"No, that's not how this works, you broken condom. You brain fried vacuum suckers tampered with your AI's logic board power supply and that's what sent it haywire." Jack leaned his head back against the cool wall of his office turned bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and whatever else it needed to be as he hissed into his comms unit. It was a relatively cozy spot that was nearly three times the size of his shop's storefront that boasted a cot slammed up against the bulkhead next to a small kitchenette and living space that held an actual couch and relatively large holoscreen for shows. A partition separated his washroom holding the shower, commode, and washing machine from the eyes of… well, no one. Lix was the first person other than himself that had been inside since he'd come into ownership of the Stripped Bolt. "Oh no dude, it's haywire. Tweaked harder than your nipples during the last communal freakazoid party. It tried to kill me while talking crazy… I'll talk to customers however I please ya greasy byproduct. Your ship is already in my shop, I don't gotta wine and dine ya to get it in here anymore!" Lix snickered from his couch, her tail lazily draped over the back as she dug her muzzle into a container of Meelk. The off red block of… food, crumbled in her fang filled mouth like chalk and tasted quite similar.
Super-Wheat and Vat-Grown meat, add a little water and then some heat, it's Meelk!
Valtus and Gordon Farms stipulated anyone who purchased their staple food sang the jingle before they imbibed but who was checking?
"You aren't very good at customer service, are you?" Meelk bits fell from her mouth as she spoke, her cheeks bulging with bites of reconstituted calories. Jack simply glared at her, earning the Human a mischievous tail flick before he returned to his call.
"Look, you subhuman trash compactor, you got two choices: you either pay for a new AI and I'll install it, or I charge you extra for being absolutely fuck-tarded and bolt everything back together as is. Or, and this would be my favorite, I can scrap your flying dump truck for parts and cut my loses. Email me, I hate talking to you. I can hear you dying of high triglycerides." With a sneer, Jack angrily killed the call on his comms unit, the boxy little device creaking as he thumbed the off switch. For a moment, a glorious moment, thoughts of electronic violence flittered through the man's mind addled by booze and years of questionable life decisions. He could use his mechanical arm to pitch the little device into the wall, watching with his implants as the plastic frame shattered against the steel. Or… or he could incinerate it with the torch still attached to his arm's hardpoint!
Yes… cleansing flame and melting plastic dripping to the floor as circuits curled in on themselves like the legs of a deceased spider. Jack's eyes shifted to his newest ward, Lix, her jaws working overtime to power through a spot of hardened Meelk that had sat too long in the reconstitutor. Her chewing slowed as he stared, chunks of Meelk pulverizing with every destructive pass of her fangs. He held out the comms unit.
"Bite this." The raptor lady simply kept on chewing, leaning away from the offending unit as if it smelt of failure and unwashed gym clothes.
"No. Bite it yourself with your useless omnivore teeth." She glared as another swath of Meelk vanished down her gullet. "If you can even call those things teeth."
"You're vile. I've been so helpful and you won't let me work on your ship," The mechanic lifted a metallic finger. "Help me with that shitty workboat." Another digit, rigid and accusing. "Or bite things when I tell you." A third finger, completing the trifecta. "You are both unfair and ungrateful. Some new more horrible thing. Unfateful." He frowned, rubbing his chin. "That sounds like some bullshit fantasy game debuff."
"I make it a rule to only bite things on a guy that really hurts." A grin spreads across the Kux'lar's muzzle as she tossed the final bite of Meelk in the air, her jaws snapping shut with a force that would shatter bone.
"You can bite my ass, is what you can bite."
"Sorry, I don't like undercooked white meat." Her snickers grew while she ran for safety as Jack rose to attack her with his mechanical hand, the Human getting his revenge with a slightly painful tail pinch as he squeezed out the door back into his beloved garage. Lix followed, leaving her trash on the floor.
"So how long are you going to squat in my shop? Any idea where your 'coworkers' are?" Jack asked as he gazed angrily up at the nearly repaired Tuma workboat. All it needed was a simple AI install. He'd even already reran the wire systems and replaced the power junction that had caused the catastrophic failure previously. The No Safety Measures sat heavy and low so Lix could come and go as she pleased, the raptor lady bounding her way over tools and workbenches towards her sanctuary.
