James always planned for the worst and hoped for the best, a rule she tried to follow even now as she had no clue what the best could possibly be. Therefore, she continued to pack her backpack with the same things she carried when she first entered the Tutorial zone: a change of clothes, her tablet, and some toiletries. A fact she tried to keep to herself as the one time Jean Louis had noticed he had teased her about it.
Of course, she was proven correct when she exited her door on day 57 of the survival quest only to turn around and see that it has ceased to exist. Blinking in shock, she turned around to face Jean Paul and Louis again, and said, “I take it this is happening to everyone?”
Jean Paul gave her a good-natured scowl but nodded all the same, “I give up. You were absolutely right. My mother would be ashamed I questioned you so!” He gave a dramatic huff as he and Louis began walking with her. Like always, they maintained their vigilance, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. She had yet to really see a monster that paid any heed to her.
Granted, they did bare their teeth consistently to Jean Paul, and even Louis now, but they had never been attacked. She also had to admit that this wasn’t exactly normal, but some groups of people seemed to be especially hated by the goblins. She knew because the same groups always seemed to come to the infirmary to seek treatment or simply didn’t show up at all. There was a reason Arthur checked off names without reading them aloud in the morning, it wouldn’t do for morale to sink as people began realizing who was missing.
The other time people could see monsters was during an attack, and she was always safely tucked away for those. By the time she came to, the area around her would already be cleansed, with Louis and Jean Paul patiently waiting for her with a sweet drink and food. Of course, she’d feel better if she weren’t with the group at all, but they were trying.
If she was honest with herself, Christian, Jean Paul, and Louis were the only reason she still stayed with the camp. Or to be more accurate, the only reason she didn’t act on any plan for running away. Like simply hoarding food in her apartment and never coming out. In many ways, they treated her better than her own family. Though to be fair, in many ways she had escaped them too. If she were truly being honest, eventually she knew she’d reach a boiling point and run away. At that point when consequences simply wouldn’t matter to her. And truly honestly? She was close. So close.
But she wasn’t under any illusion, if she got away it would be against the express wishes of Arthur. And Christian, Jean Paul, and Louis were all loyal to him above anything else. Of course, she really didn’t know why. She simply didn’t see what made him so awesome to them.
“Your mother?” She veered slightly to the left and they followed as she noted that he never mentioned his family before. Talking with them had become a bit more natural over the two weeks. Unlike Christian, whose Calming Aura made sure she was semi-normal, they didn’t enjoy the same luxury, so their social progression beyond acquaintances was slow and awkward.
“Oh yeah, she’s a receptionist at a bank, does the most boring job, but she would take us climbing on the weekends. Now, it isn’t a very popular sport here in Roussillon, that would be our wine,” he paused for a wink in her direction. Did he know she wasn’t from the area? Why say it like that otherwise? James didn’t have time to dwell on it as Jean Paul continued, “but she showed us everything. How to set up our harness, the knots. She can’t go climbing anymore, arthritis, but I can’t look at a proper piece of stone without thinking about her. Devious, really. What about you, what’s your mother like?”
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James paused, thinking about it. She had to admit, most of the time when she thought about her mother it was in therapy, so it was hard to think of too many positive things to say. A sad thought in itself really. Finally, she found a memory she could share.
“She’s a middle-school teacher, and somehow still popular with the kids. She teaches science, so she always brought interesting things back home. One time she showed me and my brother how to dissect a frog. He was squirming the entire time and making gagging noises, so she made him go away. I found it really interesting though,” she shrugged. Now that she was thinking about it, it was probably part of the reason she wanted to be a doctor for so long.
Her relationship with her family was so backwards it hurt to think about most times. James’s social anxiety lay as a barrier even between them, fracturing her relationships with them before they really had a chance to blossom. Naturally, with her mother being a middle school teacher, her parents had believed they could handle whatever was coming their way. After all, if Clarissa could deal with those bags of hormones, what could go wrong? The answer was clearly James.
There were several issues with James. Firstly, she was a girl. For some reason they hadn’t asked about the gender during pregnancy and decided her mother was having a boy. When she came out, all 6 pounds 4 ounces of her, they didn’t bother to change anything they had already prepared. So James was saddled with a boy’s name. One which would have seen her teased through school if she would have gone near anyone else.
It wasn’t like she was treated horribly; she had her own room growing up and was provided three meals a day. She was even taken to therapy once that had been suggested by the school, even if they forgot occasionally. Constantly. And they agreed to let her homeschool, though she wasn’t sure if it was because they didn’t want the town to remember she existed or if it was because of how she suffered.
James just… didn’t really exist in their lives, almost a ghost in her own home. Even the family photos framing the walls bore no mention of her save for one picture of her at her high school graduation. She had heard her mother confide in her dad that the only reason she had put it up was because she wasn’t sure she’d see her get another diploma. And that people could always assume they forgot to take out the stock photo.
James and her family just felt like a business interaction, one which they were annoyed they had invested in in the first place. So she was left paying for her own college tuition despite her parents’ saving for Damien’s college days. After all, why pay for something that wouldn’t bear fruit? And while they supported Damien, catering to his every interest, they barely knocked on her door to tell her that dinner was ready only to ignore her when she sat down.
That lone memory dissecting the frog was probably one of the only times she interacted easily with her mom. They’d done it all outdoors, so it was easier to ignore her social anxiety, and since her mom was interested in the topic she had stuck around even when Damien had left.
All too soon, they neared the clearing. Or at least James assumed so because she could clearly hear people. When she finally refocused on the world, she realized they were still far enough away that that shouldn’t be the case. At least the tell-tale headache of an attack wasn’t present, but neither were the normal noises of the clearing. Looking at her bodyguards, who weren’t reacting weirdly, James squared her shoulders. They were right, and it was high time she come to terms with it. Whatever was there, they would deal with. There just wasn’t any other option.