I rush quickly to the bathroom in search of a towel, small cloth, anything that I can dampen to properly clean the blood from my face and hands. That’s hard to do when I can’t stop hacking up blood. My feet stumble over the stone floor before I manage to find cloth to dip in the bucket nearby to clean myself. It’s just my luck that the one the King and his wife intend to stop by to see my parents, I’m covered in my own blood.

“Runia!”

Mother is calling me, but I can barely answer with the condition I’m in. Still, I try my best until her form fills the entry way.

“There you are. Oh dear, let’s get you cleaned up and in bed. I’ll make you some tea and soup to ease your throat.”

More than anything I want to protest, but I know that’s a battle I won’t win. She helps me to my feet. With her support I manage to get to my room without fail. The muscles in my body tense as I climb back into bed.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I just wish we had the resources to get you medicine at least.”

My head lowers. She always worries about me and a part of me hates that she has to. A quick once over of me before she exits tells me she‘ll probably spend the day by my side.

“Ru?”

I glance at the entryway. There stands my sister concern fills her eyes and dances in the air around her.

“Mayline, I’m fine.”

“You’re not. Even your skin is paler. Are you cold? I can get you another blanket. I’m sure Arvise won’t mind.”

“I won’t mind what?”

“Let Ru use one of your extra blankets.”

“Ru, you cold?”

“I’m fine…”

“Ru…”

“I’ll get it any way. You look cold. Plus I’ve got plenty of blankets.”

Arvise vanishes down the hall, amber tresses dance just above his shoulders as he moves. Mayline goes to the window and opens it, sunlight pours into the room almost bleaching her hair. It’s the gasp that leaves her lips that draws attention.

“They’re here.”

“May, go, I’ll be out in a minute. Hurry before mom has a fit.”

“But…”

“Go on, I’ll be right there.”

Nodding her head she rushes out. Arvise takes time adding the extra blanket.

“You should go too.”

“I will after I make sure my sister is warm. And is aware that she’s loved very much. I know how much you hate being trapped in bed. Especially with dad away at work for long periods of time. Mom doing household chores and MAy pitching in after school. It makes you lonely. So, I decided I’ll stay home to look after you.”

“But…”

“No buts, Ru. It’s my decision and I would much rather spend as much time as possible with my family. Especially, my sister.”

“Thank you…”

“You’re family. Now rest up. I’ll see if mom finished the tea for you.”

He kisses the top of my head and follows the same path as May and our mother, sighing I turn my attention to the open window where I can see horses. One of which sticks its head in my window. The animal eyes me curiously, even looking around my room. Slowly, I force myself from the bed and go to the window. Instantly the horse lowers its head to allow me to touch it.

“You’re so beautiful…”

“I’m sure she thinks the same of you.”

Startled, I spin around at the sound of the voice, almost losing my balance in the process. Both the king and his wife are watching me with awe.

“Y-your majesties, you didn’t have to.”

“Now, what purpose would it serve to not even look in on the ill of my civilians?”

A furious flush takes over my face.

“S-still…but thank you.”

They both seem at ease. The Queen quietly walking in to explore the tiny space. Her gown drags across the floor and she doesn’t so much as bat an eye. Her hands delicately pick up various decorations on my dresser before gently placing them back down.

“We were told your illness is terminal. At least if left untreated.”

“Yes,Ma’am.”

“Surprised she’s lived this long. The rooms small and doesn’t even look as though it’s ever been dusted out. Makes one wonder if they’re trying to speed up the process.”

The Queen frowns bright brown eyes falling on a figure beside the King. Her hand falls to her hip, a single eyebrow raised on her mocha face.

“Darling, I don’t think your pet is house trained. Maybe it is best if he returns to the castle.”

“Forgive me, my lady, it seems I’ve spoken incorrectly. It was not meant to offend. I’m merely pointing out my observation.”

He appears unbothered by the Queen’s words as he doesn’t even bat an eyelash. Simply smiles and continues to observe. I’m curious as to who he is,but before I can ask my coughing starts up again. Doing my best I go to my bed, gripping the side for support.

“May, bring a towel and some warm water please! Excuse me, your majesty. Ru,I’ve brought you some tea.”

Something is set on the small table beside the bed before I feel my brother helping me under the covers.

“Is she okay?”