"I will check. All this sitting around is getting to me."
"Sitting around and watching me slave away, you mean. Not helping. Or offering your sexy, sexy ship for my thirsty soul." Lix's only reply was a flippant twirl of her long red tail as she vanished into the confines of her racer. It was her oldest friend, a hand-me-down that barely ran when she first came into its possession. Many lifetime firsts had been had within the cramped vessel, some joyous and warm, other frigid and best left forgotten. All were personal, her own little hoard of memories that flowed forth with every creak of the fuselage and groan of the rivets. One such frigid memory was her so called coworkers. Jack entered behind her, the Kux'lar shooting him a look that melded annoyance with mirth.
"I like watching you slave away. Guys on their knees is a guilty pleasure of mine." Her smile died as she made her way to the cockpit, easily sliding into the pilot's chair as her tail slipped into the custom-made hole for her tail. Jack nearly stepped on it as it suddenly jutted towards him. "I guess I should explain though, I'm starting to feel like I'm staying in one place too long…" Red flags were something Jack prided himself on both noticing and ignoring. That being said, it was often bad form to get smacked with one in the face and not address it.
"How long have you been on the run from your 'coworkers', and should I keep a few extra rounds in my back pocket?" Lix didn't answer him, too busy clacking away at a control panel with her claws. Several screens glowed to life in front of her, one displaying a recent racing circuit with the No Safety Measures prominently hailed as the underdog victor against several long-standing champions of some race called the Rakton Belt Dash. "Wait wait wait," Jack held up a pair of mechanical hands, his head bowed. "Let me guess. You had this race, this Rakton race, and you were up against these long-standing champs of said race. Everybody was rootin' for 'em and they had fans and shit." He glanced at her, checking his progress before forging ahead. Lix rolled her eyes and crossed her scaly arms as his own draped across her shoulders while he gestured out the cockpit at some grand imagined view. Before him, throngs of roiling crowds cheered and bellowed inside protected atmo-bubbles built into massive asteroids as racers lined their humming ships along a projected line, the drive bells glowing with heat and their pilots dressed in bright racing uniforms that hugged their forms. An announcer hyped the already drunk and high fans into a flurry of zealous excitement. "Most importantly, between these mad fans and the stoic investors in business suits sequestered in VIP booths away from the dirty masses, bets were placed. Nice, curated bets." Lix nodded, her tongue flickering at the air. Jack snatched at it, earning him a reflexive nip on his metal fingers. "And then you went and raced, baby! You raced hard! You zipped between asteroids and around your opponents like a bee, slamming through the finish line at a breakneck pace for that sweet, sweet dopamine rush! You snagged the first-place spot from the dusty old locked in champs and upset the whole board as the black horse racer, am I right?" Another nod, and this time, a blush. One that seeped into the flesh between her red scales and turned the skin purple. It contrasted sharply, making it look as if someone had taken a purple marker and colored betwixt her scales after she'd fallen asleep at a party. "And you done messed up those bets. You cost people money, and now your coworkers are looking to collect from the uppity new racer on the block?"
"Stoooop. I get it, us asteroid racers are typical." She went to bite him again, something he'd been dodging for several hours now, and winced as she succeeded, her fangs painfully wrapping around his forearm with a CLANG. The raptor lady winced as Jack rubbed his stubbly chin, looking about interior of the No Safety Measures with eyes agleam of thoughts and dreams and, most importantly, Roarks. Lix looked up from where she had clutched her muzzle, her painful expression turning worried as he laid a hand on the threshold of the cockpit almost reverently…. possessively. "Jack, no."
"Jack, yes!" He whirled, excitement and determination steeling his features harder than even his cybernetic implants. "You done started biting off more than you can chew, lizard girl! You in the big leagues now! You're winnin' races and makin' enemies!" He spread his hands wide with whir of servos and actuators, Lix wincing as he dominated the cockpit, her cockpit. "You need a wrench jockey, someone to keep this baby in workin' order both in and outta the track!"
