I emerge. I’m running before I can consciously register it, almost dashing into a cream coloured wall.
Halting for a second, I start to register my surroundings. A spacious room, naturally lit through a large, extra-thick glass window. Pastel coloured walls, floor, and soft fluffy carpet. One of those big dog beds with toys and cushions in it. A bowl with fresh berries and plump roots, and another with water.
Am I in the psych ward? Already?
Almost in spite of myself, the room slowly calms me down. The soft afternoon light is soothing, the roots are pretty good, and I’m left mercifully alone. I pick up the water bowl with both hands to drink from, and as I set it down, the door opens and a Chansey’s head pops in, round, pink and friendly.
“Hi. Can I come in?” Her voice is cheery, but soft.
I sigh.
“Yeah, come on in.”
I drag a pillow from the bed to sit on, and she sits beside me.
“Hello, I’m Chansey. Do you know where you are?”
“Not really.” Though I have suspicions.
“This is the Pokécenter, in Floaroma Town. A place where we help Pokémon feel better.”
Floaroma. Could be worse.
“Your trainer-“ I flinch, “brought you here, and we saw you were feeling a lot of stress.”
“You could say that.”
“…Can I ask what happened?”
‘I experienced existential hell’ wouldn’t really explain anything.
“I…got a taste of life as a child’s Pokémon.”
Her hairless brow furrows. I think she caught the flinch.
“When young Billy brought you here, he said you were… not well.”
“Probably said I went crazy, right? Fucking stupidass kid.”
Chansey frowns, but stays silent.
“Do you… can you tell from the pokéball how long it’s been? Since he… caught me?”
“He didn’t register your ball before bringing you here, but it looks like it was a week ago.”
Shit. God, mom I’m so sorry…
But I have to get through this first. I shake myself, wake myself up from this state. Start making moves.
I take a deep breath, then start talking.
“He caught me by surprise near the Route through Eterna Forest. Didn’t even see the ball before it hit me in the head. Next thing I know I was fighting a Starly. Tried to talk, he wouldn’t listen. Tried to run and…Billy, I guess, returned me. Then I was fighting a Buizel in some room. Thought if I won I could make him stop and listen, but he just returned me again. Then it was a Bidoof. Climbed up Billy, to stop the battle, so he would understand, but he got spooked. Chucked me back into the Bidoof’s path. I kinda… freaked out after that. I hope that Bidoof’s okay. Then… it was Starly again. Back to Starly. Around and around we go and I just… cracked.”
Chansey’s expression changes as I speak, darkening with every sentence, and by the end of it she’s not looking very friendly at all.
“And then you were here? No resting in between, no eating, no playing… nothing?” Her voice is dangerously soft, but it’s not aimed at me.
I scoff. ”That’s not ‘cool’, fighting is cool.”
“I see. Thank you for telling me, sugar. Do you mind if I leave you here for a bit? Do you need anything?”
I shake my head. ”I’ll be fine, thanks.”
She paints on a gentle smile, and gets up to leave.
“Do you think I can… go home, after this?”
She fights to keep the smile on her face.
“I will do my very best.”
Chansey turns around, and exits with a determined stride.
I slump to the floor, and at last let the piteous squeaks escape from my chest.
Thank Arceus rabbits can’t cry, or the wet fur would give it away.
--X--
Chansey walks through the halls of her Pokécenter, and one look at her face has people and Pokémon alike getting out of the way.
These are the cases that really rile her up, pardon the language.
As she marches off to write her report for Nurse Joy, she remembers the trainer- the child’s telling of events, and almost laughs at how accurate little Buneary’s guess was. ‘Went crazy all of a sudden and bit me for no reason’, indeed…
She huffs as she reaches the PC terminal, and begins to type her report.
Realistically young Billy will get off with a slap on the wrist. They can’t really punish children except in the most extreme of circumstances, nor would she if she could. It isn’t the child’s fault that he isn’t properly educated on good caring and training practices. Thank her lucky stars that he’s underage, and doesn’t have a trainer license, or this would be significantly harder. As it is, she recommends revoking ownership, and returning young Buneary to the wild.
The parents are a different story. They can and will be fined for negligence if she has any say in it, but accusing them of mistreatment is a lost cause without concrete physical harm.
Taking away Billy’s Pokémon will probably raise a fuss, too. There is still a strong cultural significance to catching one’s first Pokémon, and even these days with the League’s stronger presence and the regulations on trainer licenses, a child’s first catch is an important milestone.
