“What is the greatest curse of civilization? Is it Oppression? Disease? War? No, the greatest curse upon civilizations is the birth and growth of bureaucracy.”
-Philosopher Kyne in his debut treatise.
Seventh day of the first week of Autumn. Eleventh bell of the night…
The Man in Black was nearing the end of his daily reports. He had been saving the best one for last, intentionally moving it to the bottom.
Civil unrest, boring and easily dealt with, a massacre of a mercenary troupe at a travelling inn discovered this morning, noteworthy, he would send an agent to investigate further.
Next, boring, next, stupidity packaged, next, too easy.
He carefully finished reading the second last report and bound the manila folder back up, it had been on the complaints by the north eastern kingdom of Bailash over the continued increase in the grain prices they imported from Darish, another boring one.
The Bailashians were always complaining about something, a good argument was merely natural conversation to them, it was how they kept warm up amongst all the snow and ice up there.
The Man in Black opened the last file and the corners of his mouth moved ever so slightly upwards, this case truly did not disappoint.
Miss Bright had turned up, looking quite different than a day ago and having a bit of an adventure.
‘And my oh my how busy you've been’ He observed
The Man in Black's smile grew as he immersed himself in the report.
He read it twice, for once in a long time not relying on his photographic memory, finally he closed the folder with a tiny exhalation of breath.
“The implications of this when considering the current players are… disturbing.”
A rare sentence escaped from his lips as his fingers absentmindedly tapped the closed folder.
“I shall have to make certain..preparations.”
……………..
First day of the second week of Autumn. Morning…
Guppy awoke with the 5th morning bell, her internal body clock still consistent after years of repetition.
Once more she disentangled herself from Stalia, happily noting that Stalia's expression was far more peaceful this morning.
Moving over to the mirror she looked into it once more, pinching her cheek to again make sure that this wasn't a fanciful dream she had after drinking some murgoat milk before bed.
She sat there for a few minutes braiding her silver-white hair back into a loose fishtail braid to keep it out of her face, it was also easier to conceal under a hood this way.
She touched her pointed ears, they were more obvious now that her hair was tied back.
They seemed as real as yesterday and hurt when she twisted the tips.
Her canines were still prominent, and sharp, as the trickle of blood from her lip biting attested, she would have to be careful with that habit from now on, the wounded lip healed quickly though, the small gash disappearing in a merely a minute.
Even her regular teeth were slightly pointier and sharper than she could recall, although less so than her canines.
She took in her reflection in it’s many new facets, gazing into the mirror for a while.
‘I suppose I don't look all that bad’ She thought, ‘I'm not a monster, just a bit different to normal I guess’
The sixth bell snapped her out of her thoughts, reminding her that time waited for no one.
Slapping her cheeks she pumped herself up for the day ahead, then turned to her still slumbering siblings.
She woke them both up successfully, her techniques honed from years of practise and helped them get ready for the day.
“Stalia, please take Kyle to the gate again this morning, I need to go get my description and affairs fixed at the city hall before they will reissue my gate pass, Kyle you remember the way to master Mithrilsmith from the gate right?”
Guppy tried unsuccessfully to smooth and neaten Kyle's curly hair, she failed.
“Yes Guppy,” Kyle responded before accepting the wrapped up corner of bread that she shoved into his hands.
“We'll have a feast tonight Kyle.” Guppy promised. “Just you wait. Stalia how's your work shift looking?”
Stalia's face distorted briefly. “Double shift I'm afraid, I had another girl cover a shift for me last week and today I have to cover for her, I'll only be back after the ninth bell in all likelihood. Don't worry about dinner for me I'll get some food from the kitchen”
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“Get Rade from work to walk you home once you're done, he'll keep you safe and get you here.” Guppy advised.
“Mmhmm” Mumbled Stalia noncommittally as she scampered out the door with Kyle in tow.
With the apartment to herself Guppy turned to look at the golden tree still sitting in their pot, well she could neither take it with her like that, nor leave it out in the open for any burglar to find.
After pondering for a moment she carefully hid the golden tree by popping up a few planks from the floor, digging a hole into the ground, then carefully lowering the tree in before replacing the floor boards once more.
With greater peace of mind Guppy finished getting herself presentable and headed out onto the busy streets.
Her destination was not the large central city hall that was located near the palace in the nobles district, while it was a grand looking building it catered only to the nobility and wealthy, not a commoner like herself, she had only ever caught glimpses of it before when she was out on deliveries.
Her destination instead was a branch office located far closer, in fact after just a quarter bell's walk she could already see it.
The commoners district hall was a far less ostentatious building, laying rather squat and misshapen at the end of a market plaza, and quite predictably it was packed full of yelling, anxious, bored, angry, crying, and rather hopeless looking people.
Guppy smiled, the line wasn't even out the door yet, getting ready and leaving early had been worth it, it should only take about three unpleasant hours to finish her re-registration, leaving plenty of time to head to the auction house afterwards.