"No! No no no no!" Lix, jumped from the pilot's seat to ineffectually beat on his chest, the Kux'lar had been flying solo since her very first race. Every bolt and nut in the No Safety Measures had been serviced by her own personal touch, and no smelly Human was going to change that!
"Yes! Yes yes yes yes! This is gonna be some good shit!" Jack swept the raptor up in a tight hug, squeezing until she wheezed and kicked with her vicious claw tipped feet. Spittle flew from her maw as she snapped at his chin, the reptile's face switching between despair, worry, rage, and finally, exhaustion. She had simply come here to hide, not get saddled with some hyper active monkey.
"Let go of Lix!" She squirmed, the pressure of his demanding presence degrading her ability to speak. "Leave! Leave Lix ship!"
"Naaahhhh, ya ain't lookin' at the situation right." Jack dropped the angry lizard before she could bite his throat, her eyes glaring up at him. "Look, ya try to get back on the track on your own and all you'll do is put a target on you. You need to start thinking about a crew. You focus on slipping between giant rocks floating in space and crossing a finish line before everyone else and I'll keep the No Safety Measures running like a dream. I've got the shop for dry dock and I can work my magic during the races. I've even got a hauler we can stuff her in to transport her to and from racing circuits!" He winked as Lix began to fidget, her tail curling around her legs as uncertainty warred with her confidence. "And I can help put bullets in whoever tries to make sure you don't make it back to the track. Which you know will happen. You're costing people money." Lix hissed as his words sank into her stubborn head, her fangs gnashing at nothing.
"Gnah!" Skittering claws lightly scoured the deck as the Kux'lar screeched, angrily stomping back out into the garage as Jack followed, the Human grinning wildly. He knew he'd convinced her. "Lix just want to race!"
"And Lix will, this is the price of fame, baby!" Jack spun her around, wincing as she whacked his side with her tail. Nonetheless, he offered her a dull mechanical hand. "And I'm sick and fuckin' tired of working on crappy workboats! Come on, let's shoot for glory or blow up in a badass fireball!" Lix continued to glare, her eyes switching between his crooked grin and proffered hand. Slowly, Lix stepped away, her head swiveling about as she gazed at the garage she'd sequestered herself in. Somewhere out in Koorka Station her fellow racers were hunting her down, seeking revenge for the sin of not staying in the slow lane. Jack was right, she knew… they all had managers and mechanics and social media crews and… and she was alone. She'd prided herself on that fact. That she could fly and care for her ship and that people were learning the No Safety Measure's name all from her efforts alone… but… she knew she couldn't keep up. Sparks crackled beneath her claws as she worried at the steel decking of Jack's shop before turning back to the Human, her eyes full of begrudging acceptance. Hesitation stayed her hand for just a moment before scale met alloy, Jack's grin growing tenfold as the pact was sealed. "Hell yeah! This is good shit Lix, I'm tellin' ya!"
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
"Yeah yeah…"
"Come on, we're celebrating!" Jack pulled the yelping lizard behind him as he made for the front of his garage, her pawed feet scrambling to keep up.
"Hey! I'll actually bite your ass!" Lix could only struggle not to fall as she was drug along like a child as the larger Human passed under the now defunct work boat that had nearly killed him only hours earlier. On instinct, her jaws gnawed at his metal hand in an attempt to gain freedom, her feet scraping at the deck as she yanked when her fangs failed to convince him to release her. Legs locked, all the raptor lady could do was whine as she was dragged into the shop front of Jack's Stripped Bolt. "Where are you dragging me off to like a kidnapped hatchling?" Lix growled, continuing to try and wriggle her way back to independency. Thoughts swirled like wet mud in her head, too fast for her claws to grasp at as she struggled to gain a foothold in her psyche. This was no different than the last few days. All she wanted to do was race, her victory followed by fleeing like a coward with her tail tightly tucked between her legs to hide in some greasy mechanic's garage on some backwater station in the middle of nowhere. Now she was being strongarmed into a partnership she wasn't sure she wanted and dragged off to… to… somewhere! Everything felt out of her control and made her fangs itch!
"Noodles. I'm taking you to victory noodles."
