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Chapter 11 - Memories

D'aliah blinks her eyes open. She looks around her to see a beautifully dressed Valantian cabin. Its size alone is the most luxurious quality. A subtle rumble jitters through the room to what she then realizes is the steam engine of the boat.

She sits up in a panic. This must be the Ambassador's boat. She tries recalling what happened but her head simply aches in response.

"I had a feeling you'd be up," Says Kalan as he enters the cabin with two bowls.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days." He says as he hands a bowl to D'aliah, "You'll need your energy back,"

"Why, so I can run from you?" She scoffs, taking a bowl.

Kalan chuckles, "If that's your plan, then yes."

She examines the bits of meat and veg in what looks like a creamy stew. It actually looks delicious but something still just doesn't feel right. She halts her examination and looks at Kalan, saying nothing.

"Why would I go through all this effort saving you, just to poison you?" He jests.

"Saving me?" She responds, almost offended by the question.

"That's what I did, no?" He smirks.

"You're scum who exiled me from my home!" She yells, pissed off.

Kalan laughs, eating a spoonful of stew. "You really don't remember anything at all?"

"What?" She murmurs.

"What do you know about me?" He asks.

"I know that the Co'nitor made a huge mistake bonding me to you. I know you're troublesome. Always have been. You're a traitor too." She says, smiling and taking a bite of the stew.

"Maybe one or two of those are true. But you don't know me, do you?"

"No. I do not." She replies.

"Have you not wondered why you wouldn't know your bond?"

"We were to meet under different circumstances to this."

"D'aliah, we've known each other since we were children. The first time we met, I was of seven years and you were of eight. We received our bond when you were of sixteen."

"I don't believe you."

"I know. When I said this was all your idea I wasn't kidding. I only got my memories back a few weeks ago, the first thing I remembered is what you told me- whoever wakes up first, must get us out of Valantis."

"Why would I say that?"

"I don't know," He sighs, taking another bite of stew. "My memories only start from two rotations ago. I'm sure yours do too. But we've known each other for most of our lives. Do you remember anything before the past two rotations?"

D'aliah slowly shakes her head, staring at the ground and raising a spoon to her mouth.

"You've noticed it's odd?"

She stays silent, nodding her head as she chews slowly.

"The gold was for a serum. You told me it would help with memories. Your plan was to get caught for the gold after buying the serum but… It didn't work out that way. We're going to Nihil to get it."

They both fall silent for a moment as they eat their stew. D'aliah eyes are fixed on a single point in the room. The foot of a table, to be specific. Scanning the library of her mind to find evidence for or against what Kalan is saying. But remembering doesn't feel like it should be this strenuous.

"Over the past few weeks, more memories have returned. I remember us, sparring in Aaenhil. You had this amazing dual-sided weapon. It was like two large axes connected to either end of a short spear. Each 'axe' was facing the opposite direction to one another. The way you'd wield that weapon made it very difficult to fight you."

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"That's why you asked about the sword?" She asks.

"When I saw the sword, I realized you might not remember me. I was hoping we would dance on that stage, showing everyone how skilled, yet graceful you are."

D'aliah feels a tingle rise in her cheeks. She rapidly starts eating her stew to avoid Kalan noticing.

"Instead, they got to see the clunky swordsman," He quips.

D'aliah giggles too but stops. She realizes she shouldn't trust him, but it feels so natural. The thought of that alone is evidence for his case but she knows she needs to be careful.

"How did we lose our memories?" She asks.

"I don't know. I kept hearing people commenting on how we were troublemakers or how much better we were behaving lately and I didn't quite understand it. Maybe our minds have tried to erase some sort of trauma?"

D'aliah arrives at her last bite of stew, pondering over Kalan's question. "Who taught you to cook?"

"You." He says. "I don't know what this is but I remember we used to cook it often when we were together."

"We were together often?"

"More than we were supposed to be." He says, finishing his stew.

"I have no memory of any of this. Or of you. But whenever I'd hear your name or see your face, I'd get this feeling in my chest. Like there's something I'm supposed to do."

"Like what?" He asks, taking her now empty bowl and placing them on a side table.

"After you got arrested I thought I was supposed to kill you. But, when I saw you on the stage, I knew that wasn't it."

"I've had dreams of you," She adds. "Dreams of us… Some of them are beautiful. We have a family with two children. A boy and a girl. We lead both Aagar and Aaenhil as one of the best bonds in history. I can remember how it felt in the dream. How much I loved you."

She sighs, raising the covers above her shoulders. "I've had nightmares too. The ones in which I was tortured and kept prisoner were scary, but the ones where they tortured you and had me watch… Those were hell. I have never felt so helpless, and filled with rage. I would have done anything to save you."

"I've had similar. I could never reach you. They wouldn't let me."

"We're going to Nihil to get our memories back?" She asks.

"I hope we can. Everyone I contacted said our source doesn't exist or died."

"Then what?"

"Then we decide together."

"And if I don't want them back?"

"Don't you?"

"My life made sense a few days ago. I'd be heir and marry an idiot bond. Remaining exiled might not be best for me."

"Maybe not. But is living without your memories what's best for you? How can you make an informed decision if you don't remember?"

"I'm afraid that if I remember, I will choose not to go back."

"Don't you think that's unwise?"

"I am the heiress to the council of Aagar! What about that life is unwise to you?" She bites, irked by Kalan's undermining of her inheritance.

"I understand that. It's an honorable life. But, is it what you want?"

D'aliah doesn't know the answer to that. It's been easy to ignore the confusion when it could be dismissed as a fable. Kalan's persistence and honesty make it feel all the more real. She raises her hands to clutch her head as it starts aching again. Still trying to extend past the barrier of her memory.

Kalan steps over to a drawer on the far side of the cabin. He pours a glass of water and drips medicine inside. It's slowly dissolved into a yellowish, bubbling fluid as he brings it over.

"This will help with the pain." He says, offering her the glass.

"What is it?"

"A painkiller. This particular version is from a plant in Dantas, I believe. Valantian researchers managed to create a more potent medication from the plant as a basis."

"You just know these things?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as she takes the glass.

Kalan chuckles, "No. I read the packaging earlier."

"I knew you would ask."

"How?"

"I wouldn't trust me if I were in your position. I'm a total stranger that speaks as though I've known you for years. I'm prepared to earn your trust."

"Bringing me here was not a very good start," She quips.

"No? I'd like to see what you would have done in my position."

"Simple, I would have knocked on your door and said- Hello, Mr. Musa. You've lost all of your memories and I'm here to remind you."

Kalan laughs, "That would definitely work."

"Of course." She says, holding back a giggle. "You must ease someone into a situation like this."

"You're right. Your method is very subtle."

"It would seem you don't remember much of me either." She jests.

"I would like to remember more." He says, suddenly very serious.

"I have this feeling that the time I spent with you was the best time of my life."

D'aliah feels herself blushing again, this familiar feeling. Like the one in her dreams.

The good ones.

"I want to remember." He says.

"Luná is one of three moons aligned to a large globe named Cirri." - Prophet DeGarr