I want to know what the strange men know. I want to see what they have seen. I am willing to do whatever it takes. I will not repent my wish.

I was once asked if I would sell all of these things. I did say I would. But I must have what I came here for, I will not leave without it. So sold, I must question the value of this wampum I took for my most valuable things.

I sold my days to slave for the dollar, and spent it all just to survive. Then I sold my happiness so that I could have back my days. But the days would not be mine until I sold my nights, alone. That didn't last, it wasn't long until I sold my body. I would sell my name, but I gave that to someone who squandered it already. When all else was gone, it was my soul I sold.

I had to look then, into that final darkness. I had to see where all had gone. Whatever is left of me, it is not what concerns me. So I had some words for the darkness, I said:

"What can I buy, with all of this? You promised it was of great value." And after I said this I waited. Soon I knew the way.

I could have anything I wanted, that is what the strange men already knew. What made them strange now was the fact that they just sit there and take nothing. Why?

So I had to know what it is like. The strange men, they say to just sit quietly and float away. Know distant lands and hear the songs of birds in remote places, undiscovered yet by men. The strange men are not men, not like me.

I did float freely from myself, and knew only a feeling of absolute power. I could go anywhere, I wandered my neighborhood first. I was spying, I could see all of them as they slept or argued or fucked.

I made evidence for myself that this was not just a dream. I memorized things I could go back and see in the daytime. And so I saw those things and even some people. They instinctively knew that I had seen them, they just knew. And they hated me for it.

I started to feed off of their hatred, especially the women. I didn't even have to look at them, just walking by them made them angry, I could feel their defenses, their outrage. I savored it, like a sick drug that still tastes good after the fever is gone. Or just the sickness itself.

It was never enough just to watch them, not even in the beginning. I knew already I could inflict some sort of touch on my surroundings. At first I did not, though. I still had some shred of decency in me. It did not last.

I don't even remember the first night. It was like some kind of violence had overtaken me. I had no thoughts, only entitlement and ruthlessness. Then, every night after that I was the same way. I awoke feeling morbidly powerful and satisfied, but only until dusk.

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This went on for quite some time. But then I did regret it. I could no longer control this thing. It would go and its fervor only increased without me. I could see that those it visited the most often, their lives were falling apart. They had lost their relationships and become isolated. I saw this, and knew it was my fault. I wasn't entirely evil.

So I went to the strange men and I confessed to them what I had done. They asked if I had any change, like spare change. Frustrated I went out and started to ask people in the parking lot if they had any spare change. When I had collected enough of it I paid the strange men in coins collected by the good will of strangers in passing. Enough copper to fizzle my blood, I am sure.

"You must burn alive." The dark strange man told me.

"You must drown while they watch." The fair strange man added.

"You must live to feel forgiven. It will be very humiliating." The toothless strange man concluded.

"All of those things I must do?" I nodded. It was going to suck.

I arrived at the wading pool in the afternoon, soaked in gasoline. It was almost entirely adults when I got there. I noted I was right, the withered women had gathered like depleted roots, thirsty for socialization. So they would see me drown, at least.

I lit the match book and the flames traveled up my arm. As the fumes burned, it actually didn't hurt, at first. Then the air next to my skin was hot enough to light my skin on fire. My shorts burned too. Oddly enough, nobody had noticed me on fire. I wasn't screaming and they were all looking at their phones or elsewhere.

I dove headfirst into the shallow pool and knew the sudden darkness. It was two days before I woke up. A raggedy man found me and pulled back the curtain. He must know the strange men, for he said:

"It was a joke. All you have to do is confess to your victims and tell them your name. Then they will be safe from you." He coughed and laughed at my mummified appearance.

"Oh, it was just a joke. I get it." I agreed. It was funny, except the joke was on me, apparently. "Can I get my money back?"

"You cannot get your money back. No refunds." The raggedy man told me. Then he left me there.

It was then, oddly enough, that I finally began to feel the flames. The pain reached a crescendo before I finally cried out in agony. I couldn't take any more of it, I had gone beyond how much pain I could possibly endure and I did cry out. They gave me something and I slept again.

I remained sedated after that. It was like a fever dream. I went to a different hospital. Moving me around didn't stop it from finding me.

My eyes slowly opened and I saw it there. Just a glimpse of it at first. The shadow watching me, waiting for my sleep. Then I awoke at night, alone in the dark.

I looked around and it was there. I was seized by panic. I could not move, so restrained and sedated. All I could do was watch, helplessly as it came ever closer.

It climbed onto me, its foul expression burning a grotesque sensation into my mind. I could physically feel it clambering, my wounds igniting beneath its grip. Then its hellish face was over mine, its long putrid tongue parting my lips. It then started to vomit itself into me. As it convulsed it shriveled into almost nothing.

As a knotted worm it remained, slithering and sliding down my throat. Then it was gone. Entirely inside me. And then I began to have the nightmares it brought back to me.

It is the days that I cherish now. I can sit in the light, in a chair, in a garden. I hear voices all around me, quiet and calm. And if I float away, I just go listen to birds.

I have back my days, but my nights now belong to the other.