grab its neck.

The larva struggled and whimpered, as if it was asking for mercy, but I did not care for his suffering, I continued to squeeze his throat until the larva began to curl up on itself and soon fainted.

All the junior soldiers looked at me with admiration and clapped their hands, they respected me, they admired me and they counted on me.

I always wanted this, being necessary for my beloved ones.

"Kill him now."

As soon my words fell a group of soldiers quickly flew up to the larva and began to stab it, tear it and hit it as if it were some kind of unimportant punching bag, the soldiers showed no respect or mercy to the larva that until a few moments was just living quietly without worries, and soon the creature died.

[Warning]

You earned 12 Xp from killing a [Spike caterpillar]

"How much Xp did you guys had earned?"

"9!"

"I got 4!"

"10 for me!"

"Hummm.. That's too little, we're going after bigger creatures..."

"Yes brother!"

All the soldiers responded in unisom, and followed Hans, leaving behind the body of the lifeless larva, as if the creature that was once a living being was nothing more than a mere useless piece of garbage now.

"For the colony and for our brothers, we will grow stronger and more powerful, we will grow unstoppably until no creature in this clearing can challenge us, we will grow until our mother is satisfied and proud of our achievements!"

"For our mother! For our brothers! And for our home!"

"For our mother! For our brothers! And for our home!"