The sun was setting as I made it home. I closed the door to my house, taking off my shoes as I headed for my bedroom.

“Xara? Is that you sweetie?” I heard Mother call out.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“You’re home early,” she said as she walked in from the kitchen. “I thought you and Kiuyk would be spending a few hours out in the city.”

“I just…” I sighed. “I wasn’t feeling great after the interview.”

Mother’s face became concerned. “Did it not go well? The interview?”

“I…maybe not as well as I had hoped, but probably about as well as I should have expected.”

Her brow furrowed. “And what does that mean?”

“I just…can I go sleep for a bit? Please.”

Mother clearly wanted to pester me further, but her face softened as she nodded. “Okay, dear. Would you like something to eat?”

“No. Thank you though.”

I turned away and went upstairs. Entering my bedroom I hung my cloak on the hook by the door and sat on my bed.

‘It may not be how I expected it to go, but I guess I’m a paladin now. Or at least, I will be once I complete the training.’

That’s what I told myself, but I couldn’t shake this strange tension in my chest.

‘Maybe it’s an after-effect of…of…’

I shivered as I recalled what nearly happened at the academy. I had known that prolonged contact between two people’s auras could feel strange and sometimes uncomfortable, but Commander Laqbeka’s aura had been so cold and reached so deep into my body. Even now I couldn’t shake the feeling of ice seeping into my bones.

Worse still was the knowledge of what would have happened if I hadn’t spoken up when I did.

‘How is that even possible? To strip someone of their very aura. To cripple them like that…’

I slowly realized that this was the sticking point for me. That I had just been essentially threatened into becoming a paladin.

‘If they didn’t…would I have agreed?’

As soon as the thought appeared I shook my head. “What am I thinking? Of course, I would have.”

It was true that I still had my doubts, but these ideas only popped up recently.

‘It’s because of that execution. Seeing that man- no that heretic die is messing with my head.’

I looked out the window. The last beams of sunlight were streaking across the city.

“This special training will be good for me. Get these weird ideas out of my head.”

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I reached for my sleep mask but decided against it.

“I’ll let the sun wake me up in a few hours,” I said as I lay down, resting my head on the well-worn pillow and closing my eyes.

~~~

After almost three restless hours I slowly climbed out of bed. The sun still wasn’t up but I knew Mother would be making dinner soon, so I figured I should go help her. I felt a little better, although thinking back to the interview still filled me with conflicted feelings.

‘Well, it’s not like I was expecting a little nap to clear my doubts away,’ I thought with a sigh. I changed out of my uniform and into some more comfortable clothes. As I finished putting on a loose-fitting blouse, I caught the scent of something delicious coming from downstairs.

Any thoughts I had about the interview were swiftly shoved to the back of my mind as my stomach started growling.

Quickly going to the kitchen, I saw Mother standing over the oven with her hair tied back. She was stirring a large pot with cubes of diced meat floating in it, and on the countertop, there were some assorted herbs and vegetables, including coqcughsua cones.

“Coqcughsua stew?” I asked, licking my lips.

“Yes,” Mother smiled at me. “Today was your big day so I decided to make something special.” Her smile fell, replaced by mild concern. “Are you feeling better?”

I sighed, hugging Mother from behind. “A little.”

“That's good. Would you like to help finish it? It might take your mind off of… whatever it is you have bouncing around that head of yours.”

I smiled softly. “You’re not worried about me eating all the coqcughsua?”

She gave me a teasing glare out of the corner of her eye. “Perhaps. Do you want to explain to your father why his favorite meal is incomplete?”

I stepped back with a shiver. “I…think I’ll pass.”

Mother chuckled at my reaction and handed me a knife. It had been a while since I had helped Mother in the kitchen, but my body fell back into the motions easily enough. I still couldn’t peel the tubers as well as Mother did, but it was serviceable.

“So,” Mother said slowly. “You said that the interview went as well as you should have expected. Is that good or bad?”

“Uhh, a little of both I suppose,” I said, a bit uncertain. “I more or less passed the interview-”

“Or sweetie!” Mother started to say happily.

“But they also said that I would need to undergo disciplinary training first.”

“What?!” she shouted, sounding almost insulted. “Disciplinary training? How absurd. You’re not some delinquent.” She huffed. “What are those paladins thinking?!”

“It’s…complicated.”

Mother sighed. “Well then? Care to explain?” She asked patiently.

“They said that my mindset wasn’t… appropriate for being a paladin.”

“Is that right?” she asked skeptically.

I shrugged. “Yeah, it’s weird I know, but paladins have a lot of influence so it’s important to make sure we don’t abuse it. Besides they said that normally they just wouldn’t have approved me but-”

“What?!”

“BUT! They said that I show enough promise in other ways that I’m worth the extra training.”

Mother sighed. “And you’re sure about this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s just a little extra training.”

“I suppose. It just seems strange to me. And more than a little insulting.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, you’re my daughter, and I say you’re a perfect fit for a paladin.”

I smiled. “Well, unfortunately, you weren’t one of the high commanders.”

“Yes, well…Oh, Commander Laqbeka was there right?”

My hands stopped moving. “...Yeah. Why?”

“He still hasn’t come by for that dinner I offered. Did he say anything?”

“No, he was very…professional during the whole thing.” I'm not sure if Mother noticed my discomfort, but she quickly changed the topic to some gossip she heard from the butcher earlier in the cycle.

Soon the herbs were chopped up and the vegetables were cut into bite-sized pieces. I even managed to snack on a few bites of coqcughsua as I worked, the sweet yet biting flavor filling my mouth as I crunched on the exotic plant. Once all the vegetables were diced up, I added them to the pot as Mother stirred them in, placing a lid on top once I was done so the stew could simmer. I looked out the window and realized that the sun was almost over the horizon. Father would normally be back by now.

“Didn’t you say that Father would be home for dinner?” I asked. It wasn’t strange for him to stay at the Temple late, but he almost always told Mother about it before leaving.

“Indeed he did.” Mother sighed. “He’s probably gone and lost track of time again. I suppose someone will be having cold stew for dinner then.”

“I could go get him,” I offered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’ll take some time for the stew to be finished anyway,” I said as I made my way to the front door. “We’ll be back before it gets cold.”