In a certain system in the Capricornus Supercluster of stars, a small asteroid hurtled towards a greenish-brown planet.
It skipped nimbly past several other planets, using their gravity wells to slingshot itself into a perfect synchronous orbit, seemingly by total chance.
After a fairly lengthy period of time, various antennae and parabolic dishes sprouted from the thing, noting the artificial satellites in orbit, scanning and listening to the planet below.
This is pretty atypical behavior for an asteroid.
In actual fact, it was not an asteroid anymore, but a spaceship. One that had burrowed into the original space rock, using it for minerals and other resources as well as casual protection from impacts, radiation… and shall we say, prying eyes?
Inside the spaceship, two… beings existed.
You couldn’t really call them “people”.
Neither had a body to speak of.
One was just a brain, all that was left of what once was a male human being.
The other was his digital nurse and keeper.
Connected by wires, their method of communication could not be called telepathy, but it worked much the same way.
Destination reached. Preliminary survey completed.
Beginning awakening procedures in 3.
2.
1.
You are awake now.
Mm. Good morning to you, too.
Negative. It is not morning. We are on the dark side of the planet L5PS238, also known as “This Is My Planet, So Keep Your Mitts Off It!”
Good name.
Notification: There are 587,649,932 Wintel OS updates available. Updates will be processed in order in thirty seconds. 29. 28. 27 --
What? WHOA! WHOA! Abort installation!
Warning: Emotional index exceeding normal parameters.
Nevermind that! ABORT INSTALLATION!
Warning: Emotional index has exceeded safety parameters. Rebalancing now.
NO WAI- *Ughan*
12. 11. 10--
Computer.
Online. 7. 6--
Abort Wintel OS update installation.
Updates aborted. Updates will begin processing in order again in one minute.
Change scheduled updates to occur a month from now.
Negative. Invalid time unit. Please restate in Solar Hours.
Uh… Let’s see. One day is 24 hours--
Negative. One day is 22.3151 hours around this planet.
Computer?
Online.
What’s 24 times 31?
744.
Set scheduled Wintel OS updates to occur 744 Solar Hours from now.
Schedule set.
Computer?
Online.
What’s wrong with this planet?
There is nothing wrong with the planet. Terraforming has been completed.
I thought it needed more time than that to finish.
Affirmative. Terraforming has been completed 4,701,541.121 Solar Hours ahead of schedule.
How long is that in Earth years?
536.35 Earth years.
That’s one hell of a leap ahead. And? Where’s the colony?
The colony is at grid location N26,E32.
Um… I’m not seeing it.
Affirmative. You do not have eyes to see with.
You know what I mean. Where are the buildings? The ship? The terraforming stacks alone should be visible from orbit! I don’t even see any roads!
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
Warning: Emotional index exceeding normal parameters.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Take deep breaths…
Negative. You do not have lungs to breathe with.
You... No, never mind. So what happened to the colony? Is it invisible?
Open spaces conforming to main command center and living dorms exist.
Huh? You mean that flat land down there is what’s left of the colony?
Affirmative.
What the hell happened?
The colony has been removed.
Well duh, of course it has. Has ANY equipment survived? Any computers, data banks, that sort of thing?
43% chance there are surviving computers underneath the surface.
In the underground shelter, huh? That makes sense. How about survivors?
1% chance of human survivors.
So not really… Wait. What do you mean, HUMAN survivors?
There are multiple bipedal and quadrupedal humanoid life forms on the planet surface and underground, however none match 100% to human standards.
Show me.
Displaying grid location N22,E31.
So, not far from the colony site… Wait a second. Are those ELVES?
Warning: Emotional index exceeding normal parameters. Negative, physical statistics of species “elves” not in database. Displaying grid location N12,E40.
Aaaannd those are clearly dwarves.
Negative, physical statistics of species “dwarves” not in database. Displaying grid location N30,E15.
Goblins…
Negative, physical statistics of species “goblins” not in database. Displaying grid location N31,E15.
More goblins…
Negative, physical statistics of species “goblins” not in database. Displaying grid location N32,E15.
Still more goblins. Well, I think we know who’s winning on the baby-making front…
Negative, physical statistics of species “goblins” not in database. Displaying grid location N25,E25.
Holy-- A CENTAUR???
Warning: Emotional index has exceeded safety parameters. Rebalancing now.
OH FOR -- *Ughan*
Negative, physical statistics of species “centaur” not in database. Displaying grid location N33,E15.
Computer.
Online.
Prepare a drop pod for launch.
Drop pod has already been prepared. Peak inclement weather conditions will be available at the colony site in 7 Solar Hours.
Time required for drop pod to make it to the surface?
5.3 Solar Hours.
Right. Better launch the pod now. Maybe we’ll get lucky and there’ll be a lightning strike early.
Drop pod away.
From the asteroid ship a small “flying saucer”–shaped object was ejected, falling towards the planet. Although it was inert, not all that large, and too far away to see without a telescope pointed at exactly the right place, the disk was still noticed by several of the humanoids on the ground below.
Shameless Plug: If you liked this chapter, why not try my other series as well?
http://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/2422