Mahnu could not remember getting here to the King’s residence in Bena, as she had slept a lot the day before. Her dreams and memories had started to flood into her since her nightmare on the carriage ride on the way here.
But, apparently, a doctor had treated her already and that he was coming back for the second time.
He checked her pulse and breathing. Her temperature had fallen slightly, and he was giving her a rich dose of cold medicine.
"Ah, Sir. I don't think that I have a cold."
The doctor looked at her and sighed, "To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure. Your temperature seems to be the only thing wrong. Your pulse doesn't indicate any other problems and your breathing seems to be normal. It is peculiar."
Mahnu could probably understand the doctor’s questionable gaze. Her memories coming back from a thousand years most likely wasn’t something that happened a lot and would probably do something to her body.
Instead, Mahnu smiled and said, "Then I would prefer against taking medicine."
The doctor looked worried. "But...The King."
"It is okay. You have done well. I will say that to the King."
"Yes...Your High..."
"Stop! Don't say that...I am Mahnu."
The doctor looked at her astonished, "But the King had said that you were his..."
Mahnu sighed heavily.
"Yes...Mah...Mahnu. I will take my leave."
After the doctor departed, Mahnu got out of bed and slowly walked towards the window. Her head still ached, and she felt a little dizzy, but she guessed it would all go back to normal again soon, since all her memories had returned. Mahnu sat down on the edge, peering out onto the street. The sufferings weren't with her, silently she hoped that they would not return. But, sometimes, she is able to hear thoughts, in which was becoming more often.
Watching a child run away from other children and a few adults doing their own thing, outside of the window, Mahnu got lost into her thoughts.
She put into perspective of what she had paid for the box for two God's. At first it was nearly everything, even her existence had been in danger. But, for quite some time, all she was, was mortal…
Just like every other human, she had to drink water and eat food. If she didn’t eat or drink, she would become weak and faint. She has also seen a change in her appearance, like time no longer stood still for her looks. It was pretty much conclusive that she was no longer an immortal…
Yet, in the past few days, she had regained her memories and was able to hear other’s thoughts again…Perhaps…
Mahnu wondered if she had even become immortal again now…
Picking up a knife, Mahnu went to a candle and lit it. Putting the knife through the fire, she heard someone walk into the room.
"Mahnu? What are you doing?"
It was William.
Mahnu wasn't surprised, knowing already that William would have been watching her like a hawk. Ever since he found her at Brackan, he's rarely left her side.
Remembering that boy who had followed her with silent questions and did everything he was told, she still valued this person, so she decided to answer him.
"I am getting an answer." Mahnu said, as she slightly sliced her arm. It made her cringe to the pain, but now that she had her memories back, she felt like it was something small and harmless…Even though blood started to trickle down from her arm…
William rushed towards her, putting his grip over the cut and looking for material to put over it.
"Wait. Please. I just need to see..."
…If it will heal, she thought.
She removed his hand and blood seemed to be still flowing from the cut. From the past, something as small as this would heal in no time…Yet…It was still bleeding…
Just in case she might be wrong, and that it may take longer because she was just regaining what she used to have, she gave the wound another minute or two, but…If anything, it looked worse then before, blood not coming to any kind of halt.
She looked at William, who had a piece of material now and put her arm out for him to strap it.
"Why did you do that?" He asked.
Mahnu looked on, as he continued to press the material to her wound, "I wanted to know if it would heal. My memories have been restored. I am starting to hear other’s thoughts again...Wouldn't you be just as eager, as I, to know if I could heal or not?"
He sighed, "No. I will get scolded now that you've been hurt."
Mahnu found it stupid that someone else should get punished for what she did herself, "I will protect you."
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"Mahnu!" He said, irritated. "You do not need to protect me or anyone else anymore! It's time for you to relax. You have done enough!"
Mahnu sighed, feeling irritated to this predicament. For her own actions, someone else getting hurt, then for them to feel like they owe her this? And now…That person was angry at her!?
Humans were strange…
All Mahnu could say was, "I am sorry for making you angry."
William let out a deep breath and went back to the door. "I'm not angry. But...Let us protect you now."
He went back to his post without looking back, leaving behind Mahnu who had more questions than she did before…
Mahnu was conflicted.
She didn't know any other way.
For two years, she had lived without being a God, but she had hardly been herself and it doesn't even come close to the habit she had for over a thousand years!
What...Do I do with my existence now? What am I supposed to do?
Taking the strapped material around her arm off, she saw that it still hadn't healed.
Well it's confirmed, I'm still mortal.
For some reason, she didn’t know whether this was a good or bad thing.
Already knowing the advantages of being a God…Mahnu was now seeing the disadvantages of being a human.
Food and water were a big problem already! Now, she wasn’t healing!
At this moment, if she were to choose between human or God, she would choose God…Yet…This also brought her back into her memories when she had wanted to sleep for eternity…God’s couldn’t be killed, yet human’s…
Leaning in the opposite direction now, thinking that being a human might be better then a God, Mahnu felt even more conflicted…
William suddenly took her arm forcefully and silently strapped it again. She hadn't even realized he had come back into the room again.
Do you want to be immortal again? Do you miss it? His thoughts made her wonder.
"I don't know..."
When William finished, he left again. Guess I can't blame her for being confused, he thought.