Guppy hurried onwards to join the line that grew even as she watched.
…………
Four hours later…
Guppy marched out of the city hall triumphantly with a shiny new identity plaque in hand.
She had joined and stood in the queue and let her mind slowly numb to the screeching babies, the irate yelling of citizens at counter staff, and the unpleasant odors of those around her.
An entrepreneuring peddler entertained her for a time as he tried to sell her a mystery meat pie which she refused as she could neither buy it, nor tolerate the inevitable diarrhea that would follow.
Several times she had to slap away wandering or curious hands, all while the stifling heat of too many people in far too close a proximity gradually smothered her.
Finally she got to the front of the ticket queue.
There Guppy received a paper ticket that had the number six hundred and twenty-two stamped on it, she looked up at the overhead service ticker which read ‘Now serving ticket number 94’
Jolly joy on a crumpet.
Guppy moved to join the queue for citizen identification and registrations, letting her mind erode in nothing but the occasional shuffle step forward every once in a while when a gap opened between her and the person in front.
As time progressed her thoughts drifted freely and in strange directions.
‘Maybe the last couple days have just been a dream, maybe I actually died in the blast, and this is the hell those religions always go on about, nothing but a long queue that never ends, teasing you with the possibility of release with a ticket number, only to have you join another queue, then another…’
‘Until they send you back to the first queue, then the second, in one eternal hellishly bureaucratic torment.’
Guppy's existential crisis and sudden onset of religious fervor abruptly came to an end when she heard “Next” and realized it was finally her turn, she slapped her cheeks to wake her brain from its stupor and hurried toward the counter.
“Reason for visit” An extremely tired looking Calgaree asked her.
“Identity Plaque update” Guppy replied as she handed over her old plaque.
The clerk skimmed over the information engraved on the plaque before making rapid eye movements between it and her.
“You look nothing like Gupalagia Esme Bright at all, any birthmarks, wounds or hereditary proof?”.
“No” Guppy quietly answered, any she had disappeared when she was changed by Batty.
The clerks’ whiskers twitched in annoyance.
“Then the application is rejected, NE..” started the clerk.
“Wait!” interrupted Guppy, “I have a letter from my sister to serve as proof.”
She hastily pulled out a letter that Stalia had written last night and proffered it to the clerk.
He skimmed over it reading rapidly with practised ease.
“One moment please, I need to check that this citizen number and signature match our database.”
Thirty minutes later…
The clerk returned with a shiny new copper plaque, engraved with details of Guppy's new appearance.
“It all checks out. What happened to you? If you don't mind me asking.” he asked
“Pissed off a wizard, so he changed my entire appearance as payback, it was a painful experience”
Guppy smoothly sprouted the explanation she had come up with, just remembering the explosion planted a convincingly harrowed look on her face.
The Calgaree's nose wrinkled. “Yes that would do it. Here you go, make sure to look after it, you only get one free replacement every ten years.
Guppy accepted it gratefully, thanked the clerk, and elbowed her way to the exit as fast as could without causing anyone actual bodily harm.
Bursting out the entrance doors Guppy took a deep breath, relishing the comparatively fresh and clean air outside, it was still pretty bad if she was honest, but inside the city hall her olfactory organs had full on shut down in protest to the sensory overload.
Her auditory senses had almost followed suit.
After stretching her muscles to relieve their stiffness she started walking to the commoners shopping district, her destination, the hat shop.
Once there she ignored the fancy hats on display and instead approached the service counter and asked the store keeper for an old hat box.
Thankfully the clerk was a nice young man who quickly succumbed when she fluttered her eyelashes and asked really~ nicely, he even included some Balicog wool to help pack ‘her fragile heirloom vase’.
Guppy supposed her new looks did come with some perks after all.
With her current tasks completed she made her way home, her footsteps swift in excitement.
Approaching her door she looked around before entering, she had felt eyes on her as she strode down the street and wanted to know who held such an interest in her.
She spotted a couple of beggars at either end of the street, lazily observing her, when her gaze met theirs they blatantly kept staring for a while longer before looking away in boredom.
‘Stop being paranoid Guppy’ she remonstrated.
‘They're watching the street, you just happen to be the most interesting thing currently on it ’.
Nonetheless once inside she latched the door and quickly popped up the covering floorboards, confirming with a relieved sigh that the tree was still there
She retrieved the golden tree and carefully placed it into the hat box, then used the Balicog wool to pack it securely around the sides.
She stuck the lid back on and re-tied the brown string around the box before standing back to observe her handiwork.
Guppy nodded in satisfaction, although she would have to hold the base carefully to support the weight, with her strength and its outward appearance she would look just like an eager young lady after the purchase of a new hat.
“Next up Avarice's Descent!” Guppy cheered, her face breaking into a grin in excitement.