Hmm…
Chansey resolves to recommend Joy call in a Ranger as soon possible, anticipating that Billy’s guardian will be a little more hesitant to raise a fuss with one of them than with the Pokécenter staff.
-0-
She is soon proven right.
A little over an hour later, Billy’s father is having a polite conversation with a Ranger in the Pokécenter lobby, a young woman who fortunately got here before him and has read Chansey’s report.
Chansey and Nurse Joy stand behind the counter, quietly wearing business face nº3, or ‘you really shouldn’t have done that, have a nice day’.
The man, who looks as if he’s just gotten off work, sunburnt skin and with a salt-and-pepper five-o’-clock shadow, is careful to sound respectful to the Ranger, a pale brunette with a freckled face, who looks young enough to be his daughter. The uniform is putting in most of the work.
“Now, miss Ranger, we agree that my son shouldn’a been messin’ about with pokéballs yet, but you can’t just take away his starter. That ain’t right.”
“Sir, I’ve read the report, and your son is not fit to be a trainer yet. If you want to give him experience in Pokémon training, I recommend applying for a Lab trainer program or enrolling him at a Gym off-season program. I’m sorry, but as it stands, we’re returning the Buneary to the wild.”
“No! We’re going to be the best ever! I didn’t feed him ‘cause I couldn’t get any, I had to keep him a secret! Plus he wasn’t even hurt in any of the battles!” Billy cries out from behind his father, and the man puts a hand on his child's shoulder.
“Shush now son, lemme handle it,” he says, but the boy continues, steadily raising his voice.
“But he’s registered now! I can feed him, and play with him, and we’ll be best friends! You can’t just take him away!”
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“I said quiet, Billy,” the father transitions his hand onto his son’s head, “but the boy’s right. He’s learned his lesson, no need for alla' this. Plus, it’s his first Pokémon. It’s just not done.”
The Ranger visibly steels herself.
“Sir, this isn’t up for debate. The Pokécenter have made a recommendation, and the Rangers agree. As I said, you and your son have other avenues to pursue, but we are confiscating the Buneary’s pokéball and returning her to Eterna Forest,” she says, turning to the child as she corrects him.
He has the grace to look a bit guilty.
“If you object to this decision, you can file a complaint here at the Pokécenter or at your nearest police station, and a League official will contact you in one to three business days. Excuse me.” The young woman turns on her heel, and marches into the back of the Pokécenter, leaving Nurse Joy and Chansey alone in the room with Billy and his father.
As the man takes his son’s hand and drags him out despite the boy’s building tantrum, face set in a scowl, Chansey’s sure this headache will rear its head again.
She doesn’t regret it though. After all, she promised to do her best, and she will continue to do so to make sure whatever this ends up being, little Buneary will never hear a word of it.
--X--
A couple hours later the door to what I’ve come to call the ‘therapy’ room opens again. Instead of Chansey, a young woman in a red and black uniform looks inside, then steps in and stands at parade rest. She notices her pose and relaxes, pushing a hand through her messy hair.
“Hi Buneary, my name is Amy, I’m a Ranger, and I’m here to take you home.”
I perk up, and try to look beyond the door to see if anyone else is behind her.
“You don’t have to worry about Billy. We’ve conf-we’ve taken his pokéball away.”
I know what confiscated means, thanks. But she was trying to make it easy for a young Pokémon to understand, so I don't begrudge her.
“I have it here with me. We could drop you off where you were caught before you know it.”
Instantly my heartbeat becomes painful. I shake my head frantically. “Yowh! Ngho-“ come on you fucking tongue, move.
”…No!”
Amy freezes.
I eye the pokéball in her hand. “No,” I repeat, and shake my head again, slowly this time.
After five whole seconds, she jerks her head, looks at the ball in her hand, and back to me.
“You don’t want to travel in the ball?”
“No.”
“I-“ she startles again, like her rational mind has just processed what’s happening and she’s blindsided all over again, “-you could ride with me on Rapidash? It’ll take us a day to get there.”
I work the back of my tongue against the roof of my mouth experimentally. ”Kgh….Kh….K,” then look her in the eyes.
“ ’Kay.”
-0-
“Buneary. Wake up please, we want to get going to reach Eterna Forest before dusk.”