“For the most part, yes. Some days are better than others. Then there are days like today where she forces herself to try and function without coughing. We do the best we can with what we have.”

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May steps in the room quietly, both our parents behind her. She looks incredibly upset. Arvise barely glances at them, something in his demeanor changing entirely. Something is wrong and I’m afraid to find out exactly what it is. Everyone is quiet, a heavy tension dancing angrily in the air. It’s the look on the Queen’s face along with my confusion that finally musters an answer out of anyone.

“Runia, what would you say to moving somewhere much healthier for you? Somewhere where the air is easier on your lungs.”

“It’s a bit much to move all of us, just because of me.”

“It would only be you.”

“Why?”

“Because according to father it’s what’s best for all of us. And in his words. You’ve been too much of a burden.”

The eyes of the male beside the king narrow to slits. It’s the first expression I’ve seen him make. Even the king and his wife look appalled that such a thing had been said. I’ve not been touched but my skin burns as if I’ve been slapped across the face. There’s a part of me that can’t comprehend what’s going on. Confusion plays an endless game of tag with my thoughts.

“You said such a thing of a child you’ve had for nearly her entire life? She’s grown up around your children and yet you do not see her as one of your own.”

“They came before her. They are my priority, as much as I wish I could do more for her I cannot. Not at the risk of losing my own.”

“Then maybe you should have left her where you found her. If I am correct, you were warned that her condition was terminal.”

“It wasn’t expected that she would live this long.”

“I think the decision should be left to her. After all it’s her life. If I may, your best bet would be to not stay here. Especially at the risk of being uncomfortable. In your current state the stress would kill you in a matter of days.”

“Should’ve left him in the castle. Although he makes a fair point. The tension from today isn’t just going to go away and for your health it would be best to not stay here.”

“Where would I even go…as far as I know I’m not eve from here.”

“Something has already been sorted out. The decision is up to you. I suggest you make up your mind before nightfall.”

One by one they exit, excluding Arvise. Sad eyes bore into me, but I don’t even want to look at him. His presence makes everything so much more painful. There’s even a moment where he reaches out to grab my hand, but the simplicity of pulling it away says more than needs to be. His withdrawal steps fade behind the closed door. Not long after there’s shouting. Considering everyone is shouting all at once at the top of their lungs, I can’t make anything out. The open window pulls my attention back to it. Peace and quiet aren’t far. With enough resolve I climb from the bed, walk to the window, and quietly climb out of it. My feet dangle briefly and then gently drop onto the sand. The path I walk takes me behind several little shops, through a dry patch of hilly grass, and out to the river. It’s harder to breathe after maneuvering the hill, yet the view makes it so worthwhile. That and I can hear the gears in my brain slow down and process. Having been here since about four it never occurred to me that my presence was bothersome. Not after being here for so long.

Wildflowers decorate the embankment, bluebells, daisies, tulips, lilacs, and even lavender. Parts of the river are shallow enough to walk through.clear water makes it possible to see all the fish that pass through the area to new destinations. A few cities over there’s the ocean. It’s the one place I’ve wanted to visit, but there’s never been a proper time. Frowning and with muddied feet, I step into the water. Silently wishing it would carry me away, or even drown me. Instead, I’m pulled back by the collar of my top and dropped onto the ground. A horse huffing behind me. It gently nudges my shoulder with it’s head, before lying beside me and resting its head in my lap. The sun dances on a black coat. One brown eye watches me intently. Everything beneath my fingers is soft, mane included. Somehow this animal takes away all my sadness away. That doesn’t stop the flow from my eyes, the ache in my heart or even the urge to bury my face in its mane. It’s not nightfall yet, but I’m not ready to make a decision that could change my life forever.

Subsiding emotions leave me coughing and struggling to breathe. Unable to even calm myself to stop the fit. Blood coats my hands as I move away from the gentle animal beside me. Soon enough it’s all over my lap. Every bone in my body rattles like a child is shaking me for amusement. Throat and chest ache with a weight I’ve never felt before. If screaming were possible id do that, but my eyes won’t even remain open. Spinning, all at once, that’s what it feels like it. The very bone meant to hold me in a sitting position can no longer withstand my weight. Finding myself lying in mud and flowers by running water. Oxygen is thinner no matter how hard I try. I won’t survive at this rate. It’s never been this bad. Why now? Am I finally dying?