June 12th, 2013

  Today was pretty standard fare for an Uncle Benny trip. I hate nature. Fishing is very boring. I produced more sweat than I thought was humanly possible. Uncle Benny talked a lot. Like, I love the man, but he talks a lot. Seriously. God.

  I'm really glad Hunter was forced to come with us though. Things are always better when he's around.

  ...

  That was the sappiest thing I've ever written about him and I will die instantly if he ever reads that. Currently considering just burning this whole journal, moving to some isolated shack in Alaska, and changing my name for a fresh new start.

  Oh, but something weird happened on the trip too.

  Hunter and I overheard some old dudes talking about some sort of lake monster they called "Old Bob", which is a dumbass name for a cool-as-hell fish creature, but I digress.

  So, we ask Uncle Benny about it, right, and he starts acting all weird and saying it would only cause trouble and that we should stay out of it and stuff like that. Like, you know in horror movies when the main character brings up a seemingly innocent topic at the dinner table and the family goes all quiet and the Unsettling Music™ starts and then grandpa's like "Never say that again, fuck you, I'm not a ghost, you're the ghost, eat your peas," or something equally as suspicious and then the dinner is awkward and tense for the rest of the night? Yeah it was basically one of those scenes, but with my dorky uncle, which made it feel even weirder.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  Maybe I should ask mom about it later or something, because now Hunter and I are really interested in this whole thing, and I'm sure Shelly would be too if we told her.

  Oh shit, we never came up with a plot to get revenge on her for leaving us in our time of need. Dammit. She'll never take us seriously if we never follow through. Maybe we could just use it as leverage to get her to help our investigation? I kind of like the sound of that. Need to remember to run that by Hunter tomorrow.

  But anyway, yeah, the rest of the trip isn't really worth noting. We didn't catch anything. I think Hunter and I achieved the impossible and ruined an outing for Uncle Benny, because he stayed quiet after that conversation. It was awkward as hell. Hated it. 0/10.

  I'm going to sleep now, but first thing tomorrow I'm going to try any online records of Old Bob.

Co-captain of The Piss Lady,

        Cody Greenwood