"Noodles?" Lix tilted her head as the man finally let her go, his hand reaching below his front counter for a sleeveless jacket. Her paws danced out of the way as he dropped the heavy fuel tank and flame nozzle from his back before donning the threadbare clothing over his dirty undershirt. "I can't eat noodles!"
"Sure you can. It's fake food anyway. Meelk has wheat in it. Noodles are wheat."
"But I can't taste it! I think."
"Oh, just come on!" Jack huffed as he mounted the counter, thumbing the lock and armed the security mechanisms next to the door as he ushered Lix into the bustling corridor outside his shop. The Kux'lar clung to him as she was nearly swept away by the stream of bodies, species of all shapes and sizes milling about and threatening to rip her from her feet. Most were larger than her by a head, Kux'lar being bent forward and all due to their anatomy, so she sidled closer to her new mechanic.
"Keep these bastards from stepping on me! Be useful! You're my mechanic now!" He jaws snapped with a harsh clack, the demand- no, the order, final. Jack could only laugh as he pulled the irate raptor behind him, grunting as she threw the back of his jacket over her head as if it would protect her identity from anyone who would recognize her. A single yellow eye peered from underneath the hem as she held his hips, following his quick pace. Frustration grew in the lizard as the jacket continuously fell from her noggin, forcing her to bend low to keep the protective cloth in place.
"You've never had a crew before, I take it?" A shake of her scaly muzzle was his only answer. "Well, then I guess you don't know about crew assignments, payroll, daily muster and duty orders?" Lix's mood fell with each point, her eyes roaming the tight hallway. She could feel the slow turn of the station below her scaly paws, that inexorable pull of artificial widespread gravity that needed no drive to keep her grounded to the deck but did little to reel in her drifting thoughts. She distracted herself with the interspersed shops along the gently curving wall that ran along Koorka Station's outer ring, most selling ship parts or guns or clothes or broken trinkets… In the end, neither they nor the headache inducing din of the rushing crowd could make her ignore the fact that she had no idea what she'd gotten herself into. She didn't know what any of that meant. What was a muster? How did she calculate payroll? Oh, by the stars, she was going to have to pay Jack! A groan escaped her throat as she hid under his jacket fully, turning her head to press her face into the small of his back, painfully smacking her eye into the handle of his revolver.
"Ouch! Damn it! Gnah!" This wasn't… so bad however. Amidst the turmoil of heady smells and roaring boots, paws, tentacles, and whatever else was swirling around her, Lix could take a breath here. Sheltered beneath the shrouding hut of Jack's jacket there was an eddy in the rushing white rapids that was Koorka Station. Here, all she could smell was his sweat and while not entirely pleasant, it was a sight better than the whirlpool of olfactory torture that infected the tight steel walls that entrapped her. Her racing thoughts could focus down to one singular point without the distractions and worry and harsh overhead lights…
"I take it that's a no?" Jack bit his tongue as her fangs nipped as his vulnerable flesh above his waistband. There was no alloy cybernetics to protect him now. "Chill, fangy lady! I'll run you through it. Heading up a shop isn't all that different from running a crew." Reaching back, he pulled the morose lizard to his side and, more importantly, her fangs away from his skin. "You just stick with Jack, I'll get you flying straight!" Unwilling, a smile graced the Kux'lar's face before she nodded, the grin growing in strength. In a way, she always knew this was going to happen.
"Yeah. Yeah, fine!" She shook like a dog, the blue scaled crest on her head snapping open to whack Jack in the nose as she rose to her full height just a foot below his face. "So what's your story, Jack? When I requested docking permission it said the Stripped Bolt was owned by Geoffery Morgan, not Jack."