I blink my eyes open groggily, and look around me. Where the hell… oh. Yesterday- or, the last week apparently- comes back to me in a rush.
I’m leaning against Rapidash’s flank on a little ravine between cliffs on Route 205, and although the sky is already a bright blue, the sun has yet to appear over the towering peaks of the Coronet mountains to the east.
Amy, Rapidash and I have a modest breakfast, I make a mess of myself with dripping Oran juice, and after cleaning up we set off again, at an uncomfortably fast gallop, with me seated in front of Amy on Rapidash’s back.
The trip here yesterday was uneventful, and I think Amy was still a little shell-shocked by my display, so she hasn’t said much. Rapidash is just naturally taciturn I think, and doesn’t appear very interested.
Our trip through the mountainous paths levels out at around midday, revealing the vast Eterna Forest in the distance.
Probably realizing our trip will be over soon, Amy finally speaks up.
“How long… how did you learn to talk?”
I turn my head up to her and give her a dry look. Thankfully, she’s quick on the uptake.
“Oh, uh… have you been talking for long?”
“No.”
“Yesterday was the first time?”
“ ‘ea.”
“Huh?”
“…yeah.”
“Oh, sorry. That’s amazing though, I didn’t even know that was possible. If you want to give it another try someday, you could be a big hit you know.”
“Yeah.” Not yet though. And not as anything but a free Pokémon.
“Do you have anywhere specific on the Route you want us to stop?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, just tell us when.” She pats the Rapidash’s neck. “Grumpy here is a surly lad, but he’ll steer us right.”
The Rapidash snorts.
“Oh, actually, I guess with all this I should ask, do you have a name?”
…
I don’t have a name. Why the hell don’t I have a name?
I shake my head, and miss whatever Amy says next. Why don’t I have a name? Ever since I’d gained my human memories, I’d known people were supposed to have names, but it hadn’t even occurred to me, in over a month, to think of naming myself.
Why?
To be fair, none of my family have names, we all know each other, and eye contact is usually good enough. But I’m going to live among the humans one day, and I want to be more than just ‘a Buneary’. I need to be me, only me, and I refuse to even consider letting another trainer name me.
Ok, then what is my name?
…nothing comes to mind.
…Bun? Lop? …Mimi?
No, those are all garbage.
Who am I? What do I want?
My goal of roaming the world comes to mind. And the child’s face.
No. I need to do more than that. I need to make sure idiots like him never reduce someone to a fucking toy ever again. That Pokémon know that it doesn’t have to be like this. The other kids’ Pokémon couldn’t even conceive of doing anything else.
I think of my first spoken word. The moment I stood and spoke with a human, as an equal, and was heard.
‘No.’
…What was the monkey’s name, in that movie?
Cesar, right?
…Cleo, then.
My name is Cleo.
The rest of the ride is silent, and eventually Amy and Rapidash drop me off by the side of the road, right where I was captured.
I nod in thanks and wave them goodbye, and while the Ranger looks confused and a little worried, she eventually turns to leave.
“…Give people another chance, okay? We’re not all bad.”
“Yeah.”
They depart, Amy looking back a couple of times, but eventually I’m left alone again.
“So, how was it?”
I turn around to see Shinx emerge from the treeline, his neutral expression in place.
My lips pull up in a snarl. “How the fuck do you think it was?”
The sight of him reminds me of how I got caught in the first place, and I pin him with my eyes.
He appears unmoved. “You asked me not to kill the child, so I did not.”
I say nothing.
His mask of indifference cracks, and he looks ashamed.
“I… did not know what to do.”
…I sigh, a long release of tension.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Further from the road.”
I walk into the trees to start the trek home. I barely hear his murmured response.
“…Alright.”
Barely two minutes later, just as I’m entering Dustox territory, I’m enveloped by a crushing wall of warm fur.
“Child!”
Mom. What is she doing here?
“My daughter… My beautiful, precious, stupid daughter. Where did you go?”
My littermates surround us in a cacophony of questions and exclamations, and I’m carried back to our nest in mom’s arms.
I’m home.
-0-
In the morning, my siblings bombard me with questions again, and I struggle to put on a happy face and deflect their inquiries about humans.
Thankfully mom notices my discomfort and harangues my siblings into our morning training routine.
After about half of it is done, mom tells the rest to continue as usual, and beckons me as far away from my littermates as she’s comfortable going, then kneels on the ground, eyes on mine.
