Nope. Noooooooooooope. I turned on my heels and ran, my feet slipping on the stone floor as they fought to get as much distance from me and the murder rat as quickly as possible. I rounded the corner and ran down the other passage, regretting my choice of clothes as the hem of my dresses flapped around and my dainty shoes fought for traction. Despite my better judgment I looked behind me and saw a blood soaked rat the size of a great dane bounding after me. It's soulless black eyes were an abyss, and like all abysses it was staring right back at me. I knew that if it caught me it would rip me apart and eat me for dessert.

I clamped my jaw shut, my scream turning into a whine as I turned another corner. If I ran, I could find a place to hide. If I could find a place to hide I could live. Unless it tracked me by scent. Or by the sounds of my breathing. Or caught me before I could lose it. I felt tears running down my face as I forced myself onwards, my lungs burning with exertion. I wish I was fitter. No, I wished I was safe in bed with a bottle of wine, ten pounds of chocolate and some company. I forced myself to keep moving. If I lived I could go home. Think of home, ignore the aching legs and wheezing, think of home. Another fork was coming up. If I could get to it before the rat did I might be able to lose it.

My hope was dashed as soon as it appeared. The stone I was running on seemed to give way beneath me. My ankle twisted at the unexpected footing, and I fell forwards hard onto my face. The rat had been right behind me. I scrambled, trying to get to my feet but it was no use. I closed my eyes as I heard the sickening splat of something sharp piercing through flesh. I waited for the pain to hit from the rats teeth tearing into my calf. And waited. And... waited?

Opening my eyes, I slowly turned around to see the last thing I expected. But a hairs length above me rusted spears jutted from the walls of the labyrinth. Further back the rat was impaled on more of them, twitching weakly as its innards tumbled out of its ruptured hide. I barely managed to turn back around beforew I threw up what was left of the fifty dollar steak dinner I'd had last night. I should be thankful. The rat that was chasing me was dead. My falling forward had me avoiding a deadly trap. I was alive, and for now at least safe. And yet...

I could have died. I would have died if it wasn't for a combination of dumb luck and clumsiness. My entire body shook as I slowly crawled forward, carefully avoiding my... outburst. The spears retracted as I moved off of what could only have been a pressure plate. I heard the rat corpse splat to the ground. I tried not to think of it. I continued crawling until I knew I was outside of the range of the spear trap, breathing heavily as I sat up just enough to hug my knees as I struggled for breath. I felt cold. I felt hot. There wasn't enough air. I was crying. I likely would have stayed there for some time if I hadn't been interrupted.

You have slain a Giant Rat!

You gained 2 Monster Essence! Those who have been chosen by the Gods must consume Monster Essence to maintain their abilities.

 "I HATE YOU!" I screamed, waving my arms through the window until it went away. Before immediately clasping my hands to my mouth and whimpering as I realized that I was screaming again. After a few moments of not hearing anymore chittering I slumped in relief. No more rats were attracted by my cries. I couldn't panic. I couldn't stop. This labyrinth was dangerous. I'd seen that firsthand. If I didn't stop moving, if I didn't get out of here, how long would it took for another rat to stumble by? Or a minotaur? Those lived in labyrinth's right? There could be one patrolling the corridors. Looking for a victim. I-I couldn't stay here. No matter how much I hated walking into more danger staying here waiting for it was so much worse.

Struggling to my feet, I put a hand to the wall to steady myself and stepped forward. I turned right at the next fork. This was no longer about navigating a maze. Danger could be anywhere. I was better off risking getting lost and maybe getting out of the maze sooner than following the left wall and definitely staying in here longer than I could survive. When I did come across danger I stopped, turned around and went back to find another fork. The walls looked like they were covered in oil? Turn back, it's probably a trap. There are grinding sounds and grunting coming from around the corner? Take the other path. I see a fountain with what looked like a giant black dog wearing a skull resting at its base? Go back before it sees me. I come across a corridor filled with whirring buzz saws that had visible bolt of electricity coming off of them? Haha no! This worked for a while, until I came across a problem I really should have expected.