"Ah," The man rolled his eyes as he rubbed his throbbing nose. "That smarts. But yeah, it's a mean-spirited joke at my expense. Can you believe it?" Lix nipped him again. "Gah! Fine! I got it when a hydraulic jack failed and dropped a vectoring thruster on my left arm." He grinned with savage glee, waggling the now cybernetic arm. "Took it off right at the shoulder. People started calling me Jack ever since then. The other one was shredded in a faulty reactor explosion. Had to get it amputated. I was actually pretty excited after seeing how much better steel was than flesh! I'd do my legs if I didn't need another power supply at that point. Got a Terka T-Ninety-Nine powering these puppies." He flexed, and not quite undeservedly. It had taken several years to pay off the powerful replacements. Before Lix could get a snarky word in edgewise, Jack snagged her clawed hand and pulled her sharply into a small hole in the wall shop that smelled of… wheat, carbs, and exasperation. The sign said Shio-udden Ramen-ifications. "Welcome to Marty's. He don't talk, you don't ask about the name, and he only sells one thing."
"What's that?" Lix wrinkled her nose, tilting her head as spices assailed her heightened sense of smell. "Edible microplastics?"
"Nah, well… probably, but no. He sells the best reconstituted noodles on the station. Second most easily obtainable food besides Meelk." Jack grinned through the raptor lady's glare as he stated the obvious. There had been a time were dried noodles in the style of ramen from the Human home planet of Earth, which was now a lush garden world few could get a visa to visit, had nearly become a contender for the most readily available calorie source in known space. The Whisper Box had seen to it that competitor businesses just didn't quite get as much traction as the super-wheat and vat-grown meat sensation that was Meelk. That didn't stop the phenomenon's spread however, in fact, the loss to Meelk made ramen a bit of a delicacy. It was something different than chalky meat wheat that… crumbled unpleasantly in one's mouth. Ramen on the other hand, while rarer and more expensive by almost half, was seen as either a status item or a celebratory food.
"So… the name." Lix looked up at the flickering LED sign before following the grinning Human inside, hopping up on a spinning stool she steadied with her powerful tail. Steam wafted from behind the counter she set her claws on with eight distinct clacks, a massive gray… creature going absolutely wild over several pots bigger than the Kux'lar's chest by a large wide stove and muttering about murder and the ever-changing price of spices. That must be Marty, Lix assumed, watching as the broad being worked deep dishware full of boiling water, bubbling sauces, and stringy noodles. "Is it designed to drive away customers? 'Cause if so, well done. Very destructively creative."
"Nah, it's a story in and of itself. Marty got scammed by the previous owner of the shop slot and within several seconds of discovery, killed the guy." Another grunt came from Marty, the mountain of gray muscle slamming a pot of noodles down in a shower of boiling water than rained upon his customers like the wrath of a divine being. Several ran, unable to endure the mighty heat of the noodle's lifeblood. Jack simply shook his head. Weaklings didn't deserve reconstituted ramen in recycled station water. "Anyway, noodles and instant consequences are his lifestyle. So, the shop name reflects that."
"I see." Lix wisely avoided her usual snark while she was in range of Marty's tree trunk arms. "Very cultured. How do we order?"
"Oh, that's easy. We just sit here. He'll serve us eventually. In the meantime, why don't you tell me about these races?" Stars shone in Lix's eyes as she used her tail to turn her stool on the man, her claws rapidly grabbing at nothing.
"So, we're currently in the Vestiturn Circuit, five inner system races in the Iota Hard Rock belt out in the Uita forty-four cluster. Then a semi and final chase in the outer ring, all in the ice fields around a rouge terrestrial planet on a seriously long orbit around some random star. It's just a bunch of numbers and letters, doesn't matter. The whole race is called the Rakton Belt Dash!" Lix began to bounce in her seat, the old and tortured springs protesting her abuse. Jack couldn't help but smile back. The reptilian racer was like… well, like how he was the first time he laid eyes on the No Safety Measures. "Since I won the last run by three seconds, I'll get favorable positioning! Only… I know Ters and Mo'Ona are waiting for me to leave station…"
"Ters and Mo'Ona?"
"Second and third place from the last race. Ters lost a few drive bell plates trying to skim around a rock to sling past me, it was pretty much the only reason I was able to pull ahead so far. I was supposed to let them slingshot me and be happy with third…" Anger boiled in her slitted eyes as Lix twisted the stool back and forth with an ear-piercing squeal of metal on metal. "Then fourth and fifth until the 'newbie slizzer',' She quoted the slur with a set of claws. "Racer faded out of the standings." Slizzer was a hasher way to address reptilian species, much like how one would call a primate like a Human monkey. It was the leading cause of claw scars in Kux'lar space. "I couldn't do i-ack!" Lix nearly fell from her chair as Jack's solid hand slapped her shoulder.