“What. Happened.” Her expression is carefully neutral.
I take a deep breath. Yesterday I decided what I was going to do, and now it’s time to get to work. No more half measures.
“I was captured.”
“By a trainer?”
I nod. “It was… horrible. A nightmare. Moments of fighting with darkness between. Days passing where I could only see moments of them. Nothing but fighting, then darkness. Then fighting.”
“Oh, child…” mom scoops me up into her arms again. ”You are here now. Back to me.”
We sit with each other for a minute.
“Will the trainer come for you?"
“No. I… Others saw what he was like, and released me. A Ranger brought me back.”
“Do you still… want to go to the human lands?”
“Yeah.”
She sighs.
“What do I do with you, child? This feels impossible.”
“I’ll train. Actually train. I’ve been doing what my siblings have been doing, because we were working together. But I can do more. Have to do more. You have more you haven’t been teaching me.”
Her expression twists with guilt. “I... Yes. I am so sorry. You learn so quickly. If I taught you all that I know… then you would leave. You are like your father. Talented… hungry for more.”
She looks to our siblings, who all coincidentally have their ears turned in our direction, and smiles a small, complicated smile.
“Alright. I promised to make you strong. Before Winter, you will be stronger than me. I will show you Fighting energy.”
I smile. Now, for the tricky part.
“Also… I have a training partner.”
“What?”
“He’s a Shinx.”
“WHAT!?” my siblings are not even pretending anymore, and all look at me, aghast.
“You cannot be serious, child! That creature will eat you without remorse!”
“No he won’t, mom. Trained Pokémon work with predators all the time. We’ve made a bargain, and he’s respected it. He had plenty of opportunities to kill me, but he hasn’t, and he won’t.”
“You cannot keep doing this to me child. My heart cannot take it. How can you work with them? After…after…”
I grimace. ”They’re just… They have to, mom. It’s what they eat. I don’t forgive them, and I won’t ask you to, but they’re not evil.”
“Say that to your missing sister!”
Silence descends onto the clearing.
“…Did I tell you how brother and I escaped? That day?”
Mom says nothing.
“We ran to the creek, and jumped over. I knew they were just hungry, and when they tried to strike us with their lightning, they hit the water instead. It hit the Finneon who live there, and they took them and left.”
Mom’s eyes are wide.
“I killed those Finneon, mom. Sacrificed them to take our place. And I would do it again. If it keeps me or any of you alive, I will offer up every Finneon in the world. The Shinx and Luxio are the same. They just want to live. They all just want to live.”
Mom hugs me to her chest again, then a gaggle of Buneary join us. We sit in each other’s presence for a time.
“Why does it have to be like this?” Mom’s voice wavers. ”Could we not just pick from the Berry trees, then go drink in the creek? What is the point of this?”
I don’t know.
“…I don’t want you to leave, child.”
“I have to.” My words are a whisper, but they hurt everyone around me.
“Why? Do you not love it here? Your brothers and sisters, me. You could find a mate in the Burrow, and go make a nest in a beautiful place.”
“…I would hate that.”
Mom closes her eyes, and keens softly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too, child.”
We breathe each other in for a while, carving this moment into memory. It’s over too soon.
Mom breathes deeply. Then again. Then again.
“Alright… alright.” Her voice is soft, but she straightens her spine. “Alright. Stand up.”
The pile disperses, and my siblings and I look at each other, unsure.
Mom adopts the pose of the kick she taught me, and a dark orange light envelops her leg.
Cra-Crack!
Two snaps echo in the air, and mom relaxes her pose.
“Mom?” I voice, uncertain of what’s happening.
“This is Double Kick. I will guide you through the feeling of Fighting energy, then you will practice it every morning. Then I will teach you Double Hit, a version that uses Normal energy, and is useful to fight Poison and Psychic types. Then-“
“Mom, calm dow-“ ”Quiet, child. I am talking now. Then I will teach you Low Kick, which uses an opponent’s weight against them. Then I will teach you Jump Kick, a powerful but dangerous attack. You will learn all of these, and how to keep your body Limber, by the end of Fall. We will come to your training with the Shinx, and I will watch, and if I do not find it suitable you will train with someone else. Am I understood?”
“I made a deal with Shinx-“ ”AM. I. Understood?”
“…Yes, mom.”
“Good. We start now.”