I have the worst luck.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a NEET, or an awkward pervert, or your average run of the mill high school student or anything like that. Things could definitely be worse.
But that doesn’t mean my life doesn’t suck.
See, I have the worst luck ever. Of all time. Ever since I can remember, bad things have just happened around me. I’ve seen bank robberies, and kidnapping attempts, and even a few murders. And more often than not, I’ve been involved in one way or another. It’s like I’m always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And if I know anything about foreshadowing, today was gonna be the worst.
My name is Skye McArthur, and I’m a junior at Central University of Northern Texas. I’m majoring in massage therapy and am vice co-captain of the Kendo club.
Today I was downtown, shopping in the mall when I saw a store out of the corner of my eye. It was called “Let’s Otauku bout it.” and they sold anime and anime accessories.
“Hmm.” I thought to myself. “I think I should check that place out. After all, what bad things could possibly happen in a place like that?” I naively kept thinking as I walked into the waifu wonderland ahead of me. “After all,” I thought as An addendum to my previous thought, “they are only 2D girls, they can’t possibly hurt you in real life.”
I wandered the shelves, looking at titles
I would never spend money on, and some that I had shamefully spend many money on. You see, I, Skye McArthur, like anime, Sue me. It was my one secret passion. Well, besides rubbing bodacious babes down and the fine art of swordplay that is. But I digress. I was browsing the mature young adult light novels when out the corner of my other eye this time, I saw her.
“She had hair like warm honey and eyes of fresh toffee,
From the moment I saw her did this vision accost me,
With an oversized sweater and a mug that read “coffee”
Down this center isle towards me did an Angel tread softly.”
Sarah Masterson. One of the most beautiful girls on campus. Standing at 5’5, with wavy dark blonde hair, Sarah was one of the star volley-ball players and had the rocking body to prove it. Today she was wearing an oversized white sweater, jean shorts and flip flops, and had a pair of small square glasses on. I noticed that she noticed me and when she smiled and walked towards me I know she knows I noticed her nose and lips and toes and hips and wait, what was she even doing here? Crap, time for a radical analysis.
1.) I know OF her.
2.) I don’t know if she knows of me.
3.) I know she knows I know of her.
4.) She knows what she knows about me, but I don’t know what she knows about me.
Therefore I don’t know what she knows about me but she knows what I think I know about her. What a sneaky move on her part. I’ll have to do my best to not give away what I know she knows.
“Hey.” I say guardedly, eyeing her suspiciously. What kinds of games are you playing girl?
“Oh my gosh, hi!” She gushed unconvincingly energetic. “You’re like,
totally in my AP Japanese style art forms in modern media and it’s influence on western culture class over at C.U of N.T. aren’t you? Skye isn’t it? Skye McArthur?”
Oh. That’s right. Room 7 in the English hall, Monday Wednesday Friday at 2:00. I like, totally forget she was in that class. But she didn’t have to know that.
“Ya, that’s right. I’m like, totally in that class too.” I said back to her earlier inquiry. “Are you here getting some extra credit material for class?”
She giggled in response. “No silly, I work here part time. I love reading manga, so I take full advantage of the employee discount.” She put her two fingers on her left hand in a V position and stuck her tongue out sideways like a typical anime girl pose. Like I would ever fall for that.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Oh, well that’s cool then.” I replied smoothly and unaffected by her feminine wiles. “So what made you come over here then?”
“Oh nothing in particular, I just thought I saw something I needed over here but when I saw you instead I just wanted to say hi! I hope that doesn’t bother you or anything.” By the look on her face I could tell she was trying to tease me something fierce, but I knew how to deal with situations like this.
“Nah, it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I was just hoping a pretty girl I knew would see me looking at anime in public.” I nailed back at her with amazing poise. She giggled again at my charming ways.
“No don’t worry about that, like I said, it’s my secret passion.” She winked at me, or possibly through me to the wall I couldn’t tell. “Anyway I’m actually super glad I ran into you.” She continued, for sure towards me this time. “Ya know that project we got assigned in class the week that we need a partner for? I was thinking that we should totally partner up for it.” She said, flashing her big dumb innocent doe eyes at me. My bad luck was really kicking in this time.
“Ya, I guess that sounds cool. How about we meet up tomorrow to talk about it?” I gave in to her demands immediately.
She smiled back at me with a 23,500 watt smile. “That sounds radical! You can come to the house me and a few other girls have right off campus. I’ll put the address and my number in your phone.” I went to grab my phone from my pocket but she already had it in her hand inputting her own information. “Come by around 6, ciao!” And with that she turned around, threw my phone over her shoulder to me, and sashayed off into the distance seductively, looking over her shoulder once she got a respectable distance away to send some smoldering gazes back this way and then turning down a different isle, lost again to the magic of books. As I was looking into the distance lamenting my terrible luck, I heard heavy breathing coming from behind me.