"Atta girl! You let me tweak the No Safety Measures a bit, get the tuning up to spec, and we'll be leaving those bastards in more than just your drive plume." Two steaming bowls of noodles floating in a vibrant, heady broth clattered to the counter in front of them, Marty tromping back off towards the stove with a huff as Jack immediately dug in using two steel fingers as chopsticks. Lix was more hesitant, more cautious, her nose sniffing and wiggling over what appeared to be a bowl of long stringy worms. The carnivore in her both blanched at the off-white tubes and salivated at the floating chunks of vat grown beef covered in succulent spices.
A furtive glance at Jack was all she needed to cave. The Human stuffing as many of the noodles into his face as his body could handle, the skin of his cheeks red from the heat. Unlike the savage mechanic, Lix was a raptor of manners and poise, her claws going for the provided fork. With movements slowed by a lack of surety, Lix twisted several noodles into a bundle, raising them to her eyes to watch them drip yellow water. She'd seen ramen, of course, and the rarer and more expensive yakisoba. But she'd never dreamed of eating it… Slowly, she brought the mass to her mouth and bit down, careful to avoid biting the fork in half as she had done several times before.
Bliss…
Stars burst in the Kux'lar's mouth as flavors danced across her long, thin tongue in a swirling waltz of confectionery wonder. Creation, time, life and death, joy and euphoria, all swirled between her fangs as she squeezed her eyes shut and pulled her clawed hands to her mouth. Lix couldn't help herself, she moaned openly, her taloned feet layering over one another as her killing claws tip-tap-tapped like a murderous typewriter. Marty nodded in satisfaction as yet another being had their ramen cherry popped in his shop.
"Good shit, eh?" Jack asked through a mouth full, wiring the chef his payment. Lix didn't answer. She couldn't answer. No, there was no time for words. Words were pointless when there was ramen to be had. The noodles wrapped around the beef chunks in a sinuous dance upon her pallet whetted by a splash of broth that made her want so desperately to swallow. But she refrained, with great willpower, in order to prolong every bite and morsel. Senses burst in her mind, her sight wavering as smell and taste melded into a soul melting glob of… of… satisfaction. "Oh yeah. That's the good shit, right there." Jack chuckled, forcing another mouthful of noodles into his gob. "So, I gotta solution to your problems my scaly friend." Jack tipped his bowl up high, downing the spice filled broth like a panacea for all the galaxy's problems. "There's this ship I got, mentioned it earlier actually. A fat, slow thing with a big open bay and lots of point defense cannons. Belonged to the, ah… old owner of the Stripped Bolt." He grinned; his lips wet with soup. "Name's Gerthtrude, get it? Gerth? Like the strap?" At Lix's confused stare, he continued. "Anyway, she's docked on down the way. Plenty of room for that sexy racer of yours in her big ol' belly. Only one problem."
"No problems when I've got food this good."
"It's the MSG." Marty rumbled.
"Anyway," Jack glared at the interruptions. "I suggest, we go and pick my fat pig of a hauler up and stuff the No Safety Measures right up her ass." He rammed his arm at the air, Lix leaning away with a grimace. "Turn that beauty of yours into a trailer princess, basically. Then use the Gerthtrude to secret ya away to the races. Can even start working on getting that engine tuned to spec. What do ya think?"
"Sooooo goooood." Lix lapped at her own broth like a dog, her tongue bringing the golden liquid, the nectar of the gods, into her maw. In reality, it was exactly what she needed. Jack was her first big break, her windfall that caught her stumble. A knowledgeable mechanic with a hauler big enough to both transport her racer around the circuit and work on her during the transit? She'd be dumb to refuse. "What's the catch?" Too good, in fact.
"I told the dockmaster for that specific dock that I'd pay the docking fees when he pulled his head out of his ass just far enough to at least put his lungs back where they belong. Wanna break a hauler out of impound?" It was then, Lix decided, that nothing good ever truly came free.