"...really?" I asked, frowning down at the half eaten rat corpse. I'd been hoping that this would be a new passageway. Instead it looped right back around to the entrance. Which meant that I now knew every part of this little section of the maze. This was not a good thing. One path was blocked by an oil trap of some kind. Another by the grinding sound. Passage after passage I'd slowly, carefully scouted out. And every single one of them had something I wanted to avoid. There was no safe path. The labyrinth was designed to force me to confront at least some of its dangers. Which was completely unfair! If I knew I'd have to fight something I wouldn't have picked a coin pouch for my item! I would have chosen the... I frowned in though. Was there anything in that room I could have used that I wouldn't have impaled myself on trying to swing it? Probably not. That was depressing.

I sat down on the floor to think. Then shuffled back a bit when I picked up the rancid scent of the rat corpse. Think. I needed to confront something to get through. Could I lure a monster into a trap? No, it had been pure dumb luck I hadn't died to those spears. I didn't trust myself not to screw it up and get hurt if I tried to pull that off again. Not to mention I'd need to outrun the monster in question. I'd managed to do that with the rat for a while yes. Something like that death dog though would catch me in an instant. Thankfully no matter what path I chose I wouldn't need to confront it. The passage had clearly been a dead-end, with nothing but the fountain and the dog there. I was guessing it was some kind of magical water, or there was treasure inside of it. As much as I loved money my life was far more important. It was a shame. It looked like it would have to be an impressive treasure. The fountain alone had been very tasteful, and taller than-

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I shot upright. No. There was no way that could work. Was there? I may have been in a labyrinth with monsters and stats and magical treasures, but this was still real life and not some videogame. I couldn't think of a reason this wouldn't work if I were back in the world I knew that wasn't actively trying to kill me. Which meant it should work here too. Assuming I didn't die. That was the real problem. I'd need a weapon of some kind. No, that was still stupid. I didn't want to fight. So if not a weapon then maybe a distraction? Or bait? But where was I going to...

"Oh god what was I thinking," I gagged as I dragged the rat along the floor by the tail. A trail of red blood and yellow pus trailed from behind it. It was already starting to stink. I was starting to think the dress had been the right choice after all. If I had to do this without gloves on I'd need to chop my hands off afterwards. A left here. Right there. Soon enough I was once again at the dead end corridor ending in a small room. The bone dog paced restlessly, making odd clicking noises with its teeth and tongue. The fountain towered over us, a multi-tiered white marble water feature decorated with statues of beautiful women in a vaguely Greek style. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Then had to suppress a gag. Right. Rotting corpse. Maybe skip the breathing exercises. Instead I gathered my courage, before tossing the corpse of the rat into the room as far as I could to the side.

It didn't go very far. I was still holding the body with its tail, and I didn't dare swing it around too much for risk of the tail ripping off or getting blood and guts all over me. The distance wasn't nearly as important as the direction though, which thankfully worked out just fine. The rat hit the sidewall and squelched down onto the floor. The dog with a questionable head accessory's ears perked up, darting to the sound and seeing a feast for the taking. It ran over without a second thought, its maw opening and closing around the body to rip apart its rancid flesh. I wouldn't get a better chance.

Every part of me was begging me to sprint. To try and get to the fountain as quickly as possible. I'd learned my lesson from the rat though. Making a bunch of noise would draw the masquerade dog's attention. There was no way I could outrun it, even over such a short distance while it was distracted. Instead I slipped into the room, back to the wall as I slowly shuffled my way across. I kept as much distance between myself and the dog as possible in case it turned around and I had to make a break for it. It turned out to be unnecessary though. The beast was clearly starving as it tore into the meal. I wondered who fed it? Did anyone? ...Rosa, do not feel bad for the midget spawn of the big bad wolf and the Grim Reaper. It would eat you in a second if it could. It's only regret would be that it didn't have any ketchup. I took shallow breaths as I finally arrived at the fountain itself. I sighed in relief, clambering up the side and stepping into the lowest basin. Which was much more shallow than I thought. A brief surge of fear shot through me as my foot crashed with my force than I'd intended, causing a small splash to erupt under my foot.

