The usual screeching alarm blasted my ears. My eyes fluttered open, and I slowly sat up. My memories of yesterday were dazed and hazy. I reached out with my hand, hitting the soft mattress before grabbing my phone. I looked at it with heavy eyes.
The screen stayed black.
I tapped a few times. Dead, I thought. A brief memory of staring at it for too long last night flashed into my mind. “Shiiiiiiiiit.” I mumbled.
I stumbled out of bed somehow and donned my plain clothes. It was like every other day. Except - something felt so empty. I had filled the days with work, with teaching. I had filled the emptiness with thoughts, crushed emotions and retrospect with logic and planning.
I tried to think of a lesson, but the crushing weight of nothing eliminated it.
So I embraced that. I sat there, still and unmoving. The time went by - or it didn’t. I wouldn’t care anyway.
Knock, knock.
I ignored it.
KNOCK, KNOCK.
Harder this time - more difficult to ignore.
“Caaaaade!” Seph’s voice reached my ears. It was music, beautiful, really.
This time it was impossible to ignore. I stood, and opened the door. Seph looked me up and down with his stunning eyes. “We have some… combat training.” He said… almost sheepishly?
I stepped out, and sighed. “Okay.” There was a pause, then I looked at the time. God, have I been sitting for three hours? “H-how did the lesson go?” I stuttered.
Seph shrugged. “It was fine.” It was then that I noticed we were alone, everyone else probably already down for training. “C’mon,” he said. “We don't want to leave the others waiting!”
I nodded shakily, but didn’t move. Seph rolled his eyes, grabbed my hand, and practically dragged me down to practice.
𒄆
The practice arena had completely transformed the last time we were there. Where there was once a large open space, there was now a forest filled with barren trees. Artificial snow littered the ground, creating a barren feel. Stepping onto it felt strange. I should have been cold - as I would have been in a true snowy forest. But the warmth of early fall still ran through me.
Everyone else was forming a line. Jake had not appeared yet, so we just fell in with everyone else. To my dismay, the rest of the Xarnon agents were far away on the other side of the line.
After maybe a minute of waiting in awkward silence, Jake emerged, followed by a caravan of carts bearing fake weapons and gear. “Hello all!” Jake said. He said it excitedly, but the words carried weight. He was no longer as carefree as he was last time.
“Today, we’ll just be playing some good old paintball,” he continued. The supplies were passed down the line in a matter of seconds. Jake stepped forward, dividing our ranks. “Everyone on this side,” he began, motioning to the line we stood in. “Will be Team #1.”
He motioned to the other line, with Naomi, Les, Mel, and Vivian. “This is Team #2.” My heart sank. If we would be playing a competitive team game, I would have hoped to be doing it with the Xarnon agents, together.
I donned the vest and helmet, and grabbed the loaded paintball gun, strapping on the necessary straps. “And remember,” Jake said, his tone darkening. “This is to simulate war. There will be no silly ‘capturing the flag.’ You are here to seize control of the other team’s base, killing or taking captive all of them. If you get hurt, nobody cares. There are no rules in war.”
On that cheery note, he directed both teams to the forest, which was large and tightly packed with trees and dead undergrowth. Not going to be easy to fight in, I thought. We made our way to the base. A small metal structure met my eyes. It had a trench, a wall, and a main building. It had one main center room and two others branching out to either side.
I hopped over the trench, Seph following. “We’re in this together,” he whispered, before leading us within. The wall was thin and unstable, with slits for shooting through. The actual building had no windows, and one entrance. The main room was empty but for a couch. In one area was a cage that had no lock, the other a table and chairs.
“You’ve got to give it to them,” Seph muttered to me. “They worked hard for realism.”
Jake was suddenly at the front gate. None of us had seen his approach somehow. “You-” he pointed at a random soldier. “You are team captain. You lead,” he turned to us. “And you listen.”
With that, he left as quickly as he had come. Our team captain called: “Everyone, outside,” at her orders, we emerged.
Just as Jake had divided us, the captain split our line in half. “You all will be on offense,” she said to the side with me and Seph. Seph’s face curved into a smile under his visor. “And the rest are on defense. You may, of course, change positions in an emergency. I will stay with the base,” She finished.
We stood in silence, waiting for the command.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
A crackly voice filled our ears, probably coming from loudspeakers all around. “Match starts at 3…”
I took a deep inhale.
“2…”
I exhaled.
“1…”
I readied myself.
“GO!”
The offense team ran forth. I stayed next to Seph, while soldiers scattered into the undergrowth. Seph ducked down, and I followed suit. We crept slowly. Muffled sounds of paintball-gunfire filled our ears. There was a flash of movement, and I was jerked to the ground. The wet, powdery-ness of the fake snow dampened my clothes. It was slightly cold, but nothing like the real thing.
“Who was that?” I heard. It was their fatal mistake. Seph pointed to exactly where the voice came from. I popped up, and shot.
BANG!
“…!” They screamed.
I ducked down again. I looked at Seph. “Welp, no one with any sense of hearing knows where we are.”
Seph smirked. “Not for long.”
He rose to a crouch, and I copied him. Together, we moved quickly and stayed low. Multiple rounds of paintball-gunfire echoed in the distance. A few more soldiers were shot down, by me and Seph alike.
About three-quarters of the way to the other team’s base, we met up with the remainder of the offensive team. “Ready to storm this place?” One asked. We nodded.
Seph took up the lead, leading us to carefully pick through the undergrowth. Voices carried into our ears. I heard the remainder of the Xarnon agents, who must’ve been on defense. Seph signaled us with his hands.
He held up a three, two, one…
“GO!” He shouted.
