Sitting on his overly plush bed, Neal considered the pile of hard metal in the corner. He had pushed his armor off to the side after deciding he would quite the Guard. It had in effect, become a pile of junk, something to be dealt with later. Well, it was now ‘later’.
“If I’m wrong, stop showing up and collect your coin. Prove Sable right.”
General Torrent’s words echoed though his mind. Their weight pushed him down more than that armor ever did.
Is this what he truly wanted? No, of course not. He wanted to go home. He wanted his mother and father to recognize him and care about him like they did his siblings. But what he wanted isn’t what was, and now it could never be. The door to his old world and life had been closed, permanently.
He remembered when Coruscis had come to him, nearly broken and in tears. Sleeplessness and fatigue covered her face and body. She hadn’t taken care of herself in months, trying desperately to fix what she did. “Neal, I’m sorry. I can’t fix this. I thought I could. I tried, I REALLY tried but I can’t send you home.” The rabbit had collapsed in front of him, in that castle hallway, begging him to forgive her. And at the time, he couldn’t. In fact, it took all his effort not to slam his hand in the back of her head in sear anger.
He knew it was an accident even back then he knew that. She had spent months, without sleep or rest trying to fix it. But, how dare she come to him and beg, acting like she was the one being hurt. It was her fault he was here.
And yet, even then he knew it also wasn’t. Blame, that’s what he wanted at the time. Someone to blame for all the pain he was carrying. The weight of his entire life was always on top of his shoulders and he couldn’t handle it. She was there, smaller then him, so he could just dump it on her to deal with. Like so much had been dumped on him when he was younger.
Why did he keep carrying all this weight around? What was the point? It did nothing but hurt.
No. This world isn’t what he wanted, but that didn’t matter. This is what he had to work with. Like hard clay, Neal picked up each piece of armor and began rubbing at it, polishing it with the armor soap he was given. There were splotches on the armor, not rust this time, but something else. Given the smell, it was something unpleasant from the sewers.
More recent memories came as he sat in silence, cleaning his once more neglected armor. The rabbit had pushed herself against him a few nights ago, stood up to him. He had never seen her angry before. She always seemed, pathetic somehow. It just added insult to the pain he felt, how this weak and pathetic bookworm had ruined his life. Someone seemingly even weaker than him, still managed to have more of an impact on his own life than he did.
But seeing her stand up for herself in front of him, even if she was wrong. A small smile crossed his lips. It reminded him of when he first talked to her, over a year ago, when she made that promise to him. “Don’t worry Neal. I promise I’ll get you home. No one in the kingdom is more knowledgeable about magic than I am. I’ll crack this nut for sure!” Her smile was cocky, as was her attitude. The confidence she instilled in him, he knew she’d solve it. He had trusted her, but more than that, he had respected her. Obviously she failed but…
Over the next few months, he had only seen her a handful of few times. Before disappearing entirely for an entire month. Each of those times, she had seen progressively more disheveled, and exhausted, but still she kept fighting. For him. At least, until she gave up.
He stopped polishing his armor for a moment. Why was he so mad at her? He begun to wonder if it had nothing to do with going home. Perhaps, it was just easier. She was someone else, not him. The rabbit appeared weaker at times, and yet strong enough to change his fate. It was her fault he was here, and not his. But at the same time it wasn’t. It was just the easy way, to blame someone else. An enemy that was both strong, and weak. That was a dangerous way to think.
“God damn it.” He held back from tossing the soap and rag he held to the floor. Instead, he took a breath. This wasn’t helping. Picking up the next piece of armor he continued his work.
A crack spread across his face, and turned into bitter smile. “I really am fucked up aren’t I?” He spoke into the void.
A half-hour later, and the armor was ready.
As he looked over at his desk, the clock showed it was getting late, just past five. If he was going to do this, he would have to do it now. First was the light gambeson. Next, the chainmail cuisses and grieves. Then the cuirass with the purple, blue and silver markings of the Lunar Guard. Lastly, the pauldron on his shoulders. He finished by tying off the leather straps at the side. Locking it all into place.
It had been a little over a week and a half. The armor still fit well. Looking across the room into the far mirror there; he could see it didn't gleam or glow. However, it did shine just a bit under some of the scuffs that remained.
“Not perfect, but at least it’s acceptable.” He said to himself.
The walk back to the castle was sobering. The streets were full of various people in the early evening. The small number seemed to stare his way, even glare at him. Most just ignored him. A few of the High Guards took notice of him, and seemed to watch him as he walked. For a moment he wondered, were they always like that, or was this something new?
Inside, the castle is still busy and hectic. Various guards ran about doing things here and there, he didn't know what. Not his business. His business was in the throne room. Next to the rest of his guard.
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It was unusually early for him. Normally at this time of the evening, he'd still be in his apartment, trying to get ready. Maybe he would keep it up this time. In his slow walk towards the castle throne room, he caught eyes on a set of light blue rabbit ears and some dark blue hair. The back of the rabbit's head caused him to pause for a moment.
He still remembered what he was thinking about earlier. Maybe it was time to put the past behind him. He didn't like the rabbit, and he doubted he ever would. But at the same time, carrying around that anger didn't help. He needed to get better, and he would. It wasn’t time to forgive her, but, maybe he could at least talk to her and drop some of this weight.
Neal walked up behind the rabbit and tapped on their shoulder. He was prepared to offer a small semblance of an apology.
As the rabbit started to turn around, Neal only caught a quick sight of their eye, he knew then that something was wrong but could process what. There was a sudden flash and a numbness that would quickly become pain in his lower jaw. The world spun slightly as he fell backwards and impacted on the floor. He found himself holding his jaw line in pain. It didn't feel broken at least. But still really hurt.