“Heh. Looks like that girl has plans for you. Tough luck pal.”
Turning around, I see a rugged sort of
fellow, wearing jeans and a T-shirt with fingerless gloves and a trench coat. But the crown jewel that aptly rest upon his head was a golden fedora, adorned with a single eagle feather. He was leaning against one of the shelves and flipping a coin in his left hand, with his right hand in his pocket.
“Hey buddy, who the heck are you?” I asked calmly.
“Me? The names Paul Revere, and I’m just a guy traveling through the area. Happened to see your little exchange there, and just thought I should say pal, you have the worst luck.” He proceeded to pull his fedora dramatically over his eyes. “That broads got some plans for you.”
I signed in relief. “Finally, someone who’s speaking my language. People just don’t understand how bad my luck is.”
“Heh heh, luck huh? That’s pretty funny kid.”
“Oh funny is it? Just cause you have a cool fedora you think you know about luck? I have the worst luck of anyone alive.” I exclaimed angrily.
“You really think my fedora is cool?” He said in amazement. “Nobody has ever appreciated on my sweet digs before. Heh. Ya know what, I like you kid.” He put the coin he was flipping back into his pocket and pulled out a solid gold coin. “I’m about to change your life kid.”
I scoffed at him. “If you think you can change my terrible luck then by all means, give it your best shot.”
He gave me the old Paul Revere smirk and said, “Can do.”
He flipped the coin into the air and spun around in a circle before intently staring down the barrel of his finger gun. As the coin was revolving in midair he says a cool catchphrase to assert his dominance.
“Bartledoo.”
He pulls the hammer back on his finger gun and fires a blast at the coin free falling through the air and puts a perfect hole right through the center. As it falls threw the air he opens his jacket pocket and lets the coin fall inside like a pro. He looks me dead in the eye and says, “I’ll use that later at a pay phone to call your mom after I sneak out of her room at 3:00 a.m. to tell her not working out and I’m moving to another state. Boom roasted.”
I ignore the obvious affront to my mother and ask the obvious question, “Did that fairly rad coin trick actually change my luck?”
He just shook his head and walked towards me. “Nah kid that ones for me. You’re just an inactive radical catalyst that needs a jumpstart.” He put his hand on my chest and began to chant.
“Oh what’s the matter G,
You out of battery?
You like my hand on ya chest, I’m the best
Don’t flatter me.
You best call the Calvary, bring em all out to see
The mother fucking radical catalyst that he’s bout to be. “
His hand began to glow during the chant and when he finished I felt a deep energy deep inside me shift, and I could see. I could see energies swirling around that I had no idea existed. I smiled at the man.
“Radical.”
“Heh.” He said turning around and walking away. “We’ll see how you feel in a few days pal. Good luck out there. Both sides will try and use you to their benefit and if they can’t, they’ll kill you.” Then with a final wave he vanished into the eroge games section.
“Oh ya.” I thought to myself as my seemingly indifferent attitude had driven everyone I cared for away from me. “We are still in the cleverly named anime store.”
“Relax man, you’re being to hard on yourself, that’s just the way scene’s develop ya dig?” Said a voice from the sky.
“Halt who goes there?” I shouted imperiously.
“Man who are you some old school knight or something shit dude you could use a chill pill an I right?” Said the disembodied voice, clearly searching for laughs but the room clearly wasn’t feeling his act. “It’s ok I’m basically just your subconscious, I’ll explain more later but for now I think we need to get out of here.”
I was clearly going crazy to have a voice in my head talking but you know what they say.
“Ok then let’s go. I would hate for something bad to happen in this lovely anime store.”
Right as these sacred words were spoken, the alarm started going off in the store.
“Warning: Bandits are coming. All defenses activating in 30 seconds.”
“Oh.” I thought to myself. “What a harrowing coincidence.”
Right at the moment, Sarah came sprinting around the corner looking super serious. She saw me and shouted.
“I knew it! So it was you the whole time!” She excitedly grabbed my arm. “Whatever you can explain later but we have to get out of here like now. Those bandits are going to be after you.”
And with those words in front of me, and Paul Revere’s warning literally one minute ago right behind, the honey colored haired maiden pulled me along to a world I was not at all ready for.
Some people have the worst luck.
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Join us next week to see what happens to Skye. Who are these strange people? What is he? Why do these things keep conveniently happening in succession? These questions and more answered in episode 2 of
Luck Be a Lady.