Lucy was everything to me. She was my first love. So how, how could she die so young? 

The morning came just like it had the day before, but everything is off. The birds are singing their shitty song this morning, again, at the same time they chirped yesterday. I know because I haven’t slept yet, I haven’t been able to since it happened. The annoying birds are nails to a chalkboard, a reminder that another day is happening without her. What do I do, what am I supposed to do? I can’t gather the motivation to leave my bed, eat, hell even sleep. All I have been doing since she got killed is lie on my phone, looking through old photos of us. Engraving her face into my memory so I never forget. My eyes are blurry, all the photos are blurry, nothing seems clear anymore, physically and mentally. Nothing makes sense.

Grief has left me broken, but I feel it changing. The apathy that comes after despair is leaving. Anger. Fury. Hatred. My knuckles white, brimming with rage, you certainly caught it earlier when I mentioned it, she was killed. 

Suddenly my bed seems the worst place to be, “why the fuck am I in bed, I need to do something.” I mumble to myself. Creeping off the bed, I slowly put my feet down on the cold wooden floor. My room is drowning in the stench of death, closed windows keep the sunlight away and dirty laundry everywhere doesn’t help either. I can’t stay on my ass doing nothing anymore, I have to do something. I need to find who killed Lucy. I need to avenge her, I need to let her rest in peace, I need to find peace. 

For those of you that are following along with me, let me tell you about Lucy and consequently, myself. She moved into the house next door during my 6th grade year, she was the stereotypical new girl that moves in and everyone falls in love with. She was perfect since the day I saw her. Her straight black hair was beautiful in every sense, her dark green eyes would lock you in a trance every time you looked at her, and her laugh was more addicting than the best drug out there, she was my first and only love. Lucy was great at everything she did, academically she was unrivaled and athletically she was superior. It was as if she came from another world, just to show off how everyone else was inferior to her. We started dating freshman year of highschool, I mustered up the courage to ask her out when we were walking back home from our first day of school; she said yes and bawled my eyes out. Not believing she would say yes I kept asking her, “are you sure?” All while snot and tears poured from my face. We would laugh about it almost everyday after the fact, she even nicknamed me cry baby Cain because of it, and I loved it just like I loved her. We've been together for five years, if she were here it would’ve been six next month, August 16th. She went off to college and I went straight to work after we finished school. I've always wanted to become a writer so I’ve been working a shitty 9-5 at a local grocery store while working on my novel. She wanted to become a lawyer and was on track to. Her only other family member was her grandfather, he was never around too much due to work but on occasion i’ve seen him when i've gone to her house, but we’ve never talked, he always seemed in a rush to go to his room when he spotted me. I always found it a bit strange that my girlfriend's grandfather never wanted to meet me but I never put much thought into it. I had her and that’s all I wanted. 

I found out through the news that Lucy was killed. I was sitting in the kitchen eating dinner after coming back from work, worried about why Lucy was taking so long to respond. It was never like her to be silent after our good mornings we exchanged earlier that day. This is the memory scarred into my memory. My mother suddenly shouted my name, hurrying me to come to the living room. And there I saw it, on the headlines.

YOUNG GIRL FOUND DEAD BEHIND ALLEY.

They couldn’t identify the body but I knew instantly. I saw the jewelry through the news pictures, the feather necklace I gave her when we graduated highschool, her mothers family ring, all the signs were there. Lucy was dead. The news reporting said the victim was burnt to death. Not stabbed or shot, burnt. How could that be possible? Would no one has noticed a fire behind a fucking alley? My mind raced, and raced, until it shut down. All I remember was the silence that followed. All I could think about was the loss of my love, all I could think of was that a part of me died with her. Since that day I've been locked away in my room, but now I need to change. I need to go see him, Lucy’s grandfather is the only one that can answer the questions I need about what happened. 

The walk to Lucy’s house sucks. I have memories on every road that leads to her house. Our first kiss outside her apartment, us running in the rain back to my house through the streets, every step I take is another gunshot wound, another memory. My head’s down, looking only at my black converse as I walk. I can’t bring myself to look up and see a dull world, where colors have faded and sounds muted. What do I gain from walking with my head high? My steps are fast, and I keep going, not thinking about anything anymore. I don't need to think nor do I want to, this walk is muscle memory to me. 

Her apartment door seemed larger than ever, the golden 81 marking her apartment number turned from a holy gold to a rust. My hand stretched out towards the doorbell and I just couldn’t press that fucking button. I’m just so scared, what if he isn’t home? Or what if he doesn’t want to bother talking to me, I never did try to make an impression on him. But I can’t stop now, I walked through tartarus to get here and nothing is stopping me from trying. Nothing. I press the button and wait, trying to ignore the silence that has found its way between me and Lucy’s house. But the silence never left. My brain couldn’t process it anymore, and before I could stop myself my hand started swinging on the door. I knock until my fists hurt, but no one is answering the door. Where could the old man have gone? Did he move away already? No! He couldn’t have, I need to see him. I won’t let him just leave befor-

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“What do you want?” a voice says, not through the closed door in front of me, but through a tiny crack in the window to my right, he’s still here, thank god.