‘What the hell just happened?’ He thought to himself.
“Don't touch me, human!” His voice was deep and growled in a way that rabbits don't. Next to Neal's head, a bare rabbit’s foot stomped on the ground.
There was an increasing fear of long-term brain damage in the back Neal’s mind. Or at least there would have been if there wasn't already preexisting damage.
As he glanced up at the rabbit from the floor, he began to realize the face didn't look right. Sure, there were some subtle similarities there, such as the cheekbones and obvious fur color. But the eyes were wrong, they were brown and his face was far squarer and masculine. He was pretty sure this rabbit was a boy. Coruscis on the other hand, he suspected was a girl. Though he never bothered to check.
Either way, this rabbit definitely was not who he thought it was. He was also quite angry at him for some reason.
“Mordon! Why did you do that.” A voice called out from down the hallway. It was very familiar, and slightly annoying.
Light blue rabbit ears with some whitish fur. Sandals on her feet, paws. The strange amethyst-colored eyes. Yeah, that was the rabbit he was expecting.
“Neal, are you OK?” She looked down at him with a worried expression on her face.
He closed his eyes tight and swallowed his pride. “Yeah, but I might have brain damage.” Opening his eyes, he looked back up at her.
“Ohh goddess, do you need to get help?” Her voice grew from worried to frantic.
Did the bookworm understand what a joke was?
“That was a joke. I'm fine.” Neil spoke as he slowly got up.
“Neal.” The other rabbit rubbed his chin lightly with a smirk on his face. “Ohh, right, the princess's pet. Aww, poor thing. I hope they're not to put them down now.”
The other rabbit smiled a twisted smile and laughed before wandering off. “Later loser.” He exclaimed behind him, not bothering to look back. It seemed to be directed at Coruscis but it was hard to tell for sure.
“Who was that?”
“It's Mordon. He's my cousin.” Coruscis spoke with a small amount of distain and embarrassment.
“He's got a wicked punch, doesn't he?” Neal is still rubbing at his chin.
“Yeah, Mordon 's one of the strongest and fastest of the rabbit kin in my village. He used to compete a lot when we were kids and he won a lot of tournaments.”
“Well, I guess it should be glad he didn't hit me with a magic spell or something. If he's even half as strong as you, he'd turn me into pace against the floor.” More than a little bit of worry across his face, as he spoke.
Coruscis shook her head no. “The rabbit kin don't have magic. I mean a very small number have some. We're technically a grey race, not even really neutral. We fought on both sides of the great wars. That's why some of us have magic and some of us don't. I'm very rare for my species though I have a freakish amount of mana.” She looked down at her paws as they glowed lightly, before pulling her mana back.
“Oh. Well anyway, your cousin is kind of an asshole, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he is. I'm sorry…” A sudden realization crossed the rabbit. Her face lit up into a smile. “Hey, you're talking to me!”
He rolled his eyes and response. “Yeah, don't get any funny ideas though.”
She looked down but continued to smile. “I won't. It's just. I'm glad. Hey, look, Neil, I was thinking-“
He held up his left hand in front of her face. “Stop.” He was forceful and stern, but not loud.
Again, closing his eyes deeply, he swallowed his pride back. “Look, I can't forgive you for what you did. You're the reason why I'm here. I know it wasn't your fault. I don't want to be mad at you anymore. But I'm not ready to be friends yet. Just give me a little more space and time to work it out.”
She still looked hurt, slightly, but also hopeful. “OK, sure. Just let me know when you're ready.”
He forced a smile and then walked away. He just wasn't ready to really talk to her yet. In a little under 2 weeks, it would be a year since she told him he would never go home. He needed at least a year to grieve. But after that, maybe.
In the throne room, only a few guards were present. Teuta and Toss. Upon seeing the human Toss chewed at his lower lip, said something that Neil couldn't hear then and then walked away. The Dark Elf, on the other hand, looked up from the clipboard he had. For a moment, it almost looked like he smiled. But, not really.
“Are you coming back or turning in your resignation?” His face and were as flat as always.
Neal give a light smile back to the dark elf before walking to the end of where the line would be. “I'm ready to be a guard again.” He said.
Slowly, the rest of the squad arrived. Everyone had something to say to Neal Myth in particular, slapped at his back far harder than usual. It was hard to tell, but it almost looked like she might have been crying. But that was absurd minotuars never cry, according to her. “Just glad I got to see you again, human. Nights were going to be lonely without you here.”
Finally, Sable arrived. The dark wolf seemed to stare at him. It wasn’t a glare and he didn't squint. Just stared. After a few seconds, he turned to address the entire squad. “Again, the Princess is not feeling well. The Night Court will not be held. Instead, all of you are to complete your normal runs. Even if the court is closed, we will still make sure it is secure.”
After that he started giving out specific orders. Down the line he went. Some of them paired up, a few went out by themselves. Finally, he arrived in front of Neil. Again, the wolf's face was unreadable, flat, cold.
Neal couldn't tell what was going on through the wolf's head. Probably thinking of the most menial chore for him to do.
The wolf opened his mouth like he was about to speak and held it for a second longer than needed. “Recruit Neil. I need you to help Teuta with the boxes tonight. There's a big shipment that’s going out.”
He stood tall at attention. “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”
Again, the wolf said nothing, turning to go off into his own runs.
The human continued to stand at attention for a moment longer than needed. The wolf turned for a second and barked “What are you waiting around for? Recruit, get moving!”
“Yes, Sir.” Neal jogged off after answering. He wasn't happy, but perhaps content. Logistics were important and there was a certain serenity in stacking and opening crates.