I didn’t freak out or try to make sense of my predicament, No. At this point, I had essentially been shell-shocked beyond rationalization. Instead, I was distracted by my balls itching in a reality next to this one, my other self relieving the sensation at my behest.
Focusing further, I noticed a few fringe Noah’s working on autopilot, functioning less homogenously and not in my control. Those Noah’s existed several million realities away and felt distinctively different. Like their world and general existence weren’t nearly the same as my own.
“Is that me, or is that alternative me?”
Suddenly those Noahs looked in my general direction sort of as if they were pointing their neurological focus, that’s when I noticed they must have been having the same exact thoughts. Just, in the past. Or maybe they were having different thoughts but each was similar in some way or another? Maybe what is now for me is the past for them or vice versa.
Honesty I had no clue, what I did know is being stared at by several million versions of myself was just plain old creepy. So I stopped, and several seconds later so did they. Except some kept glancing back, each giving me their own contemplative look.
Deciding that I’d be better off ignoring the various versions of myself, I opened my eyes and realized I was no longer in my room at my desk. No, I was hunched over on a bench at a park I didn’t recognize and was currently being stared at by… a dude in white spandex.
“Um, is there something I can help you with?”
I asked him, not sure what a dude larping as some cheesy ’90s superhero was doing staring in my general direction.
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It was pretty obvious the man was a creep so I got up and started to head away from his general direction when he spoke up saying something I didn’t quite hear.
Obviously, I chose to ignore the guy, wanting to figure out where the hell I was when he suddenly appeared directly in front of me, arms folded, a deep-set frown on his face. What I hadn’t noticed before was the dude was absolutely cut and nearly a foot taller.
A feat in itself since I stood five foot eleven.
What I had noticed and was still in the middle of processing, was the fact that he quite literally popped out of nowhere. Sound and all, kinda like uncorking a bottle of wine.
“Um, uh can I help you, sir?” I tried. Just a tad bit intimidated for various unsaid reasons, no longer based on his appearance alone.
“I said, this park is for Denizens only, not filthy vagrants. Now get going, you’re disrupting the peace.”
He said, glaring down at me as if I was some sort of insect.
Disrupting the peace, did this guy think he was some sort of superhero? Especially with that gaudy appearance and the narcissistic posturing. As if he could take on anything. Yet he’s wasting his time on me, someone who was just sitting here on a park bench.
“Look man, I don’t know who you are but I’m minding my own business so buzz off.”
and that was the end of that, I put one foot around his hulking figure and began to walk away.
But of course, that wasn’t the end of that.
Somewhere, in a different reality, the dude decked me in the face, just a fraction of a second before he tried to in this one. Instinctually I flinched back and down under his swing, his forearm grazing my chin and pushing me off balance.
My back slammed against a tree and I flopped down onto the park grass, hands sheltering my face.
“Fuck, what the hell man!”
I yelled, panic clear in my voice.
Captain Cunt paused and looked around to see if anyone had noticed his clear unprovoked assault, not finding anyone in our general vicinity, he turned back around.
“It’s scum like you that dirty the streets.” He said, sneering at my crumpled form.
Shakily I began to gather my bearings, edging my back up against the tree as I stood.
However, Cunt Man probably saw that as a sign of resistance, because he immediately popped up to my right, fist flying full boar into my face. My head rocked back hard against the tree and I blacked out.