“Please let me talk to you, I need to ask about Lucy!” I plead, the desperation in my voice taking me by surprise. I practically just begged him. 

“There’s nothing to ask, and there's nothing to tell. She is dead, let her rest.” he snorts back, bitterness dripping from his voice. 

“But I can’t just forget about her, she was my life, my everything, I loved her!” I cry out to him. Not caring about my appearance, the snot coming from my nose, or the tears streaming from my eyes. I can't let this go away, I can’t miss just the chance of learning something. “Do you know anything about her death, the news reporting made no sense, how could she have burned without traces of a fire?” I darted back, anger rising throughout my body and escaping through my teeth. Every word waning from desperation and turning into an unbridled fury. “She was killed, I know it. There was no accident or anything, she was murdered! Are you not angry? Do you not feel betrayed by the world, to have your granddaughter taken from you!” I lash out, panting as I try gathering back my breath to say more, to yell at him for not caring. To yell at anyone because that’s the only place my grief could find solace. 

But before I could start again the door flew open. There was no one on the other side waiting for me though, just the empty corridor leading to their living room. Where did the old man go? Was this an invitation inside?I couldn’t care to wonder anymore, I’m tired, angry, and heartbroken. My first steps into the corridor were worse than watching a horror movie at night. The brown rug lined along the hallway was woven with Lucy’s smell, the baby blue colored walls reminded me of her favorite color, I can’t ever escape thinking about her. Thankfully, the walk was short lived, as I moved into the kitchen and saw the old man sitting by a table. 

Damn, he looks like shit. The oldman was a mess, wearing only underwear and a stained T-shirt that smells like an entire bar. His green eyes were hollow, showing an abyss to nothing. Layers of bags underneath his eyes reflect the sleepless nights he’s had, just like me. 

“You won’t find who killed her, much less kill him.” The old man said, the bitterness from before changing to sorrow. 

Everything stopped. Him? How would the old man know it was a guy?

“You…you know who it is don’t you. You know who killed her, you know!” I shout at him, running towards the man with speed I never had before. But before my hands could reach his collar, I froze. Like a lucid dream, every fiber of my body screaming to move, to just wiggle my finger, but nothing. I look back at the old man, wondering if he was also stuck, but why was he standing? Why am I staring at golden pupils, and is that a fucking horn on his head? 

“The man you’re so desperate to find isn’t from here, neither am I or Lucy.” He calmly told me. But that just doesn’t make sense, what does he mean not from here? I keep trying to fight against my body, to move anything, fuck my hands or my arms, all I need is my mouth. 

“W-What d-do you m-mean” I stutter out, barely managing to say four words before being too tired to fight against this force.

“I don’t know how you managed to break my spell even if it was only for a sentence. A human normally wouldn’t even be able to move their eyes, much less speak.” He replied, with curiosity evident in his voice. “But what I mean is that me and Lucy aren’t from this earth, we came here to hide from war. As you can already tell, I'm not human and neither was Lucy, we are what you guys would call ‘devils’. The man that killed Lucy is named Xander, a hero from our world raised to kill us.” 

Yeah, what the fuck. I'm frozen in place and now this lunatic is saying that Lucy was a devil? I need to find out what’s going on with me and get out of here, this old man is long gone. 

“I don’t expect you to believe me, just move on. I'm sorry about Lucy, she loved you dearly, but you have to forget about her. Your vengeance will only ruin you.”

“I-If w-what y-you’re saying is true, i-is there a w-way for you to go back t-to your world?” I choke out, it’s becoming easier to talk. I feel my legs start to shake, as if I'm almost done defrosting. I realize I’m gaining some strength back, soon I can make a run. 

“The portal back can be found anywhere. I can open it anywhere that has a frame. A doorframe, closet, even this fridge.” The old man says as he walks towards their fridge. I feel my body finally free, I can make a run for it now, but why is he opening the fridge? No way he’s actually opening a portal…right? Before I can make my escape, the fridge opens to show a black hole, a literal fucking black hole. “I first came here to escape with Lucy, her father is a very important man back in our world and knew she would be in danger, he ordered me to come here and protect her unt-” 

Fuck what he’s saying, this is my chance to find that fucker, to kill that pile of dogshit Xander. I don’t care if this is a dream or just a joke, but if I can go to Lucy’s world by running head first into a fridge I will do it for eternity. I break into a sprint as the old man keeps talking. Before he can react from his apparent surprise that I can move, i’m already half way inside the black hole before everything went dark.