We lept forth, springing into action.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
I barely had any time to react as paint splattered everywhere. I saw movement in the trench, and I fired.
Curses were shouted as my teammates and the enemy alike stumbled away, color splattered over them. I shot twice more, then retreated back into the bushes. Seph quickly followed. “What do you-” I began.
Everything went silent. The shots had stopped. “HEY!” Les shouted. “YOU IN THE BUSHES, DROP YOUR WEAPONS OR BE ELIMINATED!”
I looked at Seph. He sighed, and set down his gun. “ONCE YOU HAVE SET DOWN YOUR WEAPONS,” Les continued. I quickly put mine down as well. “STEP OUT! IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY WITHIN TEN SECONDS, WE WILL OPEN FIRE ON YOU. TRUST ME, PAINTBALLS HURT.”
We rose, and stepped out, hands up. Les smirked. “Greetings, captives. You are our new hostages.”
Seph rolled his eyes. “Drop the commander bullshit and lock us up already.”
Les shrugged. “Fine, scum.” He motioned to Mel and Naomi. “Guard them.”
We were escorted to our cells by the two of them. Naomi fake-shoved us behind the bars. I grumbled a few choice words, before settling down on the one piece of furniture here - a wooden bench. Seph sat on the ground, leaning against the wall.
Paint-guns in hand, Mel and Naomi just stood facing them on the other side of the bars. “So…” I began. “How’s everything going?”
Mel shrugged. Naomi sighed. “We got a good lesson in,” xe said. “Finished up with RalKed and got to attacks that’ll piss off the network enough to substantially slow down the internet.”
Great. The one lesson where I wasn’t there they got good progress. That shouldn’t be wrong. That shouldn’t sting.
But it does.
I just nodded. Seph’s face darkened, as if he had sensed something wrong.
He scooched closer.
And reached for my hand. I let his fiery touch sear the top of my cold skin. I sighed. “Good. That’s-that’s great.”
“And-” Mel dropped their tone. “We think we made some progress on the investigation. We’ve got programs to run with the database, which means: filters here we come!”
I laughed, and so did Seph. Softly, but at least it was something. Something warm to bat out the shadows that lived rent-free in my head. I bit my lower lip. “Have you thought about how we filter?” I began. “I mean, we don’t even know how a cyberattack will be labeled. Or if it was launched a long time ago and just recently activated.”
Naomi shrugged. “It’s still progress.”
Seph frowned. “Speaking of progress, do you think when Whiteford advances on Russia, she’ll bring some of us along?”
I shuddered. “I hope not.”
The thought was verbally dismissed, mentally carved in stone and set away in the annoying little area where thoughts periodically scream at me.
You and Seph can never be together.
You can’t have a happy ending.
Your parents hated you.
You will die forgotten at war.
Liva and Khan are dead.
I hurled myself back into the present, putting a stop to that train that I really don’t want to follow. Sometimes I think it's a good thing that I forget all my dreams. Leaving my unconscious self to its own company is dangerous, as I have learned.
BANG! BANG! Paintball-gunfire interrupted everything.
“Shit.” Mel swore. I realized that was the first time I had heard her cuss. I had just assumed that she didn’t. She quickly covered her mouth and blushed.
Or she doesn’t try to.
“STOP SHOOTING OR WE KILL ALL OF THE PRISONERS!” Les shouted.
Someone laughed loudly and shouted back. “IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, MOTHERFUCKER!”
BANG! BANG! BANG! The firing continued.
Naomi sighed. “Sorry about this.”
Before I knew it, there were two loud BANG’s, and I felt a pain in my chest.
Pink had splattered my vest and some on my neck. “Gaaaah.” Seph moaned, wiping red off his cheeks.
“Fuck you…” I muttered, holding up a certain obscene gesture as we stumbled away.
Mel giggled, and pushed past us into the fight, followed by Naomi. Les followed us, blotches of yellow and blue on his legs and chest. I smirked. “Maybe being a prisoner is just as bad as being on the field commander boy,” I teased.
Les rolled his eyes. “Die with dignity or in some prison shithole - your choice.”
“Prison shithole me up!” Seph yelled, saluting.
We laughed and approached the edge of the field. Our energy was instantly killed by the grim faces on the other side. A line of paint-splotched soldiers led up to Jake, who held a phone, and was scrolling on it.
He said something to the soldier in front, making her frown and lower her head. Jake looked up, meeting our eyes. “Xarnon agents, you may return to your dorms. You don’t need this news.” I looked at Les and Seph, shrugging. “NEXT!” He shouted.
We made our way back to the dorms. It was getting to be late, and Mel, Naomi, and Vivian would probably be behind us. Maybe not Vivian, because if anyone was going to be the sole survivor, it would probably be her.
We reached the dorm door, and Les led the way in. He flicked on the light switch. “I don’t know about you,” he said as we entered the room. “But a shower sounds pretty damn good right now.”
I looked at Seph, then back at Les. “You can shower first, but I’ll be second.”
Seph sighed dramatically. “Look at these two impolite gentlemen, denying me my place in the shower. What improper people! What bi-”
“You’ll survive,” Les interrupted. He stepped into the bathroom, and shut the door.
“Ffffffffine.” Seph mumbled. “I guess I will watch the television and wait for my refreshing wash.” He smirked. “You know, my-”
“And I’ll interrupt you there.” I said. “Because with that face and that sentence starter, nothing good can come out of your mouth.”
He shrugged. “Fair enough.”
And yet, I somehow wanted to know what would come at the end of that sentence.
I pushed that small part of me down, and settled in for a quiet evening.