Mahnu walked towards the door and leaned on the frame. "I will try and not be a bother to you. But will you do me a favour?"
William turned to her willingly, "What would you like, Your..."
"Stop!" Mahnu was not in the mood to be called, 'Your Highness.' It was just a stupid title. She much preferred her own name.
"My name is Mahnu, William! You will not call me otherwise! Do you understand?"
William was taken aback...Is this how the doctor had felt like just before!
Seeing William shocked, Mahnu sighed.
Standing up straighter, William collected himself, "Yes, Mahnu. How can I help you?"
Cringing, Mahnu got up her courage and finally said, "…Please bring me some food."
Never…Never had she asked anybody for food!
She felt…Embarrassed…Useless!
Someone like her, who would travel for weeks to bring back food for others, yet here she was relying upon someone to give her some…
Completely embarrassing!
"…Food?" William asked in complete shock again!
Mahnu, lifted her face, trying not to give away her own shock, "Yes, I'm hungry!"
She was still being reminded to eat and drink often, yet now, she felt the urge to eat!
I suppose two years of having to eat and drink finally started to become a habit!
After a short, stunned, silence, he answered, "Straight away, I will do as you ask...Is there a preference to something you would like?"
Mahnu shook her head slowly, "No, not really."
"Right. I will return shortly."
Mahnu sighed again and smiled. Putting on another coat of clothing, she stepped outside the door.
She didn't have any intention to run away, instead, Mahnu walked towards a nearby garden. It wasn't big, only three different flowers and a small hedge but she felt a little more freedom.
…Now that she remembers who she is, it was like she had awoken for the second time.
There seemed to be some things she had to talk to Richard about! One was the title that she wasn't going to repeat inside of her head again. Her name had rarely ever been spoken as it was!
Is it wrong to like having people call me by my name?
Mahnu sat on the garden side chair and watched mindlessly as a butterfly fluttered by.
I'm not a weak little thing to cage up either.
For the second time, she missed her Godly strength that would let her jump from tree to rooftop! First, she wasn’t able to pick up a tree anymore, now she wasn’t able to wonder off by jumping anymore!
It really was a sighing matter, as Mahnu could find the beauty of both worlds…Yet, now she didn’t quite fit into any of them.
She wasn’t quite human, nor was she a God…Either way, she was starting to feel like she now had rules that she had to follow by. For most of her existence, she had set her own rules, she had been at her own pace…Now, she had a residence…
A residence in a town that she could probably see her stuck to now because of Richard.
It wasn’t like she was complaining about her lovable man, as she really didn’t like being apart from him, but…
I...Don't want to be stranded in a palace…
Mahnu sighed and closed her eyes, knowing all too well that Richard will want to keep her beside him.
It's not like I want to leave him, but...
Mahnu looked around and found herself feeling boxed in.
Putting her feet onto the chair, she hugged her knees and put her head down.
What do I want to do now? She asked herself honestly.
Without the sufferings leading her life now, all she had was Richard.
He definitely makes me happy but why do I feel like I'm an unfinished puzzle?
"Mahnu?"
William's voice startled her, and she saw that he had brought a plate full of food. "Thank you."
The plate had a few fruits, then some vegetables and then some cakes and pastries…
William stared at her and asked, "I wasn’t sure what you wanted to eat, so I got…Are you...Crying?"
Mahnu was startled again. She had rarely ever cried in her entire existence and now it seemed to happen a lot more regularly.
Wiping at her eyes, she hurriedly said, "No!"
William nodded to her but didn't leave. He watched her pick up some food and eat it.
Mahnu...His thoughts again, are you perhaps...Pregnant?
Mahnu looked up at him in shock, dropping her food. "Why would you think that!?"
William took a moment to collect himself, and said, "Oh, you had never asked for food before now and I've never seen you cry so much."
"How does..."
How does that mean that she’s pregnant!?
Mahnu tried to think back to see if she understood the symptoms, by the other women that she may have heard the thoughts of in the past, but she was unsure.
He looked away, "Uh! It's nothing...The doctor would have known if you were pregnant and he never said such a thing. So, forget what I said."
Mahnu was silent for a moment and nodded. "Okay."
William wondered if the doctor had got it wrong but Mahnu interrupted further thoughts, by saying, "Enough William! Go far away now, please."
He put his head down and walked away.
Being alone, Mahnu picked at the food in front of her in silence. Well, it might have been silent, but her mind was wondering off…
She had way too much to think about all of a sudden and she felt dizzy!
She wanted to find out why she felt like an unfinished puzzle. Also, she didn't want to depend on Richard.
…But the more she thought about it, the more confused she became.
Sighing, Mahnu tried to make her thoughts simpler.
What is it that I want to do?
Well, I used to help the humans, do I intend to continue doing so?
Mahnu admitted that there were still things left to do, to finish what she had started. The tablet...Mahnu nodded to herself. The tablet needed to be found!
But...She wasn't a God anymore. Her strength is only that of a female human...She remembers what the monk had taught her centuries ago but doing those actions now would be different, she was sure of it. Nonetheless, the tablet seemed to fill up an empty spot in her heart and she already felt happier!
Feeling herself slowly become renewed, that she had found a purpose, she continued to wonder how to get strength...To help her finish what she had started…
***