My eyes shot to the dog. The dog's eyes shot to me. There was a brief moment where we were both frozen in time. Then the monster barked in rage, tossing the corpse to the side as it scrambled to turn around. The sound startled me into action,  discarding stealth entirely as I ran through the water and hefted myself up to the second basin. The beast roared as it ran forward, slamming into the fountain with enough force that I stumbled climbing up on of the statues even though it was firmly set into the floor. The dog didn't take nearly as long to get to the first basin as I had, nor the second. It wasn't designed for climbing, but it was so fast and big that it was soon snipping at my heels even as I neared the top. Then it was no longer simply nipping.

"GAH!" Oh god it was biting me it had its teeth in my leg it was squeezing OH GOD IT HURTS! The beast pulled, and I felt my grip on the stone loosen from the sheer force of the moment. "Nononononono!" I babbled, my other foot stomping down onto the monster's snout again and again. The beast growled in displeasure, opening its mouth to bark. I took the chance to yank my leg out of its maw and haul myself up to the top of the fountain. The dog roared, scrambling to catch up. I didn't have any more time. With one deep breath I jumped as far as I could, flying through the air as I soared away from the fountain. And crashed chest first into the top of the labyrinth wall.

The pain of my tits bashing into the stone almost stunned me. Thankfully being in a life or death struggle with the world's strangest pet breeding experiment was more than a little bit motivating and I pushed through the pain to clasp onto the edge of the wall. I pushed myself upwards, my entire body straining with the effort as I forced myself up onto the top of the wall. I panted as I sprawled over the top of it, the wall so narrow that my arms and legs hung over the edge of each side. It was wide enough to hold me though. Which meant I could just crawl my way through the labyrinth on top of the wall and avoid any more traps or monsters. I was feeling really good about myself.

Yeah, reality wasn't going to let that last long.

The hound roared as it leapt from the fountain after me, soaring through the air as it's jaws snapped in anticipation. Its jump was a lot better than mine was. It would land right on top of me rather than having to scramble up. When it did I'd either be crushed and clawed to death, or fall down to where it could kill me at its leisure. In otherwords I'd be dead meat. But... it was in mid-air. Maybe I could...

My idea was stupid, reckless and probably worse than doing nothing at all. So of course it worked. The moment the dog was about to land I pushed up on the wall, getting to my hands and knees fast enough my back slammed into the dog's hind legs. My movement cause the dog to tilt forward. More importantly it change the course of its flight. Where before it would have landed right on top of me, now it stumbled over my body before landing on the far side of the wall. I sighed in relief as I collapsed back onto the wall, my wobbly arms and legs too weak and pained to hold me. Without the fountain on its side the dog was utterly impotent to deal with me. It barked, and jumped, scratching at the wall with pure hatred in its eyes.

I flipped it the bird.

The monster gave one more impotent snarl before running off. Most likely finding a way back to the fountain room so it could try again. No time to rest then. I needed to be gone by the time I got back. With a great deal of effort I pushed myself forward along the wall like the worlds least graceful turtle. I hoped that if I was gone by the time the dog got back it would go back to the guarding the fountain and ignore me. I doubted it though. That beast clearly held a grudge, and would try to hunt me down. I shuddered at the thought. I needed to get to the exit as quickly as possible. Or find a weapon. Because nothing, NOTHING would stop that predator from chasing their-

You have slain a Labyrinth Hound!

You gained 5 Monster Essence!

Never mind. It must have fallen for one of the traps. When I think about it the really surprising thing about all of this wasn't that I was in a labyrinth full of monsters and traps. I was that any of the monsters were still alive